* the blood .

while i'm sure that my best and only friends of 20+ years abandoning me and forcing me to pick up and move my whole life will have lasting emotional damage, that's a therapy bill for future me to worry about. for now i'm washing my hands clean of the grief and getting back to enjoying shit. i will be moving my discords and transferring any current server ownership to my new account (or attempting to) -- so feel free to ad me now or just wait a few and i will do the rounds soon!

gale thinks that if given the chance he'd lose himself here, in kalymjor's embrace, armor or no. it's better than the tightness he feels when he wakes alone in the cold and the dark. he knows he'll be fine. he knows he'll push through. he always does. but for a moment...

he's given the option to break a little.

kalymjor is giving him that. gale can't even put into words how much that means to him. there's a warm swelling in his chest that he is trying to smother. there's no place for it here. there's no indulging it, so far as he knows. their guardian isn't indulging him for any other reason than gale being his charge. the stirrings of gale's mortal heart are no reason for him to take an interest. nor should he return them. gale knows better.

and yet.

gale almost tells him not to try, that his safety is paramount, that testing his shackles might not even be worth it. gale isn't worth it. but kalymjor doesn't seem to think that gale isn't worth it. it shouldn't make his heart swell but it does. gale swallows it down and watches him put a little distance between them.

he wants to get closer. but he heeds the warning.

all you deserve. it's a pleasant shiver. gale watches as the gauntlet frees itself from the guardian. it vanishes before the clang of it hitting the ground could disrupt the sort of reverence that's fallen between them.

it strikes gale here that there is a man beneath the armor. one seen more than just in flashes between the armor. he knew that. but seeing it now... that feels... good.

gale doesn't hesitate. there's a hand extended. gale wants to take it. but kalymjor tells him to step towards him slowly. the wizard's breath catches in his throat and he steps forward.

careful.

slow.

neither come.

glowing eyes dart beneath the visor from gale's face to his outstretched hand, the red ribbons of color snaking about his arm. closer, closer, closer still... and when he's just a breath away an no harm has befallen him, the stalwart immortal gives way to this fleeting moment of excitement. he reaches forward that final inch and grabs gale's hand.

such a simple gesture, so often taken for granted. he barks out a sudden laugh, stunned and joyous. oh, the answer had been before him all this time; what a fool he was! his wings outstretch behind him and flap with an almost giddy energy, as if touching gale's hand had sent sparks racing through his body. perhaps it had.

he eagerly reaches for his other hand, hovering just outside of touch as the gauntlet there shimmered and fell away also, intertwining their fingers together. wind whooshes around them in a small gust with another excitable flap of wings, lifting him from the ground a spare few inches -- the rest of his armor follows suit. sabatons, greaves, cuisses, cuirass, pauldrons, until all that remained...

gale lets him have that. they could have found someone. but they wouldn't be kalymjor. and gale would still be here, he thinks. because it's not that he's actually here for a guardian angel. he's here for this guardian angel.

if it was anyone else, he doesn't think that he'd have come at all. perhaps it would have been easier to swallow. but they've met many times now. and every time gale sees him he feels something inside his chest. it's warm and hopeful and he needs some of that tonight, he thinks. perhaps he should be ashamed to look so pathetic.

he knows he must. a tall, proud figure brought low by lies and shadows. cowering.

as much as a man can reason that what he is hearing is not true, it still cuts deep. it clings. it digs its claws into the fabric of him and plucks on old wounds. even here he cannot stop the welling in his eyes, though the tears refuse to fall even as his cheek is cupped. even just his name is a balm to the raw parts of him and gale barely contains himself. he presses against the touch.

his own arms wind around the guardian seeking a comfort he has been denied for too long, perhaps. only they stop at hard armor and he remembers where he is. this too is not real. he knows that. and yet. gale studies the cut of the visor, seeing eye contact and reassurances that he has no right to ask for. the smile too is a balm and gale applies it liberally. like that might help save him. or heal him. or something.

gale lets out a quiet breath, a sad chuckle. his fingers grasp now at the wrists of his protector.

❝ mm, the only difference between the fickleness of gods and mortals is that mortals are honest about it, ❞ he says, stroking a thumb over the apple of his cheek. in this moment he doesn't mean for his voice to sound so bitter, and though he knows he has reason to be so he cannot recall the precise details. after coming this far, knowing a fraction of the immortal life he's lived, he has learned to simply trust his instincts on these things. 

whatever he knows or not, it doesn't change the fact that all he can do is shield them from within the prism. he cannot be there for them – for him – not in reality. he pulls his lip between his teeth, studying the fingers clasped at his armor. ❝ no, never alone. not for as long as i can help it, ❞ he supplies, taking his hands and lowering them in his grasp. ❝ i cannot give you all you deserve, but i think i can come close. as long as i am willing to test my shackles. ❞ he steps back, gesturing for gale to remain where he is, coming to a standstill a few paces away. 

he hadn't been able  to trust it before, but the fractions of his recovered memories begin to unveil a few hidden truths. an inkling of a hidden truth, at least. nothing he was willing to outright risk harming gale over. with a steadying breath he raises one hand, outstretched, and the gauntlet shimmers, fading into a cascade of small, falling feathers, each one a shimmering mote of light that vanishes before it hits the ground. fingertip to elbow a bare, pale grey arm remains, decorated in streaks of metallic red. he almost feels a tug, a warning – don't get too close. 

the way the guardian says it has gale bowing his head in understanding. he hadn't meant to tread over sore spots. there is much they don't know about the person keeping them from turning into mindflayers. that doesn't stop gale from being curious, though. of course he wants to know.

their savior is hidden behind a helmet. stoic and far away from the rest of them but in this moment gale feels that they're close. closer than he's been to anyone lately. there's a comfort in it. even as the guardian's attention is split. gale is reminded that he has stolen him away from his duties.

"it is frightening to think of all that power... the things you're keeping at bay for us... i cannot even begin to form the words for thanks. they hardly seem like enough."

but then, every soldier deserves a moment respite, don't they? that's what his tower can be, he thinks. kalymjor is asking. gale flushes at the cheeks. "is this a request for you or for me?! it feels like... an indulgence. how could i say no?" gale reaches out to touch at his elbow just gently, unable to resist the touch. dream though it is. after a moment he gives him a dazzling smile and turns back to the tower, willing it to shift and change to his will. "i've always had a very active imagination."

that's what he thinks makes him a good wizard. "that's never been the limit for me. i... let's not talk of her." mystra shouldn't taint this place. the tower grows, expands, rooms filling in with just the thought, pushing into something more concrete as the floor beneath their feet shifts.

a kitchen. several rooms with magical artifacts and workspaces. a study. an impressive bedroom. a garden in the observatory. "some of this is just inklings i had before-- - well. i'm sure you know all about what i had to do. the tower in reality is but a pale shadow of what i'm building for us here."

even as it shifts around them he almost feels the need to take to the air, keep his feet out of the way of the changing floor. despite the connection forged between them that allowed the passing of thoughts and feelings from one mind to another, it's nonetheless a privilege to be able to see the formation of the tower coming into fruition. each passing room, fading into existence and then being replaced by another, is some part of gale reserved for this safe space. were it not for the utterly gleeful expression he had, kalymjor would have once more felt the invader.

at last the tower settles, and he's greeted with the vision of a rooftop garden. peering up out of the glass dome he can almost see the familiar night sky of waterdeep, bleeding through the expanse of the astral from gale's memories. ❝ you will certainly have plenty to choose from, ❞ he muses, running a hand along the telescope as he wandered the space. the underdark certainly wasn't lacking in impressive flora, though it would be a special challenge in itself to get any of those plants to thrive above ground --- nonetheless in a skyward tower.

part of him feels foolish. gale has prayed many times. if not to invoke the goddess of magic, to beg for forgiveness or plead his case. gale has never particularly considered himself a pious man, but then he was entertaining a celestial being, the goddess of his own chosen interest, for a very long time. perhaps piety looks different than he'd thought.

he is not seeking anything, really. except comfort. the shadow cursed lands tug at him uncomfortably. the orb, though quieted for the moment, is still heavy and hungry. the darkness lingers at the edges of every camp, and the physicality of it is made manifest at the edges of the last light in. it weighs.

fear is not an uncommon feeling for gale dekarios. neither is resignation. but tonight he feels small and hollow.

perhaps he's expected that their savior would ignore him as mystra has his many petitions. perhaps part of him is seeking that, to be ignored. but even before he can give up entirely, the sound of great wings and the jangling of armor.

gale's breath catches in his throat as he opens his eyes and something like relief softens his brow.

he knows he is interrupting but... at least he's not kneeling. "i... sometimes that doesn't feel like quite enough." gale's expression is sheepish too, cheeks flushed. the wizard clasps his hands together in front of him. "yes. you're the only guardian angel i know, you know." he chuckles. gale should, perhaps, feel silly seeking solace and comfort here, but...

he softens in the face of gale's naked fear, his vulnerability. now more than ever he's reminded of what exactly he is. not in his entirety, a lot of memories are still fuzzy, beyond his reach, but he's regained enough to know he's meant to comfort. at his core, the very basis for his being, is meant to soothe; to reach out a hand in acceptance when no other was offered before. 

and his heart flutters knowing his company was desired. 

❝ gale, ❞ his voice is almost a whisper. it would have gone unheard in the natural landscape of the shadow cursed lands, but it echoes gently in the dreamspace around them. gauntleted hands clasp around his shoulders, a rare moment of touch-comfort for him, even from within his armor. ❝ do you truly think yourself unimportant? ❞ it made his heart ache to hear him speak in such a way, to feel the well of loneliness and fear emanating from gale across their psychic connection. 

it shouldn't be so surprising to be given the grace to behave how he wished in his own mind. but it is. perhaps gale has spent far too long beholden to others. or one, other, really. something pleased and warm slithers up his spine and settles between his shoulder blades. kalymjor is right, of course. this is his mind.

and he is making the conscious effort to invite the other into it.

gale grips his wrist perhaps a little too long, distracted once again by the space that they've created here. it feels almost real. as if perhaps he'll wake and the last several years were simply a dream.

this is how he wants to remember his library. his home. he wonders if it extends beyond the heavy wooden door that closes them into the round, comfortable, space. he finds he doesn't want to find out. he is comfortable here in the presence of the armored being that keeps them safe. gale knows it's not exclusive to himself, and yet he feels...

special.

that is a dangerous feeling, he reminds himself. and not always true. but it lingered still. gale finally released his companion's wrist and offered an apologetic smile. perhaps he should say he was sorry. the contact had been real, though, and gale would not apologize for being selfish in this. wanting connection. wanting to be touched. how long had he wasted away? even now he yearned for it, fingers on his skin. something. to feel real. grounded.

he takes a careful breath.

"i suppose you're very lucky then, that we're here. it must have been... lonely." gale can relate. more than he'd like to say. "maybe one day you'll get to see the real thing. after all this. i'd like to show you-- -"

kalymjor looks off in the distance and something like fear prickles at the back of his neck. "what is it?" a rug yanked out from under his feet, is what it feels like. if they are to be invaded, or challenged, or if something is bothering him about this space... gale wants to stay here for as long as possible. but he supposes of late they don't really get what they want, do they?

he can be ready.

 he almost raises a hand to the visor on his face, but hesitates, and instead gestures towards his companion. calming, apologetic. ❝ the cult, ❞ he offers, returning his hands to clasp behind his back. ❝ orders from the absolute. nothing directed towards you and yours — or rather, your parasites — but the raw power of it… ❞ even at a distance he could feel it, like hearing the thunder seconds before the shock wave battered against his ribcage. it's enough to make his tail droop, his wings sag with the effort of it all.  it was a singular war he was fighting, quiet as it seemed, yet fight it he must. 

[thank you. umh...] he grasps at the amulet around his neck, fingering the metal hoop that connects the speaking-stone to the chain. [i don't want to be alone, but the others—it's not their fault, but they keep looking at me. i just can't handle it anymore. i'm terrified that i'll catch someone's eye, and...]

he eyes the stone around his neck, it's enchantment not needed to converse with one such as him, but waits to comment on it in case it is a comforting anchor to hold on to. ❝ i see, ❞ he hums after a moment of contemplation, returning his visored gaze to far beyond the ruins. ❝ your worry comes from a place of kindness, that is to be admired. ❞

(  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  nosferatu  (2024),  directed  by  robert  eggers.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit.  ) 

❛ come to me. ❜

❛ a guardian angel. a spirit of comfort. spirit of any celestial sphere. anything. hear my call. ❜

❛ you wakened me from an eternity of darkness. ❜

❛ you are not for the living. you are not for human kind. ❜

❛ and shall you be one with me ever-eternally? ❜

❛ come here. there’s nothing to be afraid of. ❜

❛ i wish i could stay, my love. ❜

❛ why have you killed these beautiful flowers? ❜

❛ i must tell you my dream. ❜

❛ i’d never been so happy as that moment… as i held hands with death. ❜

❛ i wish you to have all you deserve. ❜

❛ you mustn’t leave. i love you too much. ❜

❛ i will stay with you until you are fast asleep. ❜

❛ uh, forgive me. i only wish to stay one night. ❜

❛ by god’s name, never speak of that castle. ❜

❛ i banish you, i banish you with garlic. ❜

❛ beware of his shadow. ❜

❛ the shadow covers you in a nightmare. ❜

❛ you are late. the midnight hour has passed. ❜

❛ i wish you to do as i request. ❜

❛ i will be addressed as the honor of my blood demands it.❜

❛ speak not of it again! ❜

❛ take heed what you do. ❜

❛ i might ease your wound. ❜

❛ come by the fire. ❜

❛ your face shows you unwell. ❜

❛ do you ever feel at times as if you were not… as if you were not a person? ❜

❛ look at the sky. look at the sea. does it never call to you, urge you? ❜

❛ you are fortunate in your love. ❜

❛ now are we neighbors. ❜

❛ it is late. you must wish to retire. ❜

❛ i have been enduring the most irregular dreams. i fear i am taken ill. ❜

❛ it is a black omen to journey in poor health. you will remain and well rest yourself. ❜

❛ dream of me. only me. ❜

❛ oh, he’s coming to me. ❜

❛ i cannot resist you, my love. ❜

❛ i am no one. i am his servant. ❜

❛ look, this is a pretty one. his lordship likes the pretty ones… ❜

❛ you are lost in his shadow. ❜

❛ soon i will no longer be a shadow to you. ❜

❛ soon our flesh shall embrace and we shall be as one. ❜

❛ i have not failed your lordship! ❜

❛ embrace me, my boy. i am so rejoiced to see you. ❜

❛ my dear creature, yes, i am he, and i am hither come to help you. ❜

❛ my dreams grow darker. ❜

❛ does evil come from within us or from beyond? ❜

❛ i shall persist to join you every night… first in sleep, then in your arms. ❜

❛ everything will be mixed with abomination, and you’ll be knee-deep in blood. ❜

❛ you are promised to me! ❜

❛ i will end this plague. this devil. ❜

❛ he hasn’t found you. ❜

❛ i feared i’d never see you again. ❜

❛ you shall crave of me nothing. ❜

❛ the bells of dawn shall toll in despair of my coming. and i shall taste of you. ❜

❛ pray, forgive me for all the troubles i have caused you. ❜

❛ i am only glad you have become yourself again. ❜

❛ may i… stay with you tonight? ❜

❛ this creature is a force more powerful than evil. it is death itself. ❜

❛ i have seen things in this world that would’ve made isaac newton crawl back into his mother’s womb. ❜

❛ i have wrestled with the devil as jacob wrestled the angel in peniel. ❜

❛ if we are to tame darkness, we must first face that it exists. ❜

❛ i have felt you crawling like a serpent in my body. ❜

❛ love is inferior to you. ❜

❛ i told you, you are not of humankind. ❜

❛ i am an appetite. nothing more. ❜

❛ i lay within the darkest pit. till you did wake me, enchantress, and stirred me from my grave. ❜

❛ you are my affliction. ❜

❛ i care nothing of your afflictions. ❜

❛ yet even now we are fated. ❜

❛ your passion is bound to me. ❜

❛ you cannot love. ❜

❛ yet i cannot be sated without you. ❜

❛ remember how once we were? ❜

❛ i abhor you. ❜

❛ i will leave you three nights. tonight was the first. ❜

❛ tonight you denied yourself, and thereby, you suffer me to vanish up the lives of those you love. ❜

❛ you revel in my torture. ❜

❛ upon the third night, you will submit, or he you call your husband shall perish by my hand. ❜

❛ till you bid me come shall you watch the world become as naught. ❜

❛ tell me, what is this insufferable darkness? ❜

❛ nothing you can say will shake me, for there is a devil in this world, and i have met him. ❜

❛ i’ve brought this evil upon us. ❜

❛ i sought company. i sought… tenderness, and i called out. ❜

❛ at first, it was sweet. i had never known such bliss. yet it turned to torture. ❜

❛ it was you that gave me the courage to be free of my shame. ❜

❛ he took me as his lover then, and now he has come back. ❜

❛ all my sleeping thoughts are of him every night. ❜

❛ don’t touch me! i am not to be touched. ❜

❛ i’ll be good. i promise. ❜

❛ you could never please me as he could. ❜

❛ yes! take me! ❜

❛ kiss me. kiss my heart. ❜

❛ let him see. let him see our love. ❜

❛ without you, i will become a demon. ❜

❛ you’re safe with me. ❜

❛ keep away from me. i am unclean. ❜

❛ he will murder you if i do not go to him. ❜

❛ kill him i will. he shall never harm you again. ❜

❛ i can weep no longer, for i have no more tears to shed. ❜

❛ the grim reaper wields his heavy scythe with every change of wind. ❜

❛ the monster left you to the wolves, yet you prevailed. ❜

❛ his pull to me is so powerful, so terrible, yet my spirit cannot be evil as his. ❜

❛ we must know evil to be able to destroy it. ❜

❛ you are our salvation. ❜

❛ i bid you, come to me. ❜

so many nights on the road, far from home, feet uneven with the uncertainty of the future. perhaps gale had needed this more than he had thought. a moment to breathe. the real thing would have the spray of the ocean and the sound of waves just barely distant enough to ignore. a backdrop to the comfort of this place. it'd been a quick pull before he'd found himself here. he hadn't asked. but he was happy. happier than perhaps he cared to admit, and the wriggling of his unwelcome tagalong had soothed to something a little less noticeable.

gale almost missed his companion's words, so swept up in emotion, in the comfort of the place, that everything had faded to the background. but he caught it, and he caught his armored wrist. "no-- - please... it's always better when i share it with others. even if it is only a dream."

someday it might be real again.

"please stay. my manners are abhorrent, i am sad to say. incredibly out of practice, i suppose. this is my library in waterdeep. it looks a little different now, i'm afraid my exile has made me a poor house keeper." among other things, of course. his entire tower had been stripped of anything remotely magical to feed the orb. but it was good to remember it in the state it should be in.

muddled as his memories were, that much he could recall.

besides he had to learn the lesson to keep mortals at an arm's length again and again, and each time it seemed as though it might stick something or someone came along and brought him back to square one.

his tail swished almost happily for the invitation to stay, wings shuffling briefly and settling against his back. ❝ it's your mind, ❞ he states, gesturing to the surrounds. ❝ you're required to act in no way for my benefit. ❞ though he was still glad to be able to stay, lingering in a space which so clearly brought comfort and fond memories. he's as glad to watch gale take in his surrounds as he is to simply linger.

❝ don't thank me, you were already here, more or less. i just --- stepped in. ❞ and still he remains where gale had stopped him, standing in place, hands gently clasped in front of him. regardless of the wizard's manners, he did feel the part of imposter still, and wasn't keen just yet on wandering the space. ❝ i... ❞ head tilts, trying to pull on fragments of memories. nothing he could recall came with any clarity, only a feeling; a sense that somewhere out there surely there existed a place he could find solace.