SugarPink

Sometimes...I just feel like my soul is sad and tired.

I'm recovering from an Emotionally and mentally ab*sive marriage to a narcissistic micromanipulator that capitalized on how I was raised by the same kind of person.

I'm 28 and moved out at 19 and in with my now ex that I mentioned. So my entire life I've been trapped being a people pleaser. Raised in an environment where I had to live in survival mode. Now I don't know how to turn it off.

I'm anxious a lot of the time about everything. I've learned to hide it because I'm embarrassed and don't want to be a burden. I don't want to make someone cater to me. But I need help. I want help. I've gotten myself self help books to try to understand more and learn how to heal myself. But I don't know how to enjoy the things that used to bring me joy or relax me. I cant relax without feeling guilty for wasting time or not feeling productive. I feel behind in life. I don't feel like I've accomplished much. Which I know isn't true but I just feel so tired. I'm emotionally drained.

I have these things I'd like to try but there's a chasm of anxiety and self doubt and fear that are between me and even trying to do them...

Anyway...sorry for the sad post.