Looking around the classroom, you made sure that everything was as it should be. Yugi and Joey were playing Duel Monsters (and since it did not have any cool holograms, the game did not really matter to you), Tristan and Téa have gathered around, watching.

That weird white-haired kid was somewhere in the corner, or whatever. He was like some mentor in your dream.

Kaiba was reading a book.

Kaiba…

You furrowed your brows and studied him for a moment. Kaiba was obviously one of them forever alone types and you could not imagine him ever being remotely romantic.

But he did have lots of money. And that meant something to you.

Formulating a plan, you nodded to yourself. You were going to marry the sonnavabitch and have his fortune. Yes.

But other than your lifelong ambition, there was nothing really out of place. You were still a Japanese teenager with a Western name and inappropriate accent to contract with Joey’s equally inappropriate Brooklyn accent. Téa still sounded like a guy who was desperately trying to sound like a girl. And Tristan…

Tristan was still Tristan.

Perfectly normal.

You were pulled from your thoughts at Yugi addressing you.

“Are you even listening?” he asked. “Are you going to come and see the super special awesome chocolatey fudge-coated sugar-sprinkled mega ultra rare super card with us after school?”

The economy revolved around card games, so it sounded like a good adventure. But there was one problem.

“Don’t we have cram school?” you asked.

“Cram...school?” Joey asked, blinking in confusion.

“Cram school,” you repeated and looked at your friend’s confused expressions. “Are none of you guys looking to go to college?”

“Isn’t that adorable?” Yugi asked Tristan and Joey. “A woman, trying to learn.”

“Speaking of which,” Joey continued, “how is it that we’re friends again?”

It seemed as if everyone turned their heads to Joey at that exact moment in bewilderment

You never felt more offended in your entire life.

“You don’t remember?” you questioned. “We’ve been friends for years! I’m like the contrast to Téa especially because I’m voiced by a female. While Téa will constantly be called useless and universally hated by the fans for being a good friend, she will be labeled as a dirty whore for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Meanwhile, I’ll be the beloved female character who tries constantly to get into Kaiba’s pants and steal his fortune, but no one will think anything of it. Not only that, but I complete the Five-Man Band trope.”

As you continued, you pointed to each member of your group, announcing their roles. “Yugi’s obviously the leader. You, Joey, are the Lancer. Tristan is the Big Guy. I’m the Smart One, and Téa is the Chick. Duh”

“I do say, that is an interesting assessment, but what about me?” the white-haired guy with a British accent asked.

“Um...Who are you?” Yugi frowned.

“I’m Bakura. We’ve also been friends for years,” he insisted.

“Never heard of you,” Yugi waved a dismissive hand and turned back to his friends with a dramatic eye roll.

“Bye, future husband!” you called to Kaiba’s retreating back. He paused for a moment, looked back at you with a horrified expression before he began to walk faster towards the exit.

“That Kaiba kid needs to get laid,” Grandpa declared.

“Big time,” Tristan agreed.

Well geez, it was not as if you were not trying! This was your first day. Kaiba would come around…

Instead of being overly concerned that your two friends had just jumped overboard, you were more concerned with what you were missing on the Paint Drying Channel.

You were just going to remain huddled in the corner as a stowaway. After all, your hair was not even remotely crazy enough to be on this ship.

“I wonder if Tristan was really right about the sun coming up in a few hours…” you mused.

You were so pissed off at Joey right now. You thought you had been friends, but when he shoved you aside and challenged your future husband to a children’s card game instead of you in order to protect your honor…

Well!  

“Kick his ass, babe!” you called out.

Joey gave you a thumbs up. You folded your arms like the petulant teenage girl you were. “Not you, him! Go Kaiba-babe~! <3”

Kaiba just ignored you.

That was fine, he could pretend you did not exist. You were in it for the long con.

Besides, you were going to raid the shit out of that helicopter once he left. That way, you could learn about him and trick him into liking you!

Or maybe you could ask Joey for driving lessons. If he could teach you how to drive, he could certainly teach you how to pilot a helicopter. After all, he totally owed you for stealing the spot as Kaiba’s most hated person.

Douche.

“Kaiba, wait!” you called out, running towards him dramatically. Looking at you, he seemed ready to just jump so he would not have to deal with your shit.

You decided not to risk it.

“Before Yugi kicks your ass again, could you do one thing?” you asked.

Kaiba closed his eyes before exhaling deeply. “What do you want?”

“Sign this,” you were not sure where you got it, but you were glad you had this. Just in case.  

He snatched the paper from you and could not help but widen his eyes in surprise before he glared down at you. “A marriage form”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “If you’re going to kill yourself. Why not leave your fortune to someone who matters?”

Kaiba tossed the form over his shoulder and into the ocean.

"You shoulda just pushed him in the ocean," Joey said once you dejectedly rejoined your friends. "'Den your character might have been useful for once."

"Kaiba must die!" the Pharaoh proclaimed and the duel continued.

“What are you doing here, Mai?” Yugi asked once they found a familiar face in the virtual world one Seto Kaiba was being held in.

“I’ve been beta-testing this game for KaibaCorp?”

You only saw red and lunged at the harpie. Luckily for you, 4kids censored how badly

you got your ass handed to you.

Mokuba nearly darted for Kaiba the second he found him. Before the kid could get away (and get himself in trouble,) you grabbed a hold of his shoulder.

You were not going to have anyone unchain Kaiba. Not when he was so...vulnerable.

“Hold on a second,” you said to Mokuba. “This is obviously a trap. Let me handle this.”

As you approached, Kaiba turned his head away from you and refused to look at you. That was fine. You could play this game.

“Hey there,” you greeted in your best sultry voice. You put your hand under Kaiba’s chin, but he stubbornly fought against your attempt to force him to look at your sexy leather outfit. You even had a whip.

Undisturbed, you ran your finger down his jawline. “You realize that there is only one way you’re getting out of this, right?”

“Are we really just going to watch while she molests Kaiba?” Mai asked.

“Someone’s gotta do it. Might as well be the crazy bitch in leather,” Yugi answered.

“Um...You guys,” Mokuba tried but only was told to shut up in unison by everyone in the room. Including the Witty Phantom.

“We should probably do something about him, huh?” Joey asked while cracking his knuckles.

“If anyone asks, I never screamed and agreed to marry anyone,” Kaiba warned as soon as the virtual pods opened.

“I freakin’ hate filler arcs,” you muttered. “Nothing is ever canon.”

“Shouldn’t we be concerned about altitude sickness? Or like, hypoxia?” you asked the moment you stepped out of the elevator to the dueling field.

“Never question mein Führer!” one of the offensive stereotype bodyguards quipped.

“I’m too rich to be concerned about the lives of commoners,” Kaiba replied. He raised his voice so the others could hear him. “This is the ultimate test for duelists. At 20,000 feet, we are subjected to frigid temperatures of the upper stratosphere where the slightest bit of turbulence can send any of us spiraling to our untimely deaths.”

“I mean, shouldn’t we have oxygen tanks or something?” you continued, wondering what kind of doctor or legal team thought this would be a good idea.  “At this altitude, we are getting only like, thirty percent of the oxygen we would on the ground and furthermore--”

“If you’re so concerned, then why don’t you save some of your oxygen and shut the f-ck up?” Kaiba snapped.

“...Hypoxia,” you muttered but the sound was lost in the wind gusts at such a high altitude.

“Oh please, what’s the worst that can happen?” Joey asked, slinging his arm around you and leading you away before Tristan could call you a witch for using such complicated language.

"Shouldn't we be wearing our space suits?" Tristan asked, not noticing any witchcraft, after all. 

“Kaiba, he is about to interrupt the duel,” Mokuba warned.

“That’s fine, as long as no one looks at my boner right now,” Kaiba replied while looking up at the Egyptian God card.

“How is it that he is able to have a boner while wearing pants that tight?” you asked out loud.

“Ah-ha! I always knew Kaiba had an extremely small penis!” the Pharaoh laughed much to Kaiba’s chagrin.

When the blimp hit the water, you all lost your balance and went hurling in random directions. Unfortunately for you, it meant a six-foot tall teenager in a heavy coat and buckles toppled right on top of you.

“Is that all you got Poseidon?” Joey challenged.

“Stop pissing Poseidon off, Joey!” Since Kaiba was pretty much laying on top of you, it made it so you had no idea who that came from, but were pretty sure it was Téa.

“I know you don’t want to die a virgin, but at least buy me a drink first, you groaned since more than one of Seto’s buckles was digging right into your side.

It took Kaiba a few tries to stand up, but not without touching your boobs.  By the time he faced the green-haired plot device on the screen, his face was uncharacteristically red.

Kaiba REALLY needed to get laid...

Mokuba pushing Seto into a hole made it so he was knocked back into you, causing all three of you to fall into the same hole.

Fuck your life, you wanted to ride the hole with Yugi. His bullshit main character powers would have protected you.

You now had no choice but to follow Kaiba and Mokuba around while they went through their past. It took less than half a second before Kaiba used Mokuba’s vest to blindfold you.

“At least buy me a drink first,” you muttered while Mokuba dragged you along their childhood memories.

You really wish you were with your actual friends. They were probably having more fun than you were.

Little did you know…

“Can I take off my blindfold now?” you questioned when you heard the fight between Tristan and Kaiba.

“I always knew Kaiba was into some kinky shit. Duke Devlin approves.” With the theme music, you knew exactly who said that.

“Hi Duke,” you greeted in the direction the music was coming from.

“Hey babe. Lookin’ good. But I think you would look better with all of that clothing on the floor.”

After Kaiba started getting his ass kicked by a guy with a stick and Joey had to use Tackle, you decided you were just going to take the blindfold off.

You did so just in time to see Mokuba getting kidnapped. Kaiba then grabbed your wrist to drag you off to grab another motorcycle.

“Eat it, nerds!” Kaiba called out while racing past your friends.

“Okay, when did this show get awesome ?” Yugi asked.

“Couldn’t you have left me with my friends?” you called over the roar of the motorcycle’s engine. You would hang on for dear life, but were kind of afraid to wrap your arms around Kaiba. You might contract Virginitis.

“You have Mokuba’s vest,” Seto retorted. “That and you know too much about my childhood. I can’t possibly risk you telling that to Joey. Or Yugi. Especially Yugi.”

You thought a moment. “Maybe just pay me not to tell anyone? Like a normal person?”

“What about trying to marry me?” Kaiba asked. “Isn’t that the only part of your character?”

“Oh, yeah. That. I kind of forgot about that,” you admitted. “It’s been awhile since Season One, so that idea got axed since it’s more entertaining for us to have a hateboner for each other.”

“It’s not that big of a hateboner,” Kaiba grumbled.

“Kaiba,” you called. “My crotch is pretty much right against your ass at this point because I don’t want to fall off this bike and die. I have seen your erection through your leather pants. I think I know a thing or two about hateboners at this point.”

Silence.

“So you have no interest in me whatsoever?” Kaiba was not ready to let this subject drop. “That was all you used to talk about.”

“If I am going to be perfectly honest, you have been kind of a little bitch. That’s kind of a turn-off for me. Also, most of our problems are your fault.”

Duelist Kingdom was because Kaiba cared about a card more than his company and that created the mess with the Big 5. If Kaiba never hosted a tournament, then Marik would not be that much of a problem. If Kaiba did not kill his stepfather, then you would not be trapped in this virtual world.

Again.

“That, and your outfit has kind of sucked since Duelist Kingdom. I just can’t take you seriously anymore...But we can still be friends, right?”

Kaiba was silent and you were pretty sure he wanted to turn you into road kill. Instead, he fiddled with the radio until his theme music came on.

Yeah, he was lame. Maybe you would be attracted to him during the Grand Prix arc. Men in suits were hot.   

You barely had time to think before Kaiba leaped over a gap and crashed the bike. You both skidded and once again, fell into a compromising position.

This time, he quickly leaped to his feet and brushed himself off.

“So you mean you’ll tag team duel with Yugi, but you won’t tag team with me?” you demanded.

Kaiba just stared at you until you realized what you said.

“Oh right. I’m doing phrasing now.”

“Phrasing,” Kaiba retorted.

At least Leichter was patient enough to wait while you two talked. Truly, he was a southern gentleman

During that exchange, you were in the middle of choosing your deck master. N’tss was an obvious option but was too much of a spoiler. So you were going to have to go with Fencing Fire Ferret. Because you were a girl and it was cute.

“God, I hate cute,” Kaiba shook his head when you first selected him.

“Lord of D ?” you questioned. “Like you’re not compensating for anything?”

“Boy, I say boy. I do declare that you just got told,” Leichter retorted.

“Thank you, Leichter. I’m glad someone around here had manners,” you beamed.

Good thing your deck was full of Internet memes and references. Leichter did not stand a ghost of a chance.

You were both losing.

“Oh hey, Kaiba. Are you losing so bad that you needed a girl to help you out?” Yugi asked.

Kaiba fumed.

“Did you already lose so bad and you are too shy to admit it?” Yugi continued. “It’s okay, because I already beat you enough times that you losing is just natural.”

“I never lose!” Kaiba declared before you had to suffer through another flashback. During this, you saw what he was doing and nodded in approval.

Revenge of the nerds: the memes strike back.

“Hashtag: Winning.” Kaiba declared once Leichter destroyed himself.

Téa was beginning to worry everyone, she sounded hornier than you. And that was saying something.

“It’s really disconcerting,” Yugi mused.

“You guys, I’m fine….But I think my mouth tastes like fish!” Téa blanched.

“Those are...very nice,” Kaiba said while looking down at Téa’s breasts. “But I am not interested. I going after Noa on my own terms.”

“But does he have these?” Téa questioned, holding her arms out so her breasts were thrust in front of her.

“God, I hope not,” Kaiba concluded.

Before you could grab the nearest projectile and eviscerate your only female friend, Joey and Duke held you back. Normally, you would be happy to be held down by two good-looking guys, but you were going to murder Téa.

It took the Pharaoh insisting that no one wanted Téa’s body before you calmed down. Which was good since Joey kind of needed his hands-free in order to duel.

You spent the majority of the duel insisting that you were just trying to protect Yugi by

ensuring Téa hit on no one else but Yugi.

Just listening to Kaiba insult and make fun of a dead ten-year-old. It showed how much of an asshole he was.

And yet...watching him get turned into stone hurt more than you could ever imagine.

...Dear God, you were in love.

Wait. 

Did Kaiba drop his wallet?

You decided to just ignore the touching reunion between the Kaiba brothers. After all, you were not going to let Kaiba think that you were happy to see that he wasn’t permanantely a statue within a virtual world designed for a dead ten year-old.

Also, you were not going to be anywhere near him when your friends inevitably ratted on you by telling Kaiba you stole his wallet.

You really wanted some nachos and you were pretty sure that your parents were going to ground you the moment you got back home. Which meant no nachos for you.

You decided to just ignore the touching reunion between the Kaiba brothers. After all, you were not going to let Kaiba think that you were happy to see that he wasn’t stone.

Also, you were not going to be anywhere near him when your friends inevitably ratted on you by telling Kaiba you stole his wallet.

The rental car trundled through Chicago rush hour traffic, much to Mokuba’s chagrin. All you could do was murmur another apology before trying to make yourself as small as possible. You just decided to keep quiet and play on your phone.

You knew that you were not responsible for the fact that Mokuba was stuck in traffic; the moment Mokuba suggested you bring the Millennium Necklace on this little road trip, you had decided to try to get out of it by any means necessary.

Ever since toking up with Mokuba, every time you even thought of the Millennium Necklace, there was a feeling--almost like an itch--you felt beneath your skin. Why couldn’t Mokuba accept the fact that playing around with dark powers--dark powers that came from blood magic as a result of sacrificing one hundred people--skeeved you out a little? Seto certainly did.

After some time of playing on your phone, you looked up at the screen to see traffic had cleared up. Now that you were out of Chicagoland, there was nothing but the landscape of 1=94 for as far as the eye could see. Which were basically road signs, rolling plains, and the occasional farmland. Mainly plains though.

You went back to your phone.

Over two hours into the trip, you looked up from your game to see a brown road sign in the shape of Wisconsin. You could not catch sight of the sign in its entirety, but you could clearly read the yellow letters that said ‘Wisconsin Welcomes You.’

Immediately, the quality of the road degraded. You were definitely in Wisconsin.

“You better welcome Wisconsin back,” Mokuba said, startling you out of your rumination. “Otherwise, it might not be so welcoming next time.”

You glanced over at your boyfriend’s brother to see if he was kidding. He was unreadable. “Pull over then. We must pour one out as a tribute to the gods of beer and cheese.”

“Maybe in a bit,” Mokuka replied.

Yugi’s current room was located in a basement apartment. At present, there were two people--stationed as guards--one was reading a book while the other was on his phone. Even without the Millennium Eye to read their thoughts, their boredom was palatable. Not that Rafael could blame them.

The one on the phone looked up and quickly stiffened. Their discomfort was immediately obvious and in spite of trying to hide their thoughts, Rafael could hear it as well as if they were shouting. No one would try to stop him, so Rafael just brushed past the duo and entered the room.

Once inside the dimly lit bedroom, Rafael heard the door lock behind him. His one-eyed gaze immediately fell on the Millennium Puzzle that was hanging over the bedpost as a decoration. Yugi had regarded the Puzzle as mere decoration. The Pharaoh was now long dead and without his spirit inhabiting the Puzzle, Yugi viewed it as nothing more than a trinket.

Yet there was more way to gain the powers and knowledge of the darkness. The Items were created when the Pharaoh was but a babe; their magic could be tapped into without the dead god-king. The Pharaoh had sealed the powers of the Millennium Items with his name, but now that he unlocked his memories, that seal came undone.

With the Millennium Items, the Shadows were theirs to command.

Yugi had been sitting at the small corner desk and while his back was to Rafael, the older man already knew those violet eyes would be pure vitriol if Yugi turned around.

“Yes?” Yugi said coolly without turning around. With his height, he could easily see over Yugi’s head and that the younger man was shuffling a deck of cards.

“You’re going to be moved again,” Rafael said without moving further into the room. He spoke as gently as possible, but he knew that Yugi would not be soothed by any tone Rafael used.

“I see,” was all Yugi said in reply, his shoulders stiffening in obvious irritation in spite of his cold resignation to the situation.

“You always think you’re alone,” Rafael said before he raised his fist to knock on the door and be let out. “Someone like you always has friends in unexpected places. You have never been the type to lose hope.”

The hopeless laugh that escaped between Yugi’s lips was drowned out by the sound of Rafael knocking on the door and telling the sentries to open the door.

Aisha Lynch smiled as she sipped from her champagne flute while her husband spoke to two men in business suits. She played the perfect little wifey for this, seemingly allowing the conversation to go over her head. Oh--she had heard their names--but had not been pressed to remember it.

Of course, there were the appropriate nods and sounds of affirmation to go along with the ‘Really?’ and open-ended questions ad nauseum. It allowed her to slip through the conversation with minimal fuss.

The elite from the greater Milwaukee area--as much as anyone could be called “elite”---were in attendance for the rouse of a gala. Two weeks, she told herself through the plastered on smile, in just two weeks, she would no longer have to keep up the facade.

Power and glory would soon be hers.

New Age bullshit was all the rage these days and even the wealthiest, most educated could be persuaded to try a cleanse or tea to balance the chakras. From there, it was a matter of finding the right approach to take the leap from being a New Agey hippie goop (Just like Gwyneth!) to relieving themselves of their wealth and revealing connections.

“‘Darling, if you will excuse me, I believe that the senator just arrived. He was kind enough to come all the way here for us and I would not be a proper host if I did not chat with him.”

Adam patted her shoulder and nodded at her. Aisha exchanged a warm smile with her husband before she made her way across the ballroom; smiling and nodding as she passed her guests. What she was not expecting was the sight of Kiara inside the ballroom.

One of the four selected to hold a Millennium Item along with herself, her husband, and the Pharaoh's vessel of course.  Aisha’s least favorite, to be honest. Too mousey. Not to mention, Kiara was petite whereas Aisha was tall and willowy. Whereas Aisha had dark features, Kiara was pale with white hair and bright blue eyes. Aisha never missed the way Adam looked at her and it fueled Aisha’s disdain for the girl.

It was a disappointment the Millennium Items had not struck any of the five down the moment they touched them. Perhaps the manuscripts were just ways to scare off anyone from attempting to obtain their power. Or maybe their magic faded with time.

None the matter, really. It did not change what would happen in two weeks. And it did not change her dislike of Kiara. Which is exactly why Aisha had ensured that Kiara was not near her and Adam tonight.

Aisha attempted to casually maneuver around Kiara, but the younger woman lightly touched her arm and blocked her path. “I’m sorry to interrupt--” she began in that annoyingly timid manner of hers.

(DEAR FUTURE ME: CHANGE DIALOGUE. IT IS AWKWARD AS SHIT AND READS LIKE A BAD MARY SUE FANFICTION)

“Be quick with it then,” Aisha snapped in return.

“There’s a car going between here and the museum,” Kiara spoke quickly and quickly lowered her voice into a lower, conspiratorial tone. “There were calls made and---”

“It’s Mokuba Kaiba. And...her.”

Of course Aisha knew exactly who she was. An annoying bad-tempered child who should have been killed. None of what the others said about her mattered and should have been no concern of Aisha’s. Yet this girl teamed up with Seto Kaiba and the spirit of the Millennium Ring. She was now poking her nose to where it did not belong.

“I will call you with instructions,” Aisha replied. “Do you have eyes on them?”

Kiara nodded.