babygirl

“i had an anger towards you but it was a different one you know? it was the kind of “hey i’m still here thinking of you” or it was more like “i still love you, i still look for you” “it is still about you” it was a love anger i was love after everything you’ve done”

“I am always moving towards you. On my bad days, I say to myself: “then you”. Sure, this now. But then you. I will keep tossing myself life lines. I will keep writing myself afloat until I don’t have to write a poem for every mile marker from here to California. You and I together is the most foolish thing I’ve ever hoped for. You and I apart is more foolish. When I can’t sleep at night, I dream up conversations with you. I never call. I never push. I try not to whine. I just write it all down. Sometimes I want to apologize for wanting you out loud, like too many people know the reasons I am going to have laugh lines. Sometimes instead of distanced pillow talk, I want to curl up with the phone and read you poetry. Instead, we just talk about it. You say, “honey, how was your day?” And I say, “today I wrote another poem about your coffee cup mouth and all the ways you still keep me up at night.” I hear a sigh in your smile. You make a sound that reminds me of fighting with my bags at the airport; but you’re still too far away.”

me at age 13: ugh pet names are so lame lmfao I never wanna be called “baby” gross lol just call me my name thanks

“our Octobers never met again we became so distant i don’t know how to ask how you have been how can i start a conversation by saying i love you still how can lovers turn into strangers like that we will never meet again but if we do, God if we do, i hope you read ‘i miss you’ in my eyes”

“I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once.”

“i had an anger towards you but it was a different one you know? it was the kind of “hey i’m still here thinking of you” or it was more like “i still love you, i still look for you” “it is still about you” it was a love anger i was love after everything you’ve done”

“I wonder how long it will take for me to stop dreaming of you. if I had known how long this love would stick to my skin, would I still have started it? yes. yes. a thousand times yes.”

Things I wish I could tell you: