It's the little things like this that comfort and put me on the fence.

I know I have my soul mate. I've said before I believe we have, and will, find each other in every lifetime, in every universe.

It's the only thing that makes me want to stay. Even if I know with ever fiber of my being that we will meet again, it doesn't make this easier to know I'll be leaving you behind. Despite the pain it may cause you.

I'm sick, I'm not getting any better. Staying will only hurt everyone. When I'm gone, the pain will lessen over time. If I stay, it just festers and rots in the people I love.

It doesn't matter how much I accomplish, I will always feel like a fraud for any achievements.

Maybe my postpartum depression will let up.

Maybe it already has and this is my normal level of fucked in the head.