F1!SUKUNA X REPORTER!READER

SYNOPSIS - just when sukuna thinks it'll be another round of boring post race interviews, here you come practically calling him a loser on live national tv! wc 1.3k

AUTHOR'S NOTE - the poll winner as a bday gift from me :P ur girl's bday is tmr so i wanted to get this out ASAP thank you so much to everyone who voted :3 not proof read (i need a beta reader omg) enjoy!!

CREDITS - pictures from pinterest, sukuna fanart from @-to00fu, divider from @-cursed-carmine

taglist ... @khiulahaha @bleepybl00p @lifeofroblox21

even with the blinding, and rather unflattering, lighting and flashing cameras of the media pen, sukuna looked as cocky as ever. as a matter of fact, he looked like he thrived in the lime light.

a wave of reporters raised their hands and called for his attention but sukuna was drawn to you. the only one who wasn't hollering over others but there you were, front and center against the barricade. he struts over to your side, stopping just before the mic before he juts his chin in your direction as he spoke into the mic, "the pretty lady with the cute notepad in the front.'

you give him a bland smile that did not reach your eyes. “charming,” you say. “rather impressive drive today, from twelfth to p2. that overtake in lap 11 was impressive, but some are questioning whether it was truly necessary so early in the race."

"what can i say? my instincts told me to follow through, and it paid of," he shrugs.

"you nearly locked up and lost the rear," you challenge.

sukuna's eyes narrowed a fraction, unnoticed by others but not by you.

"that's racing," sukuna says, "if i don't take the gap, someone else will."

"so you believe it was worth dropping two seconds because your tires overheated? and of course, you ignored the recommended pit stop." your voice remained steady, your face seemed almost bored; as if you were lightly scolding a child for something so obvious. had it been anyone else, sukuna would've been annoyed and taken the fine just to cuss them out. but for some reason, he only grins at you in response.

"i still got podium though, now didn't i?"

you hum, as if in thought, "well, they do say second place is the first loser." reporters around you mutter in shock at your sharp words, the other drivers sweat dropped as they stared at sukuna to gauge his reaction, one of the drivers even scooting away from sukuna in a not-so-subtle way.

but instead of blowing up in anger, sukuna only laughs. the sound shocks everyone, it seemed so unnatural coming from him given the tense setting. he didn't seemed offended in the least, in fact, he seemed intrigued.

"you always this nice in your interviews?"

"only to the ones that ignore strat calls."

"i was right in my call."

"you were lucky."

the two of you keep your gaze on the other steady, never once breaking eye contact. sukuna's smirk was now permanently cemented on his face as he analyzed you. ever since he started racing, these interviews were always so bland to him. he enjoyed the fame it got him but that was about it. the questions were always the same and so were the reporters; just any other boring asshole asking the same damn questions. it felt like routine at this point. so it was only natural for him to be so interested in you, the first reporter to ever have the balls to call him the "first loser".

sukuna leans closer the mic as he offers you a question, "you saying im a bad driver?"

for the first time, you return a a coy look at him; almost as if you were silently saying your words not mine. "now, i never said that mr. sukuna."

the other reporters then took this as their chance to try and get his attention to ask their own questions. his team press officer comes up to him and ushers him to another section of the pen, trying to direct the attention away from the interaction the two of you just had on live tv in hopes of preventing a possible pr nightmare. even as he walked away, sukuna couldn't tear his eyes from you until you broke eye contact first and exited the pen, heading to interview another racer. the rest of the interviews were boring as always, but now even more so in comparison to the one he just had with you. he practically sped through the rest of the questions; offering short answers and even blatantly ignoring some reporters. his pr manager could chew him out for it later. for now, he was determined to find you.

by the time post race interviews were over, he was the first to slip away and evade his team in hopes of finding you. he eventually does find you and tries to appear as casual as possible as he watches you do your sign off in front of your camera man's rolling cam. by the time he reaches you, you signal for your camera man to cut it and he puts the camera down, almost shrinking at the sight of sukuna. you turn ever so slightly to look at him, barely even acknowledging him before telling your team to go ahead without you. leaving just you and sukuna.

"anything i can help you with?" you ask him, not angling your body to face him. and though you would never admit nor would you ever show it on your face, you were a little intimidated now that he was standing so close. and with his ridiculous height, he was practically leaning over you.

that snarky grin returns to his face like it was his nature. "y'know, most reporters try pretty damn hard not to insult me on live television."

"now when did i insult you?" you ask.

"i seem to remember you calling me 'the first loser'," sukuna repeats, even if he didn't seem the least bit insulted by your earlier jab.

"i don't believe i was calling you that directly," you justify. "merely referencing an old saying."

"eh semantics," sukuna shrugs. "besides, i'm not here to reprimand you for insulting me."

"then why do you seem like you're waiting for an apology?"

"i'm not, just.. interested," sukuna replies honestly. "not every day someone has the guts to say the stuff you did."

"would you have preferred i say it behind your back?" you offer, the corners of your lips pulling into a small smirk.

this pulls another chuckle from him as he steps even closer to you as he looks down at you with a calm expression-too calm. "you really don't care if the drivers like you, huh?"

"i don't get paid to make you like me."

"no, but wouldn't it make your job so much easier?"

"i wouldn't say that," you say. "you seem pretty intrigued by my methods so i'll take it as a job well done."

the grin on his face widens; this was refreshing to say the least. not only do you insult him, but the way you hold this banter with him was just so easy. perhaps he was still coming off the high from the race. that's what he'll blame it on should this go downhill from here.

"what do you say to a date then? to see how effective your methods really are. and ill show you mine," he suggests, his voice dropping into a low, sultry tone at the last word.

to no surprise, you don't back off. rather, you take a step forward and look up at him alluringly. "then i'm afraid ill have to decline. i don't go on dates with losers."

sukuna barks out a laugh, grinning proudly as he says, "is that so? well don't you worry your pretty little head. my next race is next weekend so clear your schedule for me, yeah?"

you pull away from and turn to walk away. but not before throwing a smile over your shoulder. "win first then we'll see, sukuna."

fluff

sukuna’s glasses were always crooked, perpetually sliding down the bridge of his ridiculous nose because he refused to get them adjusted, choosing instead to aggressively shove them back up with his middle finger like some sort of aggressive anime antagonist who just calculated the exact trajectory of your downfall.

sukuna was, by all societal standards, an absolute menace to the public. he was the kind of guy who would look at a professor’s doctoral thesis, snort, and point out a formatting error in the bibliography just to watch the man’s soul leave his body. he had a tongue like a razor blade and an ego that could easily collapse under its own gravitational pull. people avoided him in the hallways like he was carrying a highly contagious strain of the bubonic plague.

but right now? right now, the terrifying, sharp-tongued academic tyrant was currently sitting on your bedroom floor, his massive frame folded into an impossibly small pretzel shape, looking up at you with the big, watery eyes of a golden retriever that had just been told it was banned from the couch forever.

“please,” he muttered, his voice dropping into a raspy, pathetic register that would have shocked his classmates into actual cardiac arrest. “just five more minutes. let me finish the chemistry module for you. you’re going to mess up the stoichiometry, i know you are, your brain literally short-circuits when there are more than three variables.”

you didn’t even look up from your phone, merely shifting your leg to lightly tap the tip of your fuzzy sock against his shoulder. “‘kuna. what did i say about insulting my cognitive abilities while begging for my attention?”

the reaction was instantaneous. a shudder ran through his entire spine, his shoulders dropping as if you had just physically drained the battery out of his system. it was honestly hilarious how fast the bravado evaporated. this man could argue a literal judge into a corner, yet one tiny, unimpressed glance from you turned him into a heap of useless mush.

“i wasn’t insulting you,” he scrambled to say, his hands twitching over his mechanical pencil. he looked so profoundly desperate, his hair messy where he’d been aggressively running his fingers through it all afternoon. “it’s a statistical fact. a data-driven observation. but i’ll stop. i’ll shut up. just don’t move your foot.”

heaven forbid he lose the absolute luxury of being your makeshift footrest.

people at school always whispered about how you survived being around him. they assumed he was some kind of overbearing, controlling brute who probably lectured you on astrophysics until your ears bled. little did they know, the reality was so sickeningly sweet it would give a dentist a stroke. sukuna didn’t boss you around; he lived to be bosses around by you. he was a certified, card-carrying servant to your every whim, completely paralyzed by the mere concept of your affection.

“i need a snack,” you announced casually, tossing your phone onto the mattress.

before the sentence had even fully cleared your lips, sukuna was already on his feet. he practically launched himself into the air like he’s programmed exclusively for your convenience. his chair scraped loudly against the floorboards, and his glasses flew off his face entirely, clattering onto your rug.

“i’ll get it,” he said breathlessly, completely ignoring his lack of vision as he squinted down at you. “what do you want? chips? those ridiculous yogurt with chocolate cereal that you like? i bought three packs of them yesterday because the grocery store had a sale and i calculated that your dopamine levels drop by twelve percent on thursdays.”

you stared at him, a slow, amused smile spreading across your face. “you’re staring at the wall, ‘kuna. your glasses are by your foot.”

he fumbled around blindly, his face flushing a spectacular, furious shade of crimson that extended all the way to the tips of his ears. once he shoved the frames back onto his face, he refused to meet your eyes, stubbornly looking at your pillows instead. “i knew that. i was testing the structural integrity of your wall.”

“sure you were. c’mere.”

the command was soft, barely a whisper, but it had the exact same effect as a leash being yanked. sukuna practically melted, his knees giving out as he dropped heavily onto the edge of your bed. the weight of him divoted the mattress, but he made himself as small as humanly possible, hovering just inches away from you like a moth resisting the urge to throw itself directly into a raging bonfire.

he was so ridiculously large compared to you, a towering wall of muscle and bad attitude that somehow shrank into a puddle of warm wax whenever you reached out. you wrapped your fingers around the collar of his oversized, slightly stained hoodies—he always smelled like old library books and expensive coffee—and pulled him down.

sukuna let out a pathetic, low whine in the back of his throat, burying his face directly into the crook of your neck. his nose nudged against your collarbone, his hot breath tickling your skin as he inhaled deeply, as if he were trying to memorize your exact molecular structure. his large hands hovered awkwardly in the air, trembling slightly, before he cautiously rested them on your waist, squeezing just enough to anchor himself but gentle enough that he might as well have been holding a piece of wet tissue paper.

“you’re warm,” he mumbled, his voice completely muffled by your skin. all the sarcasm, all the biting mockery he utilized as a shield against the rest of the world, was completely gone. he was just a boy who loved you so much it clearly physically pained him. “stay still. if you move, i’ll fail my coding assignment on purpose.”

“no you won’t. your academic perfectionism wouldn’t let you,” you teased, running your fingers through his soft, undercut hair.

he groaned, the sound vibrating directly against your chest. “then i’ll delete the professor’s database. don’t test me. i’m a desperate man.”

“you really are,” you laughed, tilting his chin up so you could look at him.

up close, without the glare of his laptop screen reflecting off his lenses, he looked incredibly soft. his eyelashes were thick, casting shadows over his sharp eyes that were currently wide and dilated, staring at your lips with a terrifying level of devotion. it was the kind of look that made your stomach do a backflip—a raw, unadulterated hunger that was entirely domestic. he looked at you the way an ancient astronomer might look at a newly discovered galaxy, completely awestruck and entirely out of his depth.

“can i kiss you?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly. it was a question he asked a thousand times a day, always terrified that he was somehow overstepping, always needing that explicit confirmation that he was allowed to touch you.

“obviously, you idiot.”

sukuna might have been a disaster at small talk, but he possessed an terrifyingly precise memory, and he had memorized exactly how you liked to be kissed down to the millisecond. he tilted your head back, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your hip, his lips moving against yours with a slow, agonizing sweetness that made your toes curl. he tasted like the sweet tea you’d shared earlier, and he kissed you like you were the only source of oxygen left on a dying planet.

he pulled back just a fraction, his forehead resting against yours, his breathing shallow. “i fuckin’ hate everyone else,” he whispered against your lips, a sudden, fierce rush of affection making his grip on your waist tighten. “they’re all so painfully stupid. but you... you’re perfect. it’s infuriating how much i need you to like me.”

“i do like you,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him back down. “even when you’re a snob.”

“i’m not a snob, i’m just statistically superior to the general population,” he mumbled, though there was absolutely no bite to it as he eagerly met your lips again, completely surrendered to the absolute chaos of being entirely yours.

★ IM ONLY HERE FOR THIS MOMENT ★

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abstract. one day satoru comes home blackout drunk, and you—his recovered addict girlfriend—berate him for his irresponsible actions. you two are thrown into an explosive argument in which words that can never be revoked are exchanged—and everything from that point on takes a turn for the worse.

⊹ . ݁ affil. satoru x fem!reader

. ݁₊ warnings. drug abuse, relapse, hurt/no comfort, ANGST, swearing, pills, drinking, crippling anxiety, regret, hospitalization, overdose

₊ ݁. word count. 4.3k

⊹ . ݁ author's note. PART 2 HERE

every man gets his wish

Was it a crime showing up to your ex-boyfriend's favorite bar? Or well, the only one you were both still not banned from?

A calculated move, sure, but look, it was your new boyfriend's favorite one too!

So what if you stared a little?

Nose scrunching up in disgust when he waltzed in with some dark-haired girl glued to his side and started tossing back shots with Gojo and his other idiot friends. How many times had you done this before? How many times would the two of it again? Making each other jealous until one of you inevitably snapped? Fucking around until you fought and figured out you were both pretty much intolerable and terrible to everyone else?

Toji wasn't too bad though.

Despite how difficult it was to keep up your angel act.

"Do you want to go?" Toji murmured in your ear, grinding up against your ass as his warm breath danced over your collarbone. Starting to press kiss after kiss up your throat, teeth skimming along the sensitive spots he'd been sucking on earlier.

"No," you scoffed a little too fast. "Not yet."

Not until Sukuna saw just how much fun you were having without him.

Which was definitely a lot.

Right?

You definitely weren't considering setting the entire place on fire when she ran her manicured nails up Sukuna's shirt and then raked her fingers through his soft pink hair. Or contemplating committing murder when she giggled at something he said and leaned in to start leaving lipstick stains across his jaw.

Twisting around to throw your wrists behind your boyfriend's neck, refusing to keep watching when every time they touched felt like torture. Pressing yourself all the way up against him, breasts pushed up as one of his big hands slipped down to squeeze your ass hard.

"God, I wanna fuck you," Toji murmured, slipping his hand beneath your dress to really grope you. Grabbing a handful as he dug his rock hard cock against your thigh, daring you to do something with it.

"There's an employee bathroom in the back," you mumbled, threading your fingers through his hair and tugging him down so you could bite his bottom lip instead of your own.

"Oh yeah?"

You knew because you used to fuck Sukuna in it.

Folded over the bathroom sink, his hand wrapped around your own hair to yank it back while he pounded you into the porcelain.

You refused to look back Sukuna's away when you took Toji's hand and started leading him there. Why would he give a shit when he'd probably be banging that bitch in his backseat by the end of the night anyway?

The still sane part of you hoped the bathroom would already be occupied. The crazy bitch you were at your core hoped Sukuna would waltz in halfway through Toji fucking you so he could see first-hand how much better you were at this moving on thing.

It might've you who started this game of pretending you didn't give a shit but you didn't feel like the winner even with a hot guy murmuring your name all soft and low as his thick fingers dug into your hips, dress rolled up to expose where your tiny lace thong was slick and sticking to your skin.

"Oh hell no."

Sukuna didn't look like a loser either when you looked over to catch him glaring at the rather compromising position he just found you in, holding the door to the bathroom open as a familiar vein throbbed across his forehead.

"The fuck is your deal?" Toji snapped, his hips pressed firmly against your ass, cock pulsing as he held onto you tighter.

"Keep your dick in your pants," Sukuna sharply retorted, as if he had any right to say shit like that. About to step in the bathroom before you heard Gojo call out his name in protest.

"I'm gonna put my dick in my girlfriend," Toji dismissively responded, only belatedly pulling down your dress to cover your ass.

Like it was anything Sukuna hadn't seen before.

"You don't even know her," Sukuna argued, the lump in his throat bobbing like he was the jilted one here. Neither of you wanted to be the one to break first, to admit defeat, but here he was, a crack in his armor - and his voice.

"You didn't appreciate her," Toji defended you, stepping back to put himself squarely between you and your ex. Who was acting a more like your actual boyfriend right now.

“She threw an air fryer at my fucking head,” Sukuna snarled, gesturing at you as Gojo appeared behind him, making a valiant attempt at holding him in place just for Sukuna to rip himself free. Storming over and puffing his chest out, muscles straining as he got up in Toji's face like he wished he had a kitchen appliance to hit him with.

But you just clung onto Toji’s bicep, batting your lashes at him as you pushed out your bottom lip, “Baby, does that even sound like something I would do?”

Toji scoffed at him, rolling his eyes hard, “Yeah, right, like I would believe that.”

You almost giggled at how stunned Sukuna was at Toji's belief in your innocence.

But then he turned to you, shaking his head hard.

"Don't tell me he doesn't bore you."

"Don't you have some girl waiting on you out there?" You replied, your voice tighter than you'd like, fingernails probably leaving little crescent moons in Toji's bicep as you hung onto him as hard as you clung to your pride. "I bet she's less annoying than me."

"Good thing I prefer my girls aggravating," Sukuna gruffly said, holding his hand out for you to take.

And how did you like your men?

trust sukuna is NAWT the poor baby here he absolutely just as much of an instigator too as reader is (thank you for the excuse to do another little drabble with their crazy asses)

let’s visit the FIRST time sukuna and toxic!reader ever went on a ‘break’…

“your ex is here.”

"yeah," sukuna snapped, forcing his wound tight jaw to unlock as he tried to shove down the temptation to look back at you. "i know."

"she's staring at you like you killed her pet," gojo added, blatantly staring back at you as he brought a red solo cup up to his lips. so much for a peaceful post-breakup party. "you didn't actually do that, did you?"

he broke into your apartment and stole your favorite panties to have something to jerk off to in your absence. maybe make you call him again to demand to know where they went.

but no, the fat cat that prowled around your place and swatted at him every time he showed up was still alive and well.

"no," he grunted.

"can't you just go sleep with someone else so she'll get off your dick?"

it only took a shot for gojo’s annoying goading in his ear to not sound like such an awful idea.

pretending you didn't exist was pretty fucking hard even when he had his tongue halfway down some pretty girl's throat, his hands on her waist while his eyes couldn't stop cracking open to peek around and see if you were watching.

it was somehow worse that you weren't.

made his blood boil, fingers pathetically digging into his palm as he almost recoiled back from her.

what was the point of kissing her if you weren't there to be bothered by it?

"you wanna go back to my place?" he grumbled instead, feeding himself another futile lie that if he just fucked someone else and forgot all about you.

"sure," the girl in front of him readily accepted, nodding along as her eyes glinted with excitement.

not a hint of crazy in them.

totally and completely normal.

and his dick was totally and completely soft.

so what if he'd need to think about you to get hard?

he would figure it out - or well, he would've if he could start his car. digging in his pockets like an idiot next to it just to come up empty-handed, storming back into the house to search for the reason why he couldn't leave.

where the fuck were his keys?

he glared at the bowl gojo always made them all toss their shit into for safekeeping in his bedroom, dumping it out on his nightstand and groaning as he shuffled through stuff that didn't belong to him.

"looking for something?" your annoyingly soft voice chirped behind him, his head immediately snapping back to see you leaning against the doorway with that irritatingly cute smirk of yours curled up on your glossy lips.

"you steal my shit?" he scoffed, like something inside him didn't heat up at your possessive streak. a little voice in the back of his brain slyly suggesting that maybe this was what he wanted after all.

"steal is a strong word," you pouted, slurring a little as your mascara-laden lashes fluttered.

god, he wanted to bend you over gojo's bed and screw you and this whole stupid breakup.

"you're drunk," he glared, grimacing as he stomped over to you, grabbing your purse off your shoulder to rummage through it. unfortunately, other than lip gloss and your own wallet, the only thing in there was a couple condoms. his stomach churning as he let out a low huff, "what, did you throw them in the yard?"

and sukuna's gonna let you be the boss!

synopsis: what's better to be than sukuna's crazy girlfriend? his crazy ex-girlfriend? when it comes to making up, breaking up, and everything in between, it seems sukuna's got your heart in his hands - and has no intention of letting it go. for better or worse. but probably worse.

pairing: boyfriend!sukuna x toxic!reader x landlord!toji

content: mdni. fluff and angst. porn with plot. crack treated seriously. reader and sukuna are both toxic and crazy. do NOT be like these idiots. jealousy. possessiveness. throwing shit. insecure and anxious behavior. oral sex. piv sex. rebounds. breaking up and making up.

art cr: @bitem4rked sparkle gif div cr: @pixopix div cr: @miyzluv

locking him out after boys night

sukuna eating a pudding cup goes viral

making him jealous out clubbing

hooking up with his landlord after a bad breakup

sukuna attempts to sabotage your new relationship

a tale of two boyfriends

sukuna steals your cat :(

you both know where home is.

bonus: their first breakup

"'kuna."

your husband said nothing. he merely continued to brush his horse down, barely acknowledging your presence behind him. your fingers fidgeted with your sleeve, nervous and guilty.

only an hour ago, you had argued with him openly in front of his men over something trivial. it should've occurred to you that something was wrong when he didn't even say a word in response. he only let you rant as he stood silent, jaw tightening. when you were done, you had just stormed off without giving him a chance to reply.

as your anger subsided, you had started to realize how he must have felt. being a formidable warrior with a fearsome reputation, sukuna never once showed a hint of weakness except with you. he had always been intimidating, terrifying, powerful. and there you were, undermining him with just an indignant lecture and no care at all for who he was with.

sukuna always met your fire with just as much ferocity. deep down, he loved to fight with you because he knew you could take whatever you dished out. the two of you would row it out until it ended in begrudging apologies and laughter while tangling under your sheets.

yet now, he didn't even deign to look at you. it hurt more than you could admit.

"'kuna, please," you pleaded softly, fingers brushing the muscles of his back. "truly i didn't mean to lose my temper, i'm sorry."

without him even turning, you knew the face he was making. eyes shut, teeth grinding, refusing to meet your eyes despite how much he might have wanted to. you didn't back down. a pout pulled your lips as your voice turned exaggeratedly plaintive.

"if i have offended my lord husband in any way, i wish to repent." your arms came around his torso, cheek resting against him. "it wasn't my place to speak to you that way," you murmured, coy, docile, so unlike yourself that sukuna would've laughed any other day. "i'll suffer any punishment you see fit."

still, he didn't move, though his hands almost paused, then tightened on the brush, resuming. you could feel his resolve breaking bit by bit, and you latched on to it.

"yell at me, curse me, scold me, do whatever you'd like to me," you walked around to face him, stood between his horse and his broad chest. you looked up at him through your lashes, then hugged him again as his whole body tensed up, still acting like you weren't there.

"just please, look at me again. i can't bear being apart from you."

after a few moments of tense silence, sukuna cursed under his breath and suddenly moved. strong arms wrapped around you in a crushing embrace, bringing you closer to him, and you hid a triumphant yet relieved smile.

"you provoke me, over and over again," he began, growling. "and the second i turn away from you, you cling like a vine." his fingers grabbed your face and forced it upwards as he glared down at you. "spoiled brat."

"will you forgive me?" you asked, voice muffled as he squished your cheeks. he let out an exasperated huff.

"let's see how i feel once i give you the punishment you so sweetly asked for," he pinched your ear and suppressed a smirk, making you whine. you didn't move away from him, though, content to be right where you were. and you suspected your husband was, too. no matter how mad he got, he was always weak for you in the end.

domestic melvika, my love

locking him out after boy's night | him eating out a pudding cup goes viral

"she was hitting on you."

and you looked sorta like you wanted to hit him, brows pinched together tight and lips pushed out in a familiar pout.

"she asked what time it was," sukuna grimaced, holding up his wrist like his watch was proof. heat already coiling in his stomach at the idea of how hard you'd probably fuck him later, nails dragging down his shoulder blades as you bounced on his cock to claim him as all yours.

"she just wanted an excuse to touch your arm," you scoffed, flicking him in the forehead before picking up the full shot the bartender just slid over, bringing it up to your lips and swallowing the acrid alcohol without so much as flinching.

"did you have to bring her tonight?" gojo whined on his other side, tugging on the hem of his shirt and rolling his eyes while you cut him a sharp glare. as much as he previously enjoyed breaking up your bar fights, he didn't want gojo so much as touching you.

"i'm going to the bathroom," you surprisingly muttered, more mature than he expected as you sat the empty shot back down and shoved your purse into his arms.

he should've known better.

because ten minutes later, he was pushing through the packed club to find the bathroom - and found some dipshit dancing with you instead.

his hands on your hips as they swayed in time with the music, your tiny little red dress rolling up high on your thighs as you leaned back against him, that annoying little smirk on your lips like you were just waiting to be discovered. batting your lashes up at him when you looked up, pushing out a glossy bottom lip as you said something soft enough for only him to hear.

and that asshole just ate it up.

blissfully unaware he was just a pawn being played with.

besides, who wouldn't want to be your toy? it was the only thing you ever made easy.

your eyes locked onto his, glittering mischievously before you ran your hand down his forearm, tapping twice on his watch as your mouth started to move again.

asking him for the fucking time.

all of sukuna's sensibility sucked out of his head as he stormed over, grabbing you by the wrist and tugging you against his chest as you scoffed at him like he was the crazy one here.

"get your hands off my fucking girlfriend."

"chill, dude," the loser huffed, holding his hands up defensively. "i didn't know she had a boyfriend."

sukuna made a sound, gritting his teeth as he started to step back.

"fuckin' slut."

sukuna blacked out.

and the next thing he knew, he was being pried off of him in the middle of the dance floor, knuckles dripping with blood as his fist connected one final time with his busted lip.

shit.

"lucky i didn't knock out your goddamn teeth," he spat at him, shrugging off gojo's hands as he felt himself being pulled back by his clothes.

a bouncer was there two seconds later to yank him out anyway, but he was focused on you, making sure you were by his side while he got screamed at for starting a fight.

he was sick of this place anyway.

grinding his back molars as they pushed both of you out the side exit, shouting to not come back or they'd call the cops, the same blah blah blah he'd heard too many times before.

"kuna," you whined, leaning your head against his shoulder as he flexed his bruised fingers. "did you have to get us kicked out?"

"he called you a slut," he grunted.

"i think you were just jealous," you hummed, the corner of your mouth curling up a tiny bit as he slung an arm around your shoulder.

"yeah right," he sarcastically muttered, lying through his teeth as someone called his name. glancing over his shoulder to see gojo throwing a hundred dollar bill at the bouncer, probably bribing him not to call the police before jogging to catch up. "let's just go home."

"oh?" you pouted again, lips pursed together as you followed his attention back to where gojo was standing. "maybe i should ask gojo if he wants to keep the night going."

"don't even think about it," he grumbled.

"don't think about what?" the idiot in question asked as he caught up.

"you wanna be the one to take me home?" you purred, deceptively soft and sweet as you smiled at gojo.

"if you say yes, i'll have to kill you," sukuna deadpanned, staring him down as he squeezed you closer.

"you're both fucking nuts."

for my darling @yenayaps

those two words are already enough to make fratboy!satoru’s poor, alcohol-muddled brain come to a screeching halt. he gapes at you, unsure if he’s heard you correctly.

“satoru,” you say, “i know this is sudden and weird and strange, but i need you to kiss me, like, right now.”

he blinks at you, hard. “you’re drunk,” he states, though his own words are slightly slurred.

“i am,” you confirm, nodding. “but that’s not the point.”

he squints, trying to piece together whatever mess you’ve roped him into this time. the party is still raging behind you, music thumping through the walls, but here in the dimly lit hallway, it’s just you—flushed and desperate, fingers curled into the fabric of his sleeve.

“what exactly is the point, then?” he asks warily.

you glance over your shoulder, then back at him, urgency clear in your expression. “that guy over there won’t leave me alone.”

satoru frowns instantly, body tensing. “who?” 

“not important. what’s important is that you kiss me so he gets the message.”

mdni. multiple jjk men. fem reader. all fics will feature heavy smut + crack treated seriously. tags will be found in individual posts. gojo art by @keki1205 + div by @pixopix

SHARKNADO! starring ex-husband surfer!gojo + shark hybrid!sukuna

WILL FEATURE MONSTERFUCKING + OVIPOSITION

it's raining...sharks? but, uh, instead of man-eating ones, it seems this one is hungry for pussy! will your ex-husband save you? or do you even want to be saved?

VELOCIPASTOR! starring veloicpastor!geto

WILL FEATURE BONDAGE + GLORY HOLE

as a stripper, you've had your fair share of strange clients. but, uh, a priest turned cult leader with the ability to transform into a velociraptor? yeah, that's a new one.

COCAINE BEAR! starring bear hybrid!toji

WILL FEATURE KNOTTING + PRIMAL PLAY

what's a wildlife activist to do when the bear hybrid she's been studying accidentally stumbles upon a shipment of cocaine? probably not have sex with him. easier said than done.

LAVALANTULA! starring scientist!nanami

WILL FEATURE HUMILIATION + BREEDING

keeping your crush on a coworker secret is hard! a lot harder when the volcano you've both been observing for months erupts - and now you've got to struggle to survive fire-breathing tarantulas together.

GOJO VS. EVIL! starring frat!gojo

WILL FEATURE SEX TOYS + APHRODISIACS

a cabin in the woods. a quiet pond to fish on. a relaxing little getaway where you could enjoy some peace and quiet. what could go wrong? a group of annoyingly attractive college students crashing your sweet spot - and start dying off after you save a beautiful blue-eyed idiot from drowning?

“someone jealous?” gojo snickered in your ear, slinking up by your side as he waved the bartender over to order another obnoxiously fruity and brightly-colored beverage while you nursed your own suddenly bitter drink.

“yeah, you,” you sarcastically muttered, refusing to feed into his (correct) suspicions that you were sleeping with your mutual friend. the year you’d spent between geto’s sheets didn’t make you his girlfriend though.

not that you ever asked to be either.

“come on,” he goaded, his hip bumping into yours as he cocked his head towards where geto was currently getting groped by a manicured hand. “i know you want to pry him away.”

“so you can grab him next?” you teased, trying to deflect as you twisted around just for his hand to cage you in between his broad frame and the bar top. his pretty blue eyes were fuzzy though, pupils blown wide as you realized that maybe what he’d been sipping on tonight weren’t mocktails after all.

“nah,” he grinned, white teeth glinting as he leaned in lower. “think i’d rather grab you.”

“how much have you had to drink?” you exhaled, eyes drifting down to his glossy lips, lingering there a little longer than they should.

“enough to want a taste of you,” he shamelessly smirked at his attempt to be seductive, his palm sliding up your side as if it always had a place there.

you’d never taken any of his flirting seriously.

but maybe you should’ve.

considering whether or not imploding your situationship over sleeping with your other friend as gojo’s fingertips gracefully slipped down to disappear underneath your dress.

“you’re touching something of mine,” a honeyed voice interrupted with a drawn-out huff, but gojo didn’t pull away.

and a new idea blossomed, your mouth curling up as you glanced between the two men too busy glaring at each other to notice the sparkle in your stare.

what better way to punish your man by showing him just how swiftly a certain someone else would swoop in to steal you?

“boys,” you hummed, clicking your tongue. “don’t you know how nice Paris is right now?”