we cant stop here; this is bat country.

the elf I just hooked up with, taking the lavender and honeysuckle lollipop from their mouth: An infinite scroll... most elfmaidens learn to enchant a scroll to never end before they're a mere 300 years old. It saves on paper.

me: oh see that's just writing, with social media it's really bad, it just leads to people doomscrolling all day

the elf I just hooked up with, spluttering and panicked: The Doomscroll! Be silent human, thou shoulds't not speak the name of that fell parchment

1.) Women in their fifties having the epiphany that capitalism and/or marketing is evil, but like. They don't realize that that's how capitalism and marketing as a whole are designed to work; they think that this is a unique type of evil that Bath & Body Works has invented. They'll be like, "It's sick and twisted that they just keep releasing new products that are inferior quality versions of their old products with a different label and then making them seasonal items so that people feel pressured to buy them before they can really think about it because they're worried they'll miss out!!! This should be illegal!!!" You're telling me, girl. You're gonna be soooooo mad when you find out about. The whole world.

2.) Level 1-2 Hoarders in denial showing off their collections of hundreds of candles and body sprays and lotions and then frothing at the mouth in the comments section when people offer support resources for hoarding and shopping addictions.