alexa play kamikaze

‘ guess he doesn’t have anything better to do. watch out, chi delt - seems like jagger’s out to get a full set. ‘

oh, she should...she’s got skeletons in her closet, and if i were her, i’d want those to stay hidden as long as possible.

some people never change. maybe he is, maybe he isn’t - i wouldn’t put any bets on him being a better person now, though. more likely he’s just faking it, and hoping he won’t get caught out. too late!

that depends - how soon would you like to see one? because i could share one with you right now if i really wanted...but maybe i’ll hold onto it for a little longer.

if you want to see one soon, let me know - you know i’m just waiting to reveal these secrets.

well, you know what they say - some people never change. 

i have a present for you, boys and girls. since i know we all struggle to keep up with who’s boning who, here’s a handy-dandy little spreadsheet for you all to use to your advantage.

it’s pretty simple - you just use google sheets like excel and all that. if you need help, feel free to message your hookups/etc to the gossip blog & i’ll fill it in for you!

SO CLICK HERE AND GET IT GOING!

oh, all of them. they’re all great at pretending they’re innocent, when i know they’re not. look at patrick - people can’t believe what he’s hiding, and that isn’t even the worst thing in his past. though i guess it depends on how you look at it. 

as for catching up with them…i think jagger might want to watch his back. 

all of them? i’m kidding - mostly. 

jude, eva, mia, james, alexis... all of them are at the top of my ‘belongs in a prison cell or maybe a criminal psych ward list. i’d like to see eva go first, mostly because she’s spent far too much time pissing me off...

of course, they’re not the only criminal types here. only the ones who’ve crossed the line a little too far.

they all deserve what’s coming. and i’ve put in the hard work, to get my hands on their dirty little secrets - i’m done keeping them to myself. 

aren’t we all? just assume everyone’s fucking each other, it saves a lot of time. if it isn’t scandalous, i’ve stopped bothering paying attention. but if anyone wants to help me make a spreadsheet, i’m all for it.

that’s what i’m here for, babe. my job is to ruin lives and make people cry, not to make them feel good about themselves. glad someone appreciates it.

i’m not lying to anyone. why bother, when the truth is just as bad as any lie i could come up with?

but hey, if you don’t believe me - feel free to ask him. maybe he’ll even give you an honest answer, now that he’s secret’s out. 

patrick, patrick - what are you hiding? well, it’s about time people found out.

the way i hear it, you weren’t very nice, back in your high school days. i think the kids call it being a BULLY. what did you call it? when you pushed other kids around, when you preyed on the people who had nothing to defend themselves, no money to hide behind, or something that made them different, like their sexuality - things that made them vulnerable.

how do you sleep at night, pat? i wonder how much pain you caused, how many people still have nightmares because of the things you did to them. and more importantly - how are all your friends now going to feel, when they find out how awful you used to be? maybe you’re just waiting to hurt them, just like you hurt those poor kids. i know i wouldn’t be trusting you any time soon.

i mean, seeing jagger get punched was fun for all of us, wasn’t it? other than that, it’s been pretty same-same. spice things up for me, won’t you, before i have to do it myself?

well, we’ve already had a fight, and there’s not much time left now - but i’m still waiting on a scandalous hookup or two. come on, i’m sure someone can manage it...