just like the ticking of clocks

★

“yeah, and what’re you gonna bandage it with? a dirty napkin you got tucked away? your shirt? not exactly the safest or the cleanest. and as someone who works in the medical profession, you should know that.” damien said in a matter of fact tone of voice. ever since he’d gotten to know michael, the older man had wanted to take care of him, save him even when michael didn’t want saving. “oh wow, only 2017? it’s 2021 now, michael.” he said and sighed softly. then michael decided that he didn’t want to be here anymore and damien rolled his eyes as the man walked away and called out the way he did. damien was about to go inside until he saw the way that the man was struggling with his keys to even get his car open. so of course, he walked over, grabbed the keys from the man and says, “let me take you before you end up killing yourself or someone else.”

✿

“i was gonna walk to the pharmacy and get bandages, i’m not 🎶 a moron 🎶,” he said, a sing-song high tone at the last bit of his sentence. he truly was losing it right now. “well, he can’t win it every fucking year, can he, damien?” he argued. he thought he was safe for now, until he felt the man grabbing his keys from him. goddamnit. “don’t threaten me with a good time,” he snarled, walking over to the passenger seat and slamming the door after getting in the car. the thing was, this whole incident had been damien’s fault in the first place. there would be no need for hospitals and ERs and stitches if it weren’t for him. 

★

it was evident to oliver that his best friend wasn’t getting the hint that he was being sarcastic. was he really that blinded and thought that his feelings weren’t being worn on his sleeves? surely he couldn’t be but, it was michael, so maybe. oliver just shook his head and laughed softly as he let the other man vent and ramble on. god, and oliver thought he was dramatic. but he hadn’t planned to leave a country just because he saw an ex, and he was sure that he was never going to let michael live this little dramatic soap opera moment down. “michael, everyone knows that you’ve been head over heels for that man since you first got together. it’s written all over your face! you get that lost puppy dog look when he’s not around then the moment you spot him, you’re like, i dunno, all over him and heart eyed. it’s cute, really.” oliver said, but that probably wasn’t helping michael’s problem at all. especially now that he had said boyfriend. “michael, you can’t just run from your problems. and running away to some other country ain’t gonna solve anything. if i remember correctly, he’s wealthy yeah? he could easily pop in wherever you decide to go next anyway. then what’re you gonna do? move again?” oliver asked and shook his head. “that’s just insane.” he then took his coffee in hand and took a big drink. “then what’s the problem? are you still in love with him or something?”

☁︎

who knew that in this conversation, the only one who would end up being surprised would be michael? surely not him. “what?” he had no idea that other people knew. “it’s not cute, it’s pathetic. god, i bet everyone fucking made fun of me, didn’t they? i fucking know i would’ve.” it’s not like he didn’t know damien was out of his league; he was always well aware of how unrealistic his desires were, but he hated the thought of other people knowing too, and thinking the poor sucker believed he had a chance when he didn’t. “no, but, look, this is just a coincidence. there’s like, i don’t know, a billion towns in the world. yeah, it’s a freaky coincidence that he found me here, but what are the odds he would again unless he was looking for me? and he won’t be looking for me.” he’d really thought this through. it made sense to him. “i’ve always liked traveling. i could just move again, yeah, see the world.” he felt an idea coming on. “i could just... not settle down anywhere. i could stay on the move, like a nomad. go everywhere. you could collect the postcards i’d send you.” he was joking though, at least for that nomad living bit. “i didn’t think i was,” he replied, then quickly corrected himself. “i don’t think i am.” he wasn’t too convinced, but hopefully oliver would be. “he’s just very... unavoidable to me. i know running away doesn’t fix me, but at least it keeps him away.” 

✿

“phenomenal?” oliver repeated and had a smile on his face as he said it. “so what’s your best dance move? your go to, your number one. are we talking a fox trot? a salsa?” from the looks of it this guy’s go to seemed like it might have been the sprinkler. and oliver knew he shouldn’t be judging someone by their cover, but he couldn’t help himself sometimes. especially when it came to guys that were trying to chat him up like andrew was. “really? i’ve been a couple of times, it’s really fun. there’s no other feeling in the world like it really.” oliver went on. “so i guess this means i have to tell you my name then huh?” oliver asked and then shrugged. “fair is fair. i’m michael.” he said without one single ounce of hesitation and stretched his hand out for the other man to take hold of. “not mike though.”

☺︎

"i think tango’s my forté, but if i had to pick my favorite it might be bachata.” of course, he wasn’t pulling out the professional dance moves if he simply went out clubbing or out to dance with a date, but he had rhythm, and definitely could dance. white boys can surprise you sometimes. “i’ve just never gotten around to trying it, but it’s on the list. i’ve bungee jumped, though. which is not the same thing but, you know, also a cool feeling. “michael,” he repeated, shaking his hand. “you don’t look like a michael.” he was expecting something a lot less common that, maybe even foreign or exotic. he supposed the guy couldn’t be 100% exciting, though, right? something about him had to be average. “you know what, michael? just cause you’ve been such a good sport, i will go over to that guy and try my pickup lines on him, just for your amusement. i’ll let you buy me a drink meanwhile.” he walked over to the older gentleman oliver had pointed out to earlier and chatted him up a bit. the guy was eating it up. suddenly, drew pointed straight at oliver, and the other man nodded and smiled. andrew had to get his own amusement too. they exchanged a few more words and pleasantries, and drew returned to ollie. “so, i told him you and i were looking for a third in the bedroom for the night.”

when michael called oliver, he’d been in the middle of a shift - but the billionaire didn’t need the money, so he just walked out on shift and called it a day. if he didn’t have a job tomorrow, oh well. it wasn’t like he couldn’t do something else to occupy his time with. who knew, maybe he’d even find another sugar daddy to pass the time with. or at least someone a little older that could actually pick at his mind. so ollie grabbed a few coffees on his way out, a couple of cheese danishes and chocolate scones and he was on his way to his apartment. when the man arrived, ollie made his way to the bedroom and sat down, handing over a coffee and a chocolate scone, ollie sat at the end of the bed. “you mean your hot irish sugar daddy? no, not at all. why?” ollie asked before taking a sip of his coffee and then began tearing into the danish that he had picking it piece by piece. then came the confession, and oliver just looked at michael with a deadpan look and said, “oh my god what? in love? with damien? oh my god, no. say it’s not true. please tell me it isn’t true!” he said, maybe a bit dramatically. because everyone and their mother knew that michael loved damien, but everyone in the world could also see that damien wasn’t feeling the same way.

☁

michael was picking at the scone, though he was eating none of it. damien had interrupted breakfast that morning, and he hadn’t eaten all day, but he felt like he would just throw up if he did. “ex sugar daddy,” he clears up, as if it made a difference. “and don’t call him hot.” he added sternly. michael is too caught up in his own feelings to pick the obvious sarcasm in his friend’s reply, so he just shrugs. “i know. i fucking know, okay? you don’t have to tell me,” he shook his head. “i just came home from the hospital and looked at flights out. i figured a destination would just call my name, and i could start over somewhere where he’s not.” yeah, it was that bad. it always, always had been. “then, you know, i realized i’d have to study again to get certifications to practice in another country—unless i go somewhere very third world. i thought south america but mi español es muy rusty.” he paused. “oh, and i can’t just leave my boyfriend.” his boyfriend, who clearly wasn’t an afterthought in all of this. “i’m sure he’d come with me if i wanted to leave, but it just feels mean to uproot his life.” he stops to think about damien again. “i just don’t think i can do this. i can try to avoid him as much as i can, i suppose, but that’s... that’s not the problem.”

★

damien knew that the two of them weren’t destined to last forever; damien had far too many things going on in his life, he had far too many extra boys that he rang up when he was out of the country, and he knew michael wasn’t the biggest fan of it. but the two of them made an agreement, this was simply business. there were no feelings to be made, there was no falling in love and living that fairytale dream that so many people died to have. but the older man couldn’t lie to himself - or anyone really - that it hurt him when michael just up and ghosted him. without a word, without a single call or text to let damien know he was alright. damien wasn’t sure if michael was dead or alive, but he supposed the man wasn’t his problem anymore. but his curiosity still struck here and there. if he was okay, if he was alive. he wondered if he was alive what he was up to, if he ever fell through with his school career and started working with animals like he had wanted to and studied for for years. 

“yeah? and how’re you gonna drive with a bloody hand? you gotta keep pressure on it and you can’t do that if you got one hand on the wheel and one in your lap, i’m just sayin’.” damien said and shrugged his shoulders some. “you need to be taken to emergency care, let them get it handled and stitched up right. i’m assuming work is at a vet’s office, and you need a doctor that patches up humans, not pooches.”

✿

michael couldn’t even look at damien without feeling horrible and, at the same time, he also couldn’t look away. it was his choice to leave, but it felt like the only thing to do at the time. it wasn’t an elaborate plan or a feeling that had been building up over time, it was a panicked rash decision that his cloudy judgment convinced michael of making. he packed his bags in a rush, well aware that whatever he forgot, he couldn’t come back to retrieve, he left a note, and vanished. he knew damien could find him if he really wanted to—he had the resources. and he was definitely hoping that he would. in hindsight, he shouldn’t have written the note on a napkin that the maid could toss, or that any draft could send flying behind a counter never to be seen again. michael didn’t know damien had never read it, but it wasn’t like that piece of paper would’ve provided the older man with too many answers, anyway.

sorry for leaving like this,  but i can’t do goodbyes with you yours forever, michael xx

"i can drive if i bandage it. it won’t hold up and i do need stitches but it’ll do til i get to the hospital. or to work.” just because the very sight of damien had sent him into a frenzy, caused him a medical emergency, and was currently making him so nauseous he felt like he was about to throw up in damien’s italian leather shoes didn’t mean he couldn’t take care of himself. he always had, after all, except for that brief period of time he’d let damien do it for him. “i’ll have you know my boss is a very good vet. 2017 vet of the year award, in fact.” he pauses. he doesn’t know what he’s gonna do yet, but he’ll think better when damien’s gone... maybe. so he starts walking to his car, hoping that’ll push the older man away. “well, it was nice to see you!” he calls out before he fumbles with his keys. god, his left hand is so fucking useless, he’s come to learn.

Finn nods, frowning at the mysterious tone of Michael’s comment. Was his uncle really that bad? Finn was hoping he wouldn’t have to find out firsthand if he was. Finn lets out a carefree laugh at Michael’s trick, folding his arms across his chest. “Okay you’ve been holding out on me. That was, that was great. You have a future.” Finn tilts his head to the side, humming quietly as he thought about his movie choices. “Babadook, definitely,” he finally said. “I don’t know if you’d want to watch slasher movies with me because I just spend the entire time yelling at the characters for being so stupid,” he shrugs. “But I also get jump-scared easily, so, pick your poison.” Finn smiles, running a few fingers through his chestnut locks. “Yeah, for sure.”

“Oh,” Finn mutters, surprised by Michael’s answer. He couldn’t believe the bluntness in the other male’s tone when he talked about his uncle and his less than savory lifestyle and career. “So you’re alone a lot of the time? Don’t you get lonely?” He raises an eyebrow, frowning a bit. Finn was used to be alone in his room for hours at a time, but he always had his family in the same house as him. He couldn’t imagine being completely alone, most of the time. “What magic?” He asks, completely oblivious to what the other male is insinuating. “Hmm maybe something spooky?” He smiles softly, glancing around Michael’s room. “You have almost as many books as I do,” he chuckles, sitting on Michael’s bed for a minute. 

“not really. i mean, he’s here a lot the rest of the time, y’know? he just goes off every now and then.” he replies. “sometimes i do get lonely, but i can’t decide if that’s better than when he’s around.” they didn’t always get along, and michael disapproved of a lot of the older man’s choices, which in turn made him react immaturely just to piss michael off. it could get a little toxic at times. he rolls his eyes lightly when finn asks about the magic. was he really that innocent? “oh, like, you know, watch this.” he grabs a little rag, and then shows off a little magic trick with an apple. he definitely didn’t seem the type of geeky guy to know tricks like this, but he’d had a magician phase in middle school. gotta pass the time somehow, right? “hmm... the babadook? or something slashier?” he asks. “you gotta give me a bookshelf tour sometime.”

Finn fiddles with his hands while he waits for Michael to return to the room. He smiles when Michael re-enters the room. “Oh, is he out of town for work?” Finn asks, innocently, taking the glass of water from the other male.”Is he gone often?” Finn hopes that he’s not inquiring about too much. He sips it slowly, almost choking on his water. “Uh yeah, sure,” Finn stands up and follows Michael to his room. He thinks it seems innocent enough. 

"yeah, maybe," he replies. though of course, if it was work, it was definitely something less than legal. "either that or a drug binge, we'll see when he gets back." it was a little blunt, but he felt like he could trust finn, like he wouldn't go off and tell someone else what was confided to him. "i don't know, depends what you'd consider to be often. every couple months, maybe?" he answers. they go out to his bedroom, that's actually a lot tidier than the rest of the apartment. it's michael's space. there's some drawings on the walls that he's made, a little desk by the window with books and old art supplies, a tiny closet, and his bed. "this is where the magic happens, i guess. i've got a couple old dvd's... what are you in the mood for?" he did invite him over for a movie, after all, even if it was the last thing he cared about.

“Tighter?” Finn asks, cheeks warm with bashfulness. He holds Michael tighter around the waist, not used to being this close to someone he had recently met. He enjoys the short ride, smiling to himself on the way. When they arrive at Michael’s place, Finn’s surprised by the quick kiss the other initiates but kisses him back, sweetly. He runs his fingers through his hair, trying to fix it. Finn notices the messiness of the apartment, but bites his tongue to not comment on it, because he knew it wasn’t his place. He knew not everyone was a neat freak like himself. He shakes his head, taking a seat on the couch. “Maybe just a glass of water?” Finn says, smiling softly.

☁︎

Finn follows Michael, not expecting him to have a motorcycle. He tentatively takes the helmet and puts it on. He’s cautious because he knows his mother would freak out if she saw him on the back of a motorcycle. However, Finn’s feeling a bit adventurous, so he gets on the back of the motorcycle, and situates himself behind Michael. He wraps his arms around the other male’s waist, and hums quietly. “I’ve never been on a motorcycle before, but that’s probably obvious,” he says, chuckling.

☁︎

“It was uh..It was just about how a wallflower and how much he notices about other people when he’s just sitting on a park bench, observing. It’s nothing special, really,” Finn says, trying to brush it off. He had really based the poem off of himself and his own experiences with being a loner, but he guessed that Michael probably could surmise that. “That’s good advice,” Finn says, nudging Michael gently. “Thank you.” He gulps, not expecting the other male’s offer. Finn knew that it was probably better if they didn’t kiss right there in the courtyard, with everyone around them. He nodded, trying not to seem too eager. “Yeah, sure,” he says, grabbing his backpack. He sends a quick text to his mom, letting her know he’ll be home later. He doesn’t check for her response, just shoves his phone into his pocket.

☁︎

𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢'𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ↳ aka a lovey dovey moodboard ft. @finncoops​

𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢'𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ↳ aka a lovey dovey moodboard ft. @finncoops​

𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐨𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐫 ↳ aka a micholi besties moodboard ft. @cliverkingsley​​