𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐙𝐀𝐊 𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐑

My mother  ,  she told me “  Don't get in trouble  ” My father  ,  he told me He knew I would

My brothers  ,  they told me “  Don't give a damn  ” My sister  ,  she told me To do something good

I'm uncontrollable  ,  emotional  ,  chaotically proportional I'm visceral  ,  re-loadable I'm crazy  ,  I'm crazy  ,  I'm crazy  ,  I'm crazy

Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted  ,  twisted

My mother  ,  she told me “  Don't be a quitter  ” My father  ,  he told me He knew I was

⇀‌‌‌‌  𝐙𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐙𝐀𝐊: 

          it’s something he’s fond of    ;    she learned this even before his downfall    .    &&.    though it took some time to put together    ,    knowing his reaction made the effort on her part all the more worthwhile    .    porters had a bad habit of losing cargo    —    medical supplies    ,    food    ,    books    .    if they needed it    —    with a little digging    ,    it wasn’t hard to come by    .    he’s sleeping now    ,    it gives her a good opportunity to give his gift its finishing touches before leaving to meet up with david in the medical wing    .    waiting for him    ,    on the table sits a journal    :    inscribed along the inner lining of the cover    —    your future holds so much promise    :    that all the past pales in comparison    .    that said    ,    it’s time to make new memories    .    you have my support    ,    respect    &&.    deepest love    .     &&.    remember    ,    no matter what    —    i will always be there for you    .

          yours    ,    zofia    .

⇀  𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐇𝐀𝐍: 

          having read the inscription for the fifth time    ,    higgs could only stroke the spine of the journal    ,    now closed    ,    thoughts idling on how he could have been so lucky    ;    fortune had favored him despite everything    .    it felt like cheating    ,     really    .    like maybe this wasn’t his to have    &&.    he was perhaps holding onto this precious thing until someone better came along    .    these were things already gently touched on    ,    though    ,    as zofia had already said her peace on the matter    .    higgs would never understand her decision but it was just like zofia    :    her heart was always in a good place    ,    tact notwithstanding    . 

          cracking open the journal again after having stared at it for some time    ,    he flipped to the first fresh page    &&.    pushed pen to paper    :    she isn’t here right now    ,    &&.    i suspect she intended to be away for this    .    it is quite personal    ,    the gift    &&.    heartfelt message    .    this almost closeted affection is very like her    —    like us    .    she continues to find ways to make me wonder about her    ,     &&.    of course i mean that in the best way possible    .    it continues to make me wonder why    ,    though    .    to this day    .    she’ll always disagree when i say it    ,    so i don’t even bother saying it aloud anymore but    ,    i don’t deserve her    .     it’s hard to feel like i do when i know what i’ve put her through    .    call it guilt    .    my feeling of joy is always caught in this under-toe of doubt while waves of iniquity wash over me until i’m near drowning    . 

          still    ,     she is my rock    &&.    i’m thankful for her tenacity    .    or rather    ,    her stubbornness    .    i wouldn’t be here today in the way that i am were it not for her    .    if nothing else    ,    i am grateful    . 

Talking to the mirror like I’ve seen them somewhere before You said I look familiar Did we meet the other night  ?

Somebody once told me that there’s two sides to life What’s yours  ? I might have accidentally let the darkness eat the light And that’s why

I prayed  ,  I prayed God sent me right to voicemail It’s like all day My vanity is for sale Take it away My head is in my own Hell

Sing to me I am not doing well Getting tired of my own words Sing to me ‘Cause I can’t hear myself Through the loudness of my own words Call me selfish when I say this  ,  say this I’m kind of helpless and I need you Sing to me ‘Cause I’m not doing well