hyun @xiihyunn - Tumblr Blog

Nov 5, 2025

'Cause You Have To (+18)

Baby, tell me the truth Do you only love me 'cause you have to?

G!P Lara Raj x fem!reader angst + smut

summary: being blinded by love, you struggle to cope with a sudden break up. with your head pounding, and body sweating—was alcohol the solution to mend the ache in your restless heart? or a woman who would do everything just for you?

warning: toxic!daniela, verymean!daniela, dumb/loser!r, hopelessromantic!r, yearner!lara, cheating, nasty break up, alcohol, intoxication, denied sex, fighting, friends to lovers. dom but soft!lara, sub and whinny!r, dacryphilia, overstimulation, creampie, biting/marking. look, i don't really want to spoil too much of the plot—you just have to read it.

ⓘ slow burn - heavy angst - vanilla to nasty sex

word count: 13.5k (it's worth it)

a/n: i was supposed to upload this on lara's birthday, but since there was a conflict in my schedule i apologise for the late post. this is a heavy one! but regardless, enjoy :)

The night was quiet. The soft echoing glow of the moon lit up the cities below it, and everything was how it is. You laid there in your bed softly sleeping under the moonlight, your breaths calm and steady as time slowly passed by. You shift a bit, wanting to sleep in another position. There was an aching feeling in your body, and it demanded to move itself even just a bit. Unconsciously, you stretched out your arm to the other side of the bed, resting your limb on the mattress.

For a while you found comfort again, there wasn’t an uncomfortable ache in your body anymore, you could finally drift back to dream land yet something woke you up. You lift your head up as the lid of your eyes opens, adjusting to the dark room–your gaze landed on the empty spot beside you. Seemingly confused and still out of it, you forced yourself to sit up. Checking the untouched part of the mattress, you grabbed your phone and dialed a number.

You placed the phone on your ear, and you can’t help but close your eyes once more. Your body is telling you to continue sleeping, but your mind tells you to call your girlfriend. After what seemed like a minute, nobody picked up–and you tried once again. You take a deep breath, trying your best not to fall asleep. And then a voice finally spoke.

“Baby?” The other end said, you noticed how tired it sounded. “Dani, where are you? Why aren’t you home yet?” Your voice was hoarse but faint, and your vocal cords were still adjusting to the sudden activity of speaking. There was a short pause before your girlfriend Daniela spoke again. “I’m still in the dance studio.” There was a puzzled look on your face, and you turned your head to look at the clock in the walls of your shared room together.

3:06 AM

“It’s already late, Dani. Please come home and get some rest.” Your words were delicate, filled with worry for your girlfriend’s health. It wasn’t new to you that Daniela’s schedule was packed, you know it’s never easy to be an Idol in this time of age. There are times where she can’t go home for days– weeks even if they’re in promotion. Despite this you supported her all through it, never questioning, never complaining. You accepted the busy lifestyle because that was one of the parts of who Daniela was.

There was a muffled sound on the other end. Your ears were not processing what the noise was, but before they could, Daniela replied. “I w-won’t be going home tonight.” Her voice was raspy and dry, though the reply was only brief, it took her a while to say those words to you. You let out a small sigh and nodded alone in the room. “Okay, but please rest when you can, okay? Don’t overwork yourself like you always do.”

The anxious feeling never left after you told her. You laid in bed again while hearing shuffling sounds and background music. There was another pause, “Y-Yeah, okay bye.” The call ended but you didn’t remove the phone on your ear. You felt your heart tug while swallowing something in your throat.

“Bye,” Now it was your turn to pause. “I love you...”

–

“Oh fuck, yes, just like that.” A throaty moan bounced across the room, it echoed until the background music synced with it perfectly– covering the filthy wet slapping noises that were rough with each thrust. “I can’t believe you made me do that.” Before a response, another sick and loud moan was heard. Daniela felt the cock hit the spot inside of her as the man angled a new position, perfectly slamming where it felt like heaven.

“I can’t let your girlfriend miss out on the fun, princess.”

Daniela gripped the headboard for dear life. The man’s thrust was merciless, never letting her hips meet his dick–He was doing all the work, and she loved it. The sounds coming out of her pussy made Daniela’s head spin as she bit her lip with her eyes closed and eyebrows twisting in pleasure. She let out a giggle while turning her head back to the man behind her, seeing his hands grip her waist.

“You’re fucking sick.”

–

Groaning as you leave the lecture hall, you can’t help but feel annoyed. The universe didn’t seem to like you today– professors were handing out multiple tasks, and major projects left and right like it was paperweights, your head can barely cover up all the topics yet there you were being buried in school works.

You decided to not let the overbearing thoughts consume you. You walked towards a familiar cafe across your university, you had grown a custom to always buy your coffee there and this day wasn’t so different. Opening the glass doors, you were greeted with a scent of freshly baked pastries, and of course, coffee.

Walking your way up to the counter, you already knew what you wanted to order, but at the last minute a sudden thought comes to you. The perfect beige color of their pastries along with the delicious smell, gave your lips a soft smile.

Daniela would love these.

“Hello, would you like your regular?” The female barista gave you an enthusiastic smile while she was writing your usual order in her small piece of paper. You were known enough by the staff because of how often you come here. You gave her a nod before saying, “Can I also have 2 of these please?” You pointed to a piece of bread with something sweet looking frosting on the top of it behind their glass container.

“Sure! That would be 24. 63 in total.”

You exit the cafe with your to go coffee and a cute box filled with the pastries. Breathing a sigh of relief, you felt a small weight lift off of your shoulder. After a long and tiring day, you couldn’t wait to go home and rest. The call last night with your girlfriend though, didn’t leave your mind. There was something on your stomach that just didn’t sit quite right with you, but now that you were going home–you thought about just talking to Daniela there.

Your feet landed on your front porch. You took out our keys and inserted them in the key hole, turning the door knob open was a bit of a struggle because of the coffee and pastries in your hand–but you managed to get inside of you and Daniela’s home safely.

You placed the items in your hand onto the table as you noticed that the house you left, finally had life in it. Daniela was back, and your sour mood earlier just vanished and was replaced with warmth. You quickly walked towards the living room only to see a confusing sight.

“You’re going on tour? I thought you guys were still practicing for a new comeback?” The question lingered in the air like dust, Daniela looked at you with a disdained look in her eyes. The look that she gave you was enough for your heart to suddenly beat rapidly–not by excitement, but by thousands of thoughts running inside your head trying to make sense of the situation.

The bags and luggages didn’t seem like they held clothes that would last for a promotion outside the country, but rather held all the personal belongings of her girlfriend. “Wait, where are you going?” Your words come faster than they should be, but the pit in your stomach is telling you to ask for more questions, desperate to be at ease.

Daniela’s eyes only stared at you for a moment before her hands reached to grab the handle of one of her luggages, she took a couple steps heading towards the front door but you quickly got yourself in front of her trying to find answers. You grabbed Daniela’s hand, trying to find the warmth that both of you once had. But just like her expression while looking down at you, they were cold.

Your eyes looked at her–begging and pleading. The words were stuck in your throat, you wanted to ask her again and again, but nothing came out. Each silent plea was loud enough to fill the whole room with nothing but empty unsaid words. Daniela shook her arm away from you, “Let’s break up.”

Her words were sharp and final. You didn’t have enough time to register her words before Daniela walked towards the front door again–leaving behind the one person she always promised to take care of. Without thinking you grabbed her hands once more, hot tears beginning to trail down your cheeks. You didn’t understand why this was happening, why was Daniela leaving.

“What happened?” The question that left you sounded desperate, small yet weighted everything you’ve wanted to ask. Daniela looked back at you, “I met someone.” A breath was knocked out of your lungs. Her words that echoed in the house that was once her home, now echoed in the depths of your mind and heart. Daniela’s words were simple, they answered the suspicion you’ve had for the longest time.

You felt something in your heart hearing the way Daniela said it– just raw and was filled with honesty. There was someone else, and that was it.

“Daniela, no..” You rushed yourself to face her once more, “That’s not true, please tell me that’s not true..” Your breaths became rapid, and you tried to cup her face only for her to slap your hands away from touching her. “It’s true, and I’m breaking up with you.” Daniela’s voice gradually grew louder in each protest you did. “You were nothing more but a toy for me to play with, an experiment for me to taste. Let me fucking go.”

Daniela tried to reach the front door again, but you hugged her from the back. “Daniela please don’t do this, I know that’s not true!” The sobs that left your mouth was pathetic to hear, “You’re not r-really leaving me, right..? Please tell me this is a joke..” Daniela sighed in annoyance and tried to get your arms off of her waist. But you refused to let her go–trying to cling onto the woman you love.

It took everything before Daniela finally got your embrace off of her. She pushed you back, enough to leave you stunned. “I’m not fucking gay alright? I don’t like women, I like men!” You stood there, your feet unable to move. Memories of every single moment you’ve had with her, flashing over and over again–replaying in your head.

“I like men.”

As if it wasn’t enough, Daniela spat those words slowly to you–making sure you understood each syllable that came out her mouth. “Please don’t leave…” You shook your head at her, not accepting. You reached out to her arm, “Please don’t leave, Dani…” You repeated Daniela’s name over and over again with a cracking voice. Each name carries the weight of your desperation.

You were about to hug her when she pushed you to the ground. Daniela’s action left you sobbing on the floor, “Daniela, p-please don’t leave me!” She didn’t look at you. She grabbed her luggage and walked towards the door. In your final attempt to make Daniela stay, you tried to reach out for her luggage with your aching wrist, “D-Daniela..!”

But Daniela never looked back. She reached the front door, and left.

Your blurry vision stared at the disappearing figure of Daniela. Your throaty sobs filled the house, your raging breaths choked you. You couldn't stop crying, you couldn’t stop the tears from spilling out. You stayed there on the floor, not knowing what to do.

Your head became dizzy, and you felt your throat tightening up. You tried to cough it out, but only made things worse. Something heavy felt like it was pushing against your chest, and each inhale felt like drowning. You tried to take a deep breath–but you couldn’t breathe.

Your eyelids were slowly moving down and you saw someone rushing inside your house. The person grabbed you, shaking your body. “Breathe Y/n! Breathe!” Was all you heard before passing out.

–

You felt your brain throbbing inside your skull. You shifted a bit before feeling a soft material all over your body, as you slowly opened your eyes. You stared at the familiar ceiling trying to recall what happened. Your whole body felt weak, and your breathing was slow.

You looked down at yourself before realizing that you were in your own room, tucked inside your blanket. You wanted to sit up but before you could, your bedroom door opened and Lara stepped inside holding a tray in her hand.

Lara looked at your awake state with surprise in her eyes and a mix of worry. She walked up to you and you tried to sit up, but your state made it hard for you to do so–Lara quickly helped you sit up on your headboard, “Slowly.” Her words were careful.

A groan left your lips, and you breathe out slowly. “Lara..? What happened?” Your voice came out almost like a whisper. “I saw your door wide open and I thought you were in danger. I saw you having a panic attack on the floor once I got in.” Lara said slowly, “How are you feeling, Y/n?”

You didn’t know what to say. You sat there not knowing what to tell her. Everything still felt blurry and hazy, and the stinging feeling in your heart was still there. You didn’t know what to feel, and how you were going to tell Lara that.

You replayed the moment Daniela walked out the door, and tears began swelling. You only looked at Lara for a moment, and that was all Lara needed before pulling you into a hug. “What happened?” She asked you carefully, not wanting to force you to tell her anything–but enough to let you know that she was listening.

You sobbed on her shoulder, staining her shirt with your tears but Lara didn’t mind. She slowly rubbed your back, and soothed you. “It’s okay, just cry it out for as long as you want to.” A part of her wanted to ask where Daniela was, but something inside tells her not to. You tighten your hug around her, and she said, “I’m right here, don’t worry.”

The words were caught up in your throat. Lara was Daniela’s friend–how can you tell her something so heartbreaking? But the ache in your heart never eased itself, and with a small voice you told Lara. “She broke up with me.” Your voice caught Lara off guard, you sounded so worn down.

“D-Daniela broke u-up with me…” Lara didn’t say anything but just continued to caress your back. “She s-said she wasn’t gay, and she was only e-experimenting on me…” The way you sounded so broken because of Daniela made her blood boil in anger. She never imagined that Daniela would ever do this to you, leaving you on the floor heartbroken and gasping for air.

You bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from crying so much. You felt so exposed and vulnerable in front of Lara. Though you only met her after being together with Daniela, undeniably she became one of your closest friends. But that didn’t help with how embarrassed and pathetic you felt being like this in front of her.

Sensing you trying to bite down your emotions, Lara pulled you up to face her. You looked down, too scared to look her in the eye with yours. Lara wiped your tears and fixed your hair, “You don’t have to tell me everything if you’re not ready yet,” She grabbed your chin and lifted it up to make you look at her, “I’m always here if you need me, okay?” The way Lara said it made you tear up again.

“Okay…” You answered in a small voice, and Lara gave you a small smile. “Can we watch a movie?” Your voice sounded like a whisper, but Lara heard you just fine. Lara was uncertain on what to answer you, you had just got heartbroken and just recovered from a panic attack because of it. She debated if it was better for you to watch the movie or rest, but then you continued, “It always helps me whenever I feel sad, please?”

Your voice pleaded with her, and that was all Lara needed before nodding, “Okay, let’s go downstairs?” “Sure.” Both of you went down to the living room with Lara staying right beside you in case your body would betray you again. You sat on the couch, refusing to face the spot where Daniela did what she did.

You opened Netflix and turned to play your favorite movie. Lara sat beside you and chucked, “Scream? This helps you in not being sad?” There was a playful tone in Lara’s voice, and that made you smile a bit. “The franchise is good, alright?” You snarled at her while the corner of your lips went upward. Lara threw her hands in the air in surrender, “Whatever rocks your boat, Y/n.”

The movie was already half way through, yet you were just sitting there not paying attention. Your thoughts were filled with the voice of Daniela, they were ringing in your ear like a broken record–and you didn’t know how to make it stop. Without noticing, your tears fell once more.

The heavy feeling in your heart choked you, and it once more made you breathless. You heard Lara’s voice but it felt far and distant, you felt yourself slipping away from reality. “Y/n, I want you to take a deep breath. In and out, in and out.” You snap away from disassociating and meet Lara’s eyes.

“Follow my breathing, can you do that for me?” Her voice was filled with patience, yet it was only masking how worried Lara actually was. You nodded, then began following the way Lara’s shoulders went up and down. Slowly but surely, your breathing became normal again–and you immediately pulled Lara into another hug.

“I don’t know what I did w-wrong… I thought we were o-okay.” Lara hugged your figure with care. Caressing your hair, listening to your sobs. “Last n-night, I woke up without her sleeping beside m-me… Dani told me that she was still in the studio practicing…” That made Lara close her eyes in anger.

They didn’t have anything scheduled yesterday.

“Sh-e was so dismissive on the call when I told her to come back h-home… And then the next thing I knew–she-she was standing in front of me holding her luggage, telling me she met someone new–” You couldn't finish your sentence before choking in your own cries. “Take your time, don’t worry.” Lara assured you.

“She told me–D-Daniela told me–” The memory flashed in your head again, but you couldn’t say anything. The pain in your chest travelled all the way to your lips, refusing to let itself be heard. So you sat there in Lara’s arms, your cries bouncing in each corner of the room. Lara didn’t say anything, but the way she was spooning you in her arms was loud enough to let you know that you weren’t alone.

And that was all you needed.

–

Weeks went by and Lara never left your side. She took care of you–took care of the parts that needed to be taken care of. Soft in the spots where you needed her to be, and gentle in the moments that required tenderness.

But Lara couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t take how much Daniela had shattered someone who was the meaning of life itself. She couldn’t bear the thought of you crying in the middle of the night once more, all because someone decided at the last minute–when they were in too deep–that they were straight.

Lara hated seeing you so wrecked over a girl who wouldn’t do anything for you. Someone so shallow of a person, and allowed you to feel this damage–because if you were Lara’s girlfriend, she would have never done that.

You were all Lara wanted. In your own ways, you knew how to get her attention. Unintentionally or not, her eyes would always linger longer in yours–lost in the depth of endless admiration. At a distance, Lara knew by heart the patterns on your face, the habits that made you who you are, the curve of your eyes when you smiled, and the unpretentious righteousness of your soul.

Yet again–everything was from a distance. Lara was always there, but never enough to be a part of your world. She had long desired to be close to you, close in the way you never saw her to be. But for Lara, being your friend was more than enough. She could still be there–just enough to show you that she cares.

And maybe that’s why Lara found herself stepping inside your house once more. Plastic bags in her hand, she sets them down on the kitchen table. Lara grabbed plates and bowls, and unwrapped the plastic bags to plate the food.

After a few minutes, the food in the kitchen was ready. Lara went up stairs on the way to your room, in the past couple of weeks she was able to make you smile again just like before. Though for sure it’s not easy mending a broken heart–at least you were finally owning your smile again.

Slowly but surely, Lara wanted you to give you your spark back. She wanted to give you the piece of yourself that had left with Daniela, maybe not as a whole–but it was something. Lara reached for your bedroom door and opened it, and an unpleasant sight made her stomach flip in discomfort.

There you were sitting on the floor with your back against the wall, slumped down with empty bottles and bottles of different alcohol surrounding you. Your body was trembling in each gasp of air you let out, your face wet and puffy from all the tears streaming down your face.

Lara immediately went to your side, “Oh Y/n…” She whispered. Lara grabbed the glass filled alcohol in your hand, and set it aside. Your cries only grew louder as you clutched on her arm, “L-Lara…” Your voice was slurred, almost incoherent. “I should have k-known..I should have known, fuck..” Your eyes never met hers, but Lara looked at you with pain in her eyes.

Lara knew you were the type of girl who never touched alcohol in her life, no matter how bad it really gets. You never allowed yourself to drink, yet alone curse–but your actions and your words tore something inside her.

Lara fuming in anger, not at you–oh god, never at you.

The feeling was directed towards someone who left you like this.

You clutched your chest, where your heart was–holding onto it like crushing yourself would make the pain go away. “She told me I was j-just a t-toy, an experiment she wanted to t-taste..” Lara’s jaw clenched, but she grabbed your chin pulling it up to look at her. “Whatever Daniela said to you, that doesn’t define who you are.” Lara said in a low voice.

You stared in her eyes in tears, “Maybe she’s right.” you mumbled. “Don’t,” Lara’s voice was sharp, and you found yourself feeling small again. “Don’t let those negative feelings get to you. Y/n, you are such an incredible girl, and that’s on Daniela if she’s too blind to see that, and too dumb to let someone like you go.”

You hated how Lara’s voice wasn’t soft anymore, “Why are you scolding me?” Lara sighed and softened her voice. She thought she might have scared you with her tone, “I’m not scolding you. I just want you to know that a person’s words aren't always everything, especially when it hurts you.” You didn’t say anything, your mind still foggy and intoxicated.

You felt your eyelids close, and Lara’s worried face was all you saw before passing out in her arms from exhaustion. Lara didn’t complain, she carried your figure bridal style and laid you properly in your bed. She cleaned the bottles on the floor and threw them away, and she went into the bathroom to grab a damp towel then went beside you to place it on your forehead.

“If only I could take all the pain that you’re feeling, I would do it without hesitation.” Lara sat on your bed and stroked your cheek gently. She looked at your sleeping state, “You deserve someone way better than this, Y/n.” Lara slowly went up to your face, and kissed your temple, “Someone like me.”

–

Your loud laugh echoed throughout Lara’s car, “Okay so let me get this straight–Manon and Megan decided to prank call you saying Manon passed out again while you were having a meltdown about your thesis?” It was late at night when Lara asked you out to drive around the city in her car, and you not wanting to drown yourself any further with how you feel–you take up with the girl’s offer

“Oh my god, yes! I was so pissed, and actually ended up tearing up because of how frustrated I was!” Lara said, she was smiling and shaking her head while driving. Both of you had been on the road for more than an hour, just talking about anything and laughing about everything.

It was more than a month already of Lara taking care of you, and though you weren’t at your 100% yet–everything was starting to look better. “I can’t imagine how overstimulated you must’ve been. I’m currently working on my thesis as well, and I feel like crying everyday because of it.” You smiled and stared at the road lights ahead of you, and Lara groaned in approval.

“See, you get it. Imagine already fighting for your life trying to get your degree, and some dickheads decided it was funny to prank call me.” You only laughed at what Lara said, and nodded. A comfortable silence soon followed the both of you, and the only noise was the engine of Lara’s car driving on the quiet road.

You looked out the window and your gaze landed on the city lights illuminating in the dark. For once, you felt yourself being at peace after what happened. You felt at ease knowing that there was still more to life than just crying over a girl who was never sure of you in the first place.

It was painful, of course it was–but the way you notice that you are still deserving of good things in life, was another reason for you to keep going. And it was all thanks to the woman beside you driving, Lara. You slowly moved your head and looked at her driving figure, Lara was humming a song while her eyes were focused on the road.

Lara had never left you ever since the day you thought everything was over. She showed you that there are still good things in this world worth living for, and maybe that was all you needed at the moment. You stared at Lara, not noticing the familiar flutter in your heart.

Lara’s eyes met yours, and you felt it. Something emerging in the shadows behind your chest. Something was blossoming inside of you, like a flower finally blooming its colors after seeing the sun for the longest time. “Yes?” Was Lara’s voice always this soft? You wondered.

“N-Nothing, I was just thinking about something.” The words came out quickly before snapping your head back to face the window. Lara only chuckled, “Well, I know a spot nearby that you can tell me what your thoughts are all about.” You looked at her and rolled your eyes, “It’s already 1 am, aren’t you sleepy, Raj?” You teased.

“I’m never sleepy when it comes to you, Y/l/n.”

The way Lara said it left you breathless, almost shocked. Was she always like this? Yeah, Lara was. But why now did it have this effect on you? You cleared your throat not knowing what to say, “Yeah whatever.” In the corner of your eyes, you saw Lara smile–you looked away from her, the corner of your lips going upwards as well.

–

“Here we are.” You stared at the city light below you, and the sight of the whole city was captivating. Lara had driven to a spot where your neighborhood, and the city could be seen. “How did you find this place? This looks incredible!” Lara sat down in the grass, and patted the empty space beside her. “I accidentally found it while I was driving around, cool right?” You sat beside her, “You really like driving around late at night, no?” You asked.

“If it isn’t so obvious already, yes I do. It helps me calm down and reflect on my thoughts. It’s not a lot, but it helps.” Lara looked at the view, and you turned to her. “Is that the reason why you keep driving me around the city at this time?” You asked her in curiosity. Lara only gave you a small smile and nodded.

“Yeah, I figured if it works on me, why not try if it works on you too.” Warmth spread across your cheeks, “It did, Larz. Thank you.” Lara gave you a soft ‘no problem’, and silence crept in after. The wind was blowing against the both of you, and you felt yourself getting chills.

“Here.” Lara handed you her jacket. You stared at it for a while, not knowing if you should take it. After all, Lara wasn’t wearing anything that gave her warmth now. “Don’t worry about me, I like the cold air.” As if she had read your mind, your thoughts eased itself–and you grabbed her jacket, wearing it.

The air started to smell like Lara because of her jacket, and it soothed you. I could get used to this, you thought. “Penny for your thoughts?” Lara asked you, breaking your trance-like state. It took you a while, but then you replied, “I was just wondering how the girls are, it’s been a while since I’ve seen them.”

Ever since the breakup happened, you never found yourself visiting the company to see the girls. Undeniably, you had missed the chaotic group–maybe just not one person though. “They miss you, Y/n. They are also wondering how you’re doing after… you know.” After the breakup, it took some days before the girls knew that Daniela broke up with you.

Just like Lara, the girls were very disappointed and angry with Daniela–but still acted professional with her. Last week, Daniela publicly announced that she was getting a hiatus. The girls already knew why, but decided not to question her further. “You can visit the company if you want to, Y/n. She isn’t there at the moment, and you can spend time with the girls while she’s at it.” Lara said.

You sighed, slowly you rested your head on Lara’s shoulders. “I don’t know, Lara.” You hesitantly said. “What if once I see them, I'll just end up breaking down again?” An uneasy feeling crept up your stomach. “You’re scared seeing the girls because it’ll remind you of Daniela?” Lara asked lightly, and you faintly nodded.

“I just don’t want to be reminded of how she made me feel before, someone who was so easy to let go. And even though the girls did nothing wrong, they were still a big part of me and Daniela’s relationship.” Silence followed, but Lara was listening. “I-I’m just…scared.” You said.

“What you have after meeting Daniela even though she’s no longer in your life is still yours, Y/n.” Your pinky inched its way towards hers, you wanted to hold her hand and let her know that you were anxious and was silently begging for the assurance of comfort–but there was uncertainty in your action.

Lara noticed it. Lara noticed the way you were hesitant, and made a bold move. She wrapped her pinky in yours, wordlessly giving you what you wanted. Lara waited, she waited until you moved away from her touch, but you didn’t.

In the stillness of time, Lara spoke, “Y/n,” She said with care, “Don’t let Daniela take away one thing you love the most.” You looked up at Lara, “And what is that?” You mutter. Lara turned to look down at you, and stared into your eyes. In one swift motion, Lara intertwined her hand in yours.

“Yourself.”

Both of your gaze stayed longer than it should have. Lara looked at you, her quiet affection sparkled with something left unspoken. You stared at her, both fascinated yet intrigued–there was something pulling you trying to make you understand.

Has she always looked at me like that?

–

It was another day. You woke up late since you had no classes to take in the morning, you made yourself some breakfast, took a long shower, and watched a movie. It took you some time to adjust to your new life, a life with no Daniela in the picture.

You didn’t know what you were doing at first. You often find yourself not knowing what to do because your body was so used to having someone there, but this time it was finally different. You no longer searched for her in every room you entered, no longer prepared extra plates in the morning, no longer rolled over to her side of the bed–everything was different.

It was a fresh start.

You prepared yourself for your afternoon lecture. Going about your day, you entered campus–reminding yourself that with or without her, you would start your life the way you wanted it to. No more negative thoughts holding you back, no more shallow words defining who you are.

It was strange really. You had gotten so used to making Daniela your world that you barely saw your own. But now things were the opposite, you embraced this time of change–the sudden shift that broke you months before, was the reason for you growing now.

But nothing could prepare you for this.

Walking out of your favorite cafe, you saw her–you saw Daniela. She was in a car driving with someone, it was just a glimpse–just a quick sight of her laughing with someone, but it was enough for you to spiral down once more. Just like a passing shadow, they drove off–gone before you could even blink.

The image of her smiling ear to ear with someone new was embedded in your head. You knew that smile, the curve of her lips were just like how she was with you–before everything. Before the cold replies, the dismissive behaviours–before when Daniela had still loved you.

You thought you were okay, that seeing her like that wouldn’t bring the ache in your heart again–but there you were rushing to get home. You opened your front door and slowly shut it behind you, not a single word came out of your mouth ever since that encounter at the cafe.

You dropped your bag on the floor, and went upstairs. Sitting on your cold floor, you opened the mini fridge beside your nightstand and took out a bottle of alcohol–not even bothering to get a glass, you screwed the lid off and drank straight from the bottle.

Drowning in alcohol felt easier than admitting that maybe you would feel like this forever. That maybe you were really just a toy in everyone’s eyes, that you were pathetic enough to believe that you were someone worth loving.

You sat there crying, but sobs couldn’t be heard. You sat there in silence, gulping the bottle in your hand like there was no tomorrow–tears streaming down endlessly. You felt weak, and almost sorry for yourself for what you’re doing. But you would do anything right now, just to stop your heart from hurting.

–

Lara glanced at her phone for the nth time. She had texted you immediately after your last lecture, wanting to invite you out to eat dinner with her–but you never replied. Something inside her stomach flipped but in a bad way, and Lara grabbed her coat.

“Going to Y/n’s?” Her action made Manon question her, and Lara just nodded with a worried look on her face. “Aren’t you going out to dinner with her? What’s with the long face?” Manon asked. Lara could only sigh as she grabbed her phone, “Y/n isn’t texting me back, she usually does after her lecture. I’m just worried for her.”

“Well damn you clingy bitch, can’t a woman be busy?” Manon laughed while giving the anxious Lara a knowing smirk. Lara flipped her off while tying her shoes, “I don’t play when it comes to Y/n, Manon. I’m serious, what if something happened to her and I’m not there?”

Manon only grinned while scrolling through her phone, “Alright Jesus, just go get your girl already. I can’t stand you being such a lover girl.” Manon shooed Lara off with her hand, and Lara wasted no time in going outside.

Lara kept calling your number but you wouldn’t pick up, that alone made her worry even more. She drove over to your place, and opened your front door. There she saw your bag laying on the floor, seemingly untouched.

Lara made her way over to your bedroom, and there once more she saw you sitting on the floor hunched over your bed with a half empty bottle in your hands. You heard your bedroom door open, and shot your head to the noise. Your head was pounding inside your skull, but all you could focus on was Lara.

“Lara!” Your voice slurred. You stood up, barely realizing that you are and walked towards the concerned woman in front of you. It only took you a couple of steps before stumbling, but Lara reacted fast and caught you just in time before your body collapsed.

“That’s enough, Y/n. No more drinking.” Lara said, she tried taking the bottle in your hand but you quickly avoided her grasps. “Nuh-uh.” You said. You balanced yourself in Lara’s grip, her hands were both on your waist trying to keep you standing, and you looped your forearms around her neck–making Lara face you.

You giggled, finding everything funny. “Y/n, give me the bottle. You’ve already had enough.” Though this didn’t compare to the amount of alcohol you consumed when she found you before, it was enough to make Lara worry again. Her thoughts were raging with questions she wanted to ask you, but decided not to as your health was her main concern at the moment.

“No…” Your voice came out soft and playful, it was like you were trying to play games with the woman in front of you. Lara sighed and gave up, she tried guiding your body slowly to make you lay down on your bed–but you resisted and held her close.

There were dried tears evident on your face, and Lara could only slowly wipe them off of you using her thumb. “I saw Dani today, she was with the guy she replaced me with…” Lara looked at you, and you bit your lip. “It was just a glimpse really, they just happen to drive by.” You brought the bottle to your lips, tilting it to drink more but Lara held onto your hand.

“You can tell me more about it, but you have to give me the bottle.” You ignored how stern Lara’s voice was and continued, “I saw it Lara, I saw the way she smiled at him… saw it was the same way she used to smile at me…” You pulled Lara’s hand away from you, and poured the alcohol down your throat once more.

“Y/n, I said that’s enough!” Lara finally snatched the bottle out of your hand and set it on your night stand. You were too busy hissing at the burning sensation that lingered on your throat to notice your knees buckling from exhaustion. “Lara, am I not enough..?” Your voice broke.

You cupped Lara’s face, “Tell me, am I not someone worth loving?”

If only you knew.

“Y/n, please stop doing this to yourself. Do you know how much it hurts me seeing you like this? Seeing you break yourself over someone who isn’t worth your time?” Lara’s grip on your waist unintentionally hardens. She can’t take this anymore, she can’t bear watching you fall apart for someone who isn’t her.

“Answer me.” That was all you said to Lara. Your heart breaks further, realizing Lara didn’t say anything. Lara was breaking inside, watching your heart ache for someone else. “Wow, you can’t even answer me…” You removed your hands from her face, the room thick and heavy with the silence.

Lara wanted to tell you everything, that you were more than enough–that you were deserving of every good thing in this world–that you deserve the love you so desperately wanted. She wanted to tell you that her heart burns with a love for you so fierce–that it’s spilling out expressing itself each second she’s with you. Her every thought of you, every smile you’ve given her–ignites something inside that is longing and yearning for you to acknowledge it, that it leaves her trembling and breathless all at once–but the words choked in her throat.

“Y/n, you’ve always been enough. You are someone worth loving—not just here, but in every universe that you’ve lived in.” That was all Lara had managed to say, and she cursed at herself for being too shallow–yet something in your eyes flickered.

“Then prove it.”

Lara’s body moved on its own–her hands on your waist pulled you closer, before your lips crashed into hers. The kiss caught you off guard but you melted onto her touch, and your hands found its way to Lara’s shoulders as you felt the warmth of her kiss’s tenderness.

The kiss felt genuine and sincere, no mask, no lies–just truth unfolding itself as time continued turning. You felt that familiar tug in your heart again, and it was something fluttering inside of you–growing into something promising.

Lara slowly broke the kiss. The air was filled with something you didn’t recognize, something thick–like words still left unspoken. The silence between both of you stretched, and each of your eyes lingered in one another.

“Did I prove it to you? Was that enough?” Lara uttered softly under her breath. Her heart beat was hammering inside her chest, and though Lara was a person who was always confident–she isn’t so sure what will happen after this.

But those thoughts quickly disappeared when she saw a small smile appear on your face. You cupped Lara’s cheeks, feeling the softness of her skin–before pulling her into another kiss. “More than enough.” You mumbled against her lips.

Both of your bodies collided. Lara pushed you backwards onto your bed, laying you there slowly while never breaking the kiss. Your head was throbbing, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol making you feel like this or Lara who was showering your lips with soft nibbles.

Lara’s kisses felt delicate. Each kiss that conveyed her feelings that were well hidden behind each friendly conversation–turned into something raw. You felt Lara’s tongue swiping against your lower lip, asking for entrance, and you opened your mouth to let her.

Your fingers entangled itself into Lara’s locks. You kissed her back with the same energy as her fingers slowly inched upwards inside your shirt. You felt Lara’s cold fingers gliding itself on your hot skin–the contrast of temperature igniting chills on your body.

“No more crying,” Lara breathed, “It doesn’t suit a pretty girl like you.” Breathless, you closed your eyes when you felt her lips now on your neck–leaving wet stains across each kiss. You bit your lip, trying to suppress your voice trying to come out of you.

“Are you calling me ugly?” You manage to ask with a small tone. Lara didn’t say anything, her tongue was glazing itself on the spot on your neck that made your fingers tremble. You cursed under your breath, feeling Lara’s teeth clenching around your skin softly.

Your fingers still locked on Lara’s hair, you felt her hands grabbing your chin and tilting it more–giving her more access to the wet and empty spot on your neck. You gulped, beads of sweat now forming in your forehead and body. Lara’s lips found its way on your ear and whispered, “You are the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on, Y/n. Remember that.”

Lara opened her mouth, enough for her teeth to latch onto your neck–and sucked. Your hand snapped to your mouth, trying to muffle the sounds escaping on your throat. You felt her other hand making its way to your tits, slowly palming it.

“Lara…” Your head was spinning with pleasure. Her teeth now biting your skin, you felt the area burn while buckling your torso onto hers. The alcohol made everything feel more intense, your senses were heightened–feeling Lara remove her mouth with a pop.

“That’s it, princess. Let me hear your pretty voice.” A slow moan left your lips as you felt Lara’s tongue going lower, occasionally biting and sucking your collarbone. You didn’t need to look down to know that Lara has left marks on you.

You felt her hand pulling down your bra inside your shirt, letting your hardened nipples glaze on the fabric of your top. You bit your lips once more. Your body was betraying you, the way Lara’s lips came in contact with your skin–was everything you could never admit enjoying out loud being sober.

Your brows furrowed, torn between what your body felt and what your mind was screaming. This was wrong, you were drunk–not being able to think properly before this could happen. You weren’t in control of your actions and feelings, and a moment of vulnerability had led to this.

With a heavy heart, you pushed Lara off. “I can’t.” Your voice was detached. You grabbed your covers beside you, trying to cover up the exposed skin Lara had touched. “Y/n–” “Lara, please,” There was a pause in the air, and time seemed like it froze. “Please don’t make this more complicated than it already is.”

“Y/n, I know you feel the same. I know you feel it too.”

Lara sat there with her heart pounding. You couldn’t see the way Lara’s eyes were on you as tears blurred your vision. “I’m drunk, Lara. I don’t know what this means–I don’t know what I'm doing.” Your fingers clutched your covers, “This was a mistake.”

“Then let me fix it, please? I can’t lose you, Y/n, I really can’t.”

You refuse to meet Lara’s eyes, not sparring a single glace–because you knew something inside of you would shatter if you did. “Don’t do this Lara, please.” Your shoulders gently trembled in the cold air. “Tell me what I shouldn’t do, and what I should–anything–just don’t push me away, Y/n. Anything but that.”

“Please leave.” Your voice barely a whisper, yet the message was loud. “I can’t–,” Lara choked on the lump on her throat, “Y/n, you know I can’t do that.” You shut your eyes close, hoping even for a bit to conceal the tears flowing.

“I can pretend none of this happened between us if it means me still being here with you.” You said nothing. “I can’t lose you, Y/n. I can’t lose you again.” You sat there crying not knowing what to do. But after what almost felt like hours not meeting Lara’s eyes, you finally do.

“I just need some time to think, is that okay?”

Lara bit her lip, and nodded. None of you moved for a while–just letting the stillness consume both of you. The air was heavy, the silence was sickening. You cleared your throat and fixed yourself before standing up.

“You promise to reach out to me when you’re ready?” Lara asked, breaking the silence between the both of you. Her voice was small, yet you felt the desperation seeping out of her. You lock eyes, “I promise.” You said.

“Okay.” Lara stood up following you out of your bedroom down to your front door. You twisted the knob and opened it, standing to the side you waited for Lara to walk out. She took a couple of steps out before looking back at you.

“I’ll wait for you.” Such simple words, but enough to make your heart pound. “Please don’t.” You replied. Lara could only give you a halfhearted smile, as she went up to you and pulled you into a hug. Her chin resting on your head, and your face on the crook of her neck.

“We both know I’ll still do that right?” You felt Lara’s throat vibrating as she said it, but you could only hug her back–not a single word coming out of you. For others, the way you didn’t say anything might’ve broken them–but for Lara, the way your arms still found its way to embrace her once more, was more than enough.

The hug lasted longer than expected. But Lara finally found her way to her car, and drove off.

–

Weeks went by yet there was no sign of you. In each ding of Lara’s phone, she couldn’t help but hoping it was from you. Every time someone knocks on her studio, she can’t help but wish it was you. Lara drove late at night, trying to clear her head–but each time she sees a person on the side walk walking–she can’t help but look, hoping that maybe it was you. Maybe it was you clearing your head too.

Each practice felt different, each vocal lesson seemed empty. In the weeks that went by–there was nothing on Lara’s head but you. Nothing but the conversation both of you had, before she left. Nothing but how defeated she felt after letting feelings get the better of her.

Years of staying quiet, and admiring from a distance–Lara didn’t want to blame herself, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling that maybe it was. She didn’t mean for it to happen, but the way you looked so broken, shattered, and convinced that you weren’t lovable–Lara couldn’t take it.

And Lara wanted to let you know how you were none of what your head was telling you what you are. You were far from being unlovable, far from being just a toy, far from being a failed experiment–yet Lara thought to herself that she should’ve done something else that didn’t stain your…

…friendship.

Lara downed another shot. The music was ruining her ears with the loud echoes of the speakers in the bar, but that wasn’t close to how much her heart was clenching. The obnoxious disco lights were making her sick, and she closed her eyes for a bit and let out a loud exhale.

“5 more, please.”

Lara’s voice was empty, just like how she felt inside. She didn’t know what to feel, hurt maybe? Relieved that Y/n was still willing to talk to her? But God knows when, and it’s killing Lara each day that passes that you aren’t there with her.

Another 5 shots of liquor appeared in front of Lara. She has been drinking alone in the bar ever since she got here, and the bartender left her alone to do it. She saw people dancing–having the time of their lives, yet she was there drowning in her own thoughts and worries.

Lara took another shot, feeling the alcohol burning her throat and stomach. A small sarcastic smile on her lips formed, Lara found it funny that despite already drinking so much–she was nowhere near drunk. She cursed under her breath, feeling frustrated of still being sober.

Lara wanted for a moment to forget everything that happened. She wanted to numb the ache of her heart, wanted to drown the image of you in her head crying that night. She still felt the way your skin felt in hers–it felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time.

Lara took another shot. She was tired of pretending it doesn’t hurt seeing you love someone she’ll never be. Tired of pretending that the ache left her, that she was okay that your heart still belonged to another. In the silence in her head, it was unbearable to see your love for a ghost she’ll never replace.

The alcohol Lara downed again was easier to swallow than the fact that maybe you both will never be the same again. Maybe Lara’s liver will take what her heart can’t, and that thought made Lara drown another. So she swallowed the pain, the ache, and everything she should’ve just kept hidden to herself.

Yet no matter how much liquor landed on Lara’s tongue, all she tasted was your lips. Every drop of alcohol that now ran in her system was an attempt to wash away the memory that seemed unforgettable. But how could Lara ever forget that? How could Lara forget the way your eyes looked at her so lovingly.

Lara thought that maybe she was just imagining things, that maybe she got it all wrong–but fuck.

Who could ever mistake those beautiful eyes—the way they looked at me as if I was her entire world?

Lara dropped her head in her hands, having that half hearted smile on her lips again. She was going crazy. Lara wanted to see you, to talk to you, to hug you–to touch you as if you were hers. But it’s been weeks, and she’s losing her mind.

Sighing for the nth time already, Lara reached for the last shot glass in front of her–only to be snatched by someone beside her.

“I never took you as someone who drinks, Raj. Let alone be at a place like this.”

Lara didn’t need to look at the person beside her drinking her shot to know who it was. “An idol can’t have some fun from time to time now,” Lara paused a bit, “Daniela?” Lara finally looked at the Latina beside her as she said her name.

Daniela only smirked, “Of course we can still have fun! But what I’m saying is,” Daniela’s mouth went near Lara’s ear, and in a whisper, “There are eyes on you, Lara. Don’t let a stupid heartbreak get to your head, you have an image to maintain.” Daniela pulled back, smiling as if nothing happened.

“5 more, please!” Daniela shouted over the loud music. The bartender gave her a quick nod, and set a tray of shots a few minutes later. “Talk about image.” Lara muttered, scoffing as the woman beside her downed 2 shots at once. “Hey, at least I look like I’m having fun–you on the other hand, look miserable.” Daniela chucked.

Lara didn’t say anything. There was something inside her boiling, and she didn’t want to have a conversation with Daniela at the moment. After all, she was the reason why Y/n drowned herself in heartbreak a couple of months back. Daniela was her friend, but cheating was against her better judgment.

“You know, Lara. The girls still talk to me every now and then, but you?” Daniela took a shot, hissing at the ache in her throat. “You never texted me how I was. I wonder why.” Daniela let her words hang in the air, her eyes never leaving Lara’s stoic expression.

Lara kept her mouth closed. She didn’t owe Daniela anything, she knows that she doesn’t owe her an explanation–because they both knew why. “A girl getting into your head now?” The music was loud, and Daniela’s voice was barely audible–but Lara heard it.

“My girl?”

Daniela said and downed another, but Lara didn’t miss the way she emphasizes on the word, ‘my’. Lara chuckled but it sounded sarcastic, “Y/n isn’t your girl anymore, Dani.” The way Lara said Daniela’s nickname didn’t feel friendly anymore, it felt almost like an insult–which is what Lara was aiming for. Daniela caught it.

“I also didn’t take you as a homewrecker, Larz.”

Daniela’s eyes pierced through Lara’s with her smirk looking anything but casual. “You got it wrong,” Lara threw her hands up in surrender while she smiled, “I don’t go for taken girls–never. Just the one who got dumped because her ex-girlfriend left her for a man–and cheated by the way.” Lara smirked while grabbing a shot and drinking it in front of Daniela whose jaws were now clenching.

The air was thick, heavy with both the deafening music–and rising tension. “You really love seeing me pissed off do you?” Daniela’s voice dropped. “Oh, I pissed you off? My bad.” But Lara couldn’t care less about feeling bad, and they both knew it. Daniela got off the bar stool, ending both their conversation and friendship right there.

“Say hi to your new man for me. His dick must be big enough for you to cheat on Y/n.”

Daniela’s eyes enraged, and before she could process it–Daniela landed a punch on Lara’s face. Gasps could be heard around them, but that didn’t bother the Latina. “Don’t fucking push me, Raj. You know I can get ugly with this shit.” Lara could taste the blood on her lips, but she didn’t give a fuck.

“Don’t let a stupid comment get to your head, Daniela. You have an image to maintain.” Lara smirked at her, but really–she was holding it in not to fight back. She remembered Y/n not liking it when she got into fights with people, what more if she knew she was in a fight with her ex-girlfriend.

“Stop fucking mocking me.” Daniela spat back. She grabbed the collar on Lara’s shirt, raised her fist and landed it once more on her jaw. A crowd was forming around them, and the bartender quickly left to call for security. “Beating the shit out of me and humiliating yourself in front of everyone won’t make you the bigger person.”

Lara’s lips and jaws were now throbbing in pain, but nothing hurts more than not seeing Y/n after that night. Daniela’s grip on Lara’s shirt tightened even more, and this time Lara’s hand gripped Daniela’s wrist–a warning to stop this foolery that she was doing.

Daniela’s eyes were burning hatred, and Lara not once flinched at the sight of it–but stared at her with the same passion. “It’s not about being the bigger fucking person, Raj. It’s about you stealing what’s mine.” Their faces were so close together, that none of them breathed. “Y/n isn’t some item that you can claim, Daniela.”

Lara continued, “She isn’t a fucking toy for you to mess with, and throw away when you’re finished.” Lara pushed Daniela off of her, ending their grip on each other. Daniela’s eyes only smiled, and then laughed loud enough for everyone to start whispering.

“Too bad,” Daniela’s face was suddenly deadpan. “Because that’s exactly what she is.”

A loud thud was heard on the bar, and the music stopped. Daniela was on the ground holding her jaw–groaning in pain. The crowd around them gasps once more after seeing the blood run down on Daniela’s chin, and onto the floor.

Lara didn’t know if she should be happy because it only took one punch to shut Daniela up, or gutted because there among the crowd–you stood with a look of horror in your face.

Lara’s world stopped the moment you rushed to Daniela’s side, aiding her bleeding lip and jaw. “Oh my God.” Those were the words Lara had heard coming from your lips after weeks of not seeing you–and it wasn’t for her.

Lara saw the way Daniela’s face flipped the narrative. “Y/n, baby, I’m so happy you’re here.” Lara couldn’t hear anything else that Daniela had told you, her ears were ringing in a way she couldn’t understand. So she stood there, not caring what happened next.

Lara broke out of her dissociation once she heard a loud smack. In front of her, Daniela was holding her other cheek–eyes wide from shock and anger. “Did you just fucking slap me?” Was all Daniela said to you. “I’ve always wanted to do that.” You calmly said.

“That’s for cheating on me. And this,” Your hands slapped your ex-girlfriend once more–and the crowd cheered. Shouting along the lines of, ‘cheater!’ ‘yeah! go slap that cheating ass!’ ‘more! more! more!’ “This is for hurting Lara.” The people around you went wild as security finally came.

You didn’t say anything after that, and you slowly walked towards Lara standing there dumbfounded. “Let’s go.” You softly said, and Lara didn’t question you further. You grabbed her hand, and walked out of the bar–ending everything you and Daniela once had, then and there.

–

Neither of you had spoken a word to each other, not even once. You drove Lara’s car to her place, and helped her to lay down in her bedroom. You could see Lara looking at you all the time, but you focused yourself to treat her busted lip first before anything. Getting the first aid kit from her bathroom, you settled yourself on her bed as Lara was sitting up on her head board.

Still not a single word coming out from each of you. You opened the kit, and grabbed a cotton before dabbing a wound solution onto it. You didn’t look at Lara, but you could tell that her gaze never left yours even as you patted the cotton on the open wound on her lip.

“I miss you.”

Lara’s voice was barely a whisper. Your hands stopped for a second, and you finally looked at the woman in front of you. “I miss you too.” You stared at each other for a bit, and continued aiding Lara’s lip. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and for a second–you knew Lara’s was too.

“I’m sorry, I know you hate it when I get into fights. Something just snapped inside of me when Daniela said that about you. What she said wasn’t right, but my actions weren't either.” You threw the used cotton on her bin, and grabbed a small cooling gel.

“Lara, let’s not talk about that anymore, okay? I’m just…” You placed the cold item on her jaw, pressing it ever so often. “I’m just glad that you’re okay,” You cupped Lara’s cheek, applying pressure to the swollen part of her face. “I was so worried, you know.” A lump formed in your throat.

“I wanted to pull Daniela off of you, but the crowd was getting in the way… I couldn’t do anything.” There was something heavy weighting against your chest. “I-I saw blood on your lips, and I just–froze.” Lara removed the item on your hands from her cheek, and held your shaking fingers. “I’m okay, Y/n. I can handle myself, I’m a big girl remember?”

You glared at her with glossy eyes, “This isn’t the time to be joking around, Lara.” Lara only gave you a soft chuckle, but it only made you frustrated. “Lara, I’m not trying to be funny! I was already worried sick when Manon called me saying you were going to the bar alone, and then I found you in a fight with Daniela! Do you think that’s funny to you? Do you think me being worried is fun?”

You bit your lip out of anger. Lara only took your hands in hers, and kissed your knuckles softly. “So you were worried about me, hm?” Lara looked up at you with a small grin, and you rolled your eyes. “I’m going home.” Frustrated, you stood up–only for Lara to pull you down back on her bed.

“You’re already home, Y/n.” You felt your face flush, and seemingly annoyed by Lara’s cheeky smile. “I’m not treating you anymore, do it yourself.” You turned your head away from her gaze, and Lara just grabbed your chin to make you look at her–something she always does.

“I don’t need treatment, I just need you here.” You gave up trying to hide your burning face, “Stop flirting with me, gosh.” “So you’re finally admitting that I’ve been flirting with you ever since, but you were too oblivious not to notice?” Lara teased. “Lara!”

“Alright, alright! I’ll stop.” Lara said, but you knew she was never going to stop. You both sat there on her bed, letting the silence linger in the air. “About that night,” You said, your voice was small–like you were scared to say it. “I’m sorry telling you it was a mistake.” You looked away from Lara, but Lara just listened.

“It wasn’t a mistake, Lara. And yes, I-I felt it too. I was just so caught up with Daniela–and everything, I was drunk, I was reckless–I acted on impulse. I was confused, and I didn’t know what I was thinking at the moment. I know I wanted you that time, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was wrong, especially because…”

You looked at Lara, trying to read what was on her mind. But Lara only rubbed your thumb with hers, “I’m listening.” She said with assurance, and you continued. “Especially because I was still crying about seeing Daniela, and it just felt so weird–I felt like I was using you to forget her, and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want you to feel that way, and I didn’t want us to start that way either–so that’s why I pushed you off.” You sat there breathless, your feelings bursting all at once.

But Lara didn’t mind, instead she looked at you with care. “And where is your heart now?” One question, but the answer could change everything. You swallowed, heart beating fast each second that goes by. “It’s with you, Lara. It’s always been with you.” You whisper. Those words alone were enough to ease the tension in Lara’s chest.

You didn’t wait for Lara’s response. You straddled yourself on her lap, ignoring how fast your heart was beating. “I should’ve done this a long time ago.” Lara could smell your minty breath before you crashed your lips onto hers. Lara wasted no time and kissed you back.

Lara’s body was in heat sweating as she grabbed you by the waist, pulling you closer to her. Your fingers were on her neck, trying to deepen the kiss. A wave of chills went up to your spine, as you felt Lara’s tongue gliding your lower lip–asking for entrance.

You parted your mouth, allowing Lara’s tongue to explore yours–and you tasted the alcohol in her. “I’m sober, don’t worry.” Lara mumbled in between your kisses, and you could only hum. You felt her hand slowly inching its way up behind your shirt, as Lara’s kisses trailed down onto your neck.

You let out a breathy exhale, feeling the way her tongue making its way to the fading hickey on your neck. Your body felt hot, aching for more–and you felt Lara sucking on your skin. Your fingers went to her hair, holding it for stability as you felt your body twitching.

“Lara.” You moaned, feeling her hand palming your breasts. You felt your nipple harden at Lara’s touch, and she only continued sucking all the areas of your neck. “Mine,” You hear her mumble in your skin, “You’re mine, baby.” You groaned the second Lara removed her lips on your skin, as she removed your top and threw it somewhere in her room.

Lara’s lip found itself on your tits. Kissing them softly, and slowly inching her way to your nipples. You felt her other hand playing with your other breasts, and you let out a gasp the moment Lara’s warm mouth devoured your nipple.

You bit your lip as your hand covered your mouth, trying to contain the embarrassing sounds from your throat. Lara didn’t seem to like that as she grabbed your wrist–pulling it away from your mouth. “Let me hear you, princess. I want to hear your pretty voice again” With no choice, and with Lara’s teeth biting your nipple–you moaned in her ear.

“Lara, it feels so good…” Drowning in pleasure, you didn’t notice the way you were grinding on the growing bulge in her pants. And Lara let out a groan, “Just like that, baby. Keep grinding on me while I mark you, okay?” You bit your lip again, while looking down on Lara biting, sucking, and marking you all over your top.

You felt her bulge brushing against your clothed clit, and you couldn’t help but roll your hips more onto her. Your legs were becoming sore from the prolonged position, and Lara noticed it. Without a second thought–she flipped both of you, and now you were laying on her mattress.

Your hair scattered on her pillows as Lara looked down at you with both love and desire. “So beautiful,” Lara found her lips on your stomach, kissing it. “So pretty,” She mumbled on your skin, “So perfect.” Lara’s head was between your thighs, and she looked up at you–wanting to know if it’s okay.

You nodded at her, and Lara took off your shorts–leaving you still wearing your underwear. You silently cursed under your breath as Lara kissed your inner thigh, leaving wet trails of her saliva on you. “Can I touch you here, princess?” Lara’s voice was deep, but still had the softness that she always had only for you.

“Please do.” You said, breathless with your breathing being all over the place. You could smell the way your panties were ruined, and your face flushed. You buckled your hips the moment you felt Lara’s fingers touching your clothed slit, “You’re so wet for me, baby girl, fuck.”

“I barely touched you, yet you’re soaked.” Lara teased you, and all you could do was whine. Lara kissed the wet spot on your panties, before kissing your thighs once more. She marked each area in your skin, making you shudder from both the pain and pleasure.

Lara’s fingers finally pulled the hem of your underwear, tossing the piece of clothing on the floor. You swallowed, feeling nervous being so exposed to Lara like this. “Can I?” She asked, you breathed and then nodded. Lara grabbed each of your thighs and opened them like a present.

You heard Lara curse under her breath as you felt her thumb gliding across your now exposed wet slit. You moaned at her fingers, “L-Lara, please,” Lara could only hum at you, “I know, baby.” Lara didn’t want to make you wait, and she pressed her tongue against your soaked cunt.

Your moans bounced on the walls of her bedroom. Lara’s tongue lapping up all your juices, never wasted a single drop as her nose repeatedly brushed against your clit. Your hands entangle itself onto Lara’s hair, holding onto her for dear life as Lara never stopped eating your pussy.

“F-Fuck, Lara! It feels so good..” Lara didn’t say anything, but just continued the way her tongue was dancing itself around you. Something inside of you was building up, and your moans started to become louder. You felt Lara’s thumbs opening the lips of your pussy, as she inserted her tongue in your opening.

“I’m gonna cum..” Your breath was now rigid, and Lara’s tongue was repeatedly coming in and out of you–with her nose brushing on your clit, your body shook in pleasure as your orgasm hit you like a wave.

Your fingers tighten on Lara’s scalp as you grind on her face, riding out your orgasm. You finally opened your eyes, and Lara went up to your face and kissed you once more. “You taste so good, princess, so good.” She mumbled on your lips. You moaned at the taste of yourself and Lara’s on her tongue.

Lara’s hands found its way to your waist again, as she settled herself in between your legs. You loop your thighs around her, feeling the tent in her pants only growing bigger. “I’m so hard for you, baby.” Lara broke the kiss, leaving a single strand of saliva and your cum stringing both of your lips. Lara brushed the hair sticking on your forehead to the side, and looked sincerely in your eyes.

“Are you sure about this, Y/n?” Lara’s voice was hoarse, but she wanted to make sure you were ready. You stared at her drunk in love eyes, and slowly nodded. “I’ve never been so sure in my life, Lara.” And that was all Lara needed before smashing both of your lips together. Your tongues collided–feeling as if they were meant to stay like that forever.

Lara’s hands wander around your body, trying to memorize your curves and all its shapes. Her kisses trailed down once more, as she landed a final kiss on your ribs before removing her own top. Your eyes watched her as Lara did so, and Lara stared at you with both hunger and admiration. She unbuckled the belt around her pants, and unzipped the material long caging her cock.

Your eyes lingered–stared at the wet spot on her underwear. “It’s rude to stare, princess.” Lara playfully said, and you looked away blushing. “Sorry.” You whispered. Lara only chuckled, “Kidding, I’m just teasing you.” You shot her an annoyed look, but your lips were turning upward.

Lara took her pants off, and your eyes drifted back to her clothed shaft. You unconsciously bit your lip–a habit when you don’t know what to do. Lara’s gaze never left yours, and she saw the way your eyes flickered with something the moment her cock sprang free–hitting her lower abdomen.

Your breath became heavy.

How the hell is that going to fit in me?

“It doesn’t bite, baby.” Lara smirked, seeing your reaction to seeing her dick for the first time. “It may hurt you a little though, just a little.” Lara positioned herself again between your thighs, guiding her throbbing dick in between your folds.

You flinched at the contact. You felt Lara’s tip slowly rubbing on your clit, and you felt this ignition inside of you again. Lara held onto your waist, as you held onto Lara’s wrist for comfort. Lara looked at you, and you gave her a small nod. “Please, Lara.”

Lara slowly pushed herself inside of you, feeling your tight walls clamming down her cock. Lara let out a throaty moan, and she bit her lip–trying to not let out too many sounds from her mouth. “Gosh, princess–you’re so tight.” Lara’s dick was pulsing inside of you, and you moaned.

You felt so full, so stuffed. Your head was spinning with pleasure, as you felt Lara’s hips moving. You felt it–you felt the way her cock rubbed against your inside walls, and you threw your head back on her pillows. “So big…L-Lara, you’re so–big.”

Lara’s confidence grew, and she fastened the pace. Your inner thighs were burning–sore from all the movement but you couldn’t care less. You moaned as Lara dug her nails deeper on your waist, trying to get a hold of you before now pounding you on the mattress. “You like this, baby? You like feeling my cock in you?”

Lara groaned as she felt you clenched around her. “Y-Yes, it feels so fucking good..” Lara hummed in satisfaction. She grabbed your thighs, angling it to make her thrusts deeper. And it worked–your moans became louder, igniting a fire in Lara’s stomach.

You felt Lara’s hands cup your breasts, and your stomach turned in pleasure. The sound of Lara’s thrusts echoed in her room, and you felt your climax approaching. “I’m gonna cum, baby.” You panted in between breaths. “Then cum for me, princess.” Lara fastened her pace, and you shut your eyes closed before your orgasm caught up to you.

“Such a good girl.”

That was all Lara said before flipping you onto your stomach without a warning. “Would you be so kind and let me cum too, baby?” You were now on your knees, trying to catch your breath as you nodded. “If it’s too much, just say red, okay?” You felt Lara’s mouth behind your ear, and nodded once more–confused as to why she would say that.

You soon found your answer when Lara hammered her cock into your cunt. The feeling caught you off guard, and Lara only cursed as she continued. “You feel so fucking good around me, baby–so fucking good.” You hold onto her headboard, as your body finds the rhythm of her thrusts.

“Am I big, princess?” Lara’s fingers dug itself onto your skin, and you knew there would be marks after. You felt her tip slighting glazing on your cervix, as you could only nod–feeling drunk on the new sensation. “Use that pretty little mouth of yours, yeah? Tell me–am I big?” Lara’s stamina was something else.

“Y-Yes Lara, f-fuck!” You felt your hole burning, and the wet slapping noises that came from you were too embarrassing to hear. Lara smirked, digging her dick further into you. “Bigger than Daniela’s strap, baby? Bigger than her fake fucking dick?” Lara’s cock thrusts into you in each word she lets out, and you feel your eyes water from too much pleasure.

“Yes baby, b-bigger than her. You’re bigger t-than Daniela..” You felt your climax building up again, and you knew it wouldn’t take long before your orgasm would hit you. Lara’s thrust remained fast and steady, and you felt her moan in her own pleasure. “Can I cum in you, baby? I want to see your pussy crying in my cum.”

You nodded at Lara, and in one final thrust–both of you reached your climax. Lara felt your walls hugging her dick–extracting each drop of semen out of her. You moaned at the feeling of Lara’s cum inside of you, hot and sticky all over your walls.

You finally breathe a sigh of relief thinking it was done, but Lara starts moving again. You noticed that she was still hard and fully erect inside of you, and the way she humped her dick–left your legs shaking. “Just one more, okay princess? I just need one more.” You let out a whimper, feeling overstimulated already.

“Lara–baby,” You moaned, and the sound of you moaning her name like that–made Lara crazy. Lara, with no mercy, slammed her dick inside of you again at an ungodly pace. Making you throw your head back, face twisting in pleasure. “O-Oh fuck!” You felt your clit pulsating, and your insides screaming in bliss.

Lara saw you throwing your head back, and her fingers locked onto the hair on your scalp–pulling your locks ever so slightly. The new feeling made you dizzy in ecstasy, while Lara’s cock threw you into a drunken euphoric state. “You like that, baby? You like me fucking you like this?” You could only nod, as Lara pounded her dick inside you mercilessly.

Lara’s fingers snaked its way to your clit, and rubbed it. An unholy sound came out of you, ripping another orgasm from your body with no warning. Tears were streaming down your face, your body too overstimulated–yet enjoying each thrust Lara was giving you.

“I’m gonna fucking cum, and you’re going to take it, princess. I’ll stuff your pussy so full of my cum, that the next time we’re fucking–it’ll still be there dripping out of you.”

Lara thrusts one more time before you feel her thick hot semen shooting out inside of you, as you feel your own juices mix with hers.

Your body finally collapsed from exhaustion, and Lara caught you before you could feel your muscle ache. “I got you, baby.” Lara said in a whisper. She pulled you under the cover with her, and gently embraced your shaking figure. “Shhh, it’s okay now. We’re done, it’s over.”

Lara cooed you as you felt tears slipping out of your eyes. She looked down at you, and wiped your tears away. “Was that too much, honey?” Lara’s voice was gentle, waiting for you to calm down and reply. You didn’t have the energy to say anything, but you reassured her that it was okay by giving her a hug.

“Should I clean you up right now, or tomorrow so you can properly rest now?” Lara’s head rested on top of your hair, her fingers gently brushing against them. “Tomorrow, please.” Your voice was nearly gone, and Lara could only giggle a bit. “Okay, beautiful. Get some sleep now, I’ll be right here.”

Lara felt your hug on her tightened as you found a comfortable position in her arms to sleep, and once you did, you muttered so softly.

“Goodnight, Lara.”

“Goodnight, my pretty baby.”

“I love you.”

Lara paused, a huge smile forming on her face.

“I love you too, Y/n.”

more a/n: lwk too tired to proof read ts. jst lmk if there were any mistakes, my ask is always open :)

also, happy belated birthday to my baby girl, lara! <3 💋

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