the days are long; the days are grueling.

at least, they are for her.

long, hard days full to the bursting brim of tedious, and sometimes strenious, workloads that can't wait another second or the entire company will collapse.

weight placed on her shoulders, boulders on her back, stress on her minds.

all of that melts away when her back arches from the bed, her fingers dig into the sheets and her hair spread like oil in water against the pillows with her quivering thighs wrapped around your head.

the days may be hard; the days may be long, but you're her peace in the chaos.

tongue gently probing her entrance, index fingers holding her puffy lips apart as your thumb draws gentle, slow circles on her clit.

it's best to not press hard; you leave that type of stimulation for punishments.

her soft mewls and cries of pleasure sound like angels singing praises, spurring you on to continue pleasing your girl.

"fuck," she whispers, "please, baby, i can't..." pleas tumble fron her lips. her thighs clench tighter and quiver harder, yet you hold them down and open.

heaven seems so close to her, just at the reach of her fingertips, as she feels that warm pressure build under her skin.

her clit pulses under your thumb. her breath gets staggered in her lungs, rattling her limbs. tears burn behind her eyes as the pressure bubbles.

"baby, wait, wait..." she gasps, her clammy hands digging into your hair, "something's coming out..."

she barely chokes out her words before a wail rips through the room. her back arches, toes curl, thigh clench so tight she might catch a cramp. she can see the constellations on your bedroom's ceiling.

you keep your lips on her pussy, drinking her down. her cum jets down your throat, the tangy taste acting as a reward for your service. your tongue rolls against her clit, encouraging her orgasm.

it takes a minute for her cries of bliss to dwindle into whimpers and soft moans. she falls boneless and sweaty against the bed, staring into the darkness of your shared room.

your hands gently rub her quaking thighs, peppering wet kisses along her bikini line. you whisper sweet nothings and praises against her hot skin, bringing her down to earth.

arkha was kind, maybe too kind to you. you'd joined the cleaners at a young age and he walked over to you straight away. he'd held your hand and he smiled at you.

he was your friend, even with your mistakes and whatever else you felt was wrong with you. he never made you feel guilty or terrible, he was kind.

throughout your life, you were always confused whenever people brought up sex. you'd never felt those feelings people talked about. you never felt the drive to touch someone that way, even when you really wanted to.

there had to be something wrong with you, that was the only thing you could come up with. you were broken beyond compare and no amount of fixing yourself was going to change that.

you tried so very hard to be what your partners wanted from you. you tried to touch them and like it, you let them touch you and forced yourself, convinced yourself that you enjoyed it. you hated how much you had to lie to yourself.

you'd told one of your partners once, hoping and praying they'd have some kind of answer that would make it all better but you were wrong.

"so you're a freak?" they'd said. they stared at you like you were something to be ashamed of and then they got angry. "so you've faked everything? what the fuck?"

"no, no! i was joking!" you'd begged, pleaded. you hoped they'd believe it was a lie, a sick joke but all they'd done was tell you what you've known for a long time about yourself.

sick, a freak, something was broken and there was no way for anyone to fix you. you were destined to be alone because no one would want you for more than what they could see.

you weren't something to love. you were barely a person.

so when arhka confessed that he'd liked you for quite some time, you were terrified it was going to be same.

sweet, kind arkha.

you'd never imagine he'd make you feel like the others did but this was different than friendship. it was a different level neither of you had seen each other at.

you waited for the eventual time that he'd come to you and ask for sex. you waited and waited but the time never came. he'd hold you and kiss you.

he'd kiss you just to kiss you. he'd hold you just to hold you. he took who you were when he came to you and he loved it regardless.

he loved you regardless.

sex never came up, he never asked and neither did you. you felt good in the peacefulness and it scared you.

if this is what love was meant to be like from the very beginning, did that mean you were never the problem to begin with? that love was never tied to how worthy your body was? or how your bodies came together?

you were scared to ask but you had to know, you had to. maybe arkha found you revolting and was only loving you out of pity from seeing how every other relationship fell apart. maybe he only kept you close for appearances but behind your back he was getting something from someone else, something you weren't put on this earth to give.

it was a quiet day when you decided to know on the door to his office. the cleaners headquarters is never quiet, ever. you wish it was loud that day too so it could match what your head felt like.

"come in." arhka said. his voice made your shoulders relax, like it always did. it's warm, like a hug he hasn't had the chance to give yet.

you walk inside and he smiles at you, his eyes light up the way they always do with you. any stress on his face melts off and he looks at you like he loves you. he looks at you like your very presence is enough for him.

"hello, love."

"hi." you say back and walk further into the room. he goes to stand and you hold your hand up. "can you. . . stay sitting? i wanna tell you something." he's confused, his brow furrows but he nods and sits.

this is it. the day everything could fall apart, where he could leave you like everyong else has. where he can confirm ever single suspicion you've ever had about about yourself. he could look at you with disgust and you wouldn't be able to do a thing about it.

"i have this thing," you pause and look at him. you want to cry. he's looking at you so kindly, his hand is twitching the way it does when he wants to hold yours.

"are you sick?" he asks and you feel it knowing he's worried for you.

"no- i mean, i don't know, maybe?" he sits up straight now but he remains silent, still looking at you in your eye. "i don't feel the need for sex. i've always been this way."

he says nothing again and his expression never changes but you feel your heart drop inside your chest and tears in your eyes. this is it, you've fucked it.

"i know it's strange and i don't know what wrong with me. i want to, i want to so badly and i can give you it anyway but i just wanted you to know." you ramble on and before you realize it, he's right in front of you.

his hands are on your shoulders and he holds you so gently. his eyes are as kind as ever and he looks like he's hurt at the very notion that you feel that way.

"my love," he starts and he pulls you into a tight hug. "there's nothing wrong with you. there could never be anything wrong with you, not like this."

you feel tears collect in your eyes and you sniffle. he only holds you tighter.

"you're not broken, there's nothing to be fixed about you." he sounds so sure and feel the tears fall. "i love you, not what you can or cannot give me. i don't care about sex."

you let out a small sob into his chest. he's so warm, you feel so safe in his arms that even if he wasn't speaking, he'd still make you feel comforted.

"whatever others have told you before, whatever they made you feel, they no longer matter. i love you to love you. i kiss you just so i can kiss you. i ache for you in my soul."

he holds you tighter and he lets you cry. he holds you like he has all the time in the world. he holds you because he loves you.

"there's nothing wrong with me?" you ask softly, like you can barely believe that it's true. he nods against your head and you breathe shakily. "there's nothing wrong with me."

"not a single thing."

he loves you just because it's you. he kisses you because it's you he's kissing. he wants you and everything that comes with you because that's what love is.

loving arkha, him loving you has taught you that to love someone, it's an extension of you. it's built into your bones more than anything else.