The X-Files Episodes Guide

Anyone who follows this guide for some time already knows that, being from Latin America myself, I can’t stand episodes that force ethnics on the story (and vice-versa), but I actually liked this one and found it to be quite funny. They did a good job referencing latin soap operas, including the acting and forced monologues, and the result is a hilarious story full of drama and cliché lines. I was also surprised by the end - the message on imigrants’s rights was more than welcome.

The downside is that perhaps they did too much of a good job of referencing, so much that one who never watched a latin soap opera wouldn’t get that this is a mostly tongue-in-cheek episode.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | It’s a good episode, just not essential. So maybe.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂   3/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽👽   3/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢    1/5

This one has a very clever story. What if Samantha, Mulder’s sister, had been murdered, not abducted? I like that the episode doesn’t give the answer to the viewer, and in that way, we are forced to go a little crazy along with Mulder.

The fact that the story gets so personal to Mulder and several heartbreaking and shipper-cute scenes make this episode one very memorable and special.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂🍂   4/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽   2/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢🚢   4/5

This is a great follow-up to “Tunguska”. It’s always good to see Scully sceaming at a judge. Could someone please give Gillian Anderson a lead role in a lawyer series just so I can see her screaming “OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!”?

Also, that hug is one of the sweetest things I saw on the show.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂   3/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽   2/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢   3/5

The mythology started to introduce so much stuff on the last season that it started being a little hard to follow for me. Thankfully, I think it has stabilized here, and this results on a thrilling episode with a good cliffhanger.

And ugh, that black oil is getting really creepy.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂   3/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽👽   3/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢   2/5

Normally, when a show does an episode focused on just one character, it ends up being boring, but this one really surprised me. The story - very well written and shot, by the way - shows the Smoking Man’s origins and the reasons why he does what he does, humanizing him without victimizing too much, and even hints on a possible relationship with Mulder.

All in all, it’s a truly remarkable, special episode. After watching this, I can honestly say that the Smoking Man has become one of my favorite characters on the show. Who knew that his life could be as boring and frustrating as one of us’s? Hey Smoking Man, you could be a Tumblr user!

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂   5/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽   1/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢   1/5

“Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. 

Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, and the taste is fleeting. 

Yay! Yet another Twin Peaks actor practically reprising his Twin Peaks role. This time, it’s Richard Beymer, who played Richard Horne.

And this episode is great not only because of him. It’s basically a  “Die Hand Die Verletzt” 2.0, this time with satanic doctors and nurses in a spooky hospital! Totally worth watching it (although, avoid if you got a panic of blood, because there are lots).

Also, I have to say that Mulder and Scully are looking smoking hot this season.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂   3/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽👽👽👽   5/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢   1/5

I found it very strange when I learned that this episode is one of the fans’ least favorites, because I love it! The fact that it’s a cult story already makes this watchable for me, plus, I thought that Melissa is a super interesting character.

Other reasons to watch it? Well, it’s visually beautiful, and almost half of the story is composed by Mulder having emotional moments. And, also, Scully gives us yet another fun Flukeman reference!

There is one quote I’ve read on this site, by Kelly Connolly, that pretty much sums up my feelings about this episode: “I like that this episode doesn’t attribute Mulder and Scully’s entire relationship to fate. They’re connected, but everything beyond that—all of this love between them—that’s all them. It’s their choice.”

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂   5/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽    1/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢🚢    4/5

Aside from the facts that Scully is kidnapped and that everything on that matter is pretty cliché, this episode still holds a pretty good serial murder mystery. I really like stories about psychic photographs, and this one was specially creative and clever.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂🍂   4/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽   2/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢🚢   4/5

You know what is this episode is about? I’ll tell you: it’s about black people getting de-pigmented. Yep. Black people becoming albinos-like.

Dude.

Simply terrible. 

And, also, kind of a “Squeeze” and “Tooms” rip-off. I just wanna forget that it ever happened.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Usually I try to just give you my opinion and let you decide based on the facts. But, this time, I have to say: seriously, don’t waste your time on this one. This is beyond bad taste.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂  3/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽   1/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢    2/5

Prior to watching this episode for the first time, I would see it on top of several The Best / Scariest X-Files Episodes lists that I’d bump into on the internet. One of them even told the reader to make sure that someone else is on their room before watching the scene where Mulder and Scully look under the bed, and reading this made me so anxious that the next night I had a fucking nightmare with a scene that I had never even watched!

So, when I finally did watch the episode, well, I have to say I was kind of disappointed. Maybe that’s because of my great expectations, but the Peacock family didn’t really look that frightening to me... or is it due to the fact that 90′s special effects aren’t that convincing in HD and I should’ve watched in it an old TV...?

Still, aesthetically-wise, it’s one of the best episodes. Every scene is glaring, and even though the story has its plotholes, it’s still pretty remarkable for what it is.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂  5/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽👽  3/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢  3/5

If the shipping rate at the end of the last season was on point, the very start of this one is kinda disappointing in that aspect. Dammit, Mulder, don’t you leave your (work, life and crime) partner in the middle of an abandoned site again.

But, we get - no. Actually, he gets - a nice hug from her at the hospital and then they get super cute together... so, worth it.

...

I’m sorry. 

I’m boarding this ship so hard that sometimes it seems that I can only write about the cute things that the two of them do.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | So... back to actually reviewing the actual episode, yes, you should. This one introduces one of my favorite recurring characters on the show, Marita Covarrubias. She reminds me of the original La Femme Nikita.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂  3/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽👽  3/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢   1/5 for the beginning SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢🚢   4/5 for midway through the ending

I like it when mythology episodes start as if they were just normal ones and then evolve and uncover a greater conspiracy. This is one of those, and although we’ve had some eerier season finales at this point, it’s still a pretty solid one. It was also good to see Deep Throat again, even if he might have just appeared in someone’s mind. This is me, not even in the half of the seasons, already missing Season 1.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂  3/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽👽  3/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢    3/5

Three things that we learned here: 1) Scully’s biggest fear is that Mulder would betray her; 2) Scully’s the only person that Mulder trusts; 3) Scully’s brain ships them too. Boy, the shipping rate really is at peak for the end of the season 3. 

Oh, and for those who aren’t satisfied enough with so much cuteness, the mystery and conspiracy displayed here is incredible and super thrilling.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂   3/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽👽  2/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢🚢🚢    5/5

Remember when Scully got a dog earlier this season? He’s here on this episode and we can see Mulder, Scully and Queequeg, the dog, acting like a real cute family taking a trip to the lake (pictured). Now that’s what I call continuity.

In my opinion what makes this episode special is the part after the boat sinks. I love when episodes are slow like this one... the story just kind of takes a break and we can see the characters talking and acting normal for some time.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes! Super cute episode.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂🍂  4/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽   1/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢🚢🚢   5/5

Although I can agree that the mystery itself is pretty standard, how is this not officially considered a mythology episode? It’s all about Skinner, and he’s an important character, and for the first time in the series we get to have a pretty profound insight on his mind and his backstory. Thus, this guide WILL consider this one part of the mythology, and you WILL watch it, and you WILL love Skinner as much as I do. End of discussion!

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂   1/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽   1/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢  2/5

The fact that it’s told in a non-linear way already makes this story remarkable by itself, however, at the same time I think that what really makes this episode great is its many similarities to comics - not only on the storytelling, but in the photography too. The lighting feels very surreal and contrasting on all scenes (specially the ones that belong to Scully’s imagination, which is fitting), and the shots feel very dramatic, in an almost waggish way.

Darin Morgan’s attention to details made all the difference in “Humbug”, “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose” and in the cockroaches episode, all of these also written by him, and it sure does on this one. For example, it’s the only episode so far where we can follow the secondary characters’s lives after the main story ends. I also love that this is the only episode so far where the score is based on the show’s opening theme; and that Yappi, the fortune teller from Clyde Bruckman’s episode, makes a brief return here in another hilarious appearance.

It’s interesting that no one can quite figure out if everything that is showed on this episode has or hasn’t happened. I guess it all depends on the viewer’s point of view, and, in that way, we are forced to experience the writing of a book along with Jose Chung.

SHOULD I WATCH IT? | Yes, this one is great. It’s definitely the best episode so far, in my opinion.

AESTHETICS RATE | 🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂 5/5 SPOOKINESS RATE | 👽   1/5 SHIPPING RATE | 🚢🚢🚢   3/5