Furry Fangs

Brant Daugherty + Instagram.

Me? A good influence? Well, alright. My sister is a hybrid if that’s the correct term. She’s like Anya. I don’t know if she’s as powerful, but I wouldn’t want to find out anytime soon — or ever. I was meaning the world in general, sweetheart. But how many nightmares are here, it does make sense for this to be considered Wonderland. Fine, we won’t be Queen and King. Well, you won’t be King but I’ll be Queen. 

I- can't even tell you what we're talking about anymore. Honestly, if someone could hear one of our conversations, we'd probably both be locked in cages. Now we need to think of a new topic. 

Oh, good. I’m sure they would love a call from me. Flora will probably warm up to you sooner or later. She’s — Well she’s a little hestitant with my significant others. Funny how that is. The younger siblings being more protective over the older ones. Wait, you don’t believe this is Wonderland? It surely is, my dear. 

They think you're a good influence on me. They'd be more than happy if you gave them a call. Oh, with Flora? It's just a hybrid thing, probably. We'll get used to each other eventually, but for now, she might wanna stay down in Australia. For everyone's sake. Do I believe that Mayfield is Wonderland? This place has more magic in it than Wonderland could ever dream of. We might need to pick some new titles. 

In-laws? When did we get married? Are you telling me I missed my own wedding? Damn, not again. Well, you probably don’t like my parents so you can the one that doesn’t like the in-laws. Oh come on, you have to admit that how old I am world domination should be on my bucket list. We would be a great team, both heartbreakers. They would call us the Queen and King of Hearts. 

How could you forget? My parents probably have the nonexistent pictures from it all around their house. If you ever need a reminder, call 'em up, and they'll email you whatever they have. Your parents? Lucky for me, I wouldn't have any in-laws with you-- except Flora, but I'll eventually manage to tolerate her. King and Queen of Hearts? I'm almost positive one of those titles have been claimed by Alice in Wonderland. 

Has your family come up with a name for us then? You know you should have invited me to come with you. I like your family. They’re more lively. I wonder what all this subtle hinting could mean. Your family, my coworkers, hell even my sister could like us together. We are going to take over the world soon. 

A name for us? You mean like Brangelina? I wouldn't put it past me; some of my younger siblings are into the weird couple naming thing-- whatever it's called. You're willing to spend more time with my family? ... That's not very "together" of us. Who's supposed to like their in-laws? World domination? That's what your goal has been since the beginning, hasn't it? You saw my pretty face and plotted everyone else's demise. 

You have gotten so naive since you’ve been away from me. Let me put it this way. A boy never comes by my office with me or for me. You’ll be the first boy. Now, what could women think about of that? You could be my boy toy named Troy.

Are you saying there are actually people other than my parents who think we're together? Wait it out a few months, and there'll probably be a fanclub starting up soon. 

The newest gossip? Well, I’ll let you know that the moment you walk through the door they will be on you like flies to honey. 

From your work? Why would they care who I am?

Only once or twice? Here, I thought it was going to be more. I guess I can handle just every now and then. Who knows maybe you’ll turn into the newest gossip at work. My mysterious new man. How scandalous of you. 

Considering I don't have a job at the moment, I think I can handle a few more days a week of bothering you. Newest gossip? What about this time?