I'm such a freak

"Well, yes, I am, but no action of any sort. I’d rather wait a bit for that. Too much emotional baggage with that…"

"Ah.. you're one of those girls. Good, Stay that way."

Seriously I’m gonna cry.

If you do, could you record it for me? 

*dancing along to no music*

Did you take your meds today?

I’m so out of breath it’s not even funny anymore-

Actually it's hilarious.

"So does being in a relationship entitle overly affectionate displays in the hallways? I’m new to all this, I’m curious on how exactly one goes about this whole dating thing…”

Oh come on, you're like twelve. You're not in a relationship are you? Because if you're getting more action than me, we have a problem.

I’m not staring, nor am I a little boy. 

You're a little boy, and you were looking at me without saying anything, so either you were staring at me because I'm so gorgeous, or you're just a creep.

Oh my heart is broken.

Poor thing. I might actually feel a little bad.

…no?

Well, either you need to watch it, or just the musical episode or I'll never be able to talk to you.

….Bunnies?

You don't watch Buffy, do you?

What’s your theory?

It could be bunnies.

I know I'm gorgeous, but the little boy staring is almost creepy.

He looked like the dead dog from The Hills Have Eyes. 

I've never seen that. And from that lovely description I just got.. I don't think I want to..

Hey, watch this. [He turns to the two random college girls beside him.] What are you two beautiful ladies looking at? [When they ignore him, he clears his throat and turns back the opposite direction.] They’re looking at a picture of my penis. Guarantee it.

How unfortunate for you.

Why do the freshmen seem to be getting smaller and smaller every year?

I have a theory.

I just found my dog dead in the woods. He was mauled by a fox or something. How fucking sick is that?

That's so.. morbid. I'm sorry..