A Magical Domain

Get in loser, we’re going to the farmers’ market

Some of you did not spend your childhoods making potions out of random leaves and berries and twigs and just throwing them all in a tub of water and stirring it with a big stick you found and it shows.

Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture?

My dream wedding: outside, illegal fireworks, shoes are optional, mostly potluck, someone’s dressed as a wizard, I get to insult my relatives, hopefully some live music.

You want to get married at Bilbo Baggins 111th birthday

My goal in life is to occupy an abandoned castle in the European countryside, keep a giant rose garden, only wear long flowing dresses, and become local folklore