XCVTHETIC

1300.

i am actually curious of liberal arts after i found out about the beautiful literacy in story books and novels. and i fall even deeper after i know BTS, where their lyrics have always hit the most mysterious places in my brain that i can’t even figure out myself at all. sometimes i just get lost in between the words and float away by their magical melody.

you get my point. i just knew all of the beautiful composed words are in a course called liberal arts. a study on literature. if i wasn’t in technology path, i would’ve consider going through that path instead cos learning the beauty of language is such a diverse and warm feeling i can’t express. i just felt welcomed by every single human being in this world if i can communicate with them. i’m not actually an introvert. i love to talk, it’s just i choose not to most of the time because nowadays, people need someone to listen more. and i’m kinda flexible. i can talk, i can listen, i can also do nothing and still live my life normally. i can function well with or without communication. 

it’s just i have the thought that i might be the person who you never needed on one’s daily basis, but when one day you actually need me, i would still be available. i’m the person who stays in the same time frame and waits for someone to seek for me.

i don’t have big goals to achieve in life. i just want to repay my parents and live well as a person. i wanted to give back the bless that’s been bestowed upon me for this 22 years. indeed, i felt like i never deserves it. but, a bless is a bless. you’ve to always be grateful for being blessed. 

sometimes, i’m scared i might lost the bless that’s been given to me and live in such blinded situations where i can’t escape from fall into a deeper pit every time i take a breath. suffocation. i’m afraid of that situation. but they say, you only live once and memory of youth last forever. so, i should make every moments counts. 

PC’s Simple Oglio Olio Recipe

[Oglio Olio; Oil & Garlic]

i’d recommend using the same brand of ingredients because this is what i always cook and it taste deliciously light and spicy. bear in mind too that i have a very simple taste bud. this is a very simple recipe and i’m kinda proud of it cos i nailed the taste every single time :’)

this recipe is made for one person’s meal only ^^

ingredients (as shown in picture)

- spaghetti, olive oil, flavorings, garlic, chilli flakes

cooking steps 

1. pour two spoon of olive oil to heat in a pan

2. put in the garlic and fry until it’s golden

3. put in the spaghetti

4. put desired amount of chilli flakes (two shakes minimum)

5. put in the two table spoons of flavorings (add salt if needed)

6. stir everything well

7. done!

a cut can means to have a haircut or a small cut that may or not bleed; sometimes it’s not even painful. i’m experiencing the second one and i realized that i always have mysterious cuts whenever i do things in a rush. i got this after doing the dishes and it didn’t even hurt a bit but i started to realize it’s presence when i saw blood stain on the tip of my thumb. i think it’s fascinating that pain receptor is getting weaker each day passes. maybe one day i can never feel pain at all and finally i can deal with the flares of lupus easily then. yeay. but anyway, i have a resolution for this year and that is continuing my passion on writing and multimedia editing. i don’t know whether to do both at the same time or do it alternately cos i can’t seem to come up with ideas to edit on videos most of the time. i can pull off a basic photo editing every time bangtan update something but then that’s about it. so, i found my long lost hobby, writing. i used to write a lot of ideas down in my school days but now that i have my laptop i realize that i become even more lazier to even pour tidbits of ideas. i don’t even find it amusing to just randomly learn something from the internet anymore. i think i’ve change and becoming even more lazier than i am originally was. so, talking about my 2017 resolution. it was made in a daily routine to-do lists as my whole life needs a major organizing. it’s a mess i tell you. eventhough i can’t tell you yet as i haven’t start any of it yet, but i will soon.

ah yes! an update on my health condition. after a few days of taking a steroid for stabilizing the flares of Lupus, my Psoriasis lessen drastically. it seems impossible before but now that i started to diligently take Prednisolone again, it really does stabilize the flares quickly, woah. i hope the effect is long-lasting though. i still need to keep a healthy lifestyle so that my immune system can strengthen itself again. hopefully, with drastic changes of detoxing the laziness in me can help in organize my life back to the right track. best of luck for me~

i decided to keep my personal thoughts here so that i can distinct my fan acc and personal one cos being on twitter for too long sometimes can makes you experience sudden multiple personality.

i must say that i’ve achieved a lot even though it’s so random and so rare for me to force myself to write something unwillingly but i’m glad i dragged my lazy self to type my thoughts out while settle things up before i started. maybe it’s a start of my progression towards detoxing laziness routine. hopefully.

i’m gonna try not to talk about taehyung that much

first of all, congratulations to all seven of them for winning a group awards. it’s a great achievement indeed as they are the most youngest group that’s there. also, congratulations to their diligent and talented dance teacher, choreographer, Mr. Son-Sungdeuk. it’s an overwhelming feeling ever to see the teacher and students winning an award together. Mr. Son must be proud of them :’) they all deserves the award so much and i personally want to thanks all of their hard work all this time. i might saw Mr. Son achievement in only BTS’ perspectives because i’m an army, but i’ve seen that he also do a dance session with people abroad. a diligent person indeed. i am thankful that he took the time to personally teach others on dancing, that itself deserves a recognition. thank you for your passion in teaching choreography and also to create such magnificent choreography too, Mr. Son. 

to the seven boys that’s been my inspiration for two years already, i can’t thank them enough of their dedication on giving only the best. i felt like i owe them something every single time. but they love us (their fans) unconditionally, it’s so heartwarming. words can’t express the level of gratitude i felt right now. the fact that they never leave and would always stay just makes me felt heavy to even close my eyes to sleep. because they vowed to perform even when there’s no fan, i can’t bring myself to get out from this life just yet. i don’t care if this is just a dream or the reality might hurt me a lot, i still want to stay supporting them. all they’ve been doing all these years are to express their thoughts into music and looking at how successful they’ve carved their name to the public is enough prove that they’ve succeed alright. it just ease my mind everyday looking at them being passionate about their career cos they really love what they do. it’s always been inspiring to a person who can’t even decide on a path in life. for that, thank you very much for being an inspiration in my life. every single one of you. i’ve thought of possible scenarios that i might said to each of you if we’ll meet one day but i don’t think i’ll ever get to. i can’t even imagine myself meeting all seven of you, i can’t. it’s overwhelming. i must’ve change my life 360 at that moment to achieve such incredible level of luck. 

okay, i talk out of topic again. but i just have to say something about taehyung sudden change of mood in the picture. he’s obviously tired. he’s not the type to show his weakness but he posed daringly as to convey something happen. he’s not even being clingy to anyone, i found it suspicious. he’s always been clingy. i hope that he’s fine and is asleep well right now. i’m actually still shocked that he post his selca yesterday. he loved armys too much that he can’t worry them. even if that means he should show his weakness, he would do it. that’s what people do for love. he’d lower his ego for his fans, :’) but this being can’t control his expression that well, he’s a bad liar. just like how he pretend to look cool when he’s drunk, he can’t even tolerate with it that well. you’re cool enough just being yourself, kth. 

i didn’t even do much on my tumblr but i’ve decided to do a mass deactivating project so that i can keep my mind on myself for a moment. i realize that getting all these social medias actually help my childhood self to find a temporary getaway from all the unnecessary thoughts, but these all are all only distractions for me. it’ll hurt my internet friends a lot cos i’ve met a lot of great people through the webs and i’m having a lot of hard times while deactivating twitter. cos i’ve spent my whole life as a fangirl there. i’ve started slowly and hoping to learn more on how to delete my existence completely on every where else too. my old self have recklessly make accounts that i don’t even realize it’s still existing there. it’s not a big deal cos i’m not using it anymore but the fact that i’m still trace able in the internet is bothering me for quite awhile and lead my overthinking syndrome getting worse. i might worry a few of my mutuals on twitter tho. i hope everyone can decode the clues i leave them these few days and eventually get their way here cos i’m more comfortable writing long passages rather than just screamed in frustration with limitation of 140 words. (yes, i’m talking about you twitter) i never thought it would be this hard cos i never really am devoted to my social life before. i’m selfish in every possible ways. people are too nice to say the words right at my face. that’s why i forget things easily. i cursed myself a lot too when i forget things in seconds but i realize that it’s my own willingness that makes me forget things easily. i can just remember it for eternity or not to know about it existence at all. i am THAT ignorant. but there’s also this thing called guilt. no matter how cruel i can be to not give a heck about people, i would be burdened with a huge load of guilt. i can just ignore it but it’ll haunt me. i would get nightmares, i can’t sleep for days and became timid. my journey through depression have been a really emotional ride and i think it have came to it’s peak that i can just calmly open up to people on how dumb i used to be back then. i still do. but not as bluntly. the worst i can do now is cursing back. but like i said, it changed me to a very timid person. i felt like cursing, getting mad, screaming from the top of the hills but i’m really afraid. of how people would look at me, on how other’s would judge me, on how the society would standardize me on their scale. i’m one messed up overthinking maniac. i would say this year have been the most progressive year of all but i need to step up my game before october comes. before i get too far off the topic, let me just say that i’m deactivating for only one purpose. to stop creating reasons, to stop getting distracted, to stop overthinking, to find myself again. also, that date is my orientation day. so, i might be quite busy with all the social life and exhilaration of being a student again but i never said i’m gonna quit being a fan. i can never be an ultimate fan but i wish to support my idols on the way they’re teaching us about life.

could it be that WHAT is the representative of the four elements (this is referenced by a card games) 

W - #WINGS (Air)

H - Heal (Earth)

A - Ashes (Fire)

T - Tears (Water)

to elaborate more;

Wings - #SUGA #JK

Heal - #JM #JHOPE

Ashes - 

Tears - 

i’m unsure about the other two elements might represent who but seeing how #WINGS elaborate more on jungkook’s part, i would say it’s a continuation of the hyyh trilogy where yoonkook is a pair. i can’t elaborate more on the element itself but seeing the short film, it’s just hints yoonkook a lot. 

i’m not even sure if H represent Heal but if it does, #jihope might be the next short story to be revealed. cos in the hyyh trilogy, they’re more focused on j-hope. while jimin’s part is quite blurry. again, i can’t quite elaborate on how the elements relate yet but it’ll still be interesting to found out what’s the next title gonna be :3

i’ll update this post once bighit release another continuation of this sequence

[150916] it’s fun while we’re all still in daze to connect the missing pieces. but now that all seven short films are out, i don’t even know how to decode all this cos i haven’t been reading demian at all. and knowing that these short films are based on a writer’s perspective, it might be from this Linn Choi’s take on Hermann Hesse’s Demian. i realize that the book was originally written in german but been translated or summarized into a lot of different languages and views. eventho the quotes are from it’s original writer, but the storyline might based from Linn Choi’s perspective. I still don’t know who she is, but it’s interesting how you can found nothing on this person eventho Demian is one outstanding book. i was lowkey hoping that this person is just a fiction writer that wrote a dramatic angst on how a person can create different versions of themselves while getting through life. because #Awake have kinda answered how everything’s connected in the end, i would say they’re eventually just exist because Jin created them inside his head. in my pov, these short films really gave a huge goosebumps on me especially on Jin’s. cos he’s short film have the most relatable scene with all the others short films. i want to confidently write on a theory but i’m quite busy these few days until my orientation day, so i still have Demian on hold to read. but, i’ll definitely write my thoughts on any update bighit might drop on #WINGS 

#MapleFilter