The voices continued fading in and out and before she knew it, she felt movement. It felt like she was having some sort of outer body experience because while she felt and heard the things going on around her, it also felt like a world away. What if this was some sort of out of body experience? But then, wouldnât that mean sheâs dead? And if so, would she still feel the pain? And suddenly, there was this white light that only grew brighter and brighter and she wasnât sure how to shield her eyes from the light;
âGood morning baby, time to get up.â He looked so peaceful so waking him up felt like a sin. Something she shouldnât be doing, and allowing him the peaceâbut if it wasnât her, then Quinn would be jumping on him in no time. Leaning in, she kissed the tip of his nose before nudging her own nose against him. âYou have approximately seven and a half minutes before Quinn jumps on you and asks for story time.â a grunt was heard on his end and that caused her to smile, but it was enough to have him open his eyes. âFinally, now wake up, we have plans!â Â
âI liked it better when you were waking me up with kisses.â came his own response, and again, all she could do was smile. âWe have every morning for that, but right now breakfast is going to get cold and the beach is waiting for us.â they had planned this out the night before, but Quinn was the one most excited for this beach trip. She said it would give her a chance to talk the baby through swimming once she learned.Â
And as if right on time, the door to their room burst open revealing the the seven year old with two pig tails. âDaddy! Daddy! wake up!â came her excited cheers before she hopped onto the bed and climbed right on top of Xander. Maddie could only laugh at the sight as he rolled over so that he was now looking up at the girl. âI thought you said I had seven minutes.â he teased before reaching out to tickle the young girl. Screams of laughter filled the room and Maddie had to grab her phone to record this moment. It was a beautiful sight, to see the man she loved, happy with their small family. Thatâs all sheâs ever wanted, and to think that she had waited so long to achieve this was her own fault.Â
A bark was heard suddenly as their growing pup joined them on the bed. âNo Oscar! Off, I just washed the sheets.â as the laughter died down, her husband spoke up once more. ââNo, weâre not naming him Oscar. His nameâs Oz. Right?â A cheer was heard from their daughter and the dog barked as if agreeing to it. âThatâs it, youâre definitely sleeping out back tonight.â her voice was stern but she was only joking.Â
âLetâs go, letâs go. Quinn, did you pack your bag with extra towels?â and as expected a shake of her head in response. âGo pack up and iâll double check. Donât wanna miss out on the waves do you?â she questioned and with that being said, she was hurrying off the bed and into her room. âHere, eat.â she was ready to grab the tray of breakfast when Xander had reached for her hand to pull her back. A soft smile played across his lips, and my God, that had to be the best sight sheâs ever seen. âI love you, you know that right?â he asked and all she could do was lean in to kiss him in response. His hand trailed down to her stomach, rubbing her carefully. âI love you, and thatâs why you have to wake upââÂ
Her brows furrowed in confusion as she sat up to look at him, because she was awake so what did he mean? âWake up, or thisââ he gestured towards her pregnant belly ââcanât happen.â Itâs as if she had lost her voice to question what he meant. Instead she heard a steady beep. It was consistent and while she wanted to ask what was happening, the beeping was only growing louder. The roomâher bedroom she was in was going out of focus and the warmth that surrounded her was becoming much colder.Â
And just like that, her eyes shot open, and the pain was much more apparent. The room she was in had been dark and it was cold, which explained why her dream had turned chilly, and the beeping from the monitors explained the beeping in her dream. Her vision was much more blurry, and the room she was being held in was empty; She didnât have to ask what was going on because she remembered everything that had happened. Xander was safe, and she wasâ well, she was okay, but also alone.Â
The sleep was much too strong to fight, so when the door to her room opened, she couldntâ tell who had walked in since her eyes were barely focused. She assumed it may have been the doctor, or a nurse to check in on her and instead of asking about Xander, the only thing that came out of her mouth woudlnât have made sense to anyone. âWeâre naming him Oscar.â Before she had a chance to explain what she meant or even focus on the person that had walked in, she found herself succumbing to the sleep that was overtaking her.Â
It felt like just yesterday that she was finishing her Christmas shopping, so when she opened her eyes to the light covered room, it was a reminder that it had been yesterday. The dull pain was still apparent, but she was less sleepy. No, she wanted to make sure everyone was okay. Maxine, Chris, Xander, they were all there. Her movements were much too slow but she tried sitting up only to let out a hiss when she couldnât exactly sit up just now. âShit.â defeated, she lay back down and wondered how long would it take for anyone to come into the room. She needed her phone just then; And water, she needed a lot of water;
Xander would have loved to say he had been with her every second she was out but that would have been a lie. He rode with her to the hospital- waited those agonizing hours as she was in the operating room with a team of people trying to keep her alive, Emma by his side the entire time. She didnât really understand their relationship, how they were still so close to one another after all this time. He wasnât sure if he could really explain it himself, nor was it a conversation he wanted to get into because she didnât need to know about the details of what Maddie meant to him. It was complicated and a little messy but mostly, it was personal.Â
He had left. He had to in order to take Emma home after Madison was brought to a room to begin her recovery after she was given the clear and he was informed that she had gotten through the worst of it. He wasnât there when she had woken up, passed the doctor who had attended to her on his way back in with a much-needed cup of coffee in hand. His heart broke a little knowing she had woken up to an empty room with no one around her.Â
Green eyes landed on the woman, her complexion still pale, her hair dull- she looked like she had gone through hell and back and he was sure she had. A smile formed on his face as he stood in the doorway just looking at the woman he loved- would always love no matter where they were in life. She was breathing, she was awake, and she was still full of that light that always seemed to radiate off of her. Even now her presence filled the entire room like a beacon calling him towards her âYou look goodâ he commented with a teasing tone, stepping into the room as he got her attention.Â
He walked across, grabbing the chair he had been in earlier and pulling it closer to her bedside âI would have brought you a coffee too but I wasnât sure when youâd be waking up. Emma needed to head outâ he paused, placing his cup on the table beside her and wrapping his warm hand around hers. He squeezed, maybe a little too tight, letting his motions speak words he couldnât. Telling her in their silence how worried he had been despite the grin on his face- how he felt himself die twenty times over thinking about her laying on that cold, metal, surgery table. How much he loved and needed her to stay. His hands were still stained with her blood, his coat and jeans the same as he sat there contemplating the past twenty-four hours and how much had changed in that time âYouâre an idiot, you know that right? Donât you ever put your life over mine again, you hear me?â