caffeinatedcigarettes

basically

i have been really ill. really really ill. in this pregnancy i have been diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, SPD and various other things which are basically telling me my body is fucked forever and i have a 30% chance of dying if i follow a natural labour. no home birth for me.

i have been stressed with a whole load of crap, my fiance's ex has made access to his sons a living hell and now we are in the process of dragging the bitch through court so he can see them on a saturday. one of his sons he hasn't met at all. not once. but she still demands he pay child support. to top it all off last week she said he wasn't their father. so is DNA proves this, then we're in court again getting all the child support he's paid her back and blah blah.

my friendships with certain people have dwindled to nothing. and again we've all been busy. but to be honest i just think they don't want to be my friend because i no longer fit in with their "hipster" ideals. so basically fuck them. FUCK THEM. they're just shallow and meaningless. 

my wedding date is set. but we're not telling anyone till after the baby is born and after court is sorted, hopefully before the day. if not, it'll be postponed. Tom wants his sons there. 

Uni is just something i'm going to have a nightmare with next year. but i'll try my best to get a 2:1. 

the house is nearly finished. at long last.

maybe

i don't know

got to talk to a programs advisor

apparently being in hospital isn't mitigating