but god, even stars die

The past half year had carried nothing with it but a surprising bout of normalcy. So it perplexed him to hear that he had been barred from someone who he did not even remember meeting. Desperation curled around his biceps and chest, coiling and pulling him toward the male in a relentless hold. He was helpless against the others pleas. His hands came up to bury in silky strands as he pulled Daehyun closer and molded his lips to the younger’s. For a second, his mind was filled with pure peace and bliss, and then he broke from the spell wrapped around him. Leo pulled back and let go of the male, slowly backing away from him. “What…what are you doing to me?”

Without the support of the other, he slowly crumpled to the ground, knees pulled up to his chest. Ragged sobs tore his throat, and Daehyun allowed himself to be consumed by misery. Leo probably thought of him as pathetic; a drunken employee stumbling into his bosses office and rambling about crazy things, about a relationship that they didnt have. He should leave. He should accept defeat and go home and try to convince himself that he could move on, that Leo was happy the way things were. At the moment, all he could do was cry. 

While his mind retained his normal cool clarity, there was a piece that retreated further into him, as though running away. The logical response would be that the bartender was drunk and didn’t know what he was mumbling about, but Leo couldn’t bring himself to say that.  All he desired was to wipe away the beginning tears and reassure Daehyun that he hadn’t forgotten, but he sensed it would be an empty lie. Leo’s lips parted as if to answer, but nothing came. Frozen, all he could do was gaze down into the hazed, yet emotional eyes.  

“I wanted to contact you, but my brothers wouldn’t let me. They wouldn’t let me come back to Earth. They didn’t want me to talk to anyone, hyung. I would have called if I could.” The time away from the elder was one of the hardest things he had been through. Being removed from his loved ones and placed in an unfamiliar setting with no one but his brothers had changed him, but not his feelings. Not the loyalty and love he still had for him. Even if Leo couldn’t remember, he needed him to know. “I- I- Please.” The last word had barely passed his lips before he was leaning up to kiss the other hard, leaning on him for support. “Please, Leo. Please.” 

Ada Limón, from “Lashed to the Helm, All Stiff and Stark,” Bright Dead Things (via mythaelogy)

The sight that greeted was worrisome to say the least. With a frown, he rounded the desk and stopped just short of the slumped over male, arms half raising as if to help, but halting after a moment. “Daehyun-sshi?” Now that he was so close to the male he could smell the overpowering reek of alcohol. It suggested that the younger male had downed more than his fair share of booze, and then some. “Daehyun-sshi, what are you doing here?.” Finally reaching out, he carefully grasped the man’s arms as a sort of support to what seemed like a rather precarious battle of balance.

And more than anything, he missed. He missed the security of knowing someone loved him, and having someone he could always turn to. It wasn’t fair. "You forgot about me.” Unconsciously, his fingers gripped the soft material of the others shirt, pulling him closer and keeping him there as he took a heavy, shuddering breath. His eyelashes were wet with tears when he looked up to meet Leo’s eyes, lower lip jutting out slightly. “You said...you said you’d never leave me.”

Carefully observing the odd behavior as the young male sought to end the conversation, he nodded. “Of course. Come in a little early to check your station if you can, but it should be fine. Thank you for stopping by, Daehyun.” Leo tested the name on his lips, rolling it on his tongue subtly, and found that he quite liked the way it tasted. He didn’t know exactly why he did what he did next, but his hand was reaching out in the purpose of a handshake. This whole thing was hard to swallow, and there were so many questions perching just on the edge of his lips, but he held back. Once his employee had left, he could seek to sate his questions. 

“Oh, I will.” Daehyun was eager to catch up with the rest of his co-workers, who were undoubtedly curious about his unexpected disappearance. There was a sense of teamwork and friendship that he loved about the club; different from what he experienced at the spa, but enjoyable nevertheless. Without letting his small smile fade from his lips, he bowed low to the elder and then turned on his heel, quickly exiting. Only once the door had closed behind him did it crumble.

For the barest of moments, he recalled the dream in which the sun had blinded him and the mysterious man stayed hidden from him. It was just a dream though and the person standing in front of him had an entirely different air than the one in the memory. Today was full of surprises and he accepted that it would continue to live up to expectations. “I’m sorry?” Leo’s head cocked as he let his gaze wander along the male, head to toe. His eyes lingered on the hands that were slighter smaller than his own, and the beautifully sculpted lips that fitted perfectly into the male’s features. “Have we met before? I am terribly sorry, but I do not recall making your acquaintance.” He believed he would remembered meeting such a man. Leo didn’t think he had ever seen the likes of the stranger ever before and he couldn’t seem to tear himself away. 

“I’m Daehyun. I’m...” Catching his lower lip between his teeth, he had to debate how to finish his sentence. His lover? Not anymore. “I’m a bartender here, remember?” He tried. “I went on vacation and you told me to check in with you when I came back.” It was a flimsy cover, especially after the way he had thrown himself at the elder, but the most plausible excuse that he could come up with at the moment. Every part of him yearned to be closer to Leo, to be back in his arms, to make up for the time that he was away. It was almost a physical pressure, building inside his chest and pushing him towards the male. Scuffing the toe of his shoe against the hardwood floor, he managed a weak smile. “I guess that’s it. I just came to tell you that I’m back, and I’ll be working again starting tomorrow. Is that okay?”

Clarice Lispector, from Água Viva (via violentwavesofemotion)

As soon as the male called him Hyung, a bird fluttered in his chest even as he grew increasingly confused. His body was reacting, when he himself was not. Blinking against the flurry of words from the other’s mouth, it was all he could do to keep up, much less process anything past that. Warmth spread up from where slim yet strong fingers curled against his own, the pleasant heat creeping up his arm slowly but surely. “I believe you have the wrong person.” Fighting against the urge to hold on tighter or comfort against the threatening tears, he gently pulled from the males grasp. “Invite him inside.” Whispered Taekwoon. Although he did not know why, he complied with his other half and opened the door wider, stepping back a little to allow room with a smile. “Won’t you please come in? I’m sure we can figure this out.”

“I don’t!” His voice was louder than he had expected, a flush rising to his cheeks. If Leo truly didn’t remember him, then someone must have tampered with the elders mind to make him forget every single moment that they had together. Every kiss, every word, every fight and make up. And the only people he knew that were powerful enough to do so were his brothers. Standing in the doorway, Daehyun was torn between leaving or accepting the invitation. It hurt to have Leo treat him as a stranger, without the warm smile and kind eyes he had become used to, but he also craved to just be in the elders presence. After a moment of indecision, he slowly stepped into the office. His eyes scanned the desk for any remainder of his presence -- cards, pictures, drawings -- but Leo’s desk was barren of any reminders of him. He spun on his heel to face the other. “Do you really not remember me? Nothing? Do you even know my name?”

Mildly disoriented, it took a moment before he realized that he had fallen asleep at his desk and that someone was at the door. Shaking the vestiges of the dream off, he rose and made his way to the door, fingers halting just short of the doorknob. Power emanated from the other side, along with something familiar and out of reach. Half expecting the door not to open like those in his dreams, he pulled the knob and opened the door to reveal a breathtaking young male. His brow furrowed before his features smoothed out and he gave the newcomer a light smile. “May I help you?”

“Hyung?” he breathed, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Don’t be mean, please. I’m sorry for leaving, and missing Christmas and your birthday and everything.” Reaching out a hand, Daehyun grasped the slightly larger one in his own and squeezed it tightly. “Please, hyung. I’m sorry, okay? My brothers... they wouldn’t let me contact you. I wasn’t even on Earth.” Every word became softer and more desperate, tears welling up in his eyes unbidden. Of course he knew that there would be some sort of fallout from his disappearance, but he had expected anger or disappointment. Not this. Not the strange aloofness. 

© BusanBoy | Do not edit!

“and the universe said…”

Especially since none of them knew, which side would Xaphan choose in the end.

          “Besides, you promised to protect me when you became my master. If you’re saying it                  isn’t wise for me to stay because you fear I’ll get hurt, which I’m pretty sure you don’t                    really care about, it’s your duty to make sure I don’t.”