AL

Kahit saan ako magpunta,

Hindi ka na nawala sa isip

Bigla 'kong masasambit

Bigla akong mapapatigil

Maaalalang paborito mo itong kainin

Paborito mo itong gawin

Madaraanan ang mga lugar kung saan kita nakasama

Maalala ang nararamdaman, sabik na sabik akong sayo'y tumakbo papalapit.

Maglalakad mag isa

Sandaling masaya

Maya maya'y umaagos na naman ang mga luha

Hindi mo na ako mahal, pero ba't mahal parin kita.

-a.a1997

Lalayo, upang ika'y tuluyang maging malaya mula sa akin.

Lalayo sa kabila ng pananabik na makasama ka.

Lalayo, sa kabila ng sakit na madarama.

Lalayo, kahit mahal na mahal kita.

September 3, 2018

Anyone who falls for you can look at you like you mean the universe to them

But seldom can choose you when the battles and collisions begin.

I didnt fall for you

I chose you

I chose to love you

I chose every single moment of crying and smiling with you

I chose you every time our battles were raging in

I chose to knock on your door and say let’s try again

I chose to stay because maybe then, you will not fall back to me again, you’ll choose and fight for me instead.

October 22, 2018

Afraid

Yes. I am afraid. Afraid that each day that passes without our conversations and presence, your love for me vanishes. Your feelings are eventually changing. Where you won’t miss me anymore. You won’t need to see me because you can already let the days pass without the thoughts of me. And here I am loving you still, loving you patiently, loving you silently, without having a hold of you coming back to me. I am so afraid. I am so afraid of the thought that, once there was a person who loved me so genuinely, and then one day she changed her mind and left me.

November 4, 2018

‘Wag ka nang masyadong magsayang ng oras sakin, sabi mo.

Mas masasayang kapag hindi ko sinubukan.

Mas natatakot akong mabuhay nang nagtatanong sa sarili na kung sinubukan ko noon, bumalik ka kaya?

Kung hindi ko susubukan, hindi ko malalaman ang sagot.

Oo natatakot ako. Takot na takot ako.

Nakakatakot na hindi mabigyan ng pagkakataon.

Nakakatakot na, sumuko ako sa dapat ipinaglaban ko pa lalo.

Nakakatakot na baka huli na ang lahat.

Nakakatakot makita ka sa piling ng iba.

Hindi man ngayon, pero sa mga hinaharap.

Takot na takot ako mahal.

Pero, kung babalik ka man, hindi dahil sa mga binibigkas ng utak ko.

Kundi dahil, mahal mo ako.

At takot naring hindi ikaw ang makasama ko.

Sige lang mahal, malaya ka na. Dahil hindi ka pagmamay ari ng kung sino man. At kahit na ako, ay hindi ka dapat angkinin. Sarili mo lamang ang may karapatan. Ipaparamdam ko sayo kung gaano kita kamahal.

Kahit walang kasiguraduhan.

Kahit may dumating man na magpapasaya sayo ng biglaan.

Dahil ganon mo rin ako minahal. 🌺

Mananahimik

Itatago ang sakit.

Itatago ang sakit na halos mawalan ng paghinga.

Dahil nangakong hindi ka pipigilang sumaya.

Mahal na mahal kita.

Kahit ako sayo ay hindi na.

And still, you're not here.

Yet, I still lose.

May I never keep you from being happy.

Even if it would hurt.

Even if it's going to be a place, a thing, an experience, or even a person.

May I never keep you from that happiness in doing the things you ever wanted.

May I never keep you from a bright future

Even if it doesn't include me no more

Even if the only place I belong to in your life

Would be forever in the past.

Still, I trust. Still, I hope. Still, I pray

To Millions of stars and to Him who prevails

May I never keep you from being happy

May I still find happiness even if you've been taken away from me and

I couldn't make you stay.

Sapat ka na, mahal.

Hindi na maghahanap ng iba.

Sapat ka, pagmamahal mo'ng habangbuhay ko'ng dala-dala

Mahal kita.

Mahal na mahal kita. Ibibigkas sa kalawakan.

Maghihintay sa pagbabalik

Maghihintay sa iyong mga ngiti

Maghihintay at hindi na iiwang muli.

Who could love me on my darkest hours.

Who could stay.

Who do I deserve.

Why do I still love you.

Even when you've already given up on me.

I'm sorry If I wear my emotions on my sleeve. How I'd be willing to always give my honesty.

22nd July 2019