Living with Crotch Goblins

The Week My New Job Kicked My Ass… But I’m Still Standing 🖤📦

This week has been a whirlwind. A good whirlwind, but a whirlwind nonetheless.

When I got promoted to Merchandise Manager, I was so excited. This was a huge step for me. After everything I have been through, the setbacks, the stress, and having to start over, this promotion felt like proof that I was moving forward. The raise, the title, the responsibility — it all meant something. It meant I was building a better future for myself and my kids.

What I didn’t fully prepare for was just how much this new role was going to test me physically.

This job has kicked my ass the past four days. 😂

Truck days are no joke. I unloaded a 2,200-piece truck, and then over the next couple of days I helped unload and work through around 350 more boxes. I spend hours lifting, moving, pushing, pulling, bending, and walking on concrete tile floors.

I have two other people who help unload the truck, but realistically, only one is consistently reliable. I do delegate tasks because I know that is part of being a manager, but I also have a huge responsibility because I am the one making sure the merchandise gets out onto the floor.

The job is not just moving boxes. It is planning. It is organizing. It is keeping everything moving. It is making sure the store is ready.

And my body definitely noticed.

My feet started burning, especially my right foot. It was a tingling, burning feeling right in my arch near my heel. My arms and the backs of my legs were sore too, but my foot was the biggest complaint. After hours of standing and walking on hard floors in the same Walmart sneakers I have been wearing for about six months, my body finally said, “Hey… maybe we should talk.” 😂

The funny thing is, once I got home and actually sat down for a while, the burning stopped. My legs loosened up. My arms felt better. My body was finally getting a chance to recover.

Today, I left work at 4:15 PM, and after a long, exhausting few days, I got a little reminder that I don’t always have to do everything alone.

Ron picked me up, and we went to Walmart. After that, I went to his mom’s house, and she gave me the most delicious homemade meal. She made stuffed cabbage, mashed potatoes, and corn, along with a piece of pineapple upside-down cake.

It was such a comforting meal after everything my body had been through. I ate it in the car on the way back to my house, and honestly, it was exactly what I needed.

After that, we picked up TJ and went to Daisy’s Ice Cream. TJ got two pretzels with cheese, and he shared them with Ron and me. It was such a simple little moment, but those are the moments that mean the most — just sitting together, sharing food, and enjoying time together.

Then we came home.

The problem is, when I get home, my day doesn’t really end.

I am the only adult in my house.

That means when I walk through the door after an exhausting shift, there are still responsibilities waiting for me. There are kids to take care of, things that need cleaned, laundry, errands, and everything else that comes with running a household.

I don’t really get to come home and just collapse.

I jump right back in.

And I realized something about myself — I forget to stop. I forget to take my lunch at work sometimes because I get so focused on getting things done. I care about my job. I care about doing things right. I care about making sure everything is handled.

But I also have to remember that I am human.

Tonight was different though.

Tonight felt peaceful.

After everything I have been carrying, I came home and still got things accomplished. I sorted and bagged all the dirty clothes for the laundromat. I cleaned up clutter. I mopped the floors. I took out the trash.

I even put together my new heavy-duty Bissell vacuum that I bought from Walmart after work. There is something satisfying about getting a new cleaning tool and feeling like you are taking another step toward making your home feel better.

And then, for once, the house was calm.

MaKenzie went to her friend’s house for the night.

Simon was sleeping.

Ricky was in his room minding his own business.

And TJ had a really good day.

That last one means a lot.

After the difficult moments and stressful days we have had, seeing TJ have a good day felt like a huge victory. Those quiet, peaceful moments are the ones I appreciate the most because I know how quickly things can become overwhelming.

And now here I am.

Sitting on my couch.

Watching the original Scream from 1996.

My feet are no longer burning. My arms and legs aren’t sore anymore. The house feels cleaner. The laundry is ready for tomorrow.

And yes… the dishes are still dirty.

But you know what?

That’s okay.

Not everything has to be finished in one night.

Sometimes taking care of yourself means knowing when to stop.

This new chapter of my life is exhausting, but it is also exciting. I am learning what it means to step into a leadership role. I am learning how to balance responsibility, work, and home. I am learning that being strong doesn’t mean I never get tired.

It means I keep going.

It means I adapt.

It means I keep building.

I have spent so much of my life fighting through hard things. Now I am fighting for something better — a better life, a better home, and a better future for my kids.

Tonight, I am choosing to appreciate the little things.

A quiet house.

A good day with TJ.

A caring moment with Ron and his family.

A home that feels more peaceful.

A clean floor.

A new vacuum.

A scary movie.

A moment to breathe.

Tomorrow I will tackle the laundry.

But tonight?

The last few days have reminded me just how quickly life can change. In the span of four days, I've experienced some of the happiest moments of my career, one of the saddest moments as a mother, wonderful memories with my children, and the excitement of looking toward a future that suddenly feels brighter than it did just a week ago.

On Monday, July 20th, I had the day off from work. Instead of worrying about bills, work, or everything else life throws at me, I spent the day doing something that matters most—making memories with my kids.

I took Simon, TJ, and MaKenzie to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. Ricky decided at the last minute that he didn't want to go, which was disappointing, but I respected his decision. The rest of us had an amazing day together. We walked around for hours looking at the animals, laughing, talking, and just enjoying each other's company. Watching the kids smile reminded me that sometimes the best days aren't the expensive ones—they're simply the days we're together.

As a mom, those are the moments I hold onto.

The next day, Tuesday, July 21st, became a day I will never forget.

That morning, I received news that completely changed my career. I was officially promoted to Merchandise Manager at my store.

After everything I've been through over the past couple of years—the stress, the setbacks, changing jobs, wondering if things would ever get easier—it finally felt like someone noticed how hard I've been working. This promotion isn't just a new title. It comes with a $5.00 per hour raise, and that is truly life-changing for my family.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could finally breathe.

I have spent so much of my life simply trying to survive. Working paycheck to paycheck, worrying about whether there would be enough money, trying to provide for four kids while carrying the weight of so many responsibilities. This promotion feels like the beginning of a new chapter.

I already have so many plans.

I want to build a savings account instead of living from one paycheck to the next. I want to pay off bills, prepare for emergencies, and finally have a financial cushion. I want to continue saving for my Halloween wedding in 2027 without constantly stressing over every dollar. I want to lose weight, become healthier, and continue building a better future for myself.

Most importantly, I want to give my children the life they deserve.

I want to be able to take them places without worrying about whether I can afford it. I want birthdays to feel a little more special. I want Christmas to be less stressful. I want to say "yes" more often instead of having to explain why we have to wait.

This promotion isn't just about me.

It's about every sacrifice I've made.

It's about every long shift.

Every U-Boat.

Every heavy box.

Every sore muscle.

Every late night.

Every time I wanted to give up but kept going anyway.

Hard work really does pay off.

Unfortunately, just a few hours after receiving the happiest news of my career, life reminded me that joy and heartbreak can exist in the very same day.

Later that afternoon, I had to take MaKenzie to the hospital.

After being evaluated, we learned that she had suffered an early miscarriage.

As a mother, there are some kinds of pain you simply cannot fix. Watching your child hurt is one of them.

My heart absolutely shattered for her.

No parent wants to hear that kind of news or watch their child experience that level of emotional and physical pain. I wish I could have taken it away from her. All I could do was hold her hand, comfort her, and remind her that she isn't alone.

It was strange how one day could contain the highest high and the lowest low.

I celebrated one of the biggest accomplishments of my working life while grieving alongside my daughter.

Life has a way of reminding us that happiness and sadness don't take turns. Sometimes they arrive together.

On Wednesday, July 22nd, it was back to work.

Now that I'm a Merchandise Manager, I wanted to continue proving that I earned this opportunity.

I completed five U-Boats, stocking approximately 140 boxes throughout my shift. I also worked alongside the District Traveling Team to clear out the huge trailer behind the store. It was exhausting work, but I didn't mind.

Every box I stocked reminded me why I earned this promotion.

I wasn't just doing a job.

I was building a future.

Today, Thursday, July 23rd, I had another day off.

This morning I took Ricky to get his haircut, and TJ came along with us. Afterward we took an Uber over to Steelyard Commons and grabbed lunch at Burger King. We spent a little time walking around Walmart picking up a few things we needed before stopping at GameStop so the boys could pick out a few games.

Sometimes the simplest days end up being the best ones.

We finally made it home around 2:45 this afternoon. I started cleaning the house because that's just what moms do—even on our days off, there is always something that needs to be done.

By a little after 3:15 p.m., I finally decided to sit down and take a break.

As I sat there looking around the house, I couldn't help but think about how much has happened in such a short amount of time.

Just a few days ago I was simply hoping things would get better.

Now I'm sitting here with a brand-new job title, a significant raise, exciting goals, and hope for the future.

There will still be hard days.

Bills will still come.

The kids will still test my patience.

Life will continue throwing challenges my way.

But something feels different now.

For the first time in a long time, I truly believe I'm moving forward instead of just trying to stay afloat.

I'm proud of how far I've come.

I'm proud that I never gave up.

I'm proud that my hard work was finally recognized.

Most of all, I'm excited about what comes next.

This promotion isn't the finish line.

It's the beginning of something bigger.

It's the beginning of giving my children a more stable home, creating lasting memories, building financial security, and showing my kids that even after life's hardest seasons, better days really can come.

Here's to new beginnings, new opportunities, and believing that the best chapters of my story are still waiting to be written.

🖤 Happy Monday 🦋🎶

A new week. A new playlist. A new chance to keep moving forward—even when life feels a little heavier than usual.

Find beauty in the dark, strength in the scars, and comfort in the songs that say what your heart can't always put into words. Stay wild, stay authentic, and never let the world convince you to dim your light.

"The hardest part of ending is starting again." 🖤

Here's to hot tea, ice-cold Cherry Coke, skateboards, butterflies, and the music that keeps us standing when everything else falls apart.

9 years ago today, the world lost Chester. 🖤

It’s hard to believe it has been that long since hearing your voice, seeing your smile, and sharing moments that I’ll always carry with me. You were so much more than a singer — you were a friend, a human being with a heart, and someone who touched so many lives.

I hope you know how loved and missed you are. Your music, your kindness, and the memories will always remain.

9 years ago today, the world lost Chester. 🖤

It’s hard to believe it has been that long since hearing your voice, seeing your smile, and sharing moments that I’ll always carry with me. You were so much more than a singer — you were a friend, a human being with a heart, and someone who touched so many lives.

I hope you know how loved and missed you are. Your music, your kindness, and the memories will always remain.

Chester, 9 years ago, your struggles took you from this world, and it still feels unreal that so much time has passed.

It’s strange to think about how long it’s been since I’ve gotten one of your funny texts, a random video call, or one of those little moments that always made me smile.

I know you and Seth are up there together, probably causing some kind of mischief and making everyone laugh like you always did. ❤️

I miss you every single day. Time may keep moving forward, but the memories, the laughter, and the love never fade.

🖤🌙 Happy Sunday… Late Night Thoughts 🌙🖤

As this Sunday comes to an end, I’m sitting here thinking about how much life can change. The storms I’ve survived, the battles nobody saw, and the pieces of myself I had to rebuild when I thought I couldn’t.

I may not have a perfect story, but I have a powerful one. 🦋 I’m still standing. Still healing. Still growing. Still becoming the person I was always meant to be.

Some hearts are made of sunshine… mine was forged in the moonlight. 🌙🖤 A little dark, a little wild, a little broken, but full of love, loyalty, and a strength that refuses to disappear.

Satisfy Your Soul, Not Society 🖤🌙

I stopped living for the approval of people who never carried my battles.

My scars tell a story of survival. My heart knows the storms I’ve walked through. I will no longer shrink myself to make others comfortable.

Let them whisper. Let them judge.

The moon doesn’t change its glow for the darkness, and neither will I.

I choose my peace. I choose my happiness. I choose myself.

Rule Number One: Fuck What They Think.

I was never meant to be understood by those who only saw the surface. They judged the ashes, but they never asked what burned. They whispered about my darkness, but they never walked through the hell that created it.

I have survived storms that would have buried weaker souls. I have danced with demons, fought shadows, and crawled out of places where I was never supposed to survive.

So let them talk. Let them stare. Let them write their little stories about me.

They don’t know the battles I won in silence. They don’t know the nights I cried, the wounds I hid, or the strength it took to rise again.

I am not made of glass. I am made of scars, storms, moonlight, and fire.

My crown was forged in the darkness. My soul was sharpened by survival.