ferrari

Despite the size of the city, she had to run into him, as if fate was mocking her luck; but she pondered whether it was good luck or not. Standing so close to him after months of separation made her feel nervous inside, the butterflies rattled from the pit of her stomach to the crown of her head. As the cigarette remained between his lips, Lux couldn’t stop her teeth from nipping onto the inside of her lip, it had been months since she smoked. ‘Toxins on a stick’ she would constantly tell Noah, although she would pull a few drags when she’d be tangled up in his bed sheets, her creamy skin concealed by the crispy bed sheets that held no heat. It had been months since she had seen him, months since she smoked. He was her toxins. The sound of the old nickname caused her heart to skip a beat, no matter how much she wanted to ignore the silly old pet name, it made her giddy enough to crack a small smile, her head rolling in sync with her eyes, blonde hair swept along her shoulders before her gaze fell on him again; dark hazel orbs under the New York lights, hair with gel that was always a bit too much and sandy stubble that use to prick under her finger tips. “Takes over? My intentions are far from dictatorship, Noah” she mused back before looking over her shoulder, her eyes falling on all sorts of life that roamed the city. There were those who paraded their wealth, others who envied it and the rest got on with their day to day lives with ease. Lux didn’t fall into those categories. She was a rusty screwdriver in a shiny new tool box, or else she was the pearl clam in a bed of seaweed. In a classed society, she was classless.

The confession took her by surprise, his words pulled the hairs of her thick brows to rise in wonder, her money was bet on the hot dog but he surprised her. The smell of smoke around them was inhaled briefly,an old taste, and memories came back swiftly of their stolen nights away where they’d drive into the morning, skipping from town to town restlessly until it was sunrise and Lux would pull out her camera, getting the lapping rise of orange, pinks and splashes of gold. “I pegged you for the hot dog” she admitted with a small smirk, her hand slowly reaching the postcard as she took in the sight of the statue. Whatever she had drank in the SUV and at her father’s apartment had worn off now, the thick crispy air had sober her up faster than any glass of water had. She didn’t dare flip the postcard, she could feel the digs of a pen under her fingertips so she averted her attention to the card, taking in the simply peaceful photo. The thoughts of her company had been evicted by old tales and thoughts, the post card instantly shot her mind back to Africa. They didn’t end well but that didn’t stop her from wanted to write to him. And she did. Three pages of confessions, anger, sadness, happiness and current events took only an hour to write and seconds to burn. She wanted to write, but her hand shook so nervously her own delicate and virtue signature was not hers. “I’ll have to get one before I leave” she admitted before handing the card back to him, their skin brushing lightly yet she felt she was shocked by lightening. What was Lux doing in New York? It wasn’t her scene. She was better quipped for the calm Los Angeles nights that rare came around in her lifestyle. She was built for college parties, drinking from red plastic cups and playing beer pong in jeans and a simple top - not champagne glasses, hundred dollar dresses or VIP tables. “I was at Julliard…early auditions for their summer program” admitting sheepishly, Lux shrugged her shoulders with the information - she hated talking about ballet, it was hers, not something her parents could toy about. Noah had his passion for boxing, Lux has her ballet. At the mild suggestion, Lux remembered the crowd behind her, who also forgot her as they continued to make their way up the queue, but she couldn’t care less. She wasn’t in the mood for elitist drinking or judgmental bitching. “They’re not so bad” she muttered, not sure whether she was convincing herself that or answering Noah. Turning her head to him, she could feel the smile on her painted lips, a smile that was warmer than the last. “I had to have some sort of tour guide around here” she admitted with a chuckle, almost giving into her stubborn mind that was usually wrecked by their self-centered chatting.

The contrast between Noah and Lux was painfully overbearing. To Noah, Lux had always possessed some kind of purity or light he’d never known before. Despite her unruly attitude and the recklessness they both shared, Noah was almost sure that Lux’s very soul was woven with strands of gold. She was all the good he knew in this world. Lux with Noah was the equivalent of sunshine fighting its way through the clouds after a thunderstorm. His touch was lethal – everything he touched, he ruined. His heart was made of blood and tar and he hadn’t quite known it any other way. Ever since he was a boy, any chance of light seeping in through the crack was diminished. First by the physical bruises his father left on him, and then by the emotional bruises his mother did long after him. He was a burden to everyone around him when he was a child and grew up to be a burden to anyone who dared to come near him. He left claw marks on everything he touched. Many had tried to bridge their way over to Noah, but no one got quite as close as Lux did. He wasn’t foreign to the touch of women, but hers was different. She touched him like she knew something no one else did, but he knew that if she stuck around, her downfall would be inevitable. There were too many almost’s when it came to Noah and Lux’s story. ‘Almost’ is never enough – it wasn’t enough to make Noah stay. Not when he knew that he would drag her down to hell with him and she would hold his hand the entire way down. She cared too much. More than he ever deserved. With the corner of his lip quirking up, Noah pulled the unlit cigarette away from his lips and placed it right above his ear “No?” he started, “What’s the plan, then? Anarchism? Because if there’s one thing I remember about you, it’s your undeniable intrigue by it”. That was a lie. He remembered many things about Lux, things she wouldn’t realise he did. Things he collected in his memory and kept for safekeeping.

Noah couldn’t decide whether he hated or loved New York. The city was a vast labyrinth of noisy streets and alleys, complementary to the restless New Yorkers who always seemed to be running. He didn’t know a city was capable of making someone feel hectic before, and he couldn’t decide whether he loved that or completely hated it. Pushing the bar door open, Noah stepped out into the harsh bite of the cold weather. Pushing his blond hair away from his eyes, Noah stood on the very edge of a curb and sifted through his back pocket for the pack of cigarettes. Perching the cigarette between his lips, Noah searched his pockets for a lighter as he watched a black SUV park a few feet away from him with the muffled bar music still audible from his standpoint. The car door pushed open and a man and a woman no older than twenty five sloppily stumbled out of the car, limbs tangled with one another as they laughed at their gawkiness and attempted to stand upright. Almost immediately, Noah knew exactly what kind of people they were. And maybe it was presumptuous of him, but he hadn’t ever known it any other way. There were people who had it way too easy in life, and then there were people like Noah.

confirm.