Last dance with Mary Jane

Wren shrugged. “I know people. Or, more accurately, I know how to find what I’m looking for.”

“Interesting.” Wyatt had to admit, people who took charge and didn’t let life walk all over them were the kind of people he liked. “That’s an impressive trait to have. I admire that.”

“Don’t give me that look,” Phoebe murmured, rolling her eyes. She’d smoke a bit before and ingested edibles a lot more during her formative high school years. Only at parties, really, but it still counted. “Thanks,” she replied, taking a puff from the rolled up blunt that now rested between her fingers. “Why do you look so surprised?”

Wyatt crossed his eyes and looked in her direction. “Is this better? Or--” He kept one crossed while the other moved. “This?” He squinted his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose until the stinging went away. “I’m not surprised that you wanted some, just that you wanted to smoke with me.” He reached over, taking the blunt from her before bringing to his lips. “Then again, I guess it is the end of the world. Anything could happen. Might be hit in the head tomorrow with a flying pig.” He glanced at her. “How are you holding up with everything?”

“Well, I like how you think. I’ll probably stick to tequila, though.”

“You must be damn near crazy to utter those words. This town is stuck in the ‘30s or something. Everything is taboo.”

You’re welcome to visit Chez Matthews, where the nights are long and the kush is strong.

Wyatt laughed. “That’s a good way to be. Who’s your dealer?” 

Phoebe: You're probably right. The morbidity has surpassed us.

Phoebe: Yeah, but it's gonna be gross, 1-star rated food. From a gas station. Gas station sushi.

“I’m with you, Wy. Wanna share?

Wyatt eyed his sister, contemplating on whether or not she was being serious. Finally, he handed over a joint. “Smoke up, Johnny.”

Z: You'll want to hear what we have to say.

Z: Your poor dad would probably drop dead on the spot if he heard what his only son was up to. :)

New phone, who dis?

The sun had just set and the sky was still a mixture of colors as Wyatt headed off to his secret meeting place with Emmeline--really it was just outside of the local diner, but Wyatt had a very active imagination. He saw the blonde already waiting for him and began tip-toeing, trying to be as sneaky as he could like he was in a Mission Impossible movie. “Target acquired,” he said to himself. He snuck behind a trash can and crouched down, looking in every direction before proceeding. He was dressed in black from head to toe and even had some grease on his cheekbones. As he grew closer to the girl, he tucked and rolled, landing at her feet before jumping to his own. “Alright, let’s go save a dog.” He straightened up his shirt and offered her his arm as he began leading her off the sidewalk, acting as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened and he hadn’t just been acting like a video game character.

Oh, yes chicken strips. With ranch. Or maybe that’s just me. You can, obviously, have them with whatever you want. Oh so it’s a designer dog…little dogs can be absurdly aggressive at times. When will operation rescue commence?

How about tonight once night hits? Gotta do it right and sneak around like shadows in the night.

I love pizza. Though honestly I like the cheese the best. You could be helping me to help the dog but, then again, you would have to at least think the person you were helping steal a dog is a good person or else you wouldn’t want that dog with them. I don’t know if you can follow that train of thought but if you can, well, you deserve wings with your pizza. Ah, what kind of dog is it? 

Pizza is the best thing in the world, honestly. I actually followed that. Can we get chicken strips instead? I’m not the biggest wings fan. I think she called it a maltipoo? I don’t really remember. One of those little ones. He’s cute, but hates me. Sees me coming and growls. 

People do suck. Just stick to liking me and you’ll be fine. I’ll buy you food and let you pet my dog. Basically the best kind of person. Yeah, being raised in a dog home tends to create a bias. Puppies are good for cuddling, when you’re lonely, or when you want some company so I get it.

You had me at food, honestly. It’s amazing what I would do for a pizza. The dog is just a bonus. To be fair, though, I wouldn’t be helping you steal a dog if I didn’t like you. Yes, they are. Except my sister’s dog. We don’t get along.

Oh, no disagreement here. They just want love and loyalty. What’s so bad about that? Nah, no puns for me. I just don’t feel like I could do puns justice. Ah, yes, cats are like people…you’ve got to meet the right people or you end up hating them all because of some assholes.

People suck. I think punny names are just overrated. We get it, you have a dog and dogs go woof. You don’t have to put it in their name. I like cats more than people, so they’re already doing something right. My family has only really had dogs, so I guess that’s part of it.

Phoebe: You're right. I'm your sister.

Phoebe: Okay, now we're getting a little morbid. Maybe we should put a pin in this.

Wyatt: We're just getting morbid? I think we passed that a long time ago.