𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 in her bones ; 𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓎 in her soul

SO   HE   CAUGHT   ON   DID   HE   ?   she   wasn’t   exactly   discreet   about   it,   considering   she’d   cut   him   off   completely   and   made   sure   she   wasn’t   home   when   nyle   would   invite   his   friends   over.   listening   to   him   explain   why   he   felt   entitled   to   an   explanation,   she   pours   herself   a   glass   of   wine.   after   taking   a   long   sip,   tongue   darts   out   to   swipe   over   her   lips,   nodding   slowly   as   though   she   was   really   processing   his   words.   rachael   didn’t   like   playing   games   ;   she   wasn’t   going   to   be   kept   on   the   side   for   some   sort   of   entertainment.   “   what   changed   ?   well,   one   second   you   were   acting   like   you   were   into   me   and   the   next   you   had   your   tongue   down   some   girl’s   throat,   ”   words   crisp,   keeping   her   expression   void   of   the   hurt   that   rang   through   her   chest   at   the   memory   of   it.   “   i   saw   you   and   yarden,   ”   wounded   hues   break   away   from   him,   “   i   want   someone   who   wants   me   and   only   me.   it’s   okay   if   you   can’t   be   that   guy,   ”   amber   irises   lift   to   meet   his   across   the   room,   “   i   just   need   some   space.   ”

SHE   DIDN’T   KNOW   WHAT   TO   expect   after   she   told   him   the   truth   behind   everything,   but   bianca   knew   him   well   enough   to   know   he   was   taking   a   step   back   from   her   --   which   almost   felt   worse   than   her   having   to   leave   without   telling   him.   she   deserved   it,   considering   the   shit   she   put   him   through.   but   now   that   she   had   to   deal   with   it,   it   left   her   with   a   sense   of   discomfort   churning   in   the   pit   of   her   stomach.   the   former   escort   wished   he’d   just   lash   out   on   her,   but   he   hadn’t   ;   not   once   since   they   crossed   paths   after   her   return.   following   him   into   the   side   alley,   she   gives   a   subtle   nod,   “   uhh   he   had   jet   black   hair,   a   cut   in   his   left   brow,   scrawny   build   …   ”   a   beat   passes   as   she   tries   to   think   of   any   distinguishing   details,   “   he   had   a   tattoo   of   a   sword   beneath   his   ear   and   is   probably   a   couple   of   inches   shorter   than   you.   ”   another   moment   of   silence   passes   as   she   leans   against   the   wall,   “   there’s   this   other   ...   escort   ...   her   name   is   lexi.   i   remember   her   being   the   only   girl   on   his   arm   --   i   can   try   to   find   out   if   she’s   seen   him.   ”   initially   she   wanted   to   stay   as   far   away   from   the   idea   of   charles   as   possible,   but   it   seemed   as   though   she   didn’t   have   as   much   of   a   choice.   pushing   off   the   stone   to   walk   around   him,   “   and   then   you   can   let   me   know   if   you   learn   anything.   i   ...   i   won’t   leave   town   this   time.   ”

THE   CHEERMAZON   WAS   SO   IRREVOCABLY   in   love   with   this   man,   a   light   hearted   laugh   slipping   past   her   lips   as   he   spins   her,   hands   grasping   broad   shoulders.   looking   down   at   him,   straightened   blonde   locks   fan   over   the   sides   of   his   face   like   a   curtain,   blocking   them   away   from   the   rest   of   the   world.   an   adorable   dimpled   smile   graces   her   features   as   he   slowly   sets   her   back   down,   “   hmm,   mrs.   gangmoon   …   i   definitely   like   the   sound   of   that.   ”   scarlett   hadn't   even   paid   attention   to   the   ring   until   he   brought   it   between   them,   heart   swelling   with   adoration,   hues   glassy   with   happy   tears.   “   baby   ...   i   love   it,   ”   lips   part   in   awe   at   the   sight   of   the   brilliant   diamond,   so   incredibly   touched   --   a   literal   apocalypse   taking   them   by   storm,   she   couldn’t   believe   he   was   able   to   find   a   ring   so   beautiful   &   perfect.   rolling   onto   her   toes,   she’s   grasping   the   sides   of   his   torso   to   pull   him   close   as   she   meets   his   each   and   every   kiss.   “   i   ...   love   ...   you,   ”   she   mutters   between   kisses   before   craning   her   neck   just   slightly   to   look   up   at   him,   “   i   was   scared   ...   that   --   y’know,   ”   rolls   her   shoulders   into   a   subtle   shrug,   “   that   i   wouldn’t   be   able   to   spend   the   rest   of   my   life   with   you.   i'm   so   grateful   for   you   ...   i   hope   you   know   that.   ”   

EVERYTHING   MADE   SO   MUCH   SENSE   ;   he   was   always   so   good   to   others,   even   when   they   were   in   the   library   and   someone   came   up   with   an   excuse   to   talk   him   by   asking   to   borrow   a   pencil   --   he   would   actually   give   them   his.   maybe   it   was   a   scot   thing.   to   be   this   friendly.   it   was   beyond   her,   really.   “   vic   is   my   favorite   rascal.   ”   she   was   so   utterly   grateful   for   how   his   family   welcomed   her   with   open   arms.   “   after   you   that   is,   ”   she   pins   him   a   knowing   look.   a   pretty   pink   dusts   her   cheeks   as   he   peppers   kisses   against   her   cheeks,   a   small   laugh   slipping   past.   manicured   nails   graze   over   the   nape   of   his   neck   in   shapeless   patterns,   unable   to   refrain   the   smile,   especially   at   the   feel   of   his   lips   against   her   skin.   pressing   herself   closer   to   his   chest,   mer   tilts   her   head   as   she   gazes   up   at   him   through   dark   lashes.   “   as   much   as   i’d   absolutely   love   to   hear   you   beg   ...   ”   the   mischief   mirroring   across   her   own   features,   “   i   want   to   stay   with   you   ...   for   as   long   as   you’d   let   me,”   she   admits,   almost   shyly   towards   the   latter   end.   “   i   just   got   you   back.   ”

SHE   MUST   HAVE   FELT   IT   too   ;   the   pull   between   them.   it’s   too   strong.   she   was   all   he’s   been   able   to   think   about,   plaguing   his   mind   and   heart   --   no   matter   how   much   jon   tried   to   ignore   it.   a   part   of   him   was   worried   she’d   shove   him   off   and   roll   him   into   the   ocean.   but,   the   second   she   reciprocates,   callous   fingers   curl   into   her   dark   locks,   giving   her   the   slightest   of   tugs.   he’s   kissing   her   and   it   was   laced   with   every   ounce   of   his   yearning   --   deep   and   rough   and   consuming,   all   at   once.   against   his   mouth,   her   lips   were   soft.   they   felt   like   skin   against   his   heated   skin.   and   he   couldn’t   get   enough.   he   loved   vanessa   &   he’s   reminded   of   just   how   much   in   this   moment.   she   was   bound   to   push   him   away   --   he   knew   her   all   too   well.   things   could   never   be   this   simple   for   them,   even   with   chad   out   of   the   picture.   but   he   was   just   as   stubborn   as   she   was   and   there   was   no   way   he   was   going   to   let   her   slip   through   his   fingers.   begrudgingly   pulling   away   for   air,   warm   breath   mixes   with   hers,   half   -   lidded   gaze   meeting   hers,   “   i   ...   ”   love   you.   “   miss   you   ness   ...   ”   he   rasps,   pad   of   his   thumb   grazing   across   the   length   of   her   neck.

GRIP   ON   THE   WHEEL   LOOSENS,   JAW   clenching   as   he   tries   to   stifle   the   bristling   frustration   simmering   beneath   the   surface.   “   how   was   i   supposed   to   bring   it   up   ?   just   randomly   be   like,   ‘   oh   by   the   way   ...   i’m   involved   in   some   crazy   illegal   shit   and   i’m   apart   of   a   gang   !   you’ll   still   love   me   though,   right   ?!   ’   ”   shaking   his   head   as   he   impersonates   himself   in   a   what   -   could’ve   -   been   scenario.   pressing   his   lips   together,   alej   heaves   a   slow   inward   breath.   so   badly   he’s   trying   to   push   his   agitation   aside   to   put   himself   in   her   shoes,   wanting   nothing   but   to   sympathize   with   her.   “   bebe   ...   mi   princessa,   ”   he’s   pleading   now,      “   you’re   right   ...   i   --   i   should’ve   told   you   sooner,   ”   he   admits,   as   much   as   it   pained   him.   “   way   fucking   sooner.   ”   he   could   sense   the   hurt   in   her   voice   and   discomfort   curls   in   his   chest,   hating   the   fact   that   he  was   the   reason   behind   it.   alej   couldn’t   continue   driving   without   the   thought   of   ripping   his   steering   wheel   off   and   throwing   it   out   the   window,   so   he   pulls   over   into   trader   joe’s   parking   lot.   putting   the   car   in   park,   he’s   shifting   in   his   seat   to   look   at   her   and   immediately   notices   the   tears   glimmering   in   her   eyes   beneath   the   street   light.   swallowing   the   knot   that   had   formed   in   his   throat,   pushing   his   pride   aside   with   it,   fingers   that   itch   to   reach   out   and   touch   her,   close   into   a   fist.   “   believe   it   or   not   ...   i’m   still   alej,   your   alej   ...   nothing   else   has   changed   --   fuck,   ”   the   enforcer   sounds   defeated,   considering   his   position   was   nothing   but   weak.   this   is   exactly   what   he   feared.   “   i   didn’t   want   to   lose   you.   i   don’t   want   to   lose   you.   ”

“   IF   YOU   WANT   ...   I   COULD   always   go   back   and   fetch   him   --   though,   it   would   be   going   behind   your   boyfriend’s   back   ...   ”   kit   trails   off,   pinning   her   with   a   knowing   look.   though   his   actions   were   already   rather   implicative,   a   part   of   him   wanted   her   to   admit   who   she   was   referring   to   as   her   so   -   called   boyfriend.   knowing   lulu,   she   never   would.   it   was   easy   to   ignore   their   friends,   considering   they   were   always   this   idiotic.   plump   lips   twist   into   a   smirk,   hand   grasping   her   shoulder   to   give   her   a   gentle   tug   into   his   side,   head   dipping   slightly   to   whisper   in   her   ear,   “   c’mon   ...   you   can’t   blame   me.   ”   free   hand   reaches   out   to   the   menu   on   the   table,   bringing   it   up   before   them.   “   you   down   for   loaded   nachos   ?   ”

RIPPING   THAT   CONTRACT   APART   FELT   like   an   immense   weight   had   been   lifted   off   her   chest   ;   being   forced   to   step   away   from   cole   &   having   to   keep   the   truth   a   secret   from   him   was   one   of   the   hardest   things   she’s   ever   had   to   do.   though   she   wasn’t   all   that   happy   about   matt   being   the   one   to   tell   him,   she’s   grateful   he   did   --   who   knows   how   things   would’ve   been   if   he   hadn’t.   now,   here   she   was.   standing   in   his   embrace   (   even   while   he’s   in   crutches,   )   being   showered   in   soft   kisses.   a   brilliant   smile   plays   across   warm   features   as   she   gazes   up   at   him,   knowing   damn   well   he   was   a   man   of   his   word.   “   sounds   like   a   date   to   me,   ”   this   time   she   leans   up   to   press   a   chaste   kiss   against   his   lips   to   seal   the   deal.   hayat   gives   a   friendly   wave   to   his   teachers   and   peers   in   tow   as   they   make   their   way   out.   though   she   was   very   much   aware   of   the   doctor’s   orders   for   him   to   rest   as   much   as   possible,   she   knew   he’d   never   be   able   to   step   back   from   producing.   she   didn’t   blame   him   ;   he   was   basically   a   prodigy.   the   brunette   pins   him   with   a   knowing   look   before   shaking   it   off   with   a   helpless   smile,   “   yeah,   i’m   so   sure   it’s   ‘   just   this   one,   ’”   she   coos   playfully,   “   i   can’t   wait   to   hear   it.   everyone   always   asks   me   about   when   you’re   releasing   your   next   album   literally   every   time   i’m   on   the   carpet.   ”

THERE   WERE   TIMES   PEOPLE   WOULD   mistake   his   accent   for   a   european   one.   so,   he   gives   her   the   benefit   of   the   doubt   --   not   offended   in   the   slightest.   she   didn’t   seem   like   the   ignorant   type   anyway.   “   it’s   alright,   ”   he   assures,   lips   twisting   into   a   small   grin.      “   what   school   are   they   apart   of   ?   i   just   graduated   my   master’s   program   from   there,   ”   knox   tells   her,   hoping   he   wasn’t   starting   to   bore   her   with   this   sort   of   talk.   though   he’s   seen   a   ton   of   weird   shit   while   living   in   the   city   that   never   sleeps,   his   life   wasn’t   all   that   interesting.   “   oh,   yeah   ?   ”   brows   quirk,   giving   her   a   gentle   nudge   with   the   side   of   his   bicep.   “   if   you   ever   happen   to   expand   your   horizons   to   new   york,   i’d   love   to   be   your   tour   guide,   ”   even   though   she   had   friends   there   already.   before   he   could   process   how   stupid   he   may   sound,   he   couldn’t   help   but   ask,   “   is   chicago   really   all   that   windy   of   a   city   ?   ”   oi,   get   it   together,   you   sound   like   a   moron.   a   sheepish   chuckle   escapes,   giving   a   subtle   shake   of   his   head.   “   sorry,   is   it   obvious   that   i’ve   never   met   someone   from   there   ?   ”   they   slowly   come   to   a   halt   by   the   corner   of   the   pool,   knox   tilts   his   head   slightly   as   he   looks   down   at   her   with   an   attentive   gaze,   “   of   course,   whats   up   ?   ”

HER   VOICE   RISES   TO   OCTAVES   that   sounded   foreign   to   him.   neither   have   ever   had   any   reason   to   quarrel,   unless   they   were   playing   around.   now,   they’re   in   a   full   -   fledged   spat   &   as   much   as   he   detested   it,   majority   --   well,   maybe   all   of   it   --   was   his   fault.   clenching   his   jaw,   head   moves   in   a   slow   nod   as   she   throws   back   his   words   at   her,   which   he   rightfully   deserved.   even   when   he’s   stopped   at   the   light,   he   can’t   bring   himself   to   look   at   her.   “   you   think   it’s   easy   ?   you   think   i   wanna   involve   you   in   this   kind   of   dirty   shit   ?   i   didn’t   want   you   to   think   of   me   differently   after   telling   you   --   ”   cutting   himself   off,   he   takes   a   deep   breath.   “   yeah,   it’s   fucked   up   of   me   to   keep   you   in   the   dark   about   this.   had   i   known   your   ex   was   also   apart   of   a   gang,   maybe   i   would’ve   told   you   sooner,   ”   alej   admits   bitterly,   though   it   felt   like   pins   &   needles.   “   but   did   you   really   think   i   enjoyed   lying   to   you   ?   about   keeping   so   much   from   you   ?   it   fucking   drained   the   shit   outta   me   !   you   are   everything   good   and   pure   in   this   world,   leyda   --   i   didn’t   want   to   taint   you   by   bringing   you   into   this   world   i’m   apart   of.   the   whole   point   was   to   keep   you   safe.   ”