inactive for good

when you have a dissociative disorder, it's not uncommon to regress in behavior or understanding.

I recently spoke with my father and he told me that as a child, this was something I struggled with. Id do through times of being extremely emotionally mature, even keeping his explosive temper in check, and then in other times would run away and be unable to handle myself.

he told me that he would teach me something, and then id later ignore that lesson and do the wrong again. he told me if I saw someone else get away with something, id go right back to doing it. regardless of circumstance.

with dissociative amnesia growing up, it's easy to forget the rules, or the ways in which you handle things. instead relying on muscle memory, impulse, or other role models to try and figure it out.

forgetting why something is right or wrong, and instead looking to others isnt uncommon, many people do this. however I want to just say, make sure to critically think as well. I understand with dissociation, thinking alone can be hard. just take the time to be patient and attempt. it can lead you to better routes. 5 minutes is better than impulse, your brain isn't perfect, nor always correct. slow down and work with yourself.

that was fun. DID spaces are awful for my mental health but i miss the positive aspects of tumblr so im just gonna come back to existing on here. i do miss spreading what ive learned about DID and OSDD because im extremely tired of seeing shit be wrong. but im also tired of people fucking arguing. so im mostly staying out of it. if i do make a post, dont expect me to check notes on it because that shit actually made me depressed. but back to what i was saying. i miss this awful website sometimes so im back whenever i remember it exists. 

i actually dont know if i should tag anymore. eh i just wont for now. unless its relevant. this is my little corner of the internet and i wanna be insane and unhinged in my own space