A mix of “Yep” and “Mhmm Mama” come from Aj and Cass making everyone laugh lightly. 

Bucky couldn’t help but look to his side, focusing on the smile lines on Sam’s face. The way they moved as he looked around at his family. The way his smile kept growing as Sarah and the boys speak about the activities they’re planning tomorrow. He doesn’t realise how long he’s staring until Sam turns to him, toothy grin and all. “Something caught your eye Buck?” He says, his smirk only growing. 

He blinks as Sam’s voice breaks him out of his trance. “Hm? What? No I was just-” He rambles, only stopping when Sam moves his hand towards Bucky’s arm and squeezes slightly. 

“Chill man, I’m just messing with ya.”

Bucky laughs but before he can respond, Sarah calls his name. “You staying here tonight, Bucky?” 

“Oh, I- no that’s okay. Thanks Sarah.” Sam shoots him a look of confusion and answers again for him.

“Yes, he’s staying here tonight.” Bucky looks at him and mirrors the confusion on his face. 

“Guys I really don’t mind getting a room at a motel.”

“Nonsense!” Sarah exclaims as she stands up from the table. “Boys, get ready for bed and I’ll set up the couch for Bucky.” 

“It’s okay Sarah, I’ll do it. You just chill for the night.” Sam says. He gets up to hug the boys and Sarah goodnight. Bucky does the same.

“You sure?” She asks. 

“Yeah I got it.” He says. 

“Okay, goodnight then.” 

“Night!” Bucky says as she walks away before he turns to Sam.

“You know I really don’t mind getting a hotel room Sam.” He says slightly quieter than his normal voice. He didn’t really want to get a hotel room but he equally didn’t want to impose on Sam and his family.

“Come on now, you’re part of the family now Buck, there’s always going to be room for you here.” Sam reassures him with a pat on the back. They both begin to walk up to the house and Bucky heads for the couch. 

“Hey Sam?” Bucky shouts through to the kitchen where Sam was quickly finishing the clean up from the cookout. 

“Yeah?” 

“You got a spare pillow? Maybe a blanket?” 

“Yeah, in my room, hang on.” He puts away the last bowl and strolls through. Bucky could almost see a slight smirk on his face but had no idea why. 

“You know, I can’t really be bothered going all the way up, back down the stairs and all the way back up again.” Sam groans. He had been subtly hinting at Bucky to make a move but he hadn’t caught on, so Sam decided to up the stakes.

Bucky’s a bit confused but responds anyway. “Oh umm, I can get it? Where are they?” He heads for the stairs but stops on the first step, turning to Sam to wait for his answer. 

“Or” Sam trails off. “You could just stay in my room. Beds big enough for both of us.” Sam notices Bucky’s eyes practically fall out the sockets in surprise and suddenly worries that he might’ve overstepped. 

“Oh.” Bucky clears his throat before continuing, he pushes together his thumb and index finger, a nervous tic he had recently developed. “Yeah.. I- okay. If that’s okay with you?.” Truthfully the thought of sleeping in the same bed as Sam was a lot. He hadn’t even really admitted it to himself but there were feelings there, on his part anyway. Spending time with Sam, whether it was fighting on a mission or just sitting with him on the jet made him get a funny feeling inside his chest and he didn’t know how to handle it.

“Wouldn't ask if it wasn't.” Sam responds with a light chuckle. He follows Bucky up the stairs. Sam’s heart was beginning to race and he prayed Bucky couldn’t here it. 

Bucky walks into Sam’s room and looks around. He’d only ever seen it in photos and once on a video call, but it was just as he imagined. It was tidy but had loads of little trinkets around. He sees photos of Sam with Riley, his parents and a baby he assumes is Cass or Aj. There’s also a diary, it looks like it had been read a lot but it had a pen sticking out. Maybe a journal, Bucky thought.

Below the photo wall is a bottle of aftershave, he couldn’t smell it but he guessed it was the smell he had become so used to smelling on Sam. The one that he had grown so attached to recently. It made him feel silly, being attached to a smell but it also made him feel safe and that was a feeling he had been craving ever since he fell off that train in the 40’s. 

He turns to the left and sees Sam’s bed, it was covered in blankets and looked so comfy. It had been a while since he had slept in a bed, his apartment back in new york had a bed but he hadn’t once slept in it. He begins to think about whether he’ll be able to sleep okay but Sam’s voice cuts him off. 

“It’s a hard one.” 

Bucky turns around quickly and looks at Sam, he turns his head slightly, urging Sam to continue. 

“The mattress I mean. Soft beds are the worst. Ya know?” 

“Right.” Bucky says. He hated that Sam had those struggles but it  made him feel better that he wasn’t the only one who did.

Bucky goes to the bathroom first and changes into a pair of sweatpants and vest. He brushes his teeth and heads back to Sam’s room. Sam does the same but takes a little longer, he had a more detailed night routine. He changes into a pair of shorts and leaves his shirt off. He takes the time to wash and moisturise his face and walks back to the room. 

You got a side you prefer Buck?”

“By the door? If that’s okay with you?” 

“Yep.” 

They get into bed and Sam turns all the lights off, just leaving a lamp on his side table on. The room is silent but he can hear Bucky’s deep breathing. “You alright?” 

“Yeah.” Bucky chuckles to try to hide his embarrassment but Sam notices his cheeks warming up and turn a shade of red. “Just been a while since I shared a bed with someone.” 

“Are you uncomfortable?” Sam asks. 

“No! God no!” He wanted to tell Sam he could never feel uncomfortable with him around but he held back. “I just.. The only time I ever really shared a bed was with a girl back in the day.” He admits with a shy grin. 

Sam’s eyebrows raise at that and he takes a deep breath before responding “Is this so different?” He can’t help but chuckle when Bucky’s eyes do that thing again, they really would fall out if it kept happening. 

“Hm?” 

“Is this so different from then?”

“Sam.” Bucky calls his name.

“Bucky.” Sam responds in the same tone.

“Do you..”

“Do I..” 

Bucky takes a breath, he knows what he wants to say but he just can’t get it out. “Do you feel this.. thing between us?” Sam really can’t help his full laugh coming out this time.

“Thing?” He asks, waiting for Bucky to say what he’s really thinking. 

“Sam, If I’ve taken this the wrong way please tell me now to save me the embarrassment.” 

“How can I know unless you tell me?” He was really gonna make him say it wasn’t he?

“Sam, I like you.” 

“I’d hope so, we are partners after all.” Sam teases, he regrets it as he sees Bucky’s face drop. 

“Right.” Bucky nods his head slightly. “Partners.” He starts to turn back and lie down but stops when he feels Sam’s hand on his arm. 

“Oh my god, you idiot! Come here.” With that, Sam pulls Bucky towards him by the neckline of his vest and plants his lips against Bucky’s. The feeling of Sam’s soft lips melting into his was one he didn't think could ever be beaten. It’s a messy kiss and both of them don’t want it to end. Bucky’s the one to pull away, needing a second to catch his breath. He pulls away only slightly and presses his forehead against Sam’s. 

Sam’s tongue comes out his mouth and licks along his lips, chasing the taste of Bucky he had finally gotten after craving it for so long. “I do.” He whispers. Bucky pulls away further and looks at Sam, urging him to continue. “I do feel that thing.” 

Bucky chuckles at that, he feels shy and hides his head in the crook of Sam’s neck for a second. He couldn’t believe he had finally gotten to touch Sam in the way he way too often thought about. 

“What took us so long?” He asks softly but it comes out as a mumble against Sam’s skin. Sam pulls away slightly and places his hands on Bucky’s face. 

“What was that?” He asks and Bucky repeats himself but can’t bring himself to look in Sam’s eyes. 

“I’d say we’ve had a lot on our plates, it didn’t exactly leave us a lot of time to be alone.” Bucky nods along, it’s true. There was always someone or something in their way. “Plus, I like seeing you flustered. It’s cute so I had to play a little.” Sam teases. 

“Hey! I was not flustered.” Bucky argues playfully to which Sam laughs at.

“Buck, I honestly thought your eyes were gonna pop out of your head when I suggested sleeping up here.” Bucky feels his cheeks heat up even more.

“How else was I supposed to react? Sleeping in your bed with you in it.” 

“Aw baby are you getting all flustered again?” 

“You’re so annoying Sam.” Bucky playfully rolls his eyes and hides his smirk.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it.” They look into each other's eyes for a moment before he responds. 

“Yeah, I really do.” The unspoken true meaning of their words float between them but neither of them bring them to light. 

“Alright enough swooning.” Sam teases. “As much as I’d love to look into your eyes all night, we need to sleep.” 

“Come here then.” Bucky responds, pulling Sam down towards the bed with him. He pulls Sam into his chest and lets him wiggle around until he’s comfy. Their legs tangle under the blanket and Sam rests his arm over Bucky.. “This okay?” Bucky asks. 

“Mhmm. S’perfect.” Sam mumbles. 

It’s silent for a few moments before Bucky breaks it. 

“Sam?” 

“Yeah Buck?” 

“You think Sarah is free after their plans tomorrow?”

“Buck! It’s still not funny!” 

Bucky can’t hold off his laughter.

“It will never not be funny Sam.” He speaks more softly as he continues. “Don’t worry, there’s only one Wilson I got my eyes on.” 

With that he pressed a gentle kiss onto Sam’s forehead and closed his eyes. 

Sam moves closer to Bucky, close enough that their thighs brush together. “Buck..” 

Bucky can feel his eyes grow wetter as the flashbacks of his time at Hydra flash through his mind. He turns to Sam and looks into his eyes, they’re full of trust, full of care. “I just.. I haven’t spoken about that with anyone before.” 

“Look, you don't have to talk about it.. just know that you can anytime and I’ll listen.” 

“You won’t judge me? Or look at me any different?” 

Sam shoots Bucky a slight smile. “I promise.” 

“I only remember parts.. a lot of my time with Hydra is still full of gaps, it comes back sometimes at random times but I remember..” Bucky pauses for a second and tries to think of a way to word this.

Sam puts his hand on Bucky’s thigh and squeezes slightly. Once his hand makes contact he worries he might have overstepped but Bucky leans into his touch and pushes those concerns away. 

“At first when they found me in the snow it wasn’t bad, I honestly felt relieved that I had been found, but then they told me who they were and I knew I wasn’t safe. I noticed too late, there was no way for me to escape. They locked me in a room and left me there for what felt like days. Food and water would appear in my room but I never saw anyone come in or out. I later found out that they would put gas into my room to knock me out.” Bucky feels like he is going off topic but Sam reassures him he’s okay to continue. 

“Once they’d gotten in my head with those damn words, they controlled everything I did. They would use me for their missions as you know, but it didn’t stop there. At one point, I don’t even know when but they moved me to a room and it had windows. At first I thought this was a good thing but then I realised they were only one way windows. I couldn’t see out but they could see in.”

Sam didn’t say anything but nodded, urging Bucky to continue. 

“They would take turns coming into my room, one at a time but I could hear the others on the other side of the window. They made me do different things and I’m still putting the pieces together but I remember one in particular. He would make me stand right in front of the mirror and take my clothes off.” Bucky felt Sam tense beside him and looked at him, checking if he should continue. Sam’s heart melted at Bucky, even at his most vulnerable he was checking on others. 

“It’s okay, only keep going if you want to.” 

Bucky nodded before continuing. “Once I had my clothes off, sometimes he would make me..” Bucky’s voice grew smaller and smaller as he continued, so much so, Sam could almost not hear him. “He would make me touch myself, whilst they all watched. I could hear them laughing, like they were enjoying themselves. The guy in the room, he would keep telling me what to do but he would stop right before I..” Sam gave Bucky a look of understanding, Bucky was thankful he didn't have to say it. “He would do it over and over again, never letting me finish.” Bucky cringed slightly at his wording but kept going. “Once they'd had their fun they’d just leave me there in pain.” 

Bucky suddenly felt like he had to defend himself. “And it’s not like I wanted to.. but anything would have been better than having to wait it out.” 

Sam can feel his anger rising, thinking back to earlier in the night. Zemo asking Bucky to go back into that mindset and let him touch him was uncalled for. He felt guilty for letting it happen even though deep down he knew it had to happen. Still he made a mental note to apologise to Bucky when the time was right.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to defend yourself. I can’t imagine how hard that would've been.” Bucky felt relieved at that, he almost felt silly for thinking Sam would judge him but after a second he realises probably not everyone would react this way. He really was grateful for having Sam. He made him feel safe and listened to so he kept going. 

“There was another man, he only came in a few times and he would touch me.. but…” Bucky took a deep breath and paused for only a moment. “He wouldn’t use the words. He just told me to lie down and I would do it. I just let him.” 

Sam didn’t want to interrupt Bucky but he couldn’t let him blame himself for that. “Bucky.. That wasn't your fault. Whether he used the words or not, it was against your will.”

“But I could have stopped him, If i’d just been toughe-”

“Bucky no. Please listen to me when I say this.” Sam shifts sideways slightly and grabs Bucky’s hands. He looks up into Bucky’s eyes and continued. “None of what happened to you is your fault, you had no choice in what happened.” 

Bucky can feel a tear run down his face before he can stop it. He quickly brings his hand up and wipes it away. “I’m sorry for this. I know you probably don’t want to hear about it.”

“Buck” Sam chuckles lightly. “I like to think we’re close enough now that we can vent to each other. This is gonna be pretty tough if we can’t.”

This brought a little smile to Bucky’s face. “Thank you for listening to me Sam, and thank you for not looking at me like I'm some freak.”

“You’re not a freak. You’ve been through a lot, that doesn’t make you a freak, that makes you strong. I know this was hard to look back on but I’m glad you felt safe enough to..with me. I’m here for you okay? From now on, we have each other's backs, no matter what.” 

“I’m here for you too. You can talk to me, I know I’ve been a bit of a dick in the past but I promise I got you. You can talk to me about anything, I know you’ve been through a lot too. It must be ha-” 

Before Bucky could finish speaking, the door swings open and Zemo walks in. “Gentleman.” Bucky pulls away from Sam and wipes his face once more, he absolutely does not want Zemo to crack any jokes about this. He shoots Sam an apologetic look but there's no need, Sam understood and nodded slightly to show that. “ Are you two ready to leave? We’re waiting.” 

Sam and Bucky both clear their throat before standing up. Both mumbling a response that sounds like a mixture of “Yes” and “Let’s go” 

Zemo leaves the room first and Bucky goes to follow but not before looking back at Sam and grabbing his hand. 

“When we get home.” They both smile slightly and Sam squeezes Bucky’s hand. 

“Not as important as you are doll.” You feel his smirk against your forehead as he brings himself closer for another kiss. 

“Forever the charmer Buck, I love you.” 

“I love you too,” He grabs your hand and pulls you towards the door, “come on, we don’t wanna be late.” 

You try to stop in front of the mirror to check how you look once more but he stops you, “Stop worrying baby, you look perfect.” 

“I just want them to like me.”

“And they will, I promise” 

Everything about your relationship with Bucky had been amazing so far but the idea of meeting his friends, the people who had been there for him since he became himself again, before you even knew each other, was terrifying. If they didn’t like you, what would that mean? Sure Bucky says you’re the most important person in his life but no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t convince yourself that if his friends didn’t like you then Bucky would dump you. 

“Baby, you have got to stop worrying. They’re gonna love you.”

“You don’t know that Bucky.”

“But I do..” He trails off his words to show you how confident he is about this. Your lips come together in a little pout, which Bucky finds adorable. 

It was only a 15 minute drive to the tower where the rest of the Avengers lived, you were secretly hoping there would be some traffic to hold you up but the roads were nowhere near as busy as they usually were. Bucky could feel the anxiety radiating off you, he wished he could take it away from you, there was really 0 chance that his friends wouldn’t love you, but you were naturally an anxious person and he knew that so he did what he knew comforted you and rubbed circles over your hand on the drive there. You appreciated him for trying to comfort you but your anxiety would not ease up. You’d never felt this nervous before, you must’ve completely zoned out for the rest of the car ride because what felt like only a minute later had actually been 15 and you were pulling up to the tower. 

Bucky had a quick chat with the gate attendant before driving through the gates and parking in his designated spot. 

“You ready doll?” He asks, turning himself towards you with a soft smile on his face.

“Mhmm, let’s go.” You were not ready but you didn’t want to ruin Bucky’s night, it’d been a while since he’d seen everyone with all the missions everyone had recently been on and you knew he was excited. 

He quickly climbed out the car and made his way to your side, always insisting on opening your door for you. When you get out he holds his hand out for you and you immediately grab hold of it. He pulls you closer towards you and plants a gentle kiss on your forehead before whispering to you. “I promise baby, it’s gonna be fine.” You shoot him a quick, almost forced smile, and nod, showing you were ready to go in. 

It only takes a few minutes to get up to the living quarters side of the tower, and now a quick elevator ride was the only thing between you and people Bucky loves. As the elevator started to slow you took a deep breath and readied to walk out. As soon as the doors open you can hear a loud laugh boom through the room followed by a quiet chuckle beside you. It had only been a couple seconds and Bucky was already so happy to be back here. 

As you turned the corner your eyes quickly scanned the room trying to put names to faces of everyone Bucky had told you about. Obviously you knew everyone's superhero names, but to Bucky they were his friends, his family, not superheroes. Suddenly everyone had turned your way and you realise Bucky had made both your presences known. You felt like all eyes were on you and Bucky could tell your nerves had shot up, so he lightly gave your hands a squeeze.”Hey guys.”

“Hey Bucky!” Sam shouted over and began walking towards you. “You must be Y/N? Bucky’s told me a lot about you.” 

You nod towards, who you knew to be Sam, as much as Bucky told you they weren’t best friends, you knew that they were. You smile and hold your hand out to shake his. “That’s me, nice to meet yo-” Before you could finish, Sam pulled you in for a hug. 

“We’re all about hugs here. You’re part of the family now.” You can’t help but laugh and hug him back. You really appreciated him being so welcoming, he was the one person you were most worried about not liking you. From what Bucky told you, he was very protective over the people he cares about. 

“Alright Wilson, don’t scare my girl away.” Sam pulls away and moves to Bucky to give him a hug as well. 

You look at Bucky and smirk, "Your girl, hm?” He looked confused for a split second before the tips of his ears started to turn bright red and his usual smug smirk disappeared when he realised what he’d said. 

“Sorry doll.” You weren’t sure why he was apologising or why he was embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to sa- sorry.” You’d never seen someone's skin turn so red as fast as his had in this moment. 

“Don’t be, I liked it.” You whisper right next to him, hoping no one else heard. Before he could respond to you, more voices filled the space around you. 

“You could’ve just asked for a hug too Bucky, besides if you haven’t scared her off already, I don’t think much will” Sam teases.

“So your girl? Must be serious. I’ll expect my wedding invite any day now. Bucky’s face was only growing redder and he couldn’t look anyone in the eye, forcing his gaze to the floor. His hand was rubbing the back of his neck, something you knew he did when he was embarrassed. You took a small step closer to him and rubbed your hand on his arm, showing you really didn’t mind the nickname, in fact you loved it. A small smile was starting to form on his face but before you could see it grow any more a voice pulled you away.

“Alright Wilson, stop hogging them. The rest of us want to introduce ourselves as well.” You instantly recognise the face as Clint, someone who Bucky truly owed a lot to. He had let Bucky live with him and his family for a bit when he needed some time away from the city. The memories of Steve leaving and his past life got too much to handle and he already felt like he had imposed too much on Sam and his family. He would forever be grateful for Clint and Laura taking him in, he really felt a part of their family, so much so that their kids had started calling him Uncle Bucky. 

Clint put his hand towards yours and introduced himself, “Hi Y/N, I’m Clint. Sorry about him, I promise we’re not all as crazy as him.” You laughed at his joke and shook his hand. It’s lovely to finally meet you Clint, Bucky’s spoken a lot about you.” 

“It’s all lies.” He jokes before moving onto Bucky and giving him a side hug. 

“Laura and the kids here too clint?”

Clint shook his head before moving to stand in front of you both. “Sorry Buck, they had some school things on, but they made me promise to ask you to visit soon, and to bring your girl!” Clint replies with a wink which makes you laugh. Bucky couldn’t stop his huge smirk from reappearing as Clint called you his girl. 

As they continued talking more people made their way over to you and introduced themselves. First there was Joaquin and then Sarah and her boys. The boys completely skipped saying hello to you and ran over to their uncle Bucky before Sarah called them back to apologise. They came back and introduced themselves and with a little nudge from Sarah apologised for rushing past you. “That’s okay, I know you're excited. It was very nice to meet you both boys.” They shook your hand and ran over again to Bucky.

“Sorry about them, I swear they love Bucky more than they love me sometimes.” Sarah smiled at seeing how nicely you fit into the group and gave you a hug, just like how Sam had to show you that you were welcomed. Once all the introductions were done you all sat down in the living room. You were the main topic of the conversation, everyone was interested in knowing how one person had completely changed Bucky’s life. 

“So Y/N,” Wanda started, “Bucky said you’re a teacher?” 

“Yeah that’s right.” You slightly laughed aftwards, not because it was funny but you were slightly panicking being the centre of attention around all these people. Especially since some of them were literal superheroes. “I know it’s not as exciting as you guys but I enjoy it.”

Everyone quickly spoke up and defended you against yourself. Especially Sarah and Clint, with having kids they knew how important teachers were. It felt good knowing that they thought that of you, even though you were still feeling anxious, everyone had been so welcoming to you and you weren't sure why you were so nervous.You didn’t notice but Bucky was looking at you as you spoke, his eyes were a tell tale sign that he was so proud of you. He knew how hard you worked and loved when you got the recognition you deserve. 

“What age do you teach?” Joaquin asked next.

“Oh erm, at the moment I teach second grade but I’m hoping to move up soon.” 

“It must be hard, kids are annoying little creatures.” Sam says, looking at Cass and AJ for their reactions, they both shout “Hey!” before Sam tickles them. 

Another voice starts, you’re not sure who but doesn't get far before Bucky interrupts. “Alright alright, stop grilling my girl.” His girl. “I haven’t seen most of you guys in months, what’s been happening? 

You look at Bucky and smirk when he calls you his girl again and it only takes a few seconds for him to realise what he’s said again and he can’t help but smirk, knowing that you like it. 

The rest of the night went well, you felt like they all really liked you. Before you knew it, it was around midnight and you were working in the morning so had to get home. 

“Again, it was really lovely to meet all of you! Thank you for a great night.” You say as you head for the elevator, Bucky following close behind. 

“Make sure to tell the boy’s I said bye, Sarah!” Bucky shouts, “Clint, let’s plan a trip soon. See you all later!” Bucky shouts through, the elevator doors just cutting him off.

As soon as the doors shut you lead your head against his shoulder. “You okay sweet girl?” 

“I’m good, just tired.”

“You have a good night?”

You nodded against him, “I’m sorry we couldn’t stay longer.” 

“Hey,” He moved slightly and held your head in his hands, bending over slightly to be eye level as he spoke. “We stayed plenty, I know you have work tomorrow, and plus..” He moved closer to your ear to whisper. “.. I couldn’t do this in there.” He lowered one of his hands to your ass and squeezed before pressing you both against the elevator wall. He moved his lips against yours and kissed you, it was a desperate kiss.  “You like being my girl huh?”

You can’t help but giggle when he calls you his girl again. You bite your lip before answering. “I do..” He lowers his hand to the hem of your dress and traces his fingers over your inner thigh 

“Fuck baby, I nee-” The ding of the elevator doors opening interrupts you both. “Fuck!” Bucky curses everything stopping him from touching you right now. He presses the button to close the doors and immediately after presses the alarm button. The elevator makes a clank noise before it goes silent again, the only sound being you trying to catch your breath after that kiss. Bucky goes back to kissing you but starts on your neck and starts going lower and lower. When his teeth graze over your nipple through your dress you push him back slightly.

“Bucky we can’t here..” You whisper, knowing he can hear your heart beating, you needed him just as bad as he needed you. 

“Baby.. I’ll fuck my girl anywhere I want to.” He says before returning to your tits. You bite back a moan which Bucky notices. Your sex life from bucky wasn’t boring by any means but it had never felt as intense as this. The thrill of being in public was sending chills through you. 

“Oh shit.. Bucky please. 

He lifts your dress up and pulls your panties to the side, using his other hand he unties his jeans and pulls them down enough for his already hard cock to fall out. He rubs his hand over it a couple times and looks at you. “Spit on it for me.” His words send flutters through your stomach and down to your pussy, and you do as he says. 

“You ready?” 

You nod as you answer, “Pleasee.”

He lifts you up and rubs the tip of his cock against your pussy, gathering your slick before he pushes in. “Fuck, my girls got such a tight pussy.” He keeps pushing until he’s fully in, hitting that spot that makes you grab onto his shoulders, your nails digging into him, which he likes. “You feel so good baby.”

“Fuck.. Bucky please..” He feels so good but his thrusts are slow and you need more.

“What do you need?” He smirks at you, knowing exactly what you need but waiting until you ask for it. 

“Fuck me..” Your head falls back, Bucky’s hand cups it to stop it hitting the wall. “Please.”

He chuckles at the desperation in your voice, “Anything for you my sweet girl.” His thrusts fasten and you feel yourself racing towards your high. You use your hands to steady yourself as he fucks into you. You bite your lip to stifle your moan but Bucky doesn’t like that. “Don’t do that baby.. Don’t hide your pretty little noises. I wanna hear you. Want the whole tower to hear how you sound when I fuck you.” 

“Fuck.. Bucky you feel so good. I think I’m gonn-”

“I know baby, it’s okay. Let go for me.” He moves his hand from behind your head and wraps it around your neck. The cold from his touch and him speeding up was enough to send you over the edge.

“Fuckkkk.. Bucky I’m cum- I’m cumming.” 

“Oh Fuck.. I’m there too, baby.” He groans, almost whimpers in your ear. “Feel s’good baby.” He slows his thrusts down as you both come down from your highs.

When you don’t respond he looks at you. “You okay?” 

You can’t speak but you nod your head. 

“You all cockdrunk?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“Such a good girl for me.” He strokes the side of your face and plants a soft kiss on your lips. “Let’s get you home, sweet girl.” 

He slowly inches out of you and sets you down. You stumble a little and grab onto his shoulder to steady yourself. 

“Thank you Buck.” 

“You don’t need to thank me, come on let’s get you home.” He puts his arm around your waist before reaching over and pressing the alarm button again. 

The doors of the elevator open and Sam is standing there, his eyes bulge open before he laughs. You immediately stand up straight and try make yourself look like you haven’t just been fucked moments before but it was obvious. 

You feel your skin warm at being caught but Bucky just laughs beside you like it was no big deal. “I should’ve known it was you two lovebirds causing trouble. Now I know no ones really stuck, I’ll see you guys later” 

“Bye Sam.” You manage to mumble before Bucky pulls you closer, you look at each other and have to hold in your laughter.  

“See ya Wilson.”

“I love you sweet girl.”

“I do.” You were internally beating yourself up for being so awkward but you couldn’t help but jump at the chance at seeing Bucky again. What you didn’t know that was Bucky was doing the same thing, Steve had always described him as being smooth with the ladies but right now it was like all his flirting skills had completely disappeared. 

“I erm, I better get going, but I’ll call you!” 

“I’ll be waiting!” You cringed at yourself, why did you have to be so awkward? 

“See you doll.” Bucky flashes you a smile - which has become one of your favourite sights in the very short time you’ve known him - before he starts to walk down the steps. You wave to him as he walks away and wait until you can no longer see him before you close your door. 

You drop your bag on the counter, untie your shoes and start to unzip your dress as you walk to your bedroom before a knock at your door stops you. You don’t think twice before going over and opening the knock, the only logical person it could be was Bucky. Right? 

“Back alrea- Oh. Hi?” It wasn’t Bucky, it was a man with short black hair and tattoos and a black hood covering most of his face. “Can I help you?”

“You Y/N Y/L/N?” The man grunts at you in return.

“I am.. Who are you?” As soon as you answer him you regret it, it goes against every piece of advice you’d been given about being safe as a woman in the city. 

“You don’t need to know who I am sweetheart.” Your heartbeat was beginning to speed up now, panic setting in fast. You try to close your door as quickly as you can but his foot stops you. 

He begins to shake his head, “Uh uh, I don’t think so.” he pushes forward and you fall backwards landing on the floor. 

Your eyes were beginning to well up and you were frozen in fear, this was it wasn’t it? You’re gonna die right here. 

“Stop being such a baby jesus fucking christ.” He paced around your apartment a little, his jacket moving slightly which makes the gun he has in the back of his jeans become visible.

“P-Please, you can take anything you want. Just please don’t hurt me” You pleaded to him, hoping somehow there was a tiny part of him that would listen. 

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” You sighed deeply thinking there was a chance you’d get out of this alive, but if he wasn’t going to hurt you what was he planning to do?

“What do..what do you want from me?” 

“I’m just here to take ya to the big man.” 

You didn’t think you could feel any more scared than you already did, but the mention of “the big man” terrified you. Why were they targeting you? 

“Do me a favour, would ya sweetheart? Stop talking.” He smirked down at you which only made you feel worse, it looked like he was enjoying this. 

You were too scared to say anything else, and he was focusing on his phone instead of you. Part of you was tempted to try and escape but you were still frozen in fear, you had no defence skills and probably wouldn’t get very far and you really didn’t wanna piss this guy off anymore. 

Around 10 minutes pass of you sitting on the floor, wracking your brain to find any reason as to why someone would want to kidnap you. You weren't anything special, and you hadn’t even lived in New York for that long. 

“Get up. He’s ready for ya.” You get to your feet shakily and wait for him to tell you what to do next. 

“Go on then.” He shoves you towards the door, and follows behind you. As you near the door you feel something hard against your back. “Make any noise and I’ll use it.” Shit. You didn’t say anything back, just nodding to show you understood.

After you get into his car he drives for what feels like hours to an underground garage, you tried to memorise the route you went but it was hopeless. You’d never been to this side of the city before. A few minutes walk later and you’re standing outside an office, you assume this is the guy who sent someone to hunt you down. 

The door opens and you get pushed in, stumbling a little before you find your balance. There are two men waiting in there, who look you up and down before smirking. 

“Soldier chooses them well.” The taller one says to his shorter friend. 

“Sure does. Shame he’ll never see her again.” 

Soldier? Are they talking about Bucky? 

“What do you want from me?” You tried to keep your voice calm but you could tell it came out laced with fear. 

“You’ll find out soon enough.” The shorter man walks towards you and trials his finger over the edge of your dress. “All you need to worry about is standing here and looking pretty, sweetheart.” 

—----- 

On the other side of the city the soldier in question was sitting discussing ‘the best night of his life’ with Sam, who was silently judging how his friend was acting. 

“And everytime she told me a joke she'd wait a couple seconds before laughing to make sure I found it funny first. And when she laughs her nose scrunches up, it’s so adorable. And everytime i told her she looked nice she’d do this thing where she bites her lip and she can’t look me in the eye. It’s ad-“

“Adorable. I get it, Buck.”

Bucky blushes as he realises how long he’d been speaking about you, but he can’t help it. He’s never met someone like you before and he can’t stop thinking about you since he left your doorstep. 

“How long is an acceptable time before I call her?” Bucky knows Sam is probably sick of hearing about you but he’s Bucky’s favourite (and only) person he feels safe enough to talk to, not that he’d ever tell Sam that. 

Sam looks at the imaginary watch on his wrist before answering. “Not 3 hours Buck.” A frown appears on Bucky’s face to which Sam snickers at. “I thought you were a ladies man.” 

“I was. Things are different now.” Bucky tries to force a smile out but he can’t. His voice grows a lot quieter as he continues. “Do you think she doesn’t want me to call?” 

“Hey, I didn’t say that! The way you’ve described the night, it sounds like she feels the same as you.” 

“Hm. Maybe.” 

“Buck I’m serious, I was just joking before. I’m sure she’s waiting for your call.” 

“So tomorrow?” Bucky asks with his smirk growing again. 

Sam laughs, “Yeah, tomorrow.”

Safe to say Bucky does not wait until tomorrow, actually he doesn’t even make it another hour before texting you.” 

Hey, it’s Bucky! Sorry if this is too soon but I had a really good time tonight. We need a rematch soon! 

He spent a further 2 hours staring at the screen, with every minute that passed that the message was left on ‘delivered’ he picked apart his message more. He finally locks his phone and heads to his room for the night. But not without a lecture from Sam first. “You called her didn’t you?” 

“No!” Bucky rushes to defend himself. “But hypothetically if someone was to text their date 4 hours after the date. How would that look?”

“Bucky! I thought you were waiting until tomorrow.” 

“I tried.” 

“Has she responded?” 

Bucky shakes his head. “Is this what ghosting is? Oh god. Am I being ghosted?” 

“Please for the love of god stop letting Peter teach you modern slang. You’re not being ghosted, it’s late she’s probably just sleeping. Bucky looks at the clock behind Sam and sighs in relief. 

“You’re right. Okay, I’m gonna sleep too.” It was nearing 3am, no wonder you haven't replied to him he thought to himself.

Bucky gets around 4 hours of sleep before he gets woken up by his phone ringing. He answers it without looking at who it is. “You’ve got 3 hours to give me back my brother, or else your girl gets a bullet through her pretty little face.” 

That wakes Bucky up faster than he ever has before. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“You heard me, Soldier. Clock’s ticking.” The call ends. 

Bucky freezes for a second trying to gain a little bit of understanding of what the fuck just happened. He pulls on the first piece of clothing he can find and runs towards the common room, hoping to find someone who can help him. Luckily the whole team is there, which is strange, normally the only time that happens is when there’s a mission going on. 

Before Bucky can even begin to explain what’s happening, Fury pipes up. “Barnes, what do you know about a Y/N Y/L/N?”

“Fuck!” This means he wasn’t imagining that phone call. We had one date, literally just last night. What the fuck is going on?” 

Half of the team moves so Bucky can see the big screen, and on it there’s a blown up picture of you, tied to a seat. Your dress is ripped, there’s blood dripping down the side of your face and your eyes are red, as if you’d been crying non stop for hours. Bucky walks slowly towards the screen and stops for a second to take in the picture, and almost instantly his brain switches to fighter mode. 

“What do we know?” 

“Bucky, maybe you should sit this one out.” Sam tries to reason with him, but Bucky doesn’t listen. 

“What the fuck do we know?”

Fury begins to tell Bucky all the information they have. “It seems your girlfriend wa-“

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Bucky wishes that statement wasn’t true, he wishes he could say you were his girl, but after this he was 100% sure that would never be the case.

“Okay.” Nick continues, wary of pissing Bucky off any more. “It seems Ms Y/L/N was taken from her home at around 11.30 last night. Her neighbours report seeing a black Audi sitting outside her apartment before she got home and say it left 30 minutes after you dropped her off. There’s no cameras in the area, her phone was left in her apartment so there is no way of tracking her. And just 30 minutes ago this picture was sent to my email. Along with a threat to her life if Zemo is not released from the raft in 3 hours.” 

Bucky tries to process all the information, you were taken just 30 minutes after he left? Guilt. Zemo has a brother? Anger. They were threatening to kill you? Fear. 

“I got a phone call a few minutes ago, said the same thing. Any leads on who this bastard is?” 

“None. No one is aware of Zemo having a brother.” 

Bucky nods along, “What’s the plan?”  

“You said you got a call? We’ll get tech to try and track it..” Nat suggests, knowing it most likely won’t work but it’s their best bet right now. “..and when they call again at least we’ll be ready to track it.”

“You think they’re gonna be dumb enough to leave a trace?” Bucky snapped at Nat. 

“It’s all we’ve got, Bucky. Look, we know you had some sort of relationship with this girl but you need to stay calm.” 

“I’m trying.” Bucky’s voice breaks a little, showing everyone how he is really feeling.

A couple minutes pass of everyone thinking the same thing but being too afraid to say it, until Fury finally breaks the silence. “There’s no way we can let Zemo out.” 

Bucky knows there’s no logical reason for them to listen to your kidnappers demands, he knows majority of the time they never stick to them, but the thought of you getting hurt anymore was too much to handle. 

“You’re just gonna let her die?” He shouts across the table. 

“Barnes I suggest you calm down or I’ll remove your clearance for this mission.” Bucky nods, knowing the best thing he can do right now is keep as calm as possible, panic will only make things worse. “As I was saying, I’m not willing to release Zemo from the raft, but we can make this brother of his think we are. When he next contacts us, we’ll let him believe we’re following what he is asking of us. Everyone got it?” 

The room fills with a mix of mumbles, mostly consisting of ‘yes sirs’ and ‘got it’s’. Bucky stays silent. He’d finally found a girl he liked and she ends up in this situation, the guilt he was feeling was worse than anything he’d ever felt before, including the years of physical and mental trauma he’s been through. 

Sam’s soft voice breaks him out of his thoughts, “Buck? You okay?” For the first time since he learned of your danger Bucky’s face softens, and his eyes begin to grow wet. 

“I don’t wanna lose her Sam.” Sam might not understand how Bucky feels this strongly about you in such a short amount of time but one thing he understands is that you are important to Bucky and that means you are important to him.

“We’ll get her back. Come on. Let’s suit up so we’re ready.”

—--

You made the mistake of asking for some water which resulted in you being slapped across the face with the back of a gun and tied up on a rickety old chair .You hadn’t spoken since. You’d accepted that it was just a matter of time before they killed you and part of you just wanted them to get it over with. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop the tears falling down your cheeks and these men did not like that at all.

“Tell me again why we’re keeping her alive? Her crying is starting to get real boring.” One guy asks the other. 

“Just shut her up will ya? I need to call them again” You try so hard to stop yourself from whimpering but the pain from the rope around your hands and the ache in your head hurts so bad and a couple of seconds later a rag is being stuffed in your mouth. 

“Darling.. You get what this means?” He lifts his gun up and trails it along the side of your face. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” You hold your breath, terrified that even a slight movement will make things worse. “Good girl.” His smile, it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever forget if you make it out of here alive. 

The other man dials a number and puts it on speaker. “You got my brother yet?” 

“He’s on his way to us. First we need some proof that Y/N is still alive.” 

The man walks over to you slowly and takes the rag slightly out your mouth. “Tell them sweetheart.” You couldn't answer even if you wanted to, the fear being too much. He whips his gun against your head again making you cry out again. “Don’t make me ask again.” 

“I.. I’m alive.” You had no idea who you were talking to, it was a voice you didn’t recognise but one you’d never forget, maybe, just maybe they’d be the one who saved you.

—---

“I.. I’m alive.” Bucky nearly breaks down right there at the sound of your voice, Sam's hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes gently. 

“Why are you doing this?” Fury asks, he doesn’t really care why, he knows people like these guys have no moral compass but he’s trying to make the call last as long as he can so they can track it. 

“You took my brother away from me, I’m only getting him back.”

“At the cost of an innocent life?” 

“You mean her?” He scoffs. “Can’t be that innocent if she's dating the winter soldier.” Sam can feel Bucky’s shoulders tense under his touch at the mention of his past life. “Stop wasting my time, just get my brother back to me. I’ll send you an address in 1 hour. Be there or the girl dies.” The call ends before Fury can reply.

“We got them!” An agent Bucky doesn’t know shouts up from the back of the room. “Sir, we’ve got them.” 

Bucky immediately makes his way over to where the agent is sitting and tries to read the computer but has no luck, it’s all in code. “Where is she?” 

“Water Crescent Garage, on the other side of the city.” She replies, as she continues typing. “The jet will get you there in 15 minutes.”

“Let’s go.” Bucky’s out of the room before anyone can respond, running through the halls and reaching the jet before anyone else.

“Barnes, I’ll remind you. Stay calm or you’re off.”

“I know. I’m calm” He was most certainly calm. “Can we please just go?” His voice is dripping in desperation, he just wants you safe.

—-------

“Looks like Soldier wants you back, hmm?” The taller guy asks you, knowing you can’t answer him. “Maybe I’ll see what he’s getting every night huh?” He begins to run his fingers over your bare shoulder, nearing your neck and beginning to squeeze slightly. You try to move away but the rope keeps you in place. “This what he likes doing to you? He likes having control? He likes to own you?” He brings his other hand towards the zip on the side of your dress before an alarm stops him. He looks around to the other guy in the room. “Stay with her. I’ll go.”

The other guy grunts in response. Once the taller guy has left he walks towards you, gun in his hand. “You better hope your boyfriend isn’t trying something sweetheart. It won’t end well.” You don’t understand why these guys think you and Bucky were so serious, you’d only had one date. 

You start to hear gunshots in the distance, getting closer and closer to you every second. You were praying the good guys were winning and that they were here to save you. 

A few minutes pass when the door to your room bursts open and none other than Captain America himself walks in. It takes him less than 15 seconds to disarm and knock out the guy who was left with you, although it feels like longer for you. “Buck, I’ve got her.” He walks over to you and removes the cloth in your mouth. 

Bucky was here. “Bucky?” 

“Hey Y/N, I’m here to help okay?” He begins to untie the rope around your hands, careful to not hurt you. “Bucky’s on his way. It’s over.” 

As Sam was untying your feet Bucky runs into the room and rushes over to you. His heart breaks when he sees you upclose. Your cheeks that were so rosy just last night were now white as a ghost, your lips once red were now blue and bruised, the sparkle he had just seen hours ago in your eyes was now replaced with fear.

You stand up with the help of Sam and look towards Bucky. 

“Are you okay? Where does it hurt? Sam, call the doc, let her know we’re coming.” Bucky's eyes are moving around your body, scouting out every injury he can find and taking note of it.

The only thing you can bring yourself to say is thank you, your lip wobbles as you say it and your voice is shaky with each word but Bucky understands. “Tha.. Thank you for saving me.” 

He slowly reaches out to hold you against him, giving you enough time to tell him to stop if you want to. He wraps his arm around you, carefully avoiding anywhere that looks injured. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why they came after you. I promise as soon as I found out what was happening I started looking for you. I’m so sorry.” 

You shake your head, he doesn't owe you an apology, none of this was his fault. The motion only makes you feel nauseous, and you feel as if you might throw up if you move anymore. “I can’t. I can’t.. I feel sick.” Bucky stops as soon as you ask. 

“Can I carry you?”

“Please.” You were embarrassed to be feeling this weak but he didn’t seem bothered by it. He just seemed sad. 

—---

After you get seen by the avenger’s doctor and prescribed some pretty strong painkillers you finally arrive home. Bucky tried to get you to stay in for longer, he was worried you would be feeling worse once the shock had worn off but you insisted on coming home. You needed to be in your own space. 

“I’ll make you some food, you wanna get changed out of those?” You weren’t really hungry but you couldn't bring yourself to say no. You did want to badly get changed out of the clothes Natasha had lent you, they were very tight. 

“Thank you.” 

Bucky wanted to tell you to stop thanking him, you should be angry at him and it was killing him that you were treating him with so much kindness after everything you’d been through at his fault.

Bucky makes you a sandwich, knowing you probably wouldn't be too hungry. “It’s just to get some food in you. Some water too.” He said as he handed you a plate and glass of water. 

The next words that left Bucky’s mouth were ones he’d never wanted to say but it didn’t feel right staying with you after what he’d put you through. “Do you need anything else before I go?” 

You nearly choke as you swallow that bite. He gets down to his knee and looks up at you. “You okay?” You immediately start crying, not even trying to hide it. “Hey, what's wrong?” You hadn’t been apart from Bucky since he found you, and now that he was leaving you felt so scared again.

“I don’t wanna be alone.” His heart breaks again at how soft your voice comes out, almost as if you were afraid to speak.

He wants nothing more than to stay with you, keep you safe but he feels that with every second he spends with you the more you'll be at risk. 

“Is there anyone I can call to stay with you?” 

“Could you?” You almost whisper to him. 

“What was that?” He asks softly. 

“Could you stay?” 

“You really want me to?” 

“I do.” 

He almost, almost says yes before he remembers how you looked when he found you in that room. He stands up and backs away a little. “I don’t think I should.” 

You try to stand up and walk towards him but get a bit dizzy as you do, grabbing onto his arm for balance. “Why not?” 

“Doll, sit down.” He guides you gently back onto the couch. “It’s my fault you got hurt.”

“No Bucky, that’s not true. I really like you Bucky, and whilst this may not have been the second date we had in mind, I don’t want to lose you. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same.”

“I never said I didn't feel the same way, I just.. I just can't put you in any more danger.”

“The way I see it, you saved me from danger. And I know now that you’ll always be there to save me. Please stay?” He nods. 

“You’ll stay?”

Things had been tough since you graduated college, you had your degree, you’d done everything your parents had asked of you, but you’d never really done anything that you wanted. Your parents didn’t seem to care what you did now, you’d gotten your degree, you’d moved to the city, you’d got away. They’d “done their job” they told you, but what were you meant to do now.

That’s what has been on your mind the last few months and all the stress has finally caught up with you. You weren’t leaving the house, you were hardly eating, you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks. Then there was Sam, you’d been pretending to be okay around him, and it was killing you. You couldn’t do it anymore so you’d been avoiding him, first not going to his apartment, then cancelling plans, and now avoiding his text messages. It only made you feel worse but you couldn’t let him see you this way. He’d probably break up with me. 

You had bags under your eyes from the 2 hours of sleep you were getting each night, your eyes were red and irritated by the countless tears that had fallen from them. You hadn’t showered since you last saw Sam and that was only because he surprised you with a picnic in the park. 

You’d tried to enjoy that day but all you wanted was to lay in bed and cry, to forget about everything else. But more than anything you wanted Sam, wanted him to hold you, to tell you everything would work out, but that couldn’t happen. You couldn’t have him realise what a mess you were, you couldn’t risk him leaving you. 

So that’s how you ended up here, curled up into a ball in the dark on your sofa, crying quietly into your blanket and ignoring the feeling of a slight buzz from your phone beside you. You didn’t know who it was and quite frankly at this point you didn’t care. It had been like this since you woke up, you have no idea how long it’s been, and you had no intention of finding out. That would make you feel worse, knowing you’d wasted another day. You had no intention of moving at all, and that didn’t change when you heard a knock at your door. Just leave it, they’ll go away soon. But they didn’t, they kept knocking and knocking, until Sam’s voice came through the hard wood. His warm and gentle voice being the only thing breaking your almost comatose state. 

“Y/N? I know you’re in there, please I just need to see that you are okay. Please?” You felt your heart break as his voice cracked with his last word.

You freeze at first, not knowing what to do. If you didn’t answer you were 90% sure he would kick your door down. So you did the only thing you could do and walked slowly towards the door, cracking it open slightly, not even removing the chain. 

His head fly’s up from the spot he was staring at on the ground when he hears your door creak open. 

“Hi Sam.” 

“Y/N,” He goes to push the door open only to be met with the resistance of the chain. “Can you open the door properly? Please?” 

You don’t really want to let him into your depressive bubble but at the same time you wanted him, his warmth against your skin, the smell of his cologne that always made you feel safe. So you nod slightly and remove the chain. 

He immediately steps in and pulls you towards him. Your head finds its usual spot against his chest and his warmth seeps into you which instantly makes you feel a little bit lighter. 

“Thank god.” Sam sighs in relief as he wraps his arms around you, bringing his left hand up to the back of your head to cup it slightly. “I thought something had happened to you when you didn’t answer your phone all day, I was so worried about you baby.” 

All day? You had no clue that much time had passed, and now you were angry at yourself for worrying Sam, he doesn’t deserve all this. He deserves someone better. 

You start to feel your eyes burning as more tears threaten their escape. “I’m sorry Sammy.” 

“Hey, none of that, okay? You wanna tell me what’s going on?” 

Sam had kind of guessed what was happening, sure he mostly had experience working with Vets with PTSD, but he definitely knew the tell tale signs of depression. So when you started to pull away, and started acting not quite like yourself he had made sure to clear his schedule as much as he could to be there for you.

“I.. I don’t really know.”

“That’s okay baby. Can I stay with you for a bit?” 

You shake your head against his chest and start to pull away from him as it hits you how you look, how your apartment looks. Panic starts to overtake every other emotion already running though you. “Oh my god. The mess and I haven’t even- I look so gross and I didn’t-“ 

Sam cuts you off before you can spiral more. “Hey, take a breath. It’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay, nothing is okay anymore.” He guides you to the sofa gently and sits beside you, slightly turning himself in your direction. 

“Try and breathe for me, okay? In and out. Copy me.” You try to listen and copy his breathing. “That’s it, good girl. You're doing such a good job baby.” 

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” 

“What do you mean?” He replies, with a hint of confusion. 

You shake your head before continuing. “No, I don’t want to burden you Sam. You can leave if you want to, I’d understand.” You were so sure he’d leave, there was no way he could want to stay with you now. Right? Deep down you knew your brain was lying to you but you didn’t have it in you to fight what it was so easily telling you. 

“Baby,” He looks at you with pure concern and love in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, you can tell me what’s wrong, you can tell me anything.” 

You look down and start to play with your sleeves before you answer him. “It’s not what you’re made for, you don’t deserve to have to pick up all the pieces everytime I fall apart. You deserve someone who’s happy, and I…” You pause to try and figure out how to say what you are feeling. “I think I forgot how to be happy.” It comes out as an almost whisper, in fear of it chasing him away. 

Sam’s heart breaks hearing how you are feeling, he’s never felt this much love for someone or something before and wants nothing more than for you to be okay. He needs you to know how much you mean to him. 

“Y/N, look at me?” You shakily bring your eyes back up to him. “That’s exactly what I was made for, you’re everything to me and I want to help you in any way that I can. Who was there when I beat myself up for Karli’s death? You. Who picked me back up again when I worked myself too hard? You did. So please, let me help you. Let me in. I will be here to pick up every little piece of you for as long as you will have me.” 

The tears had managed to find an escape route now, and were freely rolling down your cheeks. You knew Sam loved you, he’d told you every chance he got and you hated that your brain could convince you otherwise.

“I love you Sam.” He brings his lips to your forehead and places a gentle kiss. 

“And I love you too, so much, and whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen, okay?” 

“Okay..” You weren’t ready to talk yet, you just wanted him. “Could you just hold me for now?” 

“Of course, anything you want.” 

He lays back on the sofa and brings you into his lap. Your head finds its place in his chest again, seeking his warmth. Things were silent for a few moments, each of you soaking up the feeling of being close with one another, until your stomach rumbling broke the silence. 

“Baby?” he asks gently but concerned. 

“Hmm?” You know where this is going but you try to play innocent. 

“Have you eaten anything today?” You shake your head in embarrassment that you hadn’t managed to do that.

“Want me to order something in?” You nod against him. “The usual?” 

“‘Mhmm. Can you get some of the-“ 

“Chocolate dumplings.” You say together which makes you both laugh, your first real laugh in a while and it feels nice.