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Happy pride month to all the queer people who don’t get to celebrate. To the ones that are experiencing their first pride, whether young or old. To the people who have found themselves, and to the ones who are still on that journey. Happy pride month to trans women and trans men alike, to the people that fall in between, to the people that experience neither. Happy pride month to the people who have to sit through sermon after sermon, who have to hide some part of themselves; this month is for you too.

very dear to me, these two🥰☺️

To: Attending and Resident Physicians, Medical Students, Nursing Staff, Security Staff, Administration and Support Staff

Subject: Urgent: Security Breach Involving Impersonation of Medical Staff and Unauthorized Patient Care

Message Sent with High Importance

Good morning staff,

I have been made aware of a significant breach in security this weekend, which lasted no fewer than five hours and endangered no fewer than three patients. This incident also involved a high-profile patient, which poses notable public relations and legal risk to our hospital.

During what should have been a routine imaging delay, said patient was left unaccompanied long enough to acquire hospital scrubs, after which he proceeded to convincingly—if not competently—impersonate a member of our medical team. 

Reports confirm he entered multiple restricted areas and performed at least one unauthorized intervention in the emergency department. While I am relieved to note that the outcome was not catastrophic, “not catastrophic” is not the benchmark to which this institution aspires.

Equally concerning are credible accounts that he issued what can only be described as a cross-border abduction threat toward a medical resident. I should not have to clarify that neither involuntary relocation nor amateur medical procedures fall within hospital policy. 

Effective immediately, all departments are to review patient supervision protocols. Further reminders on badge security, staff identification, and the general inadvisability of allowing unlicensed individuals to practice medicine will follow.

Regards,

Gloria Underwood, MD