Love ur qaf thoughts! What's going on Justin's mind during their second breakup? Does he still miss Brian during that time ?
Definitely. I mean, he hugged Brian when he broke things off with him, but I don't think it was so much a break up as a "I need to do this for me and also for you."
Brian was at one of his worst moments in season 5. Let's look at the scene:
Justin: You already know what I want. I've already told you.
Brian: That's right, you have. A husband, a family, a home, all the things that makes life worth living.
Justin: Would you fŐœcking cut it out!? Just stop it. And I know you can't give me those things.
Brian: Not can't. Can't implies that I'm incapable. It's that I won't.
Justin: I accept that. I suppose that's why I've always loved you.
Brian: Oh, the untamable beast.
Justin: But to be a couple, though, both people have to want the same things, to move in the same direction. If they can't or won't, they have no where to go.
"Damned if I know" when Justin asked why they were still doing this was clearly not what Justin wanted to hear, Brian. Brian made the same mistake as in season 2--he didn't fight for Justin. Bad Brian.
Later in the same episode, Justin literally tells Deb and Emmett "Even though I miss Brian and I wish we were still together... this will be good for me, right?" Followed by awkward silence. It's not that Justin wanted to leave Brian. It's that he does deserve what he wants in life, too. Frankly, Brian needed the wakeup call.
Why? Because Brian needed to be the one to make a choice this time--to choose Justin. It's set up as a choice by Brian deliberately calling out the issue in the breakup conversation with Justin--it's not that he can't. It's that he won't. It's his choice. He needs to make a better one.
Fortunately, Brian then does get it together. But the ironic thing is that Brian immediately tried to cast off all his vices, become a perfect husband-to-be, and that wasn't what Justin wanted. He never wanted that. He always wanted Brian--flaws and all.
Brian: Look, I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure, and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in, so they can get laid. Then they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that's what you want, then go and find yourself a pretty little girl... and get married.
Justin: That's not what I want. I want you.
Justin doesn't want a marriage based on a lie, on Brian denying parts of himself. Now, that doesn't mean Justin doesn't want Brian to grow up or improve, but it does mean that he loves Brian even at his worst--which is agape, unconditional love, which Brian finally acknowledges with his "it's only time" comment. And Brian is capable of choosing Justin--Justin knows this now. He's not quite there yet--there being a place where he's ready to give Justin what he wants and himself--but he's made massive progress, and it's only time. They'll get there.
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