My Thoughts Out Loud

I’m terrified of thunder storms.

The lightning feels like a punishment

sent from the Gods.

So it’s no wonder my electric loves died out.

I was always holding my breath.

They were brilliant, terrifying, Short.

But you,

You are a comforting fireplace

on a winters day.

Not electric, but light all the same.

A stolen gift bestowed by a Titan

fit only for Gods

And even when no crackling sparks remain,

I know we can breath life

into the embers that keep me warm

and our flames will reignite

I will savour the gift of fire

over the fear of lightning any day

i used to scream for help

until i was choking on blood

from my raw torn throat

and now with just one look

you reach out your palm

and carry my pain

as easily as i’ll carry your name

- i found someone with bigger hands

And I sat in the shower crying my heart out

Only paused to pick up a call from my mom

Like somehow she knew

She always knows

And she told me it would all be ok

That I was loved

That everything would work out

And for once I believed her

- sometimes the end doesn’t have to be the end

- depression

i’m starting to think

that maybe time

doesn’t heal all wounds

hoping you’ll come back?

- i’m tired

I am a stone

Surrounded by crashing waves

Constant and rough

Designed to erode me

And yet I stay soft

It shone most with you

And when it started to disappear

Like a dim waning moon

You started to fade away too

- You only loved me when I smiled

or a thundering hurricane

never settle for less than

but how can i say

that i’m scared of becoming her

Alone.

waiting to meet someone

who deserves me

to make yourself whole

- i’m yours for the taking

I could lead more with the heart

than with the head

But now

when my heart aches so badly

that I’m sure

it’s trying to crawl out of my chest

to get back home to you

I wish I could get rid of it completely

- Thank god for my head

I hope

that as you warm the beds

of all the women with my face

that you find in them

what you couldn’t find in me

- there is a difference

You used to ask me to warm your heart

And when I no longer set your soul ablaze

You left me and asked me to warm your bed

i held back pieces of myself to protect you, and somehow i was still too much to hold.

- i needed someone with bigger hands

you were the sweetest honey

that’s ever touched my lips.

i couldn’t help but swallow you whole.

i wish i knew then,

that antifreeze tastes

just as sweet as honey