F is for... Free

dude. remember the 90's?

Ed note: lives of staff were saved when a brave soul threw this out.

the future is yours

what a saucy little bitch, amirite?

I like hygiene as much as the next person. And I like things in shapes of other things. But I don't really like them together. Especially used.

Oh hey, they're still here! Looks like no one needs to keep their hair back or needs a new pen.

chewed up pencils and used bobby pins. in a cheap plastic cup? new low.

But seriously folks, I think these are from the office of a new retiree.

I'm assuming this is scary for kids, so the only redeeming quality is that it's probably (better be) glow-in-the-dark.

I heart wine, too

also, breast cancer awareness and car sharing. not on the loose.

I just want to go with this mostly-drunk vitamin water as a free item. I mean, you never really know on this table. Truly.

Are you getting married? Do you want one decorative bell? PERFECT!

or give it to a homeless shelter.

Your Medusa needs have been met.

soooooo.....

You need to invest in some mints