oops, i wrote this

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Lately, I’ve been disappearing without actually going anywhere.

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I still wake up and scroll before my brain fully loads. I still save posts that feel like they were written for me specifically. I still exist here—just softer. Quieter. Less interested in being seen.

There was a time when I felt like every feeling had to be shared. Every thought needed a caption. Every phase required proof. Now, I let things happen without reaching for my phone. I let moments pass without turning them into something consumable.

Soft quitting the internet looks like this:

Posting late, or not at all.

Replying when it feels right.

Keeping some joy unannounced.

Keeping some sadness unnamed.

It’s realizing that not everything has to be understood by others to be real. That you can grow in private. That you can change without an explanation post.

I still love the internet in small, tender ways. The late-night reading. The poetry screenshots. The strangers who accidentally put my feelings into words. I just don’t want to live inside it anymore.

This isn’t a goodbye.

It’s a dimming.

A step back into my own head.

A decision to be a person first and a presence second.

Maybe this is what peace looks like now.

Quiet.

Intentional.

These past few weeks have been…

quiet,

mostly.

Work has been keeping me on my toes, and some days it feels like the weeks just blur together. It’s busy, but not in a bad way. Just the kind of busy that makes you appreciate the little things more ☕✨ (like when your coffee actually stays warm for five minutes).

I got a new dog. 🐾🐶

Big, loud, and full of energy. Honestly, it’s been a handful, but in the best way. Paw prints on the floor, little naps in weird positions, the occasional chew on a sock I forgot to put away… it’s messy, but it’s full of joy. They’ve reminded me to slow down, celebrate small victories, and find reasons to smile at the random little moments I’d usually overlook. I never thought I’d get this excited over a tail wag or a squeaky toy, but here we are. 💕

When I’m not working or managing puppy chaos, I mostly stay in. Cozy gaming has become my favorite escape. Nothing fancy, just small, comforting worlds I can get lost in. Most of the games I play are:

Stardew Valley

Hello Kitty Island Adventure

A Little To The Left

Unpacking

and a few more cozy games. 🎮

I’ve also started noticing the little routines that make life feel soft. ☕️

Morning coffee in the quiet, texts with friends I don’t see often, songs I’ve had on repeat, lazy afternoons spent reorganizing my space, or just staring out the window. It’s nothing glamorous, but it’s mine. And somehow, these tiny moments make everything feel a little more intentional.

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Life lately feels slow, low-key, and a little messy — but I like it. It’s not about having exciting stories to tell or big adventures to post about. It’s about quiet moments, soft routines, and little pockets of happiness in between. ✨

I’m a huge SB19 fan.

I’m an Aurum and an A’TIN.

Yes… I’ve been their fan even before the A’TIN fandom existed. I am a fan since mid 2019.

But lately, I feel like I’m slowly turning away or whatever.

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1. I barely watch their videos anymore.

Tiktoks, shorts, vlogs… most of the time I skip them.

Concert vlogs? Almost never.

The only thing I still watch consistently are ShowBreak episodes… and even then, I’m usually a week or two late.

2. Merch? Not buying anymore.

Last thing I got was the Pagtatag shirt.

I went to SaW kickoff in Bulacan, but didn’t get any merch.

3. SaW Homecoming (WaS)? Not feeling it.

The venue’s not great, I get tired standing, I’m too small to see from a seat…

Honestly, I don’t want to spend the whole time staring at a screen.

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Don’t get me wrong.

I still love them.

I support them in small ways—still in Pack and Limbo.

I stream their music sometimes.

And I’m still proud of all they’ve achieved.

But… is this just a phase I’ll get past?

Or does it really get to the point where you retire as a fan?

They were the first group I stan, so I have no idea if this is normal.

⸻

Maybe it’s okay to love something quietly.

Maybe fandom doesn’t have to look the same forever.

I can still care, still cheer, still feel proud… even if it’s from the sidelines.

even if we can’t be together.

You don’t want me to leave,

and yet, you don’t do things

pero sana ngayon ‘di na ga’no kasakit.

Kaya ko’ng kalimutan lahat,

But growing old, I realized I was wrong with my perception of beauty. The society made us believe that pretty girls are dumb, while smart girls are nerds. They’re wrong. Because someone’s beauty should not to based on how smart or capable they are. Being pretty is not just having a pretty face. Your heart, character, mind and soul say so much more than what your face could ever say. Beauty is from the inside out. Beauty is confidence. And now I appreciate my own self so much more than before.

Thank you so much for your love and support!

I have always loved writing, but I somehow lost that passion way back. I love writing about people, but when I lost them, I lost all the words too. But these kinds of messages keep me going. And now I’m trying to gain my passion back.

of floating in a sky

unaware if there is rain

or if the clouds are dry

wondering if it is day

or is it night

disappearing into the world

and alone i create mine

suddenly i awoke

and fear I felt

i never want to dream

of oblivion again