Vortex of words

So I like hot stuff. I’m not like, a dick about it. I don’t brag because there are people out there that can handle waaaay hotter foods than me. It’s not a competition. So I’m at Tijuana Flats, a “mexican” food restaurant chain famous for their hot sauce bar. All in all, what they put out on the bar isn’t the spiciest stuff in the world, but you’ll find some delicious gems in there. I immediately look at whatever is marked black as hottest for the day (they change them) and immediately go to pump some into the little paper containers provided when… “Whooaaa, sweetheart you don’t want to do that,” I turned around and there’s this skinny guy in jeans and a logo polo. There’s another dude wearing the same shirt, so they must have come here from some sad IT job. I’m a little taken aback at this dude’s presumption that I am ignorant to what I’m doing, but I blow it off. ”Nah, man, it’s got the black label, I haven’t tried this one yet.” ”Are you sure? It’s really spicy.”  ”I’m pretty sure dude.” ”I don’t think you should, because it was a bit much for me.” At this point I’m feeling patronized. I stare at him.  “It’s fine. Really.” “Oooookay,” He says in this exasperated, don’t-say-I-didn’t-warn-you kind of voice. I get my hot sauce and sit down. Food arrives, I taste it with a chip first to test. It’s super sweet, actually. I dump the whole thing on my taco. I don’t know if he’s watching.  I go up to the counter and ask the manager to ring me up a bottle of the sauce to take home. It was pretty delicious! Manager says he’ll bring it to my table. They bring it, I pay, and the server asks if I’m into hot sauces - of course I say yes. Hot Sauce Police is now watching. She brings me an assortment of sauces they do not serve at the bar because of liability reasons. One of them was rated at 1.5 million Scoville units. I bought all of them, signing the credit card slip as he watches.

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

What was your favourite book as a child?

Do you prefer baths or showers?

If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

What is your favourite item of clothing?

Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

Who is a mentor to you?

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

Are you a restless sleeper?

Do you consider yourself a romantic?

Which element best represents you?

Who do you want to be closer to?

Do you miss someone at the moment?

Tell us about an early childhood memory.

What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

What can you see outside your bedroom window?

What are you most thankful for?

Do you like spicy food?

Have you ever met someone famous?

Do you keep a diary or journal?

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

What is your star sign?

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

What would you want your legacy to be?

Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

How do you show someone you love them?

Do you like ice in your drinks?

What are you afraid of?

What is your favourite scent?

Do you address older people by their first or last name?

If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

What can you hear right now?

Where do you feel the safest?

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

What is your most used emoji?

What is your favourite season? Why?

How would you spend your ideal day?

Describe yourself using one word.

What do you regret the most?

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

What was your favourite book as a child?

Do you prefer baths or showers?

If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

What is your favourite item of clothing?

Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

Who is a mentor to you?

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

Are you a restless sleeper?

Do you consider yourself a romantic?

Which element best represents you?

Who do you want to be closer to?

Do you miss someone at the moment?

Tell us about an early childhood memory.

What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

What can you see outside your bedroom window?

What are you most thankful for?

Do you like spicy food?

Have you ever met someone famous?

Do you keep a diary or journal?

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

What is your star sign?

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

What would you want your legacy to be?

Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

How do you show someone you love them?

Do you like ice in your drinks?

What are you afraid of?

What is your favourite scent?

Do you address older people by their first or last name?

If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

What can you hear right now?

Where do you feel the safest?

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

What is your most used emoji?

What is your favourite season? Why?

How would you spend your ideal day?

Describe yourself using one word.

What do you regret the most?

[WOMAN (OFF-CAMERA):] He’s gonna come sit by you.

[MAN:] That’s crazy!

[WOMAN (LAUGHING):] Try to pet him.

[MAN:] No, nah, he’s got that big-ass beak on him!

[BIRD:] Fuck you!

Heather, Heather, Heather, Veronica

woman: OOOOoOOH NoO!!!! It’s meelltIINNGG!!

*ring melts off woman’s hand*

woman: MY PRECIOUS POWERRrRR RING! GONE FOORRVVERrrr..

I’m in tears tonight.

I came home late from my parents’, one of my roommates is home in the kitchen I sit and chat for a bit.

Its 1am and the doorbell rings, I grab the machete we keep by the door and peek out the door and there’s a car in my drive way. I try to see and can’t so I slowly open the door with my foot resting on the back incase someone tried to barge in. I look out and it’s my other roommate/best fucking friend and she was being held up by her guy friend. She’s drunk as shit, throwing up in the bushes. He helps me get her upstairs to her room. She tells me she punched a guy in the dick for touching her vagina. Her friend didn’t really explain what happened but at this point I’m just like “thanks for getting her home safe, I got it from here” and after he leaves she bursts into tears and tells me some asshole #1 at the bar was talking to her and was trying to get his friend asshole #2 to grab her ass and she, being the drunk, feisty thing she is, objected so asshole #1 took asshole #2’s hand and forced it onto her crotch. So she punched asshole #1 in the dick, and caused a commotion.

So her friend is trying to find out what happened all the while she’s getting yelled at but everyone is acting like she should have just let it go, ignored it.