I’m happy for you … 2
kristineyoshaii said to writingchalamet: Hi I love your stories 😍❤️ can
Hey guyyyss! It’s been nearly 2 years since I have posted anything, I’m so sorry firstly I would like to say I hope everyone has been managing okay through this pandemic, I have been working throughout the whole thing so have had no time to do anything, but I now have 3 months off due to an illness so I’m hoping that means more time for writing, while I’m back I want everyone to know that this is still an open space for ideas and if anyone needs to talk please feel free to message me! Lots of love! Oh and by the way I am completely winging this one shot I’m making it up as I go along so let’s hope it turns out ok!
It had been seven months since Timothée had left the apartment. The first month you spent mostly sobbing into his pillow at night, trying to encase your self in whatever scent was reminiscent on it. You would find things around the house of his that he had left behind, like his watch and an old jumper that he would always moan at you for stealing, lying crumpled up at the bottom of the wardrobe. He had left his razor and shaving foam in the bathroom cabinet and you hadn’t the heart to throw them away. All things that were replaceable for him but for you they held a certain sentiment.
You used to love sitting on the edge of the bath brushing your teeth as he shaved trying to hold a conversation while your mouth foamed up, which often lead to the pair of you in fits of laughter. So you held onto the razor for safe keeping. Another month past and your friends suggest it’s time for you to get out of the house, other than for work, though you had admittedly found it immensely hard to leave even for that, for walking the streets of New York gave you a new found fear of bumping into him and…her.
You had seen them on his social media before removing yourself from the sites, they seemed happy and in love and it killed you, to think that the person you were in love with was in love with someone else, and you don’t know how long for. Your tipping edge with social media was a lovely picture of the pair sharing a kiss for her birthday post, which was close to yours. It felt like a knife had been plunged through your chest. On one side you were happy to see him so full of life, something he had been missing the last few moths of your relationship but the other half just wished things could have worked out. You hated the fear of opening your phone to find another picture of them, but at the same time hated the idea of blocking him out of your life, hence your social media blackout.
More months past and eventually things started to feel normal again, you’d plucked up the courage to take down the photos of him surrounding the walls of the apartment and get rid of the rest of his belongings. You’d even decided to redecorate the apartment to make it feel more you, and less him. Strolling down the aisles of a hardware store with your friend Oscar you look through what seems to be a thousand shades of green before landing on the perfect one.
“Now y/n are you sure you don’t like breakfast room green?” Oscar gives you stern but playful look, you can tell he is getting tired of looking at paint cans but you are just glad to have some company. “No, I definitely think it’s forest green for me thanks” you smirk and take the paint can from his hands and place it back on the shelf. “What else is on the list?” Oscar asks hesitantly, you’d already been shopping for an hour and we’re too ready to get back home. “Nothing, this was the last thing so let’s go”
You had found tranquillity in your new environment and in being alone, but still didn’t have the confidence of going out, admittedly there were times you forgot Timothée existed, your friends refused to bring him up and you never went on your phone anymore to see anyone mention him. But seven moths down the line you still haven’t let loose and lived your life since he’s been gone.
“C’mon y/n you have to come, it’s Christmas Eve, you can’t sit in alone all night, especially when you’re not seeing your family tomorrow, for one night just please c’mon!” Your closest friend Erica pleaded to you over the phone, there was a Christmas party happening in the east village and for weeks now you had been putting off the invite, always coming up with some excuse or the other but she knew you better than anyone and she knew the only reason you didn’t want to go was because of Timothée. “Y/n, I’m gonna keep begging until you say yes, please please please please please plea-“ “okay fine I’ll go, just please shut up, and if we bump into him, I’m leaving okay!” You protested eyes scrunching, you held your phone away from your head as you heard Erica screech from the other end of the line. “Yes, okay deal, but he won’t be there, in all of New York I can guarantee there will be at least a hundred parties going on tonight so don’t worry yourself, just put on something sparkly and I’ll see you in an hour!”
An hour passes and sure enough there is a short buzz from the intercom to your apartment, you walk over to the door picking up the phone checking it’s Erica, “hello?” You quiz, “yeah it’s me genius you expecting anyone else, now let me up it’s snowing and I’m freezing!” She snaps you laugh and buzz her in. Shortly after you hear her heals clicking up the stairs in the hallway, you left the door on the latch for her to walk straight in. You eyeball her appearance and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. “Seriously Erica, a slip dress and a leather jacket? You’re gonna get hyperthermia where’s your coat?!” You practically shout , waltzing towards her, “what are you my mother! Now put on a red lip and let’s go!” You roll your eyes but do as she says to save yourself an argument. You put on your coat hat gloves and scarf and make your way back out the bedroom. “Jesus Christ you’re supposed to look like angel Gabriel not the Virgin Mary, why have you covered up so much!” “Because it’s winter Erica. And in case you didn’t know, you can take off clothes but you can’t recover from pneumonia when you’re dead, so I suggest you wrap up and shut up because we’re gonna be late.” Her mouth drops in shock but soon closes in the realisation that this is the first time she has seen the ‘real’ you in months, she borrows a coat and you both head out the door.
The party is already in full swing by the time you both arrive. You soon find the rest of your friends and you have to admit you have missed going out and socialising and just feeling normal again. You dance abs drink and have a good time feeling all the festivities. You admire the Christmas lights that gleam around the room and the open fire and stop for a second and think about tomorrow, how this will be your first Christmas not spent in the chalamet household, with his mums cooking, and watching him and his sister joke and feeling part of a family. It all gets too much just for one split second. You breathe “I’m just gonna go and get some air” you smile at your friends so they don’t let on that you’re not okay. They have spent too long missing out on things because of you, you don’t want them to lose another night.
You weave through the crowds of people everyone and then muttering a ‘sorry’ as you bump into someone. You finally see the patio doors insight and walk just a little bit faster, not looking at all where you’re going when you crash into someone with their hands full with at least four drinks in their hands. The cold liquid spills all down your front and you gasp at the icey liquid touching your skin. “I am so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going I-“ you would recognise that voice from anywhere, it was him.
Though as soon as his eyes met yours they dropped, as though he felt guilty about something, but what did he have to feel guilty about? You stood there for a moment like a deer in the headlights just staring at him before you bolted in the opposite direction, headed for the front door. “Y/n! Y/n come back, shit” you distantly heard your name being called but you didn’t care, you don’t know why you ran but you just knew you weren’t ready for whatever was about to happen. You reach the front door and run out into the snow, quickly realising what a terrible idea it truly was having forgotten your coat inside, luckily you still had your bag, so it would only be a short walk to a main road to hail a cab. You shivered as the freezing air pinched your skin like daggers. You silently thanked yourself for wearing boots instead of the stiletto option you were going to go for, though still tricky to walk as the heels of your boots have you little to no grip on the snow. “Y/n… y/n please wait!” You heard behind you and the front door slamming, though you had gotten quite far down this ridiculously long drive way you could still make out his figure bundling towards you. “Go away Timothée!” You yelled back towards him careful not to slip as your twist yourself back to face him. “Y/n you’re gonna freeze out here, please just come back inside” you hear him speeding up and soon after a thud followed by a grunt, you turn yourself to see him lying on his back in the snow. “Are you alright?” You yell, you don’t wait for a spoken response his nod and his sitting up is enough for you, he has gained enough distance now to be in reach of you, so you decide to turn around again and make your way to the road. You stand there for a few moments waiting for a cab to drive past before bailing one down.
When one pulls up you slide yourself in the backseat, and miss Timothée’s slick manoeuvre into the other passenger side next to you. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing!” You whisper shout at the boy beside you. “Making sure you get home okay, you still live at the apartment?” You give up protesting and nod facing the front. Timothée tells the driver the address and you sit in silent the rest of the journey. You arrive at the apartment and Timothée follows you up to the flat, you open the door and he steps inside for the first time since his departure. He takes in a deep breath and looks around the place a lot has changed since he had left, the place looked more girly, more to your taste, but In Timothée’s mind it still felt like home. He walked around the front room stopping at the picture frames that used to hold his images, he stopped and started at them and frowned for a moment, for his spot had been taken by your friends and family, and pictures of cats, you had always loved cats and the pair of you had always spoken about getting one some day.
“I like what you’ve done with the place” you let out a breath and nod your head. Your heals clicking against the hardwood floor as you shuffle your feet. “What are you doing here Timmy?” “Timmy, been a long time since you called me that” you interrupt him “you didn’t answer my question”. He sighs and looks you dead in the eye. “Amy and I broke up, a while ago actually, I wanted to call you, text you, I even stood outside the building a few times waiting to see if you’d come outside, I never saw you though. I figured you’d moved on, moved out of the apartment.”
“No I never left. In fact tonight was my first actual time out of the house since we broke up, so while you’ve been out having a good time enjoying your life. I’ve been here miserable, everyday. So I ask you again, what are you doing here?” A tear slipped from your eye as you realised he had only come he to gloat.
“I’m still in love with you y/n, that’s what I’m doing here.” He launched himself towards you his hands wrapping themselves around your arms but you protested, Shoving him away from you, you trod around to the other side of the sofa creating some space between you much like he did all those months before. “No, Timothée you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to come into my home after all these months when I’m finally getting back to normal again and turn things upside down because that’s not fair! I waited for you for months, I kept your things, I kept your photos up for fuck sake I didn’t even wash the bed sheets because I didn’t want to wash away anything that had been touched by you. And you never showed up” you break into a fit of sobs finding it hard to breath being around him after so much time. He stumbles towards you naturally in his mind to comfort you, you try and push him away but he only pulls you closer.
“Please, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I don’t know why I did what I did, but all I can do know is tell you I love you, shh please calm down” he strokes the hair away from your face occasionally kissing the side of your head, he keeps cradling you out of fear you’ll slip away like he did all those months ago. You gain your steady breath back and scramble your way out of his lap, the large sequins on your dress shaking and knocking together as you stand, you wipe the tears from your face and head towards the kitchen for a glass of water, once you’ve contained yourself you stare at the boy in front of you. He looks disheveled and out of sorts but all you know is you still love him.
“I love you too, Timothée” his head raises in hope and he takes a step closer, your hand reaches out to stop him before he can get any closer to you. “But you broke my heart, and I don’t think I can trust you not to break it again” your eyes fill with tears again and you feel your heart sink in your chest even more than it did the last time. “I think you need to go, Timmy” he nods his head eyes not leaving the floor. He reaches door as he makes his way out he turns to you once more “y/n, if you have truly moved on with your life, I’m happy for you” and then the door is closed.
