#namy

Amy takes a deep breath and grows somber in his arms. She ducks his gaze by leaning back against his chest. Nathan adjusts his position around her, but only finds comfort again when she speaks. “Hanging out is what we started off doing in our open adjoining fields. Now that we’ve found this new beautiful spot hidden in the middle of these birch trees, I don’t know what I’d say we’re doing.”

“Hmm,” Nathan withholds any further reply. He chooses instead to trace her arm up and down with his fingers and bury his chin in the curve of her neck.

“Whatever we’re doing, it’s important to me.” Amy nuzzles against him. “You’ve made me feel things I haven’t felt in years.” She brings a palm to his cheek and turns him to her. “I’m in this, Nathan.”

He matches her intensity and sincerity as he promises her, “Me too.” He strokes her face with his thumb, bringing her closer. “To all of it.”

Before Amy can respond, Nathan leans down to capture her lips. She meets his kiss with enthusiasm, raising her fingers to the nape of neck and into his hair to pull him closer.  His hand lowers from her cheek and wraps around the small of her back. Their kiss deepens and their surroundings disappear. The sounds of babbling brook, the crickets hidden in grass, and the horses’ tails whipping the flies away all fade away as they embrace.

Nathan pulls back first. Amy gives him a kiss on the cheek before returning to rest against his chest. His hand returns to her cheek as she gives him a small smile.

He hesitates before speaking. “As much as I love it, here, with you,” his arm lowers to her shoulder.  She searches his face, anticipating his point. “We can’t hide out here forever.”

“I thought you wanted to keep things between us,” Amy responds thoughtfully.

“I do,” he assures her. “I do. I just want to be sure on we’re on the same page before someone somehow figures it out.”

“Okay. That’s fair,” She reflects for a moment. “I think we’re on the same page here. I mean we just said we’re in this—together, right?”

“Yeah,” He strokes her arm in reassurance. “We are.”

“Okay, so?” She turns back to him, waiting for him to explain further. When he doesn’t, she offers. “Things don’t have to change, Nathan.” Amy reassures him. “We can still meet here.”

“Amy,” he says softly. “We can’t keep meeting here every day and then pretending we barely know each other around our families.”

“Okay,” Amy catches the slight edge to his words. “And would you like that to change? Because,” she keeps a neutrality to her voice, hoping to sound curious rather than accusatory, “Last time we talked about it, you didn’t.”

“It was a mutual decision,” Nathan corrects her.

“Okay,” Amy nods in his reply. “And now it’s not?”

“No. Yes.” He detangles this bodies and throws his arms in air. “I don’t know.” He plants his hands behind him and leans back. “I don’t know how much longer we can keep hiding this. And I don’t know how we’re going to start to being seen together—”

“Oh, there’s no starting.” Amy interrupts, “Once one person in my family knows, everyone is going to know—”

“Yeah,” Nathan nods. “Kind of my point here.”

“Okay…” Amy repeats herself again, still trying to figure out what he wanted. “So…do you want to start telling people?”

“No,” he tries to speak seriously. “I don’t want to tell people. What I want is for people to know we’re together without having to explain or defend anything to anyone.”

“Ah. Very admirable goal,” Amy smiles, repositioning herself across from him. “Good luck with that.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “That’s what I thought.”

“There’s probably a middle ground,” Amy offers, hesitating slightly. “Where we don’t have to be as private about it and we don’t say anything either.” She notices him perk up at the idea. “But people are going to start asking questions sooner or later.”

“So, we ease into it,” He leans forward. “I kind of like that.”

“There’s no guarantee it’ll work, through,” she warns. “One person could catch something right away and the inquires could come on as an onslaught.”

“Yeah,” he agrees with a nod. “They could.”

For a moment, they sit in silence, letting the magnitude of the change in their relationship and the change in their decisions about it sit between them.

Amy scoots closer to him. She extends her leg out so her foot nudges his leg in reassurance. “As long as we know we’ll get through it together, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Together,” he leans forward for a kiss. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Good,” Amy settles it.

“So…” Nathan imagines being around her whole family this coming weekend. “What does that mean for the cattle drive tomorrow?”

“Oh,” Amy starts seriously. She crosses her legs on the blanket, sitting up straighter. “I’m not going on the cattle drive.”

“What?” He retreats in surprise. “Why? Is it Lyndy?”

“No, no. Lyndy is coming with me,” Amy points across the field. “I’m doing a horse clinic. I’ll be gone most of the day.” 

“Oh,” Nathan quiets in reflection. “I thought you’d be there tomorrow. I was looking forward to it.”

“You’ll just have to tolerate my dad and grandpa without me,” Amy smiles, “Sorry.”

“You’re leaving me to the wolves, huh?”

She chuckles. “Lou will be there. It shouldn’t be that bad.”

“It just…” he searches for something to say. “It won’t be the same without you.”

“It’ll be fine,” she promises. She uncrosses her legs, “Speaking of tomorrow, I actually have to go prep some things,” she stands and brushes off. “I wish I could stay…”

“No, no,” Nathan stands after her, “I should go too.” When she steps off the blanket, he tugs it up and rolls it together.

Amy starts to mount Shadow, but then turns back to him, her long hair flipping around her. “Umm…” she reaches for him and he steps into her arms. “Thanks for the people break.”

He smiles, “Anytime.” He leans in for a kiss and she meets him a final time, stroking his cheek as she does so. “I’ll see you later.”

Just thinking about finding her walking and them double riding a couple days past sent a teen aged shudder through him mimicking that exact same feeling he had when she slipped her arms around him. He had to tell her, he couldn’t keep on like this, it would drive him crazy, was, driving him crazy.

Then he thought about Gracie and shuddered for a completely different reason. He should have realized that as soon as he signed his father into the home there would be legal consequences. He shook his head and decided that he wouldn’t have thought of her anyway. She hadn’t been in touch in years even after he knew she had been told about their dad and what was the deal with her and Heartland.

Lou and Gracie, why me?

Heading home, having just reminded himself of her, he once again thought about Amy, all the way to the house where, to his surprise, he thankfully wasn’t met by his irate sister.

Amy left the round pen and after getting Stetson settled, headed into the house to change from work clothes to party clothes and join the fun or at least pretend to. She was thrilled to see Ashley and was relieved to hear that Caleb had moved on from his fantasy of her and him as a couple. She found the whole thing very weird and was glad that it was over.

Stetson. Just thinking about him brought Friday to mind where the memory popped up at the oddest times and the goosebumps ran haphazardly over her body exactly as they had when, finding her wandering home after being abandoned, she hopped up behind him and slipped her arms around him as he rode her home.

He was all she could think about or at least it seemed that way. Even Lyndy reminded her of him, Lyndy truly liked Nathan and Amy wondered if her daughter knew how her mom felt. This was not like how she felt with Ty or Finn. Maybe because she went there with both or tried to with Finn. Finn turned sour fast but at least she gave herself the chance. Being away from Nathan was painful for her, she knew she loved him, she could feel his love for her, she could see it in his eyes and his smile, but for now; they had decided not to take that chance.

Nathan sat on the edge of his bed holding his head in his hands for a minute before heading into the bathroom to wash up and then he remembered the open house and Kyle and Amy’s invitation and decided. This has got to end one way or another. Dad was right, he was madly in love with Amy and just had to tell her, get it over with. The hell with his sister and her sister for that matter; he’d deal with both of them and everything else after. A few minutes later he was at his wardrobe picking a shirt and noticing that he had butterflies building up in his stomach.

Amy checked herself in the mirror and absentmindedly adjusted her dress and top before reaching for her well worn boots on the bottom shelf of her wardrobe and slipping her feet in. After a minute of checking her hair and face she sighed and headed outside.

Nathan saw his sister’s truck coming down the road towards him and slow down as if she wanted to talk. He had no desire to stop or chat and just drove past heading to Heartland. He’d tell her he didn’t see her and she would know he was lying but what the hell, it couldn’t possibly worsen their relationship.

Amy came out and walked to the edge of the path and through the small fence that separated the house from the ranch proper and stopped for a second to listen to the band that only existed here because of Kyle Mcearney’s relationship with Nathan. One more reminder. They were good and Amy immediately thought back to dancing with Nathan. Lisa served waffles for breakfast that morning, her favorite except they reminded her of him too. There was no getting away from her thinking about him. It was driving her crazy.

She put two and two together as soon as she saw Ashley dancing with Caleb and smiled. Seriously, he could have mentioned that his mysterious woman from the past was his ex-wife. She was surprised when she watched them start towards the parked cars and trucks and they noticed each other. They said they were heading off to catch the sunset and Amy was happy for them.

She was also surprised when Caleb asked for a second alone with her to ask what she thought of him and Ash giving it another shot, actually, a third shot and Amy felt it was fine, and told him so, after all, she thought to herself, third time’s a charm.

She watched them leave and scanned the crowd. She saw Tim dancing with Jess, her Grandpa doing the same with Lisa and Lyndy dancing with Katie while Lou snuggled with Peter at the picnic table watching them. All the adults in her life coupled up and in love, all except her, in love and apart. She realized at the moment that her unhappiness wouldn’t go over well, and she really didn’t want her sister’s small talk, she just wanted to be alone and found herself unconsciously walking to that field beyond the pond where she might find some solace to her thoughts and peace watching the sunset.

Nathan pulled up onto the lawn they had set aside for parking and saw Caleb and a blonde woman he didn’t recognize walking towards him though actually towards Caleb’s truck which he realized was not far from his.

“Hey Caleb.” He said as he got out of his truck and then walked towards the couple.

“Hey Nathan, how’ve you been? How’s your dad?”

“I’m good and I’ve moved Dad into a home, seems the best for now, we’ll see.”

“I hope it works out, Alzheimer’s sucks.”

“Thanks, yeah it does.”

“This is Ashley Stanton, Ash, meet Nathan Pryce, Pryce Ranch.”

“Oh, hey Ashley, Briar Ridge right? Good to meet you.”

“Good to meet you too Nathan.”

Caleb smiled “I actually didn’t expect to see you today.”

“Amy invited me yesterday and I know the band, any idea of where she might be?”

“We just spoke with her, I’m sure she’s in the crowd somewhere.”

“I guess I should go find her then, I’ll see you Caleb. Ashley it was good meeting you.”

“You too Nathan, have a good day.” Ashley said with Caleb’s nod along as they turned arm in arm towards Caleb’s truck.

Nathan took a deep breath and headed towards the crowd and the music. He glanced at the stage and caught Kyle’s eye and smiled back when Kyle nodded to him. He was glad his old friend had agreed to step in and help.

“Nathan? It’s good to see you!” Jack said walking over arm in arm with Lisa. “I didn’t expect you.”

“Amy invited me yesterday, Lisa, good to see you.”

“Well, you’re certainly welcome, can I get you something, a beer or something to eat?”

“I’m fine Jack, thanks, I was actually looking for Amy.

Jack looked around for a second “come on over, let’s see if anyone’s seen her.” He said walking over to the rest of the family who were now all clustered around the picnic table.

“Nathan, it’s good to see you.” Lou said. “Have you met Peter, my ex, and, current I guess.”

Nathan smiled “I did a while ago but not formally.” He said reaching out to shake Peter’s hand.

“Thanks for the music by the way, they’re great.”

“I’m glad they were free to help Lou, uhm, have you seen Amy?”

“I thought I saw her a few minutes ago but lost track.” She answered. “Lyndy, do you know where your mom is?”

“Nope, hi Nathan, did you bring Molly?”

“I’m sorry Lyndy, she tends to act up in crowds like this.”

“It’s Ok, we can play another time.”

“I’m sure she’d love that.” He said scanning the crowd.

“Nathan, welcome, it’s good to see you, how’s your dad?”

“Thanks Tim, good to see you too and dad’s doing as well as can be expected, any idea where Amy headed off to?”

“I saw her talking to Caleb and Ashley a few minutes ago, she can’t have gone far. Might be easiest to wait here and have her find you.”

“Well, let me make the rounds and if I can’t spot her, we’ll make that plan B.”

“We’ll let her know you’re here and looking if she shows up.”

“Thanks Lisa, that would be great.”

“Nathan, I wanted to say I was sorry for, well…….”

“It’s fine Lou, let’s call it all water under the bridge, besides, something’s come up.”

“Oh?”

Nathan sighed “It can wait, we’ll work it out, it’s not a party thing.”

“Fine with me, we’ll talk soon?”

Nathan nodded thinking that Lou and Gracie would not get along well, definitely something for another day, where hopefully, cooler heads would prevail.

He tipped his hat at the group and wandered into the crowd and then up to the porch where he called into the house for her and got no response. He stood and surveyed the crowd from the porch and watched as Kyle walked around the edge of the makeshift stage and towards the house.

“Hey Nathan, good to see you!!” He said holding out his hand. “I didn’t realize you’d be here, nice crowd.”

“Kyle, thanks for doing this, I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, it’s a gig, exposure, and a paycheck, that’s the business. You here alone?”

“Actually looking for someone; long blonde hair, blue eyes, very good looking, cowboy boots, maybe a hat?”

“Lou’s sister, we met before, uhm, Amy?”

“Amy, yeah, seen her?”

“Last I saw she was heading that way,” he said, “along the pond.”

“Excellent, how long you staying?”

“Playing for at least another hour before we start breaking down.”

“Hopefully I’ll see you before then, I’m going to try to catch up with Amy.”

“Bring her back for a dance bro, now, I’ve got to take a leak and I hate portables.” He said heading into the house after patting Nathan on the shoulder.

He walked to the edge of the lawn and noticed the path that had worn into the ground over the years and followed it. He could see where it veered off to the left further down, around the pond and assumed that’s where she had gone. Soon after he saw the small bridge that apparently spanned a stream that was one of several that were presumably feeding the pond and stopped to gather his thoughts. What would he say and what would her reaction to his words be? He’d only done this once before when he said the words “I love you” to his ex-wife whose reaction was perfect, more than he could have asked for. It took him a second to realize that he had always thought of Tristan as his one and forever and decided that it just wasn’t the case because more than anything, he was sure that his one and forever was Amy.

He saw her through the reeds a few steps later and stopped again just to look at her. He could only see her face partially as she was facing the pond and he was looking at her silhouette and she took his breath away and still; he had no idea what he would say.

He was surprised that his boots walking across the bridge didn’t alert her that someone was coming or for that matter the sound of his coming through the grass and he stopped, not wanting to scare her.

“Not dancing with the others?”

He could see her brief smile at his voice before her answer. “I didn’t want to miss the sunset.”

“Mind if I join you?” He asked and then thinking for a moment that maybe she would just send him away before her head shake which was his invitation.

He walked up next to her and glanced at her for a second and noticed she looked sad, almost on the verge of tears.

“I think we’ve got a problem.” He commented breaking the silence.

He saw her brief smile before she answered, “Just one?”

He smiled at her for a second and then looked out over the pond. “I know we agreed to stay apart, and we had a million good reasons……... that’s not gonna work for me.”

He was now partially facing her and her to him, “Why’s that?” She asked.

He turned to face her dead on at that point and decided to just say it “Because I love you.”

And the world around him stopped momentarily.

Her answer was all he needed “I love you too………so what are we going to do?”

He realized that he was smiling, having lost all sense of reality hearing her say those words and it took him a second to step towards her and leave no doubt of what they were going to do.