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so lonely it hurts

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well fvck me.

#prsnl #i don't know what to say #the last time someone begged me to stay #they're the ones who left #so idk

paper-wounds

via

#quote #i have a reblog blog #but i feel like this belongs here

scensitive

hbd to this mf 🎂

it's wild, isn't it? i'm still here..

another decade survived. it's the start of a new era for me. i pray for better relationships with people and a lot of love to give without it taking too much of a toll on me. i hope to love more than i was able to give before, to make people's lives better, be a better support system. someone that people can feel completely vulnerable, peaceful, and safe with.

i hope i don't get hurt enough that i start wanting to not love anymore. i hope i don't get apathetic. i hope i'll stay considerate and not want revenge despite being hurt so badly. i hope i never lose that flame of being a good influence in people's lives despite how odd i actually am as a person to influence someone. i hope to always choose love and touch people's lives for the better with it.

#prsnl #gpoy #pics were taken before i had a haircut #wd

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writeinspace

i just woke up and saw that my ex has a deleted message in our convo..

writeinspace

she got a new place. i'm very happy for her. still don't know what the deleted message was.

#prsnl #convo

appreciation post for this person.. who never missed greeting me on my birthday ever since the day we met. i honestly don't even know what i did to deserve such fondness.

#prsnl #she's not even directly my friend #she's the little sister of my classmate

what a gloomy day..

#prsnl #i like it #it's the same as what i feel the whole day

Fvcken.. feels so wrong & disturbed trying to finish (watching) the Heartstopper series without the person I started it with. The end movie just came out and I wanted to watch it for a while now but.. I can't. I tried and I felt so... stressed while starting it. Like it's a crime to watch it on my own. It's wild. My skin crawls and I feel so restless about it.

#prsnl #fvck this #probably #ocd shit #now i can't watch it

"I'm sorry"

"You say that a lot"

"I feel it a lot"

#prsnl

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catnippackets

obviously all mental shit is irrational and stupid but adhd paralysis. come on. like “I want to do ten different things at once and I care equally about all of them and therefore can’t decide which one has to be done first so I’ll just sit here and waste all of my energy trying to choose between them until ultimately the day is over and I’ve done nothing and am also no closer to figuring out what to do next than I was at the beginning of the day” are you kidding me

i just woke up and saw that my ex has a deleted message in our convo..

#prsnl #convo #i wonder what it was #prolly just wrong send tho #or she thought it's my bday already?#remembered incorrectly?

ss-writess

“If I tell you I care about you, I’m probably already caring too much.”

#this #bruh #fvck

i'm having strange feelings lately that made me curious about my present self..

#prsnl #quiz

wovi

#quote

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Two weeks ago, I bought something impulsively because I thought of my ex when I saw it. I just believed it was something she would appreciate. (or maybe not, idefk lol). I wasn't thinking properly when I bought it. I grew restless while I had it. Like it shouldn't sit with me at all. It shouldn't even be a thing I should mind. I gave myself something to be bothered about. A moment of weakness. So I got rid of it by attempting to give it to her. Something I swore I would stop doing (which was visiting their place).

I'm still learning how to stop myself when thoughts of my ex come barging in. I hate that I always act (and think) foolishly when it comes to people I loved. I'm like a service dog still hung up on its master, bringing trinkets by the door, waiting to be let in for an ounce of love and affection. The stupid loyalty despite being hurt and abandoned. (All metaphoric, I don't actually feel this way now).

But let's never do that again, self. You forget that you're more fucked up now because of the people that you loved. So fucking stupid.

#prsnl #let's not do that again #self #i will repeat until you get it

i am a switch, whaddya know

#or bipolar #prsnl #convo

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