A Night Among the Dead (and Undead)
Rose did not often join her brother on his assignments, but on the occasion she did, they traveled to places she would not have gone otherwise. Her husband would sometimes join them, as he had nothing better to do, and did not particularly like being away from his wife for long periods of time if he could help it.
Judas, for his part, was a very entertaining tour guide. He often had little tidbits of information that even the most knowledgeable of tour guides didn’t have, and delighted in sharing them with his sister and brother-in-law, and anyone else who asked.
Today, they were walking through an area very familiar to Rose — the streets of Paris and the city’s famous catacombs. Their target was residing in said catacombs, looking for unsuspecting tourists who had signed up to, well, tour the place.
Judas had decided that he and Rose would lead a group, so that they could get closer to the target, and also prevent anyone from becoming victim to a wayward vampire. Rose was less than thrilled, but Judas was having the time of his life.
“…This city is built on their bones.” Judas was saying to the group, and his sister immediately rolled her eyes.
“Will you stop being ominous?” Rose said, giving her brother a disapproving look.
“No, literally. Watch where you step.” Judas said, his demeanor deadly serious.
“Judas, stop that. You’re scaring them.” Rose scolded, giving her brother a reproachful look.
Judas shrugged. “How else should I have put it? The catacombs are right underneath us.”
Rose rolled her eyes again. “There are plenty of ways to say that without being so ominous.”
Judas grinned. “Being ominous is part of the fun.”
“Not to them, it’s not.” Rose said, and gestured to the tourists, who were looking a little unnerved.
Judas merely shrugged and turned to face the entrance of the catacombs. “Shall we continue, everyone?”
It was rhetorical, of course, and the group followed him through the entrance, and down into a dark tunnel. Rose and Vlad brought up the rear, and kept their senses attuned to their surroundings, as there was still a vampire on the loose — which not only posed a threat to the human tourists, but also made for a PR nightmare and subsequent media circus, as Judas had so aptly put it.
The tour went on for another fifty or so minutes, and Judas continued to talk the entire time, while Rose merely added a few comments here and there. She was far more focused on trying to figure out where their target was located.
As they approached the exit, an eerie silence overtook the atmosphere, and Judas grinned almost wickedly. “Hear that?”
“Hear what?” One of the tourists asked, and blinked when Judas pointed his index finger at them.
“Judas, for god’s sake, stop scaring them.” Rose sighed, folding her arms across her chest. “They’ve already spent an hour in this place. That’s enough to keep them on edge for the rest of the evening.”
“My dear Rosie, it’s part of my job to be as unnerving as possible. After all, who wants a light-hearted tour guide when exploring the catacombs?”
“The faint-hearted, and children.”
Judas snorted. “Neither of those should be on a tour like this to begin with.”
“And yet here they are.” Rose said, gesturing to the group with a thin, delicate arm.
“It’s so quiet.” A young child, no older than ten, remarked, and Judas grinned again.
“Yes, it is. I didn’t notice it before.” A woman, who appeared to be the child’s mother, agreed with the sentiment.
“See, that’s when you should be afraid. When it’s all quiet and peaceful like that.” Judas said, his expression now grim and haunting. Barely a minute later, he was back to the jovial, smiling tour guide that the group had come to know over the last hour, and Rose was almost certain all the humans would go back to their housing accommodations with severe emotional whiplash.
After the last tourist had departed, Rose gave her brother the severest look she could muster. Judas, for his part, continued to smile pleasantly. Vlad, who had been silently watching the two siblings the entire evening, finally spoke up. “Rose, don’t forget we have a job to do.”
“I remember.” Rose said shortly, still focused on her brother.
Rose ignored him and jabbed a finger into Judas’ chest. “You could’ve gotten reported for that shit you pulled, dear brother.”
Judas shrugged. “So what? It’s not like I actually work here.”
Rose opened her mouth, but Vlad pulled her away before she could say anything. “Now is hardly the time for bickering.” he said, and Rose scowled. “I’m serious, Rose.”
“When are you not serious?” Rose spoke rhetorically, and Vlad pointedly ignored her.
A shot rang out from behind them, followed by a hiss, and Rose immediately spun around on her heels. A vampire stood clutching its arm, which was now smoking from the impact of a blessed bullet. A sigh came from behind her, and Judas appeared by her side, gun in hand. “Shame on you, Rosie.”
“Yes.” Judas said, and reached for another weapon from his belt. “You didn’t notice it sneak up behind us.”
“I did too!” Rose protested, giving her brother an offended look. “I was just waiting for it to make the first move, so I could strike at the last minute.”
The target seemed just as offended that it was being ignored, and lunged forward, but was thrown back by another shot — this time from a new gun. With a loud snarl, it cradled its other arm against its chest, while Rose adjusted her weapon so that the barrel was now pointed at the creature’s heart. Judas did the same, and the vampire sneered at them. “What can the pair of you do to a creature like me?”
“Would you like us to tell you?” Judas asked, a calm, neutral, calculating expression on his face.
“Or just show you?” Rose asked, a wicked, unhinged, devilish expression on her face.
“Too late.” Vlad spoke from somewhere behind the target, his smooth, low voice startling the creature. The moment the last syllable was spoken, two synchronous shots rang out, and two blessed bullets pierced through the vampire’s heart. Then, came the swing of a sword, and the swish of a rosary, and something similar to a howl echoed throughout the tunnel. A head rolled towards the wall, and Vlad grunted in displeasure as it touched his shoe. “Disgusting.”
“Oh, calm down, you big baby.” Judas said, pulling on black leather gloves and reaching down to pick up the severed head. “It’s not like you haven’t seen dismemberment and decapitation before.”
“That is not what disgusts me, as you well know.”
“No?” Judas smiled as he stuffed the head into a canvas sack.
“No.” Vlad said, and Rose sighed. She knew exactly what was coming.
“These are my good boots, and I do not wish to have them dirtied by filth such as this.”
Judas laughed heartily. “Ah, mon beau-frère, you are such an aristocrat.”
“Yes, I am. I was a prince, after all.”
Rose sunk a stake into the creature’s heart, and then ripped the weapon out with the heart still firmly impaled upon it. “Judas, this body isn’t going to clean itself up.”
“Well, if you know, then get over here and help me with it.“
Judas sighed. “Yes, sister.”
