Harry nodded and pushed the button for his floor, knowing I was right. We hadn't tried to hide our relationship, whatever it was at this point, at all tonight. There was no doubt there was at least one picture of us dancing, and it would be all over the tabloids tomorrow. We didn't need to make matters worse by fucking right next door to my coworkers. The Angels were like a family, but that didn't mean all of the girls were above gossiping about the others. 

We didn't talk on the ride up, both of us anticipating what would happen next. I had to admit that I was really nervous. It's not like I had much experience in this department, and I knew Harry had tons. I just hope I didn't disappoint him.

Harry's hands shook as he pulled out his hey card, causing me to smile. 

"Nervous? "I asked. 

He turned over his shoulder to give me a sheepish smile, “Maybe a little.”

"Why are you nervous? I chuckled, entering his room, "I'm the one with no experience.”

"But I'm the one who has to make sure your first time in five years is good," he answered.

I hummed, unable to come up with anything else to say as Harry crowded into my space. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I in turn wrapped mine around his neck. Pushing up on my toes, a I connected our lips with a soft sigh.

The kiss was slower and softer this time. Neither of us rushed it, choosing instead to enjoy this moment. We were finally together again after so many years apart.

Harry pulled me more firmly against him, but made no move to change the pace of our kiss. It was sweet and intimate, something I knew we both needed after all this time, but I was beginning to get a little impatient. I was still wound up from before, and really just wanted him to fuck me already.

Whining lowly into his mouth to voice my impatience, I pushed up on my toes and put more force into the kiss. Harry smiled against my lips, but didn't give me what I wanted. Instead, he continued to set a slow pace.

Slightly annoyed, I decided this time to do something I knew would always get him riled up without fail. Smirking internally, I tangled my fingers in the hair at the back of his head and tugged sharply. Harry hissed as his head was forced back and his tan neck was exposed to my hungry lips. I wasted no time attacking, littering his skin with kisses and nips.

"Mmmm, angel, Harry moaned "someone's impatient.”

I huffed and released his hair so he could look back down at me, “ Five years, Harry. Five years and you just want to kiss.”

He chuckled darkly, "Who said I just wanted to kiss?"

With that, he grabbed my waist and hoisted me up, forcing the to wrap my legs around him. I squeaked in surprise, but didn't protest as he carried me to the bed. After dropping me onto the bed, Harry quickly covered my body with his. He went straight to my neck, sucking a bruising hicky into the delicate skin.

Harry, I moaned in half protest, no hickies.” 

He shook his head, "Nuh uh, you don't get to make the rules." 

Harry stood up to tower of over me, and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Propping myself onto my elbows, I asked, "Oh you think so?”

“I make the rules now, angel," he smirked down at me.

I pushed myself up fully this time so that I was sitting at the edge of the bed with him between my legs. With innocent eyes looking up at him, I slowly kissed the exposed skin of his chest. Harry moved when my tongue darted out to taste him, distracting him from my hands, which were quickly undoing the rest of his buttons. Before he knew what was happening, I pushed his shirt open and connected my lips with one of his nipples. Harry moaned again, even more breathlessly than before, and I smirked. It may have been five years, but I hadn't forgotten how to make him putty in my hands.

“You sure about that?" I smirked up at him, drawing his attention back to our conversation.

Harry growled, his eyes darkening as he realized what I had done. I had always been good at taking control from him when I wanted to.

Refusing to let me get away with it this time, Harry wrapped his hand around my throat. My eyes widened in surprise but I moaned as he crushed his lips to mine in a searing kiss. As I responded to his kiss, he went to remove his hand from my neck, but my hands flew up to stop him. Much to my surprise, I actually liked it and I didn't want him to stop. 

I whimpered when Harry started to pull away, trying to follow him but being stopped by his hand. He ran his thumb over my throat as he I looked down and searched my eyes for any sign of hesitance or discomfort. When he found none, he slid his hand down, tracing the chain of my dress before pulling away completely. I opened my mouth to protest, but he just shushed me.

"Things have changed," he said, taking my hands and helping me stand. I thought he was going to kiss me, but was proven wrong as he quickly spun me around, pushing my back down so my chest was flat against the bed and causing me to gasp, “and it's time for my little devil to take a backseat and do what Daddy wants.”

I moaned as he unhooked the collar of my dress then preceded to trace his fingers down my bare back to the zipper. Slowly he unzipped my dress, earning himself a view of the black lace thong I had donned for the evening.

“Mmm," Harry hummed as he ran his thumb across the lace and the swell of my ass, "I've never seen you in a thong before. Thought you didn't like them?”

“Grew out of that," I said breathlessly, "Being a model taught me that sometimes they're necessary.”

  He hummed again before snapping the waistband of my parties against my skin.

"Don't rip those,” I moaned, hands fisting the comforter underneath me.

Harry leaned forward to growl in my ear, "Don't worry, I have plenty of money to buy you more.”

I rolled my eyes at his arrogance, but let him get away with it. I knew from experience that arguing about his money got me know where. Besides, the thought of him ripping my panties off of me was hot.

"Let's get this dress off of you,” Harry said, pushing the chain straps of my dress over my shoulders and down my arms.

I slid my arms through and propped myself up so he could slide my dress over my hips. As he slid the material down my legs, he nipped at my cheek. Giggling, I wiggled my ass at him, to which he responded by a slapping it. I gasped at the sting from his rings on my sensitive skin, moaning at the thought that it felt even better than it used to. 

The dip of the bed beside me prompted me to push I myself up and look to see what Harry was doing. When I found him sitting on the edge, shirt hanging open, I frowned. He just motioned for me to stand up.

“Let me take a look at you,” he said. 

My cheeks flushed as I stood. I may have been a lingerie model that put her body on display for a living, but I was nervous to stand before Harry in nothing but a thong and a pair of heels. This was a lot more intimate than a photoshoot or a runway. There was no makeup or lighting to hide anything, everything would be on display.

Harry's eyes roamed over every inch of me as I stood before him, darkening with lust as they did. My skin flushed darker when he bit his lip and told me to turn, obviously appreciating what he saw. I could no longer see him when I turned, but I still wasn't surprised when I felt his hands grip my hips and pull me closer to him. Harry had always find it hard not to touch when my ass was on display. 

He smoothed his hands over my skin, squeezing and humming appreciatively, “What a nice ass. Glad you didn't lose it when you became a model."

I rolled my eyes knowing full well I had tried. Models were supposed to be long and lean, but no matter what I tried, I couldn't loose my hips or the swell of my ass. It had cost me jobs in the past, but I didn't mind because it had also landed me this one. Sometimes being different was exactly what they wanted.

“You did always have a thing for my ass,” I laughed when I felt Harry playfully bite it.

"How could I not?" he growled, spinning me around.

My hands fell to his shoulders to steady myself as I stumbled and laughed. Harry noticed, using his hands on my waist to steady me as well.

"Let's get you out of those heels, hmm?" he said as he ran his hand down my leg and gently lifted my foot into his lap.

I held my breath, watching him carefully undo the straps of my heel and slip it off. It was strangely erotic seeing him take care of me like this, especially when he decided to leave kisses up the inside of my leg before setting it back on the ground.

Harry looked up at me as he finished with my other foot, mischief shining in his eyes, "Better?"

I nodded cautiously. That look always brought trouble.

“Then I guess all that's left is to take these off, "He grinned cheekily, thumbs smoothing over the band of the thong on my hips, “Think I should do it with my teeth?"

I gasped when Harry slid forward, kneeling between me and the bed and forcing me to take a step back to make room for him. His eyes held mine, a stupid cheeky smile on his lips as he waited for my answer.

Clearing my throat, I prepared to tell him yes, but was forced to moan as his lips connected with the skin of my hip, right below the band of my thong. He had decided that he didn't actually need an answer and gripped the delicate lace in his teeth. Slowly, he slid them down my legs, eyes never leaving me. Holding back a moan in an effort to not stroke his ego anymore than I already had, I watched as he finally slipped the stupid thing off me.

With a smug smirk on his stupid, handsome face, Harry stood, black lace dangling from his finger. He opened his mouth, probably to tease me, but before he could say anything, I pushed him back. He was forced to sit on the edge of the bed, and I quickly straddled him. With both hands in his hair, I crashed my lips against his and ground my hips down on his still clothed lap. We both moaned as we felt his hand dick press against me.

Harry didn't let me have control for long. In a flash he flipped me over, tossing me up the bed and covering my body with his

"What did I tell you?" he chided, holding my hips against the bed and preventing me from getting the friction I desperately needed.

I whined and purposefully answered his question wrong, "That you were gonna fuck me good however I wanted."

He shook his head and applied more pressure to my hip as I tried to buck up again, "No, try again.

I rolled my eyes, “That you were in control.”

"That's right, he said, rolling his hips against me, finally giving me some of the friction I desired, “and right now I want to taste that pussy I've I been waiting five years for.”

I moaned at his crude words and arched my back into him. Harry wasted no time, focusing in on my chest with a kiss on my collarbone. Taking a second to show my breasts some attention, he sucked my right nipple into his mouth, his hand pinching and pulling at the other one. I gasped at the attention, hands fisting the sheets beside me as pleasure shot straight to my core.

“Harry," I whined when he switched his focus to my other breast instead of where I wanted him most.

"Patience, angel,” he growled, releasing my nipple with a pop.

He proceeded to place a kiss to my rib, right under my boob, then my stomach, then finally my hip. As his mouth hovered over my core, I moaned at the feeling of his hot breathe spreading over me. He watched as my face scrunched up and my hips bucked in an attempt to get him to touch me

“Please,” I breathed, beyond frustrated with his teasing.

"Ok, ok,” he chuckled, settling lower and spreading my legs with his hands.

Then his tongue was on me, and I was seeing stars. Harry had always been talented with his mouth when he was younger. Thankfully, it was a skill he hadn't lost. It still felt amazing, waves of pleasure crashing through me as he worked.

“Harry,” I moaned as I reached my hands down to tangle my fingers

in his hair.

I gave a soft tug, and Harry moaned. Sitting up slightly, he moved so he could look at me as he slipped a long finger inside. I gasped at the pressure, eyes flying to his. He smirked as he curled the digit up, hitting a spot that had my eyes rolling back into my head.

“You like that?" Harry rasped as he met my eyes. 

"Yes," I mooed moaned, hips bucking, “I want more.

He hummed and slipped in another finger. I mooned as he pumped them in and out, stroking and stretching my walls as he did.

"You're so wet," he breathed, sitting up and hovering over me.

I nodded and leaned up to kiss him, "All for you.”

Harry crashed his lips against mine. The kiss was frantic as I parted against to him. He continued to move his fingers, picking up the pace to match the rolling of my hips.

“Harry,” I moaned, "I need you.”

"You have me, angel,” he panted back, resting his forehead against my neck.

"No," I answered breathlessly as I slipped my hand down his chest to grab at his covered dick, "I need this.”

"Oh you think so?" Harry chuckled. He slipped his fingers from me and sat up back on his heels.

I nodded, watching without breathing as he sucked his fingers into his mouth. His eyes twinkled as he cleared them, and he moaned se he released them with a pop.

"Have you been a good girl?" he asked, pushing up and off the bed.

I sat up, eyes glued to his back as he moved towards the bag on the chair beside us. "You know I have.”

He hummed and slid his shirt off. I took a moment to admire the ten skin of his back and the way his muscles bunched and rolled as he rooted around in his bag. Biting my lip, I thought about how much he had filled out since the last we had been together. Then, he was a boy, but now, he was a man.

Harry turned, and I laughed at the practically full box of condoms in his hand.

“Wow," I chuckled, " you sure were confident we were gonna make up.”

He shrugged and tossed a condom at me, “Well I figured either we'd make up, or I'd drown my sorrows in some other pussy.”

"Harry," I scolded, my skin crawling at the thought of him with someone else. 

"Don't worry,” he chuckled as he stepped up to the edge of the bed, "I'm only

joking.”

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest, "Well your jokes are 1 ruining your chances of getting laid.”

"Aww, angel, let me fix it," he said, leaning forward to capture my lips.

He kissed me firmly and cupped my cheek. As I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss, he slid his hand down to cup my throat. This elicited a low moan from me and reignited the fire at my core.

"There you are,” Harry chuckled as he pushed me back so I was laying again.

I bit my lip and watched him closely when his hands moved to the button of his pants. Slowly, teasingly, he popped it open and slid down the zipper. With a grin he proceeded to slide his pants and underwear down at the same time, and then he stood before me, completely naked. He stood still, allowing me a moment to look at him the way he had looked at me earlier. He was all tan skin, lean and fit thanks to years of hard work. His muscles weren't overly defined but they were still hard and strong. There were more tattoos along his arm and chest than there had ben when we were younger. I found my fingers twitching with the urge to trace the

lines of black on his skin, but held them back. There would be time to explore later. For now, I just wanted him.

“C’mere." I said, holding out my hand and inviting him to me.

Harry took it, climbing onto the bed and laying over me. He didn't waste any time connecting our lips, and slid his hand between our bodies to make sure I was still ready for him.

"I love you," he said as he rubbed me "I always have.”

I sighed, a small smile tugging at my lips. My heart melted at the pure adoration shining in his eyes, and despite everything that had happened, I believed him. It was like no time had passed and we were still teenagers experiencing love for the first time.

Reaching up to card my fingers through his hair I answered, "I love you too."

Harry smiled and pecked my lips before sitting up. He moved to kneel between my parted legs and rolled on a condom. I sighed as he rubbed his dick through my folds, coating it in slick.

"Hurry up,” I urged, bumping him with my knee. He was just sitting there, rubbing through my folds and watching me. I needed him to do something already or I would die.

He chuckled at my impatience but surged forward. We both moaned as he entered me, my walls squeezing him firmly. It's had been a long time since weld last done this, and I think Harry had even gotten bigger. Slowly, Harry kept going, trying not to hurt me, until he was fully seated inside me with his hips flush against mine.

"Fuck, "Harry hissed, stilling inside me, “you're so fucking tight.”

I laughed breathlessly, "Ya, that'll happen.”

He pulled back, pulling a moan from my lips. Harry set a slow pace, knowing that I needed some time to adjust. I could tell by the look on his face that it was taking all of his self control to go slow, so I started to move my hips to let him know that he could go faster. He took the hint and increased his speed with a grunt.

The room filled with the sounds of our pleasure. Being with Harry again after all these years was amazing. I had forgotten just how good he was at making me feel good and was suddenly thankful that I hadn't tried to sleep with anyone else. No one would ever be able to live up to Harry Styles.

I could tell Harry was close from the way his grunts got louder and his thrusts harder. I moaned, reaching for his hand and bringing it to my throat. His eyes snapped to mine as he squeezed lightly, earning another moon. 

"I'm close too,” I panted and rolled my hips against his.

Harry nodded and learned down to plant a sloppy kiss against my lips. He was breathing hard, sweat lining his hairline, just like me. Slipping his I hand between our bodies, he rubbed at my clit in an effort to get me to cum. It worked as the sparks shot through my body and forced my back to arch. 

"Fuck, Harry, I'm cumming,” I moaned, fisting my fingers in his hair and tugging hard.

"Fuck," he cursed, hips stuttering against mine, "me too."

I panted as I came down from my high, wincing when Harry pulled out.

"I'll be right back,” he mumbled, moving out of my line of sight to clean up. 

I just nodded, the events of the day finally catching up to me. I was exhausted, but happy and sated, so I wasn't complaining. Harry came back a moment later, and I felt something warm and wet scrape across my skin, Looking down in confusion, I found him dragging a wet washcloth over my skin.

Noticing my gaze, Harry gave me a soft smile, “I’m just cleaning you up, angel."

Finished, he leaned up to give me a kiss on his my forehead before standing up and disappearing into the bathroom again. He came back a moment later and asked if I wanted a shirt but crawled under the covers when I shook my head no.

"You good?" he asked softly as I settled under the covers beside him.

I nodded and curled into his side,” The best I've been in five years.” 

“Good," Harry placed a kiss against my hair, “You know I love you, right?

I smiled, "Yes, and I love you.”

There was a moment of silence where I almost fell asleep, but it was interrupted by a quiet laugh rumbling through Harry's chest.

"What?" I asked, as I looked up at him.

He shrugged, grinning down at me cheekily, "Oh nothing, but I bet you aren’t so mad I wrote that song now, are you, angel?”

I rolled my eyes and slapped his chest, causing him to laugh louder, "Would you just shut up and go to sleep!"

Harry chuckled, "Alright, alright. C’mere.”

He pulled me further into his side and I snuggled against his chest. Placing a kiss against his collar bone, I bid him goodnight, "Good night, Harry.”

Elsa kept me close to her side for the next hour, insisting on getting some alcohol in me and taking me to see the other girls. Every time I tried to break away, telling her I was supposed to be meeting someone, she protested and demanded that I stayed with her a little longer. Knowing how she could get when she drank and not wanting to upset my best friend out of the girls, I stayed. But time was ticking and I knew Harry had to be wondering where I was, if he was still waiting at all.

Finally Elsa became engrossed in a conversation with some photographer, and I was able to slip away. I knew she wouldn’t miss me so I didn’t feel bad about ditching her, especially since I had Harry waiting for me. 

I moved quickly through the crowd in the house, making my way out to the pool. The view caused me to pause in my search for just a moment, insisting that I take in the lights in the trees and the fields in the valley below. Shaking it off before I could get too sucked in, I searched the crowd for my childhood love.

There was a makeshift dance floor and a DJ booth set up to one side of the pool. A large crowd was dancing, and I briefly wondered how all these people got invited before moving my attention the the couched and chairs around the pool. Some groups were smaller than others, and there were even some people in the pool, but I couldn’t find Harry anywhere.

Sighing, I moved closer to the dance floor, hoping that he was over there. After a few moments of scanning the crowd, I was about ready to give up when I spotted his soft brown curls.

I realized that the reason I hadn’t been able to see him before was because he was laying down on one of the couches that had its back to me. Now, I saw that his head was on the lap of one of his band members, the woman who had played the drums. In fact he was surrounded by women, models to be precise. I rolled my eyes at how the young women leaned forward and ogled him as he spoke. Harry just basked in the attention, the exact same attention whore he had been since we were younger.

As Harry laughed, pushing himself up and out of his bandmate’s lap, I considered turning around, going back to Elsa, and getting black-out drunk. Harry was the same as he’d always been. He had always loved attention, especially the attention of pretty women, and right now, he had the attention of a lot of pretty women. I honestly didn’t know how I could compete with that, and I was jealous. I was now willing to admit that I was jealous of the attention he gave those women because I still loved him, and because of that, I didn’t want to be sober anymore.

Just as I was about to turn around and go drown myself in a bottle of vodka, Harry caught site of me. His entire face lit up, granting me with a large, genuinely happy smile and a view of his dimples. Looking away only briefly, he made a quick excuse to his group and in turn earned a knowing smile from his bandmate. Then he was pushing himself up and practically bounding over to me.

I couldn’t help but laugh, my heart melting at his enthusiasm. He was like a big puppy, so happy to see his person after a long day away. I realized that I was that person he was so excited to see, but refused to think about what that meant.

“Angel, you finally made it!” Harry called over the music, engulfing me in a giant hug as soon as he reached me.

“Hey, Harry,” I laughed, hugging him back.

I could feel the eyes of the models Harry had just left watching us as we stayed connected a few seconds longer than appropriate, but I didn’t care. Harry’s hugs had always been my favorite. He held you so close and secure, you just couldn’t help but feel safe. His hug brought out all of the feelings I was never good at hiding and didn’t want to deny anymore.

All too soon Harry squeezed me tighter then released me, pulling back to look me over. He whistled lowly and appreciatively at what he saw.

“Damn,” he swore, biting his lip, “you look gorgeous.”

I blushed a little but smiled. Alessandra and Elsa had helped me pick this dress months ago when I was first told I’d be walking as an official Angel, wings and all. I was worried that it was too much, but they both insisted that I looked amazing and this was the perfect place to wear it. Now, seeing Harry’s face, I was glad I did.

The dress was essentially simple, all tight black material clinging to my curves and stopping mid thigh. The stunning part was the neckline. A black collar twisted around my neck then parted at my chest, remaining open in a deep V that stopped just above my belly button. A harness shaped chain of crystals held the two sides closed and wrapped around my shoulders to drape delicately down the open back. At first I was self-conscious about putting so much skin on display, but considering I had just walked a globally broadcasted fashion show in nothing but lingerie and heels, I decided it really didn’t matter.

“Thank you,” I answered, giving Harry the same inspection he gave me, “You look pretty good yourself.”

He took a step back and did a little spin so I could see his outfit fully, making me laugh. He was wearing fitted black jeans and an open black suit jacket. Underneath was a loose fitting sky blue shirt with little white flower-like symbols on it. The shirt was halfway unbuttoned, leaving his smooth skin and a simple silver cross on display. When he moved, the swallows on his chest played peek-a-boo through the opening. His short hair sat as messy chocolate curls, a perfectly styled mess. All in all, he looked every bit the heart throb we both knew he truly was.

“Thanks, angel,” he grinned.

“Of course, but that sure is a lot of skin on display tonight, Mr. Styles,” I teased, trigging on the lapel of his jacket.

Harry laughed, dimples on full display, “You’re one to talk. Aren’t you afraid you’ll get cold wearing this dress in December?”

I shrugged, a coy smile tugging at the corners of my lips, “No. I figured if I got cold it’d be easy enough to find a man willing to lend me his jacket.”

“You’re not wrong there, love,” He said, glancing around, “you’ve already got them all starin’.”

I rolled my eyes internally, knowing full well that this wasn’t even the most revealing outfit here. It was obvious to me that Harry was jealous, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me kind of giddy. Seeing Harry again and resolving our past was bringing up feelings I’d been burying since I saw pictures of him and Taylor Swift for the first time. I had missed him and all the fun we’d had together. I was scared to admit it, but I hoped that the way he was acting, his choice to release that song, meant that he missed me too. Most of all, I hoped he wanted me back too.

Deciding that teasing Harry was fun, and that I wanted to see more of his jealous side, I looked around, “Really, you think so? ‘Cause I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time, and I wouldn’t mind finding a cute one.”

“Well I might know of a pretty cute guy who’s been looking for an Angel,” Harry hummed, pulling me against his chest.

“Ya?” I grinned as I placed my hands on his shoulders.

He nodded, “Ya, and right now he’d like to ask that Angel to dance.”

“I don’t know,” I teased, “if it’s who I think it is, this Angel might not want to dance with him.”

“And why the hell not?” Harry asked, pulling away in mock offense.

I grinned at him, disconnecting myself and preparing to run, “Because if I remember correctly, he’s not a very good dancer, and I have a reputation to uphold.”

He growled and lunged after me, but I just laughed and took off running toward the house the best I could in six inch heels. Harry caught me in no time, picking me up from behind and spinning me around. I squealed and giggled, drawing attention to us but not caring. Harry growled again, nipping at my ear as he carried me toward the dance floor. I laughed again, stilling in his arms so he didn’t accidentally drip me as he walked. 

“We’ll see about me being a bad dancer,” Harry growled, placing me down on the edge of the dance floor and spinning me around to face him.

I chuckled as I stumbled against him, “Whatever you say Mr. Styles.”

Turning back around, I pressed my back against him front. I took a second to listen to the music, letting the heavy bass take root in my heart, before I started moving against him. The music guided my hips, prompting me to roll and dip with the beats. Harry stood behind me, stunned for a few moments, but quickly recovered and placed his hands on my hips. Matching the movement of his hips to mine, he danced with me. With a smile on my face, I slid my hand up to tangle my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He pulled me closer and buried his face in my neck, pressing a kiss there. I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling of Harry dancing against me. 

It had been a long time since I had danced with Harry. The last time was when I was 17, the same night we slept together for the first time. He had rented out the club with his bandmates and thrown a party. I tagged along with my brother, hoping to blow off some steam after a hard week, but never expecting that my crush would tell me he liked me back. I wore some skimpy shorts and a top, typical club attire, and Harry was pissed. He didn’t like all of the male attention I was getting, especially since a lot of it was coming from his bandmates. So when I moved to the dance floor and started dancing, he followed me. 

That night Harry was quick to press against me, immediately matching my moves and whispering in my ear that I was asking for trouble. I just turned around and asked him how I could get into trouble with him always around to protect me. After that we danced for hours, and at the end of the night he kissed me and told me he’d been waiting to do that for years. I went home with him for the first time after that, and even knowing everything that happened after, I’d do it again in a heart beat. 

“So,” Harry spoke up, pulling at my side to get me to turn around to face him, “still think I’m a bad dancer?”

I smiled up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck, “No, I never did. I was just teasing you.”

“Of course you were,” he huffed, pulling me even closer, “You always were a tease.”

I shrugged, “Your reactions are funny.”

“Hmmm, you think so, angel?” Harry hummed, leaning down to press his forehead against mine.

The music changed, playing the first slower song I’d heard since arriving. I didn’t recognize it, but it was obvious that Harry did because he smiled down at me. I realized why a few moments later when his voice drifted through the air. Rolling my eyes at his obvious pleasure over them playing his song, I allowed him to sway us to the beat. We danced in silence, simply enjoying each other’s company. I laid my head on Harry’s chest and listened to the words of his song. It was soft and sad, but still good. I began to realize that I had been missing out by not listening to his album before.

“What’s the song about?” I asked, propping my chin on Harry’s chest to look up at him.

“This one?” he asked as he looked down at me.

I rolled my eyes but smiled at him, “What other song would I be talking about?”

He shrugged and returned my smile, “I don’t know what goes on in your crazy mind.”

I rolled my eyes again and nudged him, “So what’s it about?”

“Just drifting apart from an old girlfriend,: he answered with a sheepish smile.

I frowned, beginning to get suspicious of his avoidance of the question. Why didn’t he want me to know who it was about?

“Which one?” I asked, pulling back to look at him better.

Harry averted his eyes but answered, “Taylor.”

I made a face, old feelings of jealousy and resentment rising to the surface. I loved Taylor Swift’s music, and I thought she was an amazing person, but thinking about Harry’s relationship with her still upset me. She was, after all, the woman I thought he left me for. She was definitely a sore subject. Clearing my throat, I untangled myself from his arms and moved off the dance floor. 

“Angel? Where are you going?” Harry asked, following close behind me.

“I don’t feel like dancing anymore,” I answered as I made my way to the back door, “I’d rather get a drink.”

He frowned, “I’m sorry, but I wan’t going to lie to you.”

Turning back over my shoulder, I shot him a small smile, “I know, Harry. It’s ok, I just need a drink.”

“Well, then let me get my angel a drink,” Harry said, taking my hand and moving in front to lead me to the kitchen.

After weaving through the crowd in the interior of the house, we made it to the kitchen. Harry didn’t ask what I wanted, but went ahead and made me a Malibu and Sprite.

“You remembered,” I laughed as I took the cup from his outstretched hand.

“Of course,” he said, leaning on the counter beside me, “It was the only thing that didn’t make you gag.”

I shrugged, no longer ashamed by my intolerance for the taste of alcohol, “It’s not my fault alcohol tastes so bad.”

Harry chuckled and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a call of my name from behind us. We turned to find one of my fellow Angels in the doorway, a large smile on her pretty face.

“Hey Romee,” I said, turning my body to face her more fully, “what’s up?”

She held her empty cup as she moved further into the kitchen, “Just needed a refill.”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything as I watched her mix a drink. Romee was a relatively new Angel too, having been added just two years before me, but we weren’t close. Ever since I had been announced as the newest Angel she had been cordial, but somewhat cold. I had tried to show her that I wasn’t there to replace her, but it didn’t matter, we would never be friends.

“So,” Romee said after taking a sip of her freshly made drink, “are you going to introduce me to your friend?”

I fought the urge to role my eyes, unsurprised by her request. It was no secret that I grew up with Harry, and it would be obvious to anyone who had seen us together tonight that we were close. It was also obvious that Harry was a very handsome, very eligible young man, so of course Romee wanted the chance to properly flirt with him.

“Harry, this is Romee Strijd,” I said, “and Romee, this is Harry Styles.”

Romee smiled as she extended her hand out to Harry, “It’s nice to meet you, Harry.”

“You too, love,” Harry answered, giving her a charming smile as he bowed slightly to kiss her hand.

She giggled and twirled a strand of hair around her finger, “Wow, what a gentleman. Where have you been all night?”

This time I did roll my eyes, taking a giant swig of my drink as Harry answered, “Oh you know, just looking for an angel.”

Romee smirked, taking a step forward so she could rest her hand on his chest, “Well lucky you, you found one.”

Jealousy reared its ugly head in my chest, flooding my body with heat and urging me to grab that bitch by the hair and haul her away from my man. But then Harry shot me a look over her shoulder that calmed me down. His eyes were playful, telling me that he knew what she was doing, and he wouldn’t fall for it.

“You’re right,” Harry said, smiling and stepping around her so he could wrap an arm around my shoulder, “and she’s right here.”

A smug smile slipped onto my features as Harry pressed a kiss to the side of my head, and Romee’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. She definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“I see,” Romee said, her features relaxing into an obviously fake smile, “you’ve stumbled across the newest addition to our ranks.”

“I wouldn’t say stumbled, more like finally found what I’ve been searching for,” Harry answered without taking his eyes off of me.

I smiled up at him and laughed when Romee just huffed and walked away.

Harry made a face at me, “Oops, did I just get you in trouble?”

I shrugged and turned so that I could wrap both hands around his waste, “I don’t care. The look on her face was worth it.”

He chuckled, leaning down to bump his nose against mine, “It was pretty great, wasn’t it?”

I scrunched my nose up and nodded. It was great to see him chose me over Romee. It was even better to hear that he had been searching for me. He may have thought I’d given up on him, but he hadn’t given up on me.

“So,” I started, my tone teasing, “you’ve been searching for me?”

Harry blushed but didn’t deny it, instead closing to tuck a piece of hair that had fallen from its place back behind my ear.

When he didn’t answer, I chose to keep teasing him, “So what is it about me exactly that you’ve missed enough to search for me?”

He rolled his eyes, “Definitely not how much you love teasing me.”

“Hey!” I protested, smacking his chest with my hand, “You like it when I tease. It means I’m giving you attention.”

“I guess that is true,” he conceded with a smile.

“You still haven’t answered.”

Harry sighed and looked up at the ceiling, “Well, let’s see. Your smile…” He paused to trace my lips with his thumb, “your laugh…” This time he tickled my sides, causing me to giggle, “your voice…” He paused again, a smirk tugging at his lips, distracting me from the path his hands were taking, “your ass.”

With that he smacked my ass causing me to screech out his name. He just laughed, letting me slip out of his arms as I pushed away.

“Harry Styles,” I said, hands on my hips and a stern expression on my face, “just what do you think you’re doing?”

He shrugged, still smirking as he took a step toward me, “Just answering your question, angel.”

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, “I was giving you the opportunity to be sweet but you ruined it.”

“C’m on angel, you know I’m just a dirty boy at heart,” he said innocently, still advancing toward me, “I can’t help it.”

Rolling my eyes, I took a step back, trying to keep distance between us. I knew from experience that we were treading in dangerous waters, and keeping our distance was probably the best option. Unfortunately for me, the kitchen didn’t agree, and the next time Harry took a step forward, my back made contact with the other counter.

“Shit,” I breathed as Harry crowded into my space, securing his hands on the counter on either side of me.

“You’re mine now,” he growled playfully, face only a hair’s width away from mine.

“Oh ya?” I asked, my eyes glued to his lips, “and what are you going to do with me?”

“‘m gonna kiss you,” he breathed.

He waited only a second to make sure I wasn’t going to protest before closing the distance between us. Our lips crashed together, each of us pouring years of pent up emotions into the kiss. Without missing a beat, I opened my mouth for him as I ran my hands up his chest to tangle my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. Harry moaned lowly when I gave a sharp tug, chasing me to grin into the kiss. This only spurred him on more, as he pushed himself against me harder and deepened the kiss.

I moaned when Harry bit my lip, and he responded by grabbing my hips and lifting me onto the counter. My legs parted for him naturally as he slotted himself between them. Now that I could feel his hardening member pressed up against me, I couldn’t stop my hands from wandering down. Panting against Harry’s lips, I stroked his clothed member once before gripping it tightly. He moaned again, this time louder than before, stoking the fire inside me. Matching his moan with a small whimper of my own, my hands scrambled for the button of his pants.

“Angel,” Harry moaned, his voice sounding pained.

“Harry,” I answered back with determination as my fingers finally managed to pop open his button.

“Angel, wait,” he said more forcefully this time, covering my hands with his own and stopping me from unzipping his zipper.”

“Why?” I whine, still trying to accomplish my goal.

Harry chuckled lowly but didn’t move his hands, “Angel, we can’t do this here.”

Frowning, I looked up at him with pouty eyes, “Why not?”

“Y/N,” he raised a brow and took a step back, “I really don’t think you want to risk someone walking in on us.”

With that minuscule distance, the lustful haze lifted from my mind just enough for me to remember where we were. My eyes widened comically and I cursed, causing Harry to laugh.

“That’s what I thought,” he chuckled, buttoning his pants.

“I can’t believe I almost fucked you in the kitchen of a house where there are at least a hundred people partying,” I blinked, still a little dazed from that kiss.

“Me neither,” Harry said, clearly amused as he helped me down from the counter and covered me while I fixed my dress, “I would never expect such deviant behavior from my angel.”

I rolled my eyes and slapped his chest, now fully back to reality, “Shut up! It’s not my fault I got carried away. I haven’t been fucked in five years.”

“Wait, what?” Harry stopped, eyes wide at my admission, “You haven’t had sex in five years?”

I blushed, but nodded, “Not since the last time with you.”

“Why not?”

I blushed even harder, “No one ever came close enough to you to catch my attention.”

“Is that right?” Harry asked with a smug expression, gathering me back into his arms.

I rolled my eyes, “Well that and the fact that I was always too busy to really look.”

“Well it sounds like you, my angel, are in need of a good fucking.”

I scrunched up my nose at his crude way of putting it, but didn’t bother denying it. Instead I said, “Think you could help me out with that?”

And just like that, my anger was back full force. I shoved past him with an eye roll, “Don’t start that ‘angel’ shit with me, Styles, it’ll only piss me off more.”

“But you are an Angel,” he said, stepping back inside and closing the door, “my Angel.”

“I am not your angel,” I snapped as I rounded on him, arms crossed, “and I can’t believe you played that fucking song!”

He rolled his eyes, “You can’t expect me to have a song called ‘Only Angel’ and not play it at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.”

“You shouldn’t even have that song!” I said, the volume of my voice beginning to elevate, “What made you think releasing that would be in any way ok?”

He shrugged, “It’s a good song and I like the memories.”

“You like the memories?” I scoffed, “Wow. Of course you’d like the memories of the single biggest mistake of my life.”

“I think that’s a little harsh, angel,” he rolled his eyes.

“A little harsh?” I shouted, “Do you not remember what happened after we fucked, Harry?”

“Of course I remember,” he said defensively, “I went away on tour and you decided you couldn’t handle a relationship like that and you left me.”

I could barely restrain my anger at his total misconstrual of the past. He was lying to me and himself if that’s what he thought had happened.

“No, Harry,” I said, my voice deadly calm, “What fucking happened is my mom found your nudes on my phone and took it away. Then we found out I was pregnant and she beat me half to death before deciding to send me to a boarding school. She paid for shit but she never talked to me again. And the whole time my brother stood by, too pissed to talk to me because I tried to steal his best friend.”

“What?” he breathed, his face completely deflated.

I chuckled darkly, “Yep, and then by the time I got my phone back two months later, you were in the tabloids all over Taylor Swift and I realized you never loved me. Then you got back from tour and were buddy-buddy with my brother like nothing ever happened.”

Harry blinked but his voice was only a whisper when he spoke, “He told me that you chose boarding school and that you didn’t want to see me or for them to talk about you with me. I have a child?”

“No. Don’t you think if I had a child you would’ve seen it on the Internet?” I rolled my eyes, “I miscarried after Mom beat me.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he said, genuine pain and sorrow in his eyes when they met mine, “I had no idea.”

I shrugged, wiping my eyes to rid them of the tears that had welled up, “It doesn’t matter. You never loved me anyway, so it’s not like things would’ve been any different if you had known.”

Harry shook his head and moved towards me, stopping when he was close enough he could’ve touched me.

“That’s not fucking true,” he growled, “I did love you, I still do, and I would’ve helped you.”

I scoffed, “Sure, that’s why you moved on so fast.”

“I was trying to get over you,” he said firmly, “I thought you didn’t love me.”

“It doesn’t matter who loved who anymore,” I said, shaking my head, “You should’ve never released that song, and you definitely shouldn’t have blindsided me with it on the most important night of my life.”

He frowned, “I’m sorry. I thought it would get you back, and I’d figured you’d heard it before.”

“Why would I have heard it, even if things had happened the way you thought?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I guess I just hoped you followed what I did the way I follow everything you do.”

I looked away, not knowing what to do with that information. Why would he care about what I did? I was just some girl he had a fling with. He never really cared that much about me.

“Hey,” Harry called, waiting till my eyes met his to continue, “I’m sorry I released the song. And I’m so sorry I didn’t dig more to find out what really happened. I should’ve been there for you.”

Just like that, all of my anger and contempt for Harry Styles was gone. I couldn’t blame him for abandoning me or trying to hurt me with that song because he didn’t. He didn’t know what was happening at home. My brother lied to him, and I never reached out to him. Nothing that happened to me was his fault, and I was so tired of holding on to all of it. So I just let it go.

Harry must’ve seen on my face that I was about to break because he rushed to wrap his arms around me, pulling me tight against his chest. I couldn’t stop myself from crying as I unloaded all of the animosity towards him that I’d been clinging to for years. I had always hated him for not being there for me, but now, knowing that he had no idea what was happening, I wasn’t angry anymore. He was still the good man I fell in love with all those years ago, not the monster I had convinced myself he was. 

I cried for longer than I would’ve liked, my tears quickly soaking through Harry’s white shirt. He just held me the whole time, slowly putting back together some of my broken pieces. Arms secure around me, he didn’t say anything until my sobs were just sniffles and I was pulling back from his chest.

“Thank you,” I sniffled, cringing when I noticed the wet spot on his shirt, “Sorry about that.”

He just chuckled and rubbed his ring clad fingers soothingly along my back, “It’s not a problem angel, I’ll do anything for you.”

I rolled my eyes at the ever present pet name, “Still not your angle.”

“You’ll always be my angel,” he said seriously.

Deciding to lighten the mood, I pulled out of his arms and raised my eyebrows at him, “Too bad I’m Victoria’s Angel now.”

“Oh you think so,” Harry laughed, reaching out to tickle my sides like he used to, “always the smart ass.”

I laughed and squirmed away from him, but he was on me again in a second. Harry tickled me relentlessly, not letting up until there were happy tears in my lungs and no air in my lungs.

“Ok, ok!” I laughed, finally pushing his hands away, “You win.”

“I always win,” he stated smugly.

Rolling my eyes, I bent down to retrieve my purse from where it had fallen on the floor. I could feel Harry’s eyes on my ass but chose not to say anything when I realized it was something I had missed. With a light chuckle, I pulled my phone out of my purse and nearly had a heart attack when I saw the time.

“Shit,” I cursed, shoving my phone in my jeans pocket.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked.

“I’m supposed to be at the party in five minutes but I’m not anywhere near ready,” I said as I frantically looked around to make sure nothing had fallen out of my purse.

“I don’t know love, you look like an Angel to me.”

I paused to fix Harry with an unamused stare, but he just burst out laughing. After a second of him trying to calm down and me just staring at him, he began ushering me out the door, “Ok, ok, I get it. Go get ready for your party.”

Before he could get me out the door, I turned to look at him, “You’re coming to the party too, right?”

He smiled softly and nodded, “Of course, I’ll meet you there.”

I nodded and turned to leave, “Good, ‘cause I’ll be looking for you.”

Harry’s song filtered through the air and Romee started her walk. I closed my eyes as I waited my turn, allowing the smooth voice of my brother’s best friend to fill me. Despite everything that had happened, it still relaxed me, and by the time it was my turn to walk, my nerves were all but gone again.

“Couldn’t take you home to mother in a skirt that short,” Harry sang as I stepped forward.

I smiled as I remembered a time when he had told me something similar. I was fifteen at the time and wearing a mini skirt for the first time. Harry, who was a few years older than me, had whistled and told me both our mothers would kill me if they saw me. With an eye roll I had told him to fuck off, which earned me another smart-mouthed comment. Five minutes later my mom saw me and yelled at me to go change. Harry teased me about it for weeks.

Seconds later and I was stepping onto the runway, a large smile on my face. Harry’s back was to me as I walked forward, but it wouldn’t be long before he caught site of me. A small part of me admitted that I was excited to see his face when he saw me walk the runway for the first time.

I was at the end of the runway, just finishing my pose and preparing to turn back, when Harry sang the line that made everything about this song click into place.

“Told it to her brother and she told it to me, that she’s gonna be an Angel just you wait and see,” Harry sang, causing me to almost stumble.

My eyes snapped to him, barely concealed horror on my face as I realized that this song was about me. He had written a song about me, of all people.

Then he smirked, holding my eyes and forcing my heart into overdrive as he sang, “When it turns out she’s a devil in between the sheets and there’s nothing she can do about it.”

It took every ounce of my willpower to not drop my smile or blush or stumble. I wished the ground would open up and swallow me because I knew that even though the world didn’t know he was singing about me, both our families did. Unfortunately though, I had to finish my walk with enthusiasm and a smile, all under Harry’s amused gaze.

As soon as i stepped backstage, my smile dropped and my hands began to shake. I made my way to get changed into my final outfit, but I could barely breathe. He had taken the simultaneously best and worst event of my life, written a song about it, and shared it with the world. I knew, even then, that that’s what he did, he wrote songs, but I never thought he’d let the world hear a song about that. To make matters worse, he chose to sing it at the fashion show I had been working toward my whole life. He knew how important this was to me and what seeing him, let alone hearing that song, would do to me. He had ruined this fashion show for me, and had nearly ruined my career, and I was pissed.

I embraced my anger, using it to help me pull myself back together. By the time I was stepping back onto the runway, it was like nothing had happened. Harry was singing the first verse of his song again, but I refused to be swept up in any memories. This time I walked stronger, still with a smile but no longer as playful as I had been before. And this time when I turned at the end of the runway and let my eyes meet his, all that there was for Harry to see was rage.

He didn’t falter as I had hoped, he was too good for that, but he sang the next line with a softer look in his eyes.

“My only angel, woo ooh-ooh,” he sang, his eyes pleading.

Smiling a smile I knew he would notice was fake, I blew him a kiss. harry placed his hand against his heart with a smile that was more genuine than mine and continued singing. Focusing my eyes forward again, I finished my walk. I knew that no one would catch the undertones of the exchange. To them it looked like childhood friends having fun with each other on stage, but to us it was very different. Harry knew me well enough to see the hostility of the action and how angry I was at having my hurtful past forced into the open like that; and I knew him well enough to see the apology in his eyes and the acknowledgement that our pass hurt him too. We were always really good at reading each other, I just didn’t care about his pain anymore. Not after what he did to me then, and especially not after what he just did to me now.

I didn’t have any time to rest before we were lining up for the final walk. Harry stepped off the runway and the first model stepped on. I could feel Harry’s eyes on me but refused to look at him, instead focusing on Martha’s wings in front of me. He would hear from me, but not till after my job was done.

The final walk was exciting, everyone on stage together, confetti falling from the ceiling. But like everything else, it was over all too fast, and we were popping champagne backstage to celebrate. Not in the mood, I made my way back to my rack to get changed into my street clothes. 

“Y/N!” Elsa called just as I was slipping my t-shirt on, “You’re coming to the after part right?”

I grinned, “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Yay!” she squealed, giving me a hug then running off to get changed.

I chuckled at her energy, allowing myself to revel in the moment. I had just walked in a Victoria’s Secret fashion Show, as an official Angel, and now I would go to an official after party. Chuckling again, I thought about Harry’s song and how perfect it really was for the show. I told him I would make it, and I finally did. But I was still going to kill him for releasing that song.

Pulling my phone out of my purse that was sitting next to the rack, I searched for Harry’s contact. It had changed a lot over the years, but he always sent me the new one, and for reasons I wasn’t going to admit, I always saved it. Quickly finding it, my thumb hovered over the “message” option, stopped by his contact picture.

It was the same picture it had always been, from long ago when things were happy. Harry was standing with his arms around me, holding me tight against his chest. He was pressing a sloppy kiss to my forehead, and I was making a face at the camera, but it was obvious that I enjoyed it. We were both happy, and our happiness was shining from us like a light. It was after we had realized how we felt, but before everything went wrong.

Sighing, I pushed back the emotions bubbling up at the sight of the picture and clicked on the “message” option. I typed out a quick message and hit send before I could second guess myself.

‘Are you coming to the after party’

Within seconds the little typing bubble popped up. I held my breathe as I waited a few seconds for his reply.

‘Do you want me to?’

I rolled my eyes and contemplated just ignoring him. Of course I didn’t want him to go, but I also wanted the chance to yell at him for that song. Deciding to let him sit and stew for a bit, I gathered up my things instead of replying.

Once I had my purse, shoes, and jacket on, I pulled my phone back out. I decided on, ‘We need to talk’ so I didn’t have to actually answer his question. He replied almost instantly.

‘Is the party really the best place to talk?’

‘Yes, there will be too many witnesses for me to kill you.’

I smiled to myself, pleased with my answer.

‘Lol. Really, angel? You, kill me?’

I huffed, annoyed at his use of the nickname he had given me years ago when I insisted I’d be an Angel one day. When I was younger it was cute, but after the first night we… it wasn’t cute anymore. 

‘Yes. Are you coming or not?’

I waited about a minute for a response, but when I didn’t get one, I decided to head to my hotel room. I still had to get ready for the party after all.

My phone dinged just as I got into a cab. I told the driver the name of the hotel we had been put up in, then took out my phone.

‘Yes, I’m coming. But this would probably be better in private. Come to my hotel room. 839 at the Park Hyatt.’

I laughed and rolled my eyes. Of course he was staying at the same hotel as us. But, he was right. There would be a lot of cameras and people at the party, and this wouldn’t exactly be a casual conversation. I would probably yell, and he would probably try to remind me of the happy times, and I didn’t really want anyone to hear that. Not only would it end up all over the Internet, but the girls and I weren’t exactly close. They don’t need to know about my past.

Huffing, I typed out a reply just as the cab pulled up to the hotel.

‘Fine. I’ll be there in 5.’

I paid the cabbie and thanked him for the ride, then slid out. Summoning my anger back to the forefront of my mind, I stormed through the lobby. Before I could get onto the elevator, however, I heard someone call my name from behind. 

Turning, I saw Alessandra making her way toward me with concern on her face.

“Hey Ali,” I sighed, “what’s up?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re ok. You haven’t really talked to any of us since the show started,” she said softly.

“I’m fine, I promise,” I smiled softly, appreciating her concern, “I just have something I need to do before the party.”

“Ok,” she said cautiously, not convinced that I was actually fine, “But promise to call me if you need anything.”

My smile widened, knowing she really meant it, “Ok mom, I will.”

Alessandra laughed, pushing my shoulder and telling me bye as she walked away. I smiled after her. She really was like a mom, and I was honestly glad that I had her here with me. Especially since I didn’t exactly have my family anymore.

Sighing, I hit the button for the elevator. I tapped my foot as I waited, my nerves bubbling up full force. I was pissed, but I was also nervous. I hadn’t been alone with Harry in five years, and the last time I was, I made the mistake that cost me my entire family. He was so charming, and so good at getting me to forget why I was mad. But I couldn’t let myself forget, not this time.  This time was too important, and he had ruined my life too many times already.

It didn’t take long for word to travel that Harry was a touchy subject for me. Most of the girls knew me well enough to know to avoid touchy subjects like the plague, so I didn’t have to talk about him anymore. Unfortunately, it was hard to avoid his arrival ten minutes later.

As soon as he stepped foot backstage, all of the younger girls flocked to him. I watched as Harry smiles, basking in the attention like a cat in the sun, but moved further away and behind a rack of clothes so he wouldn’t see me.

“Hiding are we?” a voice sounded from behind me, causing me to jump slightly.

Eyes landing on Alessandra, I let out a breath, “Ya, maybe something like that.”

She smiled softly, but didn’t say anything, chasing instead to stand and watch with me. I appreciated that she didn’t push, but I knew she wouldn’t. Alessandra was a mentor to all the Angels, but she had taken a particular liking to me since I arrived. She was like a cross between an older sister and a mom, always looking out for me and making sure I was ok with whatever was going on. Being a young lingerie model was hard, and I was glad to have the support of one who had been in the industry for most of her life.

“Ladies! Ladies! Quiet please!” Olivier, the director of this year’s show yelled from the middle of the room.

Everyone quickly quieted down, gathering around to see and hear what he had to say. Alessandra and I moved closer too, knowing that it was time to get down to business. 

“Ok, so I need the official Angels in their robes and at Backdrop 1 to take a picture with Harry,” he said, glancing down at his clipboard briefly, “and I need final makeup and hair on everyone else. Get ready people!”

I sighed, turning to glance at Alessandra, “Time to work.”

She laughed at my sullen tone, knocking her shoulder against mine, “Cheer up girl! You’re an Angel, get excited.”

Smiling softly, I looped my arm with hers, “Ya, I guess I am.”

Together we quickly made our way to the specified backdrop where we would pose with Harry Styles, just as we had with the other performers yesterday before dress rehearsal.

“Alessandra! There you are!” Daisy, the show’s social media manager, said when she saw us, calling everyone’s attention to us since we were the last to arrive.

His eyes found me in a second, and the sight visibly stole the breath from his lungs. A thousand emotions flickered across his face in a second. In the same second, his muscles tensed as he prepared to move towards me. Before he could, however, I looked away, choosing to focus on Daisy instead.

“Where do you want me?” Alessandra asked, giving my arm a squeeze before she stepped toward the group. 

“Right next to Harry,” Daisy answered, “and I want our newest Angel on the other side.”

My heart stopped, “What? I thought I would be in the back?”

I could hear a few other girls huffing as Daisy shook her head, “No, sweetie. We think for this one, since you have a past connection to Mr. Styles, you should be by him.”

“Great,” I breathed, trying not to look how I felt as I forced my body to move toward him.

Harry’s eyes followed me as I walked to my place by his side. With my eyes downcast, I slid between him and Martha. My stomach fluttered and rolled as I pressed my side against his and wrapped my arm around his back.

“Hey, angel,” he breathed against my hair as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pressed a quick kiss against my head.

“Hi, Harry,” I said back, my voice devoid of emotion.

He didn’t get a chance to say anything else, thank God, as Alessandra pressed against his other side. Her hand found mine behind Harry’s back, and she squeezed it firmly. Taking a deep breath, I wrapped my other arm around Martha. I forced myself to focus on the girls around me and their excitement, allowing it to seep into me. I was finally an Angel, and I wouldn’t allow this man to ruin it for me.

“Alright, Angels,” the photographer called for our attention, “give me a smile.”

“Ya, girls,” Harry spoke up with a cheeky grin, “it’s not everyday you get a picture with a famous person.”

Everyone laughed with a big smile, and I forced myself to join in. The photographer snapped a few pictures, all of us changing poses slightly for each one. On the final picture, I decided to give them something I knew the fans would love. While the other girls blew kisses at the camera, our signature final pose, I pushed up on the tips of my toes to press a kiss to Harry’s cheek.

I knew Harry’s face was one of shock because Daisy died laughing. She quickly dismissed is, telling us how long before show time. I scurried off before Harry could catch me. He would definitely have a lot to say about that kiss, but I refused to talk to him until after the show. This was the biggest day of my life, and Harry Styles had already messed it up enough. 

Thirty minutes later, I was strapped into my wings and the show was starting. The first segment was punk themed, and Harry sang a song I was told was titled “Kiwi.” I didn’t have to walk in this part, so I allowed myself to relax and just enjoy what I was apart of. Although it was my most important job yet, the show was meant to feel like a giant party. Things ran more smoothly and looked better when the models were having fun, and as I listened to my first love’s song for the first time, I found myself having fun.

By the time Harry’s song and the first segment of the show were over, all of my apprehension and dread about Harry being here was gone. I was filled with excitement for the chance to walk in the biggest fashion show of the year as an official Victoria’s Secret Angel. My body buzzed as I bounced on my toes, ready to open the Porcelain Angels section of the show.

There was a short interlude as Harry left the runway and the next performers came on. Thankfully, Harry didn’t notice me off to the side with my back to him as I watched the screen showing the runway.

“Y/N, on deck,” Olivier called, waving me over to the curtain.

I grinned and took a deep breath. It was time to shine.

He chuckled as he slid out. Taking his out-stretched hand, I allowed him to help me out of the car and over to the small area where we would wait our turn to walk the carpet.

“Have I told you yet how gorgeous you look tonight?” Timothee asked as he pulled me close and rested his hands on my exposed lower back.

“Maybe once or twice,” I grinned, “but I don’t mind hearing it again.”

He growled softly as he looked up and down hungrily, “I love this dress. It might be the best one yet.”

I blushed. The dress in question was sexier than what I would normally wear to an award show, but I had fallen in love the moment I saw it on. It was a simple black with glittery crystal straps that matched Timmy’s suit. The neckline dipped low, showing off my cleavage tastefully. The soft black fabric clung to my curves as it fell to the floor. From the front, the dress was rather simple. The surprise, however, came when I walked, exposing a slit that came all the way up to where my panties should be. That, and the fact that it was completely backless, made the dress a little risqué, but I wasn’t worried. I felt sexier than I had in a long time, and I was loving it.

With a teasing grin, I leaned in close so that only Timmy would hear, “The best part is that it doesn’t allow for any underwear.”

Timmy’s eyes slipped closed, a low groan escaping, but before he could say anything, someone called his name. 

We both turned to see Austin Butler making his way towards us, a large smile on his face. He looked stunning in a dark grey suit with his short blonde hair styled perfectly. I couldn’t help but get butterflies in my stomach at the site of my long time celebrity crush.

“Hey man,” Timmy said, stepping forward to his his costar, “long time no see.”

Austin laughed, “Right? How’s it been?”

Before Timmy could reply, Austin caught site of me, his eyes going wide and a large grin slipping onto his features, “And who’s this stunning woman?”

I blushed and stepped forward to shake his hand, “I’m Y/N, Timmy’s girlfriend.”

“So nice to finally meet you,” Austin said, lifting my hand to kiss with a wink and causing me to giggle.

Timothee cleared his throat and wrapped his arm around my waist to pull me into his side, “So man, you up for any awards?”

I frowned at my boyfriend’s hard tone, glancing over to see that he looked less than pleased.

Austin laughed and shook his head, “Nah man, my publicist just thought it’d be good exposure before we started the press tour for our movie.”

“That’s too bad,” Timothee said with a smug expression, “I’m up for three.”

Austin raised his eyebrow, amused as he turned to me, “Wow, is he always this humble?”

“It comes and goes,” I laughed, glad that Austin was taking this so well.

“Timothee Chalamet!” we all turned toward the sound of Timmy’s name to see one of the workers motioning for him.

Timmy dropped his arm from my waist, instead taking my hand as he started to where we were being called, “Well that’s our cue. See you later man.”

“Bye, it was nice to meet you!” I waved quickly to Austin as I hurried behind my boyfriend.

Before I had a chance to ask what was wrong, Timmy and I were being ushered to the interview part of the carpet. The interviews all went the same, starting off with introductions and a few questions about how Timothee and I were before moving on to questions about Timmy’s most recent and upcoming projects. Even though the focus wan’t on me, I made sure to smile and stay focused the whole time. I was there to make Timmy look good, and if I didn’t pay attention it would look like his girlfriend didn’t care. Still, I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander to the celebrities around me ever so often. Everyone was dressed beautifully, and I waved to the few I knew that I made eye contact with, but my eyes were repeatedly drawn back to Austin. He just looked so good, and he kept glancing at me too.

Too much time later, Timmy was done with interviews and we were stepping in front of the hoards of cameras ready to take out picture. Timothee pulled me close, securing me against his side as we posed. Laying my hand against his chest, I smiled brightly, alternating between looking at the cameras and looking at my boyfriend.

We moved down the line every few seconds, switching poses as we did. Sometimes we would stand side by side, both facing the camera and sometimes we would stand chest to chest, my back exposed to the flashing cameras. The whole timeTimmy stood stoically, a smile never shown.

Two thirds of the way down the carpet I moved to step away from Timothee so that they could get some pictures of him alone. It was our routine for me to leave Timmy with a kiss on the cheek before stepping off to the side of the carpet. This time, however, when I leaned up to kiss him, Timothee turned, capturing my lips with his.

The kiss was way too steamy for the red carpet as Timmy pulled me flush against him. He kissed me firmly, looking smug when he finally released me. Blushing, I buried my face in his chest since he still hadn’t let me move away.

After a few seconds he let me go, hand sliding down my arm to take my hand and pull me the rest of the way down the carpet. I tried my best to hide my chock as we walked into the building, not stopping to pose for any more pictures. I could hear reporters, and even Timothee’s manager, calling his name, but he ignored them.  Instead, he pulled me all the way down to a secluded corner of the main entrance of the building used for the award show.

“What the hell was that?” I glared, hands on my hips. Timmy knew I wasn’t the biggest fan of PDA and that the red carpet definitely wasn’t the place for it.

Timothee continued to look smug as he shrugged, “A kiss.”

“Oh really? I didn’t notice?” I bit back, “What the hell was it doing on a red carpet?”

He scoffed, “Don’t act like you didn’t like it.”

I threw up my arms, completely exasperated, “Timothee! You full on kissed me on the red fucking carpet! What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that you’re my girlfriend,” he said, anger clear in his voice, “and everybody needed yo be reminded.”

I closed my eyes, sighing as I realized what was going on.

“Tell me this isn’t about Austin,” I said as I stepped closer to Timmy, laying my hands on his chest.

He just looked away with a huff, muttering something in French under his breath and confirming my suspicions.

I sighed again, smoothing my hands over his jacket, “Oh Timmy, what am I going to do with you?”

“He just wouldn’t stop looking at you, even during interviews and pictures,” Timmy said quickly, looking at me finally, “and the other day you were fantasizing about him and you look so good mais tu es a moi, pas a lei, et il ne put pas t’avoir. Je t’aime tellement et…”

“Timmy! Timothee!” I interupted, knowing that if I didn’t he would just continue to rant in French, “Calm down.”

He sighed, wrapping his arms around me and saying softly, “I just don’t want to lose you.”

Smiling softly, I pulled him into a tight hug, “You won’t Timmy, you won’t.” I pulled back to look at him, running my hand over his cheek, “Don’t get me wrong, Austin is hot,” Timmy growled, eyes flashing as they met mine, but I continued anyway, “but I don’t love him. I love you, my sweet, jealous idiot.”

He chuckled and leaned down to nuzzle my nose with his, “I love you too, mon cher.”

“Now that that’s settled,” I said, stepping back and smacking his arms, “what were you thinking with that kiss?”

Timothee shrugged, that smug look back on his face, “You have to admit that those pictures will be great.”

I rolled my eyes, “Your manager is going to kill you.”

Timothee was away at another suit fitting when I decided I was tired of waiting. If he wasn’t going to get me off, then I was going to get myself off. First I took a shower, knowing I always felt better when I was clean and freshly shaved. Then I slipped into the lingerie I had bought. I decided that it made me feel sexy, so I wouldn’t leave it to go to waste in the closet. Lastly, I settled in the middle of our bed and opened Tumblr to find a smut to help me.

At first I tried to find one about Timmy or one of his characters, but I soon realized I had exhausted those while he was away. I kept scrolling while I thought about who else to try when I spotted a picture that caught my attention. It was a candid shot of Timothee filming his most recent movie. He was holding a wooden sword in a hilariously bed fencing stance, a funny expression on his face. Across from him, in an equally bad stance, was his costar, Austin Butler.

Austin’s blonde hair was cut short and there was a wide smile pulling at his lips. His blue eyes had a mischievous glint in them as he looked down at my boyfriend. I had always found him attractive and quickly decided that one of his characters would do. 

With renewed excitement about my impending orgasm, I typed in Austin’s name and started searching. I found a satisfactory smut after a few minutes and settled in to start reading. It didn’t take long to get lost in the story and the way it made me feel. My body heated up, and I began to run my hands along it. When I decided I had teased myself enough, I let my fingers wander down to where I wanted them most. Moaning at the relief, I rubbed myself, picturing the character’s warm body on top of me, his fingers where mine were.

I could feel heat and tension building in my body, and I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. Abandoning my phone in favor of having both hands free, I began rubbing faster. Feeling how wet I had gotten and a deep need to be filled, I slipped a finger inside me. Moaning at the sensation, I quickly slipped in another one. I let out a whimper as I worked harder and brought down my other hand to rub at my clit. I could feel myself getting closer, my orgasm just out of reach, when everything stopped.

“What’s going on in here?” I heard, amusement shining clearly in Timothee’s voice.

Eyes flying open in surprise, my hands leapt away from my body. My heart pounded in my throat, and I could barely breathe as I shot up to a sitting position.

“Timmy!” I said, my voice coming out much higher than I wanted, “You’re home early.”

“Am I?” he asked, eyebrow raised as he stalked towards me, “I wasn’t aware I indicated when I’d be home.”

Cursing under my breath, I internally scolded myself. He was right, he never said when he’d be home. I had just assumed it would be late again. Carefully, I watched as he came to a stop at the end of the bed, heated gaze locked on my lace-clad body. He didn’t like when I touched myself when he was home. He saw it as his job to get me off, a job he took very seriously.

“What’s got you so hot and bothered you couldn’t wait till I got home, mon cher?” he asked as he reached for my open phone.

Eyes wide and breathing heavy, I scrambled to snatch my phone from where it had been abandoned on the bed. Unfortunately, Timmy got to it before me and quickly pulled it toward him and out of my reach. Groaning internally, I knew I was in for it now.

It took Timothee a few seconds to recognize what he was looking at. It took him a few more to realize that the fan fiction I was reader was not about him. When he realized exactly who it was about, his gaze snapped to mine fire burning in my usually soft eyes.

“Him, mon amour?” he questioned, a hardness I recognized as jealousy in his voice, “Of all people, him?” 

I shrugged in an attempt to play off my racing heart, “You know I prefer smut to porn.”

Chuckling darkly, he locked and tossed my phone to the side on the bed, “Oh I know, it’s just usually about me.”

I rolled my eyes, starting to get a little annoyed, “Yeah well, you’ve been gone a long time and there’s only so much good smut out there.”

“Hmmm, but I’m home now, and you know how I feel about you touching yourself when I’m here.”

That was it. I was officially mad, and I didn’t bother to hide it as I slid off the bed so I could glare at him with more dignity. Timothee looked a little shocked at my sudden change, but I didn’t let it deter me.

“Are you though?” I spat, arms coming to cross in front of me, “Because it sure doesn’t feel like it.”

“Excuse me?” Timmy said, now beginning to get a little annoyed himself.

I scoffed, “You’ve been home for two weeks Timothee! And you haven’t touched me once. I’ve waited so long for you to be home, but now that you are, you don’t have time for me. You can’t expect me to keep waiting!”

He took a step forward, his anger quickly matching my own, “Oh so just because I’ve been a little busy it’s okay for you to fantasize about another man! And Austin at that! Knowing how staring alongside him made me feel!”

I groaned, instantly deflating as I remembered. I’d been so caught up in my lust that I had completely forgotten what Timmy had told me at the beginning of filming. He had never met Austin before, but he knew of him. Then they shot their first scene together, and it had left Timmy feeling inadequate. He called me to tell me that he felt weak and childlike next to the tall blonde. He had worked hard in the gym for this role, but he was still skinny. Timmy was strong and fit, but still lean. He didn’t have the abs or biceps that Austin did, and it had left him feeling less-than. I’d done my best to reassure him that he was just as handsome and fit for his role, but I knew now that some insecurities had lingered.

Sighing, I let my arms drop to my side, “I’m sorry Timmy, I forgot. I shouldn’t have used him.”

A smug expression slipped onto my boyfriend’s features but I quickly cut him off before he could say anything. 

“But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook either!” I said, “You’ve been home for two weeks and you know how much I’ve missed you, but you’ve still been ignoring me.”

Timothee sighed, stepping towards me to take my hands, “I haven’t been ignoring you baby, I’ve just been busy.”

“Too busy for me,” I said, looking down sadly.

“Hey, no more of that,” he said, lifting my chin so I was looking at him, “I’m never too busy for mon amour.”

I rolled my eyes, “Really? ‘Cause it sure seems like it.”

“Oh so we’re gonna be a brat tonight, huh?” he chuckled with a raised eyebrow.

“Maybe if you’d fuck me, I wouldn’t be,” I grumbled.

He laughed and pulled me closer. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he secured me snugly against his chest, “Mé chante fille, such a dirty mouth for such a pretty girl.”

I scoffed, but reached up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck anyway, “We both know my mouth is nothing compared to yours, mon roi.”

He groaned and allowed his hands to slip down to cup my ass, “Oh Princesse, tu es dedans maintenance.”

With that he slammed his lips against mine. I instantly returned his heated kiss, tugging lightly at his curls to show my pleasure. Timothee didn’t waste any time turning me so my back was to the bed and pushing me down. I giggled as I fell, loving the way he watched me with a hungry gaze as I crawled backwards up the bed.

“Is this new?” he asked, groaning when I nodded, “Baise moi.”

“Yes please,” I breathed, having caught on to those words a long time ago.

He laughed as he crawled over me, “Cheeky girl.”

I shrugged, tangling my fingers into his hair again, “Ya, but you love me.”

“I do,” he said, “pour toujours.”

I sighed happily and leaned up to connect my lips with his. This kiss was slower, each of us trying to show the other how much we loved them. It wasn’t long, however, before I became impatient. Breaking the kiss, I hooked my leg around his waist and used my weight to flip us so that he was trapped beneath me. I didn’t waste any time attaching my lips to that spot on his neck I knew drove him crazy. He groaned, prompting me to keep sucking until he had a nice collection of bruises.

“Baise moi,” he groaned, “You’re gonna get me in trouble.”

I grinned, “Good, then you’ll have to stay in with me.”

He laughed, but it was cut short when I began unbuttoning his shirt, leaving kisses on the newly bare skin as I went. I didn’t stop till I reached his belt, where I glanced up to find him watching me with hooded eyes.

“Va sucer ma bite, Princesse?” he asked as I began to leave kisses along his waist band, lust clear in his voice. I recognized enough to know what he was asking.

“I don’t know, mon roi,” I paused, hand on his belt buckle, “should I?”

He nodded, biting his lip as he watched me slowly discard his belt and undo his pants. I took a moment to palm at his growing bulge, relishing in the moan that left his lips, before leaning down. With a cheeky grin on my lips, I quickly pecked his clothed dick and rolled off of him. 

“No, I don’t think so,” I shrugged, laughing at his shocked expression.

Timothee let out a frown as he rolled on top of me and pinned my arms above my head with one hand, “Une putain de taquine. You’re gonna regret that, mon amour.”

I squealed when he dove into my chest, biting and sucking at the flesh of my breasts spilling out of my bra. He let go of my arms, instead using that hand to reach under me and unclasp my bra. Moaning as he ripped it away, I allowed myself to focus on nothing but the man infront of me.

“Oh Timmy!” I breathed as he made his way lower.

“Mmm baby,” he moaned, grinning at me as he hovered above my panties, “say my name.”

Then his mouth was on me, and I was loosing myself. It had been so long since he’d touched me that my body was on fire with every brush of his fingertips. Everything was so overwhelming but so good at the same time. Before I knew it, I was cumming, back arching off the bed as I cried out his name.

I watched, not yet sated, as Timothee sucked his fingers clean then wiped his mouth on his arm. He looked ravenous as he stood up to pull his black skinny jeans and underwear down his legs.

“Think you can take another?” he asked, stroking himself a few times and kneeling on the bed.

I moaned, eyes slipping closed as I imagined being filled by him after all this time, “Always, mon roi.”

Then he was pushing into me, filling me so sweetly that I couldn’t help but sigh. Timothee went slowly, knowing that after so long away, I’d need a little time to adjust. When the stinging was gone after a few minutes, I moved my hips, prompting him to start fucking me. And fuck me he did, long and hard until we were both sweating. I came first, falling over the edge with a loud cry of his name, then he came, pulling out and spilling his seed across my belly.

I allowed my eyes to slip closed, trying to get my breathing back to normal as Timmy left the bed to get a wash clothe to clean up. I didn’t open them again until I felt him fall into the bed and pull me against him.

“Hi,” I said, softly turning on my side so we were facing each other.

“Hi,” he returned, a mischievous glint in his green eyes.

I pushed a stray curl out of his eyes before asking, “What?”

“My king, huh?” he said, “That’s a new one.”

I blushed, shoving his shoulder as I tried to hide my face, “Shut up! You sure seemed to like it.”

He laughed and pulled me into his side as he turned on his back, “Oh I’m not denying it, ma princesse, I’m just saying it’s new.”

I shrugged, “What can I say? King Henry did things to me.”

He laughed again, squeezing me as he said, “Je t’aime, ma fille idiots.”

“I love you too, Timmy. Always.”

We laid in silence for a few minutes, just basking in the post-sex glow. I felt my eyes slipping closed when I heard Timmy clear his throat.

“So,” he paused, “was it worth the wait?”

I laughed loudly and pecked his cheek, “It always is.”

I had been having a particularly hard day at work when I got a text from Timothee to check his Instagram. Curious, I immediately clicked open the app and looked for his most recent post. What I saw had my body instantly heating up.

The picture was a first look of Timmy’s character in the movie. He was dressed in period garb with black leather pants and chainmail. His hair was cut shorter than usual, and he was looking off camera with a serious look on his face. The image radiated power and authority, a look I usually only saw from Timmy in bed.

Sucking in a deep breathe, I attempted to rein in my racing heart. I didn’t bother texting him back, knowing he would see that I had liked the post and that he would know what it had done to me. For now, I tried desperately to focus on my work until I could get home and show him exactly how much I had liked the picture.

That night our FaceTime hadn’t been so innocent. Instead we both showed each other just how much we had missed the other with lowly spoken words of praise and need. After that, all of our conversations had an underlying, if nor outright, sexual tones. It was obvious that we needed each other in a more carnal way that neither of us were bothering to hide.

It was no surprise really that we had come to this. Timothee and I had always had a very active sex life, and that didn’t change just because he was away filming. After almost two years together, we knew all of the alternative ways of getting each other off. If anything, it was surprising that we hadn’t started this earlier.

We continued like this for two months, our calls now ending with breathless “I love you’s” after we were both temporarily satisfied. Neither of us was a stranger to the fact that the tension and sexual frustration was building the longer he was away. I needed him, and he needed me, and the last day of filming could not come fast enough.

Just when I thought I would die from frustration, Timmy announced in an excited call that he would be him in two days. Bubbling with anticipation, I prepared for his arrival. I re-stocked the fridge with all his favorites, changed the sheets on the bed so he could crawl into fresh ones, and even bought a new set of lingerie that I knew he would love.

I took off of work the day he was set to arrive, knowing I wouldn’t be able to focus. Instead I set my focus on preparing for tonight. Timmy’s plane would arrive relatively late, and I knew he would be hungry, so I made his favorite dinner. I also took a shower, shaved, and put on the lingerie under now of his oversized t-shirts so that I was prepared for desert. It was a tradition to spend our first night back together relieving all of our built up tension, no matter how late he got in. 

Finally, I got the text that he had landed and was in a car on his way home. Squealing, I set out dinner on our small table and went to the entry hall to wait. I knew that it would take a while for him to arrive, but I was to excited to do anything else. I had missed my sweet boy more than I ever could have imagined, and I was so happy to finally get to be in his arms again.

Lost in my thoughts about his soft smile and fluffy brown hair, I almost missed the sound of the key turning in the lock. Still, there was no way I could miss the door swinging open to reveal my handsome boyfriend, a large yet tired smile on his face.

“Timmy!” I squealed, rushing into his arms and almost knocking him over in the processes.

He laughed and dropped the bags in his hands so he could wrap his arms around me, “Hi, mon amour.”

Eagerly I pulled back from the hug only to connect my lips with his in a frantic kiss. Pushing up on my toes, I tangled my fingers in the base of his now grown out curls and tugged lightly. He growled, returning my kiss briefly before pulling away with a quick peck.

“I’ve missed you, baby,” he sighed as he smoothed his thumbs over my cheeks and looked at me, “I almost forgot how beautiful you are.”

Rolling my eyes, I nipped playfully at his thumb before stepping away entirely, “I made you dinner.”

“I can smell that,” he smiled, hand trailing down my arm to my own so as to not loose contact. After so long away he didn’t want to let me go for a second, and I was perfectly fine with that. 

I bent down to pick up his bags as I said, “Why don’t you get started, and I’ll take these to our room?”

“Merci, mon cher. Hurry back, though. I miss you.”

Smiling, I nodded. I quickly took his bags to our room and deposited them in our closet before glancing in the mirror. Briefly, I fluffed my hair and smiled, then made my way back to where Timothee was tucking into dinner.

“How was your flight, handsome?” I asked as I sat beside him and tangled my fingers with those of his free hand.

Taking a moment to chew and swallow his bite, he shrugged, “Long and boring. This is really good.”

“You should know by now that I can cook when I want to,” I teased playfully.

He rolled his eyes with a smile, “But you prefer when I do it.”

I shrugged, “Not my fault those French grandparents of yours taught you so well.”

With a laugh and a shake of his head, he reached for the glass of wine by his plate. I watched mesmerized as his long fingers wrapped atone the simple glass and brought it to his lips. His soft lips curled around the rim, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed a large gulp. Then he returned the glass to its place by his plate, and my eyes lingered on his hand.

He had such nice hands. Long fingers, wide palm, perfect for curling inside me or pinning my hands above my head when I was naughty. Instantly my body heated uo, reminding me just how long I had gone without those hands on me.

Timmy must have noticed my gaze because he sighed. Blushing at having been caught, I looked up at him to find an apologetic look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked with a slight frown.

He sighed again and turned slightly to rest his arm on my shoulder and play with the ends of my hair, “I’ve had a really long day, mon amour, and I have to be up really early for a photoshoot tomorrow.”

“So?”

“Baby,” he said softly, abandoning my hair and cupping my cheek, “I can’t tonight.”

“Oh,” I said dejectedly.

“I’m sorry, amour. I know how much we’ve both been looking forward to this, but I need to get some sleep.”

Plastering a small smile on my face, I shook my head, “It’s alright Timmy. I understand, and I can wait.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, leaning down slightly to catch my eye.

“Of course.”

He smiled and pulled me into a big, “Je t’aims, douce fille. Merci.”

“I love you too, Timmy. So much”

And that was how we broke tradition for the first time. Timothee finished his dinner then took a shower while I cleared the table. When I was done, I got ready for bed, making sure that he didn’t see my disappointment. I knew that his job was important, and I didn’t want to make him feel bad. I hadn’t lied. I did understand, and it was fine. I was perfectly capable of waiting. I just didn’t realize how long I’d have to wait.

My eyes widened and my heart stopped. Shit. Shit. Shit. How long had he been following me? If J saw me dancing with James, then he probably saw me drinking too. Not to mention the fact that I went out in tiny shorts and a crop top.   

Noticing my panicked expression he grinned, “Oh you thought you would get away with it? No, no, pet, you will be punished.”

That got my blood boiling as I remembered Harley. Raising my eyes to meet his, I glared, “You can fuck other people, but I can’t?”

He growled again and stalked toward me. Gripping my face in his hands, he smashed his lips against mine. I fought against the kiss, pushing at his chest in an attempt to make him let me go. It obviously didn’t work very well since he was a lot stronger that me, but after a few seconds he let me escape. As I took a hard step back, my wig got stuck on one of J’s many rings. It slid off my head, releasing my natural blonde hair. J’s eyes seemed to be glued to it as it fell around my shoulders and down my back.

“No, J,” I shook my head,  my hair dancing around me, “You don’t get to touch me! You don’t get to touch me after touching her.”

My Clown Prince laughed shortly and raised a non existent eyebrow, “You’re mad at me?”

I nodded, an unimpressed look on my face.

“Baby girl, you shot at me and missed. You’re lucky to be alive; I’ve killed people for less,” he said through gritted metal teeth, “You have no place to be mad at me.”

Scoffing, I crossed my arms, “I didn’t shoot at you. I shot at the bitch you were cheating on me with, and I didn’t miss. She’d be dead right now if it wasn’t for that damn glass.”

Even though he looked perfectly calm, I knew that he was beyond enraged. In fact, his left eye, the one with a little J under it, was twitching. I had spent enough time studying him to know that a twitchy eye was a very bad sign. Normally when his eyes twitched, it meant that someone was about to die.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Azrael,” he ground out, his voice shaking slightly with the effort to restrain himself.

“Fuck that. In fact, fuck you. You’re an untrustworthy asshole, J, that deserves worse than just me running away.”

Having been pushed to his limit, J raised his hand as if to backhand me. My mind immediately went back to over a year ago, to our first fight. It was the only time he had ever hit me, the only time he had even raised his hand against me. The slap had knocked me to floor, causing me to hit my head on the side of his desk and loose consciousness. When I had woken up,  he wasn’t there. I found him in his office, sitting against his desk with a bottle of liquor in his hand and tear stains on his cheeks. He told me he couldn’t loose me, and promised that he would never hurt me again.

With fresh tears in my eyes, I met J’s angry glare and repeated the exact words I had said to him then, “Hit me and loose me forever. I will not be your new Harley, and I will not stand for an abusive relationship. Hit me, and even if you lock me away for the rest of my life, I will never love you again.”

J’s gaze immediately softened as he dropped his hand to his side. He knew that he had struck a nerve, and he quickly tried to fix his mistake before he pushed me too far.

“Baby,” he said in a soft voice that was quite uncommon for him, “you know I would never hurt you.”

Now that I was no longer in mortal danger, the events of the day caught up to me and I was suddenly extremely exhausted. Leaning against the doorframe beside me, I shrugged and gave him a tired smile, “J, you already did.” 

My clueless Mr. J seemed to finally realize the damage he had caused as a crestfallen look overtook his beautiful face. He didn’t know what to do, and he didn’t receive any clues from me. After a few moments of just staring at me with a sad expression, he finally decided to pull me into a hug. Too tired to fight it, I allowed him to embrace me, in turn wrapping my arms around his torso and burying my face in his chest. I inhaled his wonderful scent, and for the first time in two weeks, felt my whole body completely relax.

“Why did you do it, J?” I asked, my insecurities beginning to emerge in my tired state, “Am I not good enough for you anymore?”

J growled and pulled me tighter against his chest, “Don’t say that. You are perfect, I would never want anyone else.”

“If you really thought I was perfect, you wouldn’t have kissed her,” I grumbled quietly against his chest.

He shushed me softly, running his hand through my hair to calm me down. Unfortunately his comforting touch wouldn’t let me forget what he had done and why I had left. I may not be screaming at him, but I was angry, and I was hurt. He wasn’t going to get away with that lame answer, so I reluctantly pulled away.

J regarded me carefully as I stood up straight and crossed my arms over my chest. Fixing my eyes on his, I gave him a hard look, “I need an answer, J. Why did you kiss her?”

Gritting his teeth, J ran his hands through his bright green hair. He turned away and started to pace across my room. I just watched and waited as he seemed to be having a battle within himself. After a few moments of trying to wear a hole in my floor, J stopped suddenly and turned to face me. He had decided what his answer would be.

“You unnerve me Azrael, that’s why I let her kiss me,” he gritted out. Slightly offended, I raised an eyebrow. I opened my mouth to tell him that if anyone was unnerving it was him, when he shot me a scolding look,“You know better than to interrupt. Keep your mouth shut and listen.”

I rolled my eyes, but complied. Leaning my shoulder against the doorframe, I motioned for him to continue.

“You unnerve me because you get under my skin in a way that no one else ever has. Every little, annoying  feeling inside my body pushes me to protect you. The voices inside my head all call out for you, urging me to never leave your side. I would kill most anyone who dared to glare at me or run their mouth to me, but when you do it, I just want kiss you. When some idiot manages to piss me off or ruin a deal, you make it better. All I have to do is touch you, and all the demons go away. You tame me, Azrael,” he said, causing my heart to flutter, “that’s why I let Harley kiss me. I had hoped that it was just a stupid obsession, but when even she couldn’t pull me out of it, I knew I was screwed. I told her that I would kill her if she ever came back to Gotham as soon as you left.”

J paused to take a step toward me. My heart beat hard in my chest, trying to break through the cage of my ribs, when he grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him. There was a look in his clear blue eyes that I had never seen before as he ran his tongue over his silver teeth.

“You snuck your way into an organ I was beginning to believe I didn’t have, and now it belongs to you. I kissed Harley Quinn for the last time because I’m in love with you, and it is the only thing that has ever terrified me.”

My heart swelled and tears spilled onto my cheeks. Having never expected to hear those words from him, I was completely shocked. Six months after he had claimed me as his, J had found out that I loved him when I said it in my sleep. He had taken it better than I thought he would, but it still wasn’t the desired reaction. After we had recovered from that, I had realized that J would never be able to tell me he loved me. I had realized that J showed his feelings through his actions, and I eventually came to terms with that. Now here he was telling me he loved me, and I was absolutely elated.

I quickly wiped the tears away and closed the distance between us. Harley was completely forgotten as I pulled him into a passionate kiss. J immediately wrapped one arm around my waist and tangled the other into my hair. He crushed my body against his, his lips meeting mine in a hungry fervor. Grinning against him, I kissed him back with an equal amount of passion. 

Kissing him after so long felt like absolute heaven. J tugged at my hair, using it to tilt my head back so that he had easier access to my lips. I couldn’t help but moan as his silver teeth sunk into my lower lip. J purred, releasing my lip and pulling back to look at me.

“You’re mine, Azrael Lestat, and no one else is allowed to have you.”

I nodded, “And you, Mr. J, are mine. Don’t even think about letting another girl touch you ever again.”

He laughed and nodded. J gave me another kiss then started to walk backwards towards my bed. I smiled widely as I followed, my eyes never leaving his. When his knees hit the edge, he sat down, his hands finding my hips and pulling me between his legs. There was a mischievous look in his eyes as he gazed up at me.

I laughed, allowing the sound to fill the room. When I looked back down at J he was smiling a true, perfect smile.

“I love you Mr. J,” I whispered, running my fingers through his vibrant hair.

He allowed his eyes to slip closed and purred, “I love you too my perfect Azrael. Please don’t ever leave me again”

   This morning my alarm woke me up from another nightmare. My head was pounding and my cheeks were stained with tears, but by now I was used to it. Sighing, I rolled over and turned off my alarm. My body protested when I tried to sit up, still exhausted from my fitful sleep. With a large yawn, I reluctantly pulled myself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. The tile floor was cold against my bare feet, causing me to shiver. Blindly reaching into the shower, I turned the nob all the way to the left, making the water as hot as it could be. While I was waiting for the water to warm up, I scrutinized my appearance in the mirror.

   I had changed since I left J, and I didn’t like it. My once bright blue eyes had lost some of their color, and now appeared dull. My long blonde hair fell around me in a tangled mess caused by tossing and turning all night long. I had lost weight because I had a hard time forcing myself to eat. Up until this moment, I had forgotten how self destructive I tended to be. It had been a long time since I didn’t have J making sure that I was taking care of myself.  

   Absentmindedly wondering how I had survived before him, I bent down to pull a towel out from under the sink. After placing it on a hook next to the shower, I stripped off my clothes and checked the temperature of the water. The water burned my hand, but I didn’t care because that was how I liked it. Stepping into the shower, I positioned myself under the stream of water. I allowed my muscles to relax as the water ran over them. 

   I stayed in the shower until the water got cold, then stepped out and wrapped the towel around me. Walking out of the bathroom, I headed for my closet. Shifting through my meager amount of clothes, I pulled out one of my work shirts and a pair of dark skinny jeans. Humming softly to myself, I set the clothes on my bed and stepped over to my dresser. I pulled out a black lacy bra and a matching pair of panties. After drying myself off, I slipped my clothes on.

   Once I was dressed, I made my way back into the bathroom where I started to apply my makeup. I applied only a light layer of foundation and mascara, wanting to keep it mostly natural as not to draw attention to myself. I then brushed through my hair, which took at least ten minutes. Making a mental note to braid it before I tried to go to sleep tonight, I began pinning my hair up as well as I could. When I had got it to lay as flat as possible, I turned to the wig sitting on the edge of the counter. Sighing, I picked it up and slipped it over my hair. The wig was short and black, the opposite of my natural hair. I had needed to change it, knowing that J would easily recognize me if he ever got close enough, but I hadn’t been able to make myself dye and cut it. So I bought a wig instead and forced myself to go through the long process of securing it every morning.   

   It was interesting to see how changing something as simple as a person’s hair changed their entire appearance. When I was done securing the wig in place, I was unrecognizable. Nobody who had known me before would be able to tell that it was me if they saw me. I was no longer Azrael. Now I was Evangeline Montgomery, a young woman who moved here looking for an escape from her overbearing family. 

   When I was done getting ready, I checked my phone for the time. I found that I had just enough time to eat breakfast before I had to leave. Walking to the kitchen, I made a bowl of cereal and sat down on a bar stool at the counter to eat it. The cereal was bland, but I forced myself to finish it, knowing that I needed to eat something. As soon as I was done, I rinsed out my bowl and placed it in the sink. Grabbing my purse and making sure to lock the door on my way out, I left my apartment.

   Barnes & Noble was only about a twenty minute walk from my apartment. On the way there, I let the noise of the bustling city distract me from my thoughts. Although I didn’t really like large crowds, I had chosen a big city because they were easier to disappear in. If I had chosen a small town in the middle of nowhere like I would’ve preferred, it would have been easier for J to find me. Plus people tended to like to meddle in each other’s business in small towns which was something I didn’t need.  

   Arriving at work, I found Kara, one of my coworkers and my only friend in this city, opening up the store.

   “Hey Kara,” I said, causing the girl to jump and drop the keys. I laughed lightly as she turned around and stuck her tongue out at me.

   “Thanks for the scare, Eva, I’ll remember that the next time you’re wondering around the shelves,” she said, smiling at me and bending down to pick up the keys. She then preceded to unlock the doors and make her way inside.

   Kara was the only bright spot in my days. She was a kind but sarcastic girl, and the only one of my coworkers who bothered to try to get to know me. We had become friends after our first conversation, bonding over our mutual love of Eddie Redmayne. She was the only person, besides my boss of course, who I had given my number to, and I was honestly grateful to have met her.

   “So, did you get anymore sleep last night?” she asked, beginning to prep the store for customers.

   I slid my hands into my pockets as I followed her, “No, I had another nightmare.” 

   She looked up at me and frowned, “Honey, that’s every night this week.”

   I just shrugged. Kara had managed to pull some of the truth about my situation out of me when we were at lunch one day. I had reluctantly spilled that I missed an ex boyfriend who cheated on me and that it was causing me to loose sleep. Since then, she had fretted over me like a concerned mom.

   “I know what you need,” she said suddenly, looking up from the cash register that she had been in the process of turning on.

   I raised an eyebrow, “And what’s that?”

   “You need a night out at the club with me and some of my friends,’ she grinned, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

    I immediately shook my head, “No, Kara, I don’t have the energy to go out.”

   Kara just rolled her eyes, “Mark my words, Evangeline, I will convince you to come, and you will enjoy yourself.” 

   Smiling at my friend, I shook my head again and made my way to the back of the store. After placing my purse in the break room, I began pulling new books out of their boxes and putting them on the shelves. Before too long, I had lost myself in the mindless labor of stocking shelves.

   I spent the rest of the day organizing books and helping customers. Every time Kara and would pass by me, she would add another reason to why I should go out with her tonight. After about an hour of hearing her plead and bargain, I decided that I would go. It would be nice to get to dance again, and I didn’t really have a reason not to go. It’s not like I had anything waiting for me at the apartment. 

   Even though I had decided to go, I didn’t tell Kara. It was funny to watch her get frustrated with me and walk off muttering to herself, so I continued to make her think that I wouldn’t go. Sometimes I was a little cruel, but I knew that she wouldn’t hold it against me. At the end of both of our shifts, I found her in the break room.

   I grabbed my purse and turned to my friend, smiling at her, “Ok, Kara, I’ll go with you tonight.”

   She immediately turned to face me, squealing and grabbing my hands, “Yay! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

   Kara dragged me back to her apartment, saying that we could hang out there before it was time to go to the club. We spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching movies that we both loved. For the first time in weeks, I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. It felt good to just hang out and have a girls’ day, something that I hadn’t had in over a year.

   At about nine, Kara decided that it was time to get ready. She dragged me to her room, pushing me towards her bed as she went to her closet. I watched as she flitted through her clothes, trying to find something she deemed worthy for me to wear. 

   “Here, this is perfect,” she finally said, shoving some clothes in my arms and pushing me towards her bathroom.

   After stripping out of my work clothes, I slipped the outfit on and looked in the mirror. I smiled at what I saw, immediately deciding that I loved what I was wearing. The outfit consisted of a pair of high waisted shorts and a shirt. The shorts were a glittery gold with silver zippers on the pockets. They fit me perfectly, showing off my legs nicely. Kara had paired the shorts with a simple black, long-sleeved crop top. Looking in the mirror, I had to admit that I looked good.

   When I emerged from the bathroom, I found that Kara had slipped into a sexy red dress that looked amazing on her. She grinned when she saw me, holding out a pair of black thigh high heels for me to put on. I clumsily put them on as she slipped into a pair of black stilettos. Taking a look at myself in her full body mirror, I decided that my makeup needed to be more dramatic.

   Kara instantly agreed when I suggested it, leading me into her bathroom where she kept her makeup. She handed me some gold eyeshadow and black eyeliner, saying, “The more dramatic, the better.”

   As I applied my makeup and she curled her hair, we continued to talk and laugh. I found that it was super easy to be around Kara, and I was starting to believe that I could make it without J. He wasn’t the only person in the world who could lift my spirits.

   We were about to walk out the door, both all dressed up and ready to go, when Kara stopped me. She told me to wait at the front door as she scurried back to her room to get something. Shaking my head at her forgetfulness, I grabbed my purse off her couch and went to stand by the front door. She was grinning when she came back, hiding something behind her back.

   “This is for you, to complete your outfit,” she said, bringing her hand to the front and revealing a beautiful gold necklace.

   I smiled at her gratefully, taking it and fastening it around my neck. With that we were finally ready to leave, and we made our way downstairs and out of her building. Once on the street, Kara hailed a cab.  

   “So what’s the plan?” I asked as one pulled up in front of us.

   “We’re going to meet a few of my friends at The King,” she answered, opening the door and sliding into the cab.

   My mind immediately went to J, my King. I thought about how this outfit would have made him purr, and God I loved it when he purred. This is the kind of outfit that would’ve made him keep me close to his side, not wanting anyone to have the chance to get too handsy. It was definitely the kind of outfit that he wouldn’t let me leave the house alone in. 

   It didn’t take long to get to the club. The building was packed, a long line spilling out of the large black doors and around the corner. As Kara paid the cabbie, I took a chance to look up at the club. It wasn’t as nice as J’s, but it was definitely a nice place. ‘The King’ was lit up in large glittery-gold letters above the doors. The building looked new, and I had a feeling that the interior would be quite modern.

   I followed Kara to the door when she was done with the cabbie. The bouncer seemed to recognize her and immediately let us both in, much to the chagrin of the couple at the front of the line. Making a mental note to ask her about it later, I followed her through the club. The music was pounding, the bass pounding through me and helping me to relax. I was right about the interior being modern, but I was surprised to see how simplistic it was. With a name like ‘The King’, I had expected it to be overly lavish.

   Kara and I pushed our way through the crowd, making our way to the back of the club. We made it to a wall lined with leather booths and high topped tables. Kara stopped for a moment, seeming to be looking for someone, before heading towards a booth in the corner of the room. Sitting at the booth were two men and a woman.

    “Kara!” the woman squealed above the music, standing up and pulling my friend into a hug.

   “Amara,” Kara said when she pulled away, “I’d like you to meet Eva.”

   I smiled at the stunning platinum blonde, giving her a small wave.

   Amara smiled at me, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Eva. I’m Amara and this is my boyfriend, Nico.”

   She slid back into the booth, wrapping her arm around the man who had been sitting next to her. Her boyfriend, Nico, nodded at me, and I gave him a small wave. Nico was a massive block of pure muscle, dwarfing the petite woman who was nuzzled up against him. Despite his huge size, he was handsome with his black hair and brown eyes.

   “Hey Kara, aren’t you gonna introduce your friend to me?” a voice called, instantly pulling my attention towards the man sitting next to Nico. He smirked and winked at me, causing a light blush to bloom across my cheeks.

   Kara rolled her eyes, “Eva, this is Amara’s obnoxious brother, James.”

   James grinned at me, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Eva.”

   I gave him a small smile, “It’s nice to meet you too. It’s nice to meet all of you.”

   Seeing that we all seemed to be getting along, Kara smiled and slid into the booth next to Amara. This left me to slide in next to James, who seemed all to happy to have me next to him. We all talked for a while, laughing and getting along like we had known each other for years. I found myself enjoying all of their company, so when James asked me to dance, I agreed.

   Standing up from the booth, I allowed James to take my hand and lead me to the dance floor. It was extremely crowded, but we managed to find enough space on the edge for the two of us. My back pressed up against James’ front, I began to move my hips to the music. It took only moments for me to completely loose myself in the heavy bass. Forgetting all of my troubles, I felt a sense of euphoria wash over me as I swayed and grinded against James to the beat. Here, dancing at the club, it was easy to forget what had happened just a few weeks ago.

   After hours of alternating dancing with James and dancing with the girls, I decided that it was time for me to go home. Saying my goodbyes, I gave Kara a hug and promised Amara that we would hang out again. As I left the club, I noticed that the line outside had disappeared, everyone either getting inside or moving on to another club. It was easy enough to hail a cab, and I gratefully slid into the seat. I gave the driver my address and closed my eyes as he pulled out onto the street.

    It took about twenty minutes to get from The King back to my apartment. I had to fight to stay awake as we bumped along the road, my body absolutely exhausted. Grinning, I realized that tonight I would finally be able sleep without nightmares. 

   The cab pulled to a stop outside my apartment building, and I slowly got out. I paid the driver, then blindly made my way upstairs. Yawning as I approached my door, I dug around in my purse for my keys. I finally found them and pulled them out, slipping them into the door only to realize that it wasn’t locked. Frowning, my body immediately went on high alert. I never forgot to lock my door and this morning was not the exception.

   Pulling my gun out of my purse, I slowly pushed open my door. I cautiously entered my apartment, finding the lights already on. After finding nothing out of place in the living room and kitchen, I made my way down the short hallway to my bedroom. I kept the gun raised in front of me as I slowly walked to my room, listening carefully to see if I could hear anyone. 

   When I reached my bedroom door, I found that it was only partially open. I slowly pushed it open the rest of the way, but paused before entering. Taking a deep breath and steeling myself against whatever I might find, I swung into the doorway. Aiming my gun straight at the figure sitting on my bed, I almost screamed.

   Terrified that J had somehow caught up to me, I whipped around and raised the gun to his head. Luckily it was only Frost, who immediately dropped his hold on me. Without a word he offered me my keys, which I had forgotten about. One look up at his ever serious expression, and I knew. I knew why he was so adamant that I didn’t disturb J. My heart dropped as tears filled my eyes and clouded my vision.

   “You knew didn’t you?” I asked softly, raising my hand to swiftly wipe the tears away.

   Frost only nodded as he shoved the keys into my hand. I took them without hesitation, sparing him a teary eyed but grateful look before rushing to my Jeep. Frost may not be able to openly defy his boss, but his small actions showed what he believed. He didn’t think I deserved the pain J was putting me through, and he wasn’t afraid to let me know it.

   Unlocking the door, I slid into the driver’s seat and started the Jeep up. Noticing the Lamborghini out of the corner of my eye as I locked the doors, I wished I had the keys to it, or at least that J didn’t. The expensive sports car was much faster than my Jeep. If J managed to get in it before I could far enough away, he would catch me in seconds. All I could do was pray that Frost would buy me some time as I put the Jeep in reverse and quickly backed out of the parking spot. I shuddered when the sound of J’s enraged shouts reached my ear. The sound prompted me to look up to my rearview mirror where I saw him. Just as I was passing through the garage exit, J stalked into the middle of the parking lot, stopping right behind his Lamborghini. His shoulders heaved up and down as he fumed, watching me race away from his hold. Of course Harley was right beside him, tugging on his arm in a pathetic attempt to get his attention. I scoffed and pushed the gas pedal further into the floor, shooting off into the night.

   Knowing that J would track the Jeep, I drove straight into the middle of Gotham, taking as many turns as possible to get there. The street was surprisingly full of people considering how late it was. Promptly finding a place to leave the Jeep, I parked and turned it off. I had bought myself at least thirty minutes by choosing a busy part of town. J would have to move carefully, hiding his identity from the people as he searched for me. That is, unless he wanted to deal with the Bat. 

   As quickly as I could, I climbed into the backseat and dug around under the seat. My hand closed around a nylon strap, and my lips turned up into a small smile. J had insisted that we keep two backpacks in every vehicle, one full of my clothes and one full of his, just in case we ever had to escape on short notice. I had always teased him about his paranoia, but tonight I was grateful for it. I was also grateful that he insisted on having blacked out windows on all of his vehicles. Safe from the gaze of any prying eyes, I swiftly stripped out of my dress, careful not to rip it. I then unstrapped the knife from around my thigh and laid it on the seat next to me. After digging through the bag for a second, I pulled out a pair of dark grey skinny jeans, a plain black v-neck t-shirt, and a black hoodie. I was suddenly very glad that I hadn’t let J pack my bag like he had wanted to. J didn’t like it when I dressed so simply, but I knew that I had to to blend in.

   Slipping my heels back on after dressing, I made a mental note to buy a pair of converse or boots as soon as possible. I then slipped the gun into my waistband in the back, tucking it under my shirt and successfully hiding it. I checked the backpack to make sure I had extra ammo, which I did, before picking up my knife. Taking a moment to silently apologize for what I was about to do, I sighed. Then I unsheathed my knife and stabbed it into the seat, dragging it towards me and ripping the expensive leather open. Inside the seat sat multiple stacks of hundreds, which I then preceded to shove in the backpack. I made sure I had everything I needed then grabbed the keys and slipped out.

   After looking around to make sure no one was watching me, I bent down and slipped the keys into a hiding place under the car. I didn’t want to throw them away because I hoped that one day I’d be able to get my Jeep back. I also didn’t want to take the keys knowing that J had put a separate tracker in them. There was only one thing left for me to get rid, and I knew it was what I would miss the most. Sighing, I took one look at my phone and threw it to the ground, shattering the screen and rendering it useless.

Shawn’s muscles visibly tensed, coiling and releasing as he sprung towards me. In seconds I was laid flat on the bed, his body securing mine in place and lips attaching to my jaw. I groaned at the feeling of him trailing kisses down my neck, occasionally sucking on spots he deemed worthy.

“Shawn,” I moaned when his hands joined in exploring my body, running over my sides and down to hook under one of my legs.

“Y/N,” he groaned back as he wrapped my leg around his hip and slid into the space created between my legs.

Shawn rutted against me, his cock sliding over my clit through my denim shorts and causing me to whimper. My body was on fire, every nerve in my body screaming out for more: more kisses, more touches, more Shawn. Nobody’s touch had ever felt this good and I knew that nobody else’s ever would. I was ruined for any other man, and he hadn’t even really touched me yet.

Unable to stand Shawn’s teasing brushes over my clit any longer, I wound my fingers into his hair and tugged hard, forcing his lips to halt their assault on my neck and his now black eyes to meet mine.

“If you don’t touch me now,” I said, a clear warning in my voice, “I’ll do it myself.”

At that Shawn sat up, his hands fumbling with the buckle of my belt. He cursed when he finally got it open, quickly unbuttoning the button and sliding my shorts down my legs. I moaned at the feeling of the cool air on my hot pussy and slid my hand down to rub at my clit. Shawn growled, his hand batting away mine and eyes locking on the wet spot on my bodysuit.

“Fuck,” he groaned, eyes slipping closed for just a moment as he inhaled my scent, “you’re fucking soaking.”

Whimpering and unable to wait, I reached down to grab Shawn’s hand and place it where I needed him most. His large hand was warm against me, and he waisted no time rubbing his fingers along my cloth covered slit. A loud, unashamed moan tore through me as he rubbed against my clit with his thumb, applying just enough pressure to have me seeing stars.

Shawn inhaled again, obviously enjoying the scent of my slick. Slowly, he pushed the barrier of my bodysuit to the side so that he could get a good look at me. Moaning at the sight of my dripping cunt, he ran two fingers through my fold and gathered my wetness on them. I couldn’t look away as he brought the digits to his mouth, and panting hard I watched as he sucked them dry.

A growl bubbled in Shawn’s chest, “Fuck, baby, you taste so good.”

“Shawn, please,” I whined, unabashedly lifting my hips off of the bed, seeking contact.

“Shhhh, baby, I’ve got you,” he said, leaning over me as he pushed my hips back to the bed with one hand and placed the other back on my heat, “Let me take care of you.”

I nodded vigorously, rocking against his hand and wrapping by arms around his neck to pull him closer. As I connected my lips with his, Shawn slipped his fingers under my bodysuit. He rubbed along my lips a few times, coating his fingers in my slick, before plunging his finger into my pussy. My back arched off the bed, a loud moan leaving me as he curled the long digit, stroking my walls as he moved in and out.

“Fuck,” I panted, kissing his jaw sloppily, “I knew those long fingers were good for more than jus guitar.”

My cheekiness was rewarded with the sudden addition of a second finger, forcing a high pitched whine to slip through me. I felt full, fuller than I ever had been, but I knew that this was nothing compared to what it would feel like to actually have him inside of me. My pussy clenched as Shawn pumped his hand and massaged my walls. His fingers scissored inside of me, trying to stretch me so I would be able to take his cock. Still, I knew that nothing would fully prepare me for when he first entered me, and my body shuddered in anticipation.

“Shawn, please,” I begged against his ear, “I need more.”

He groaned, but pulled out of me to sit back on his heels. I propped myself on my elbows so I could watch as he pumped himself a few times, preparing himself to enter me. It was when he was back laying over me, his tip at the opening of my pussy when I realized we were missing something.

“Wait,” I groaned, pushing lightly against his chest to halt his movements, “We need a condom.”

Shawn groaned, his head falling against my shoulder, “I don’t have one.”

My eyes widened in surprise, hands pushing harder against his chest to get him to look at me, “What?”

“Well I wasn’t planning on fucking anyone,” he said, slight annoyance evident in his tone.

I groaned again, hand slipping down to rub against my clit in an attempt to provide myself with a little relief. Shawn watched my movements for a second before his eyes snapped to mine, desperation clearly sining in them.

“I’m clean,” he pleaded, bumping his tip against my clit and causing us both to moan, “Do we really need one?”

“I’m not on birth control,” I sighed.”

He whined in desperation, “I’ll pull out.”

I shook my head knowing that if earlier was any indication Shawn wouldn’t be able to control himself enough to actually pull out, “We can’t risk it.”

He groaned in defeat, knowing that I was right. Neither of us was ready to be a parent and we couldn’t risk him not pulling out in time.

“Well will you at least let me make you cum?,” he asked, rutting his hips against mine and calling attention to both of our desire.

I frowned, confused about what he had in mind until he began to slip down my body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. I finally got the idea when he settled between my legs with his face hovering over my pussy and his mouth breathing warm air on my clit. Moaning loudly, I nodded. There was no way I was going to say no to him a second time.

Pushing my bodysuit aside, Shawn flattened his tongue against my pussy and licked a long, hot stripe up it. I moaned loudly, hand reaching down to tangle in his curls and hold him against me. Shawn smirked, obviously enjoying giving me pleasure as he wrapped his lips around my clit. At the same time that he started to suck, he slipped two long fingers into me, curling them up and hitting my sweet spot on the first try.

My hips arched of the bed and I groaned as white hot sparks erupted through my body. I knew that I wouldn’t last long, not at the pace he was going and not when I had wanted him for so long. Wishing mere moments, the coil inside of me was winding tight, every nerve in my body screaming for release. Shawn must’ve been able to tell I was close from the was my walls were clenching around his fingers because suddenly he was looking up at me, holding my eyes as he let out a long moan, and that was it.

The sexy sound along with the vibrations against my clit caused my body to erupt, pleasure shattering through me and shaking me to the core. My vision went white and I might have cried out, I’m not really sure. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the bed and Shawn was smoothing over my skin with a damp clothe, trying his best to clean me up.

I whimpered lightly and squirmed away from his touch, my body overly sensitive after my orgasm.

“Shhhh, baby, it’s ok,” Shawn soothed, tossing the clothe away and crawling up the bed to lay with me.

I cuddled up to him, nuzzling my head in his neck as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. Shawn’s hands rubbed over my back and he placed a lingering kiss on the top of my head. Smiling in contentment, I allowed my eyes to slip closed as I savored the moment.

“Shawn?” I whispered, not willing to speak louder and ruin the moment.

“Hmmm?” he hummed, pulling back slightly so he could look down into my eyes.

I bit my lip and peered up at him as I asked, “Are you a werewolf?”

A chuckle slipped past his soft lips, “What gave it away?”

Grinning, I shrugged, “Oh, I don’t know, between the black eyes and all the growling it was hard to tell.”

Shawn laughed and rubbed his hand against my back, “I imagine it was. Does that bother you?”

I shook my head, a smile still on my lips and nervousness bubbling in my chest as I prepared to ask my next question. His answer would determine where we went from here, and if my heart would be remaining intact. After today, I couldn’t survive him saying no.

“Shawn?” I started, sitting up so he knew I was serious.

“What is it baby?” his eyebrows furrowed and he reached out to take my hand in his.

“Am I your mate?”

The question lingered in the air a moment, and I began to worry that I had read the signs wrong. They were all there, the flashing eyes, the immediate attachment, the unwillingness to leave my side, but I could be wrong. I wasn’t a werewolf, so I couldn’t feel it the way he could, but I was so sure I was right.

But when Shawn didn’t immediately respond, I realized that I must’ve been wrong. Fighting back tears, I made to move off the bed and find my shorts. I couldn’t believe I had been so stupid to assume that just because he wanted to fuck me I was his mate.

“Wait,” Shawn’s hand shot out to grab my arm before I could move more than a few inches, “Y/N, please. Baby, you are my mate.”

I shook my head, no longer sure about anything, “Then why did you hesitate?”

He sighed, tugging on my arm until I fell against his chest. A tear escaped as he ran a soothing hand through my hair, “Because I know it’s asking a lot.”

“How so?” I frowned.

“I’m a musician, baby, and I travel a lot,” he sighed, “I’m almost never home and admitting you’re my mate is asking you to deal with all of that.”

I pushed myself up so that I was again sitting up. I laid my hand against Shawn’s cheek, caressing the smooth skin and smilingly softly when he leaned into my touch with closed eyes, “Shawn, I’m more than happy to deal with all of that if it means being with you.”

His eyes flew open and a grin spread across his features, causing me to laugh. Without warning Shawn sat up, wrapping me in his strong arms before pulling me back down with him and placing obnoxious kisses against my head. I laughed harder, overjoyed that he was so happy.

With one last kiss to my head, Shawn pulled back to look me in the eye. Pink blossomed across my cheeks at the adoration shining from his chocolate eyes, and my heart swelled with what I knew was love.

“Thank you,” Shawn said softly, placing his hand against my cheek.

I smiled, about to say that he was worth it, when the piercing sound of a phone ringing shattered the moment.

Shawn cursed, scrambling out of the bed and hopping around the room to find first his boxers and then his phone. I laughed as he almost fell in his hurry to pull the black fabric up his long legs. He turned to stick his tongue out at me as he grabbed his phone off the suitcase in the corner of the room, quickly answering it.

“Hey mom,” he said, his voice slightly higher than normal.

I covered my mouth with my hand in an attempt to stifle my giggle, knowing that Shawn must feel awkward answering his mom’s call after what just happened. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but he didn’t seem to be paying much attention as he gazed at me with affection.

“Hmmm?” he asked, breaking out of his trance and coming to stand closer to the bed, “Oh how was ACL?”

With that thought, I decided that I was tired of waiting. I needed Shawn, had needed him since he first walked onto that stage, and I needed him now. I was going to interrupt his shower and see if my theory about him was true.

Gathering my confidence, I stood from my spot on the couch outside and made my way into the trailer. A cold blast of air hit me as soon as I stepped inside, causing my nipples to pebble beneath the lace of my bodysuit. The door opened into a small living room that was actually larger than I had expected it to be. Off to the right was a small kitchen area with a sink and fridge, and to the left a small hallway that led to what I assume to be a bedroom. I smiled at the slightly messy living room, guitar cases and hoody laying haphazardly on the couch. It appeared that Shawn had been in a hurry when he came in earlier, no doubt anxious about when Andrew would get back. The thought caused my heart to swell, knowing that it meant he was excited to see me again.

I moved further into the room and towards the little hallway, quickly noticing that the bathroom door was slightly cracked. The light was on, and the soft sounds of Shawn humming floated through the crack. The water shut off, then the humming stopped as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. I could see his back through the opening in the door, muscles flexing as he leaned against the small counter and looked into the mirror. Biting my lip, I moved quickly and quietly through the small space and towards the bathroom.

Shawn’s eyes met mine through the mirror as I pushed the door fully open and slid into the space behind him. Without saying a word, I wrapped my arms around Shawn and allowed my  open palms to rest against his chest. Shawn’s breath hitched as I rested my head between his shoulder blades, stepping closer so that my front was flush against his back.

“Y/N” he breathed and I moaned. It was the first time he had said my name and my god, did it sound good.

Lifting my head, I met his eyes in the mirror once more as I placed a delicate kiss to his shoulder blade. Then, without breaking eye contact, I allowed my hands to explore his body. Slowly, I ran my fingers across his chest and down to his abs, scratching lightly over the hard, defined muscles. His stomach clenched, abs flexing, as my fingers moved along the ridges. I let out another soft moan, pressing another kiss to his back and allowing my fingers to trail closer and closer to the towel around his waist. Shawn’s eyes flashed black and a low growl slipped past his lips when my fingers finally reached the top of the towel. I could tell that my teasing was driving him crazy as I dipped my fingertips just inside the towel and his stomach clenched.

There was a warning in Shawn’s chocolate, lust blown gaze, urging me to move faster or stop. His wolf was close to the surface, the slightly black tint to his eyes giving it away, and he wouldn’t stand for this slow pace much longer. So, holding Shawn’s gaze in the mirror, I fully slipped my hand under the towel and wrapped it around his already hardening member.

I let out a moan, which was followed by Shawn’s growl, at the warm weight in my hand. Shawn was not small by any means, and I briefly wondered if it was due to the werewolf gene. His chest rumbled as I slowly began to pump my hand up and down his length, taking my time to feel every inch of him. With parted lips resting against the skin of his back, I brought my hand up to his tip and brushed my thumb over his slit. That seemed to be Shawn’s breaking point, because suddenly his hand was on mine, moving my along him faster. He groaned when I obliged, quickening my pace and applying more pressure. His hips began to shift forward as he thrusted into my hand. Shawn’s eyes had slipped closed at this point, his pink lips parted in pleasure and red blooming across his cheeks, but I continued to watch him in the mirror. He was rock hard in my hand, small whimpers slipping into the air as I moved my hand faster and swiped my thumb over his slit again. And then he was cumming, groaning loudly as thick, hot spurts of cum fell onto my hand and the counter in front of us.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as his eyes opened, fully black as they met mine in the mirror, “Well, now look what you made me do.”

I raised a brow and unwrapped my hand from around him. Shawn watched mesmerized and breathing hard as I slowly brought my cum covered fingers to my lips. Purposely holding his gaze I took my time sucking each one clean, moaning at the slightly salty taste. When I was finished, I let my own smirk lift my features.

“Do you always cum that fast?” I challenged.

Shawn growled, whipping around and causing me to stumble into his chest. Without a word, he crashed his lips into mine and kissed me like a starving man. I moaned, immediately kissing back with the same fervor. My hands moved from their place against his abs up over his chest and around his neck to tangle in his hair. I tugged lightly on the curls at the base of his neck, earning a low growl that rumbled through his chest and into me, lighting my nerve endings on fire. Shawn moved to break the kiss, but I made a sound of protest, pushing up onto my toes to reconnect our lips. He chuckled, amusement shining in his eyes as he pulled away.

“So eager for me, baby,” he said lowly, cupping my face in his large hands and resting his thumb on my bottom lip.

I nipped at the pad of his thumb and nodded, “Have been since you walked out on stage in that stupid white shirt.”

“Why don’t we take care of that then?” Shawn grinned, stepping towards the door and tugging me with him.

Biting my lip, I followed without hesitation as he led me to the small bedroom at the back of the trailer. All I could focus on was him moving so that I was standing in front of the bed facing him as he stood between me and the door. I placed my hands back on his abs, tracing the hard ridges and causing his stomach to clench yet again.

He laughed, drawing my attention away from his sculpted body and up to his warm eyes, “You really like my abs huh?”

“What can I say? Perfection like that deserves to be worshipped,” I shrugged, unashamed by my appreciation for his body.

“I could say the same about you,” he said, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he ran his fingers along the v of my bodysuit.

A slow grin broke out across his features, his brown eyes lighting up with joy before he turned to glare at Andrew, “You told me you didn’t find her!” We all laughed at the outrage in his voice, Andrew shrugging, “Sorry. It was just too easy to resist.”

Lila cleared her throat, drawing Shawn’s attention to her obvious annoyance that she hadn’t gotten her picture yet. I rolled my eyes at her childishness, slightly annoyed myself that she was being so demanding.

“Oh, sorry,” Shawn said, stepping towards her.

She held her phone out to me expectantly, which I took with another eye roll, before sidling up next to Shawn and wrapping an arm around him. I fought back the jealousy that rushed through me as he wrapped his arm around Lila, his hand settling on the bare skin of her waist left exposed by her crop top.

“Ready?” I asked, my voice harder than I would’ve liked as I prepared to take the picture.

They both nodded, Lila grinning at the camera and Shawn smiling softly. I quickly snapped the picture then held the phone out to Lila. She squealed, turning to quickly thank Shawn with a hug before grabbing her phone. I felt another wave of hot jealously flash through me at the contact, but quickly shook it off. It was ridiculous to be jealous of a silly hug, especially considering Shawn hadn’t taken his eyes off me since he realized I was here.

“Damn, don’t stare too hard,” Dede joked, speaking for the first time since we had come backstage.

Pink tinted my cheeks as I glanced away from Shawn and stuck my tongue out at her.

Shawn moved his attention to Dede, a smirk on his lips, “I can’t help it when there’s someone that gorgeous to look at.”

The pink in my cheeks darkened to a deep red and I hid my face in my hands, a small smile tugging my lips up. Dede and Shawn laughed, both apparently quite amused by my embarrassment.

“Do you want a picture too?” Shawn asked, looking briefly at Lila, who was too engrossed in her phone at this point to pay attention to us, before focusing back on Dede.

“Oh no, I’m just here for moral support,” my best friend shook her head, “She wouldn’t have come without me and I wasn’t gonna let her miss this since she has massive crush on you.”

Shawn smirked, addressing me directly for the first time, “You’re a big fan huh?”

I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, crossing my arms over my chest and shrugging, “I actually came because I hoped seeing you in person would make it go away.”

Dede and Andrew, who had been listening and watching us interact, laughed loudly. I smiled smugly at the fake-hurt expression on Shawn’s face.

“Baby that hurts,” he said, covering his heart with his hand.

“Sucks,” I said, shrugging again.

Shawn turned to Dede, “What about you? Do you think she should get over me?”

“I don’t think it matters now,” Dede rolled her eyes, “It only made it worse.”

I laughed at her obvious displeasure, knowing it was all for show. Dede had no problem with my crush on Shawn or me talking about him. She just pictured someone else’s face on his body when I did, because “his body is just fine, it’s his face that’s the problem” according to her.

“She sure seemed to be enjoying herself to me,” Shawn smirked, eyeing my body and making my stomach squirm.

Lila looked up from her phone suddenly and actually paid attention to her surroundings for the first time since she got her picture with Shawn.

“Can we go now? I want to see other bands,” she whined, causing me to frown and Dede to roll her eyes.

Dede noticed my obvious unwillingness to leave, and Shawn’s unwillingness to let me, and quickly stepped in, “I can go back to the festival with Lila, if you want to stay here Y/N.”

I smiled gratefully at my friend, looking at Shawn to make sure he was ok with this. He looked just as happy as I was, so I quickly took Dede up on her offer.

“That would be great,” I said, pulling her into a hug, “Just text me when ya’ll are about to leave so I can find you and ride back with you.”

“Oh, um, I can take you back home later,” Shawn quickly interrupted, stepping closer with a light pink tint on his cheeks.

I grinned, liking the sound of getting to stay with him longer. Dede nodded, waving goodbye before tugging Lila back the way we had come. Andrew followed behind them, saying that he would see them out, and then we were alone.

Smiling shyly, I glanced up at Shawn, really looking at him for the first time since we came backstage. He was still wearing his white button-up and back skinny jeans, sweat causing the cotton to stick to his skin and outline his muscles. My attention was drawn to his messy curls, also damp with sweat, as he ran a hand through them, biting his lip and looking at me longingly. The heat in his gaze caused my face to flush as I realized that we were alone.

“Hi,” Shawn said quietly, his demeanor quickly shifting from cocky confidence to shy as he stepped towards me, not stopping until we were only a few inches apart.

“Hi,” I repeated, tilting my head back so I could look up into his eyes.

The wind blew and a piece of my hair fell across my face. Shawn immediately reached up, tucking the strand behind my ear and resting his palm against my cheek. I leaned into his touch and my lips parted slightly as I savored his warmth.

“You’re beautiful,” he growled softly and I blushed.

“So are you,” I whispered, a shy smile on my face as I gazed up at him.

He grinned, letting his hand drop from my cheek onto my shoulder where he ran it down my arm and grasped my hand in his. I shivered as his touch glided down, loving the sparks it left in its wake. I was suddenly reminded of his sweaty state when he leaned his forehead against mine and his wet curls brushed against me.

Scrunching my nose up, I pushed him back lightly, “Ew, Shawn, you’re gross.”

“Mmm baby, say my name again,” he smirked, pulling me against his body and nuzzling his face in my neck.

“Shawn!” I laughed, pushing him away again so he didn’t get more sweat on me.

He laughed too, the sound warming my heart and making my smile grow even bigger, “Alright, alright. I’m going to take a shower and then we can go watch some of the other performers.”

I nodded eagerly, liking the idea of him getting clean then exploring with me.

“You can wait out here, I won’t be long,”