Yes, the fics where Ilya goes to Shane's game in his jersey are cute and romantic. But why has no one even considered:
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@woshioolf
Yes, the fics where Ilya goes to Shane's game in his jersey are cute and romantic. But why has no one even considered:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
let me. innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
it is very instructive to play both silent hill and resident evil videogames because they are very similar except for how silent hill is good and resident evil is stupid. it helps you figure out what is stupid in a video game and what is good
for example, in silent hill games, you are confronted with many weird baroque puzzles you have to solve to proceed, because that is the dark and creepy and confrontational nature of the world you are in. in resident evil games, you are confronted with weird baroque puzzles you have to solve because apparently, separate from and unrelated to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, the raccoon city designers designed the subway station map so that if you insert a red jewel into the correct diamond shaped recess, a drawer opens that contains a live hand grenade
LEON KENNEDY Resident Evil Requiem (2026) dev. Capcom
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what’s your favorite way to heal in resident evil? 🪴
François Arnaud | Heated Rivalry's François Arnaud Gets Ready for the Saint Laurent Show | Vanity Fair | 01/28/26

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the avoidant attachment style whine is going in my top ten ilya noises folder
Yuna and David asking about the timeline of their relationship would have been even funnier if, after discussing how long they've been "lovers":
Yuna: ok, so you've been "seeing" each other for 9 years... And when did you confess your real feelings and decided to be together?
Shane:
Ilya:
Yuna:
David:
Shane:
Ilya: like, today at 4am
218. Anxiety
Shane Hollander really is the guy of all time. he's gay. he's autistic. he's wasian. he's the best hockey player in the world. he married his 8 year situationship. he's a millionaire but only because his mom said so. he has beautiful freckles. he had sex with a man for 8 years but the possibility that he might be gay only crossed his mind when he called him by his first name for the first time. to convince himself he was straight he started dating a movie star. he came out as a bottom. he does yoga. his situationship offhandedly suggested getting married for citizenship and he immediately stayed up until 4 am scheming so that wouldn't happen. he's an olympic medalist. he has a dog. his wedding song was diamonds by rihanna. he likes ginger ale.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Ilya: this guy is cute, I should start a stationary bike race so he knows I want to get sweaty together
Ilya: that didn’t quite work. Maybe I should just give him the eye? While I tell him I hope he likes his new city?
Ilya: okay. But surely if I make him drink from my water bottle and brush his fingers when passing it over…?
Ilya: call him pretty. To his face. No way he can miss that
Ilya: desperate measures, I’ll have to tell him I orchestrated this whole ad campaign just so I could see him again
Ilya: WHAT IF I STARTED JERKING OFF IN THESE COMUNAL SHOWERS?
Shane, 7 years later: I have figured out that you like me.
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