vicious circle

A child being raised by a parent or caregiver who is suffering from alcohol abuse may have a variety of conflicting emotions that need to be addressed in order to avoid future problems. They are in a difficult position because they cannot go to their own parents for support. Some of the feelings can include the following:

Guilt. The child may see himself or herself as the main cause of the mother’s or father’s drinking.

Anxiety.  The child may worry constantly about the situation at home.  He or she may fear the alcoholic parent will become sick or injured, and may also fear fights and violence between the parents.

Embarrassment.  Parents may give the child the message that there is a terrible secret at home.  The ashamed child does not invite friends home and is afraid to ask anyone for help.

Inability to have close relationships.  Because the child has been disappointed by the drinking parent many times, he or she often does not trust others.

Confusion.  The alcoholic parent will change suddenly from being loving to angry, regardless of the child’s behavior.  A  regular daily schedule, which is very important for a child, does not exist because bedtimes and mealtimes are constantly changing.

Anger.  The child feels anger at the alcoholic parent for drinking, and may be angry at the non-alcoholic parent for lack of support and protection.

Depression.  The child feels lonely and helpless to change the situation.

Although the child tries to keep the alcoholism a secret, teachers, relatives, other adults, or friends may sense that something is wrong.  Teachers and caregivers should be aware that the following behaviors may signal a drinking or other problem at home:

Failure in school; truancy

Lack of friends; withdrawal from classmates

Delinquent behavior, such as stealing or violence

Frequent physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches

Abuse of drugs or alcohol; or

Aggression towards other children

Risk taking behaviors

Depression or suicidal thoughts or behavior