&&. DISTRUST

Vain threw the smoke up while listening to the other’s question. Like the fire, it was as if he loved it. It was clearly an obsession, even considered a mental illness. He scratched the back of his neck and then looked at him askance, it was certainly like that.

     ❝ I’m pyromaniac, I was diagnosed after having burned my best friend alive. My family wanted to help me but it was a bit late, it was really fun, I do not regret what I did in the past.  ❞

Why was he telling him that? Well, Vain liked to talk, and he did not mind talking about it. He had no traumas over his past despite having seen his closest people burning. Hahaha… These years, yeah, he lost control.

          “ Huh. ”

He shrugged and looked down at one of his hands. Hmm...friends. He scoffed and took another drag of his cigarette, tossing it on the ground and gently pressing his foot against it to crush it. He wasn’t too fond of smoking anymore, so he was already done. 

Vain stared at him while he held the cigarette in his hand. So then, Fang smoked but after arriving here there was no need to do it? Huh, he looked too tense to stop smoking out of nowhere. But hey, that was his problem, he was not going to get into how to find calm in this place, because it was difficult.

Then, obsessions. Vain he had them, enough in fact, like able to control someone, to see something or someone burn, burn in general— Things like that could cause Vain to lose his mind, but in the meantime he used to try to be a calm man.

     ❝ Good to know, they’re pretty bad. ❞ 

Bad? Yeah he guessed they could be terrible if they took over your life. He looked at Vain, examining him. He has some obsessions right? Hmm...

          “ Don’t ya like fire or somethin? ”

For once, Vain was not the only one enjoying the moment. He was sure that Fang was relaxing this time. The truth, it amazed him to have gotten that, could he again invite him to smoke another day? Maybe the other one finds it nice. Well, at that time he could talk again, right? Hm, although he was not sure if to start a conversation, he didn’t want to bother this good moment. But, let’s try it.

     ❝ I didn’t know you smoke, did you left it or something? I know this shit is so damn bad but, know being burned inside makes me want to smoke more. ❞

Then Vain looked at the lighter and lit it for a moment, watching the little flame. He narrowed his eyes. Nor he could understand that passion for fire. That great, powerful, capable of destroying, element.

       ❝ Fang? Did you have any obsession in your life? ❞

          “ I used to smoke pretty regularly before I came here.                I stopped because there’s no need to for me. ”

Vain really made it sound like an addiction...fuckin weird ass. He ignored it though, convinced himself it was just Vain being his usual self. Hearing his other question though...he scoffed. Obsessions? No. If anything, Fang had nothing. He had nothing to obsess over...ever.

           “ No. I didn’t. Don’t think I ever will, either. ”

Vain blinked when the other took the cigarette and put it against his lips. Had he really accepted it? Inwardly he felt happy, but on the outside he decided not to show anything. Even so, he was a man of many faces, could be as he wanted, he did not care to change his personality, since the real one was an empty space.

Whoa wait Fang showed his face, he was beautiful??

When the other said not to talk about this and then asked to light the cigarette, instead of using his lighter, he approached his face in front of the other, bringing his cigarette already lit to the other’s to light it. After that he moved away, remained seated and looking forward.

     ❝ Oh fine, we don’t talk about this. ❞ Vain was damn smiling there.

That wasn’t the way he expected it to be lit but he wasn’t phased. He breathed in the smoke, letting it linger before blowing it out slowly. Vain’s smiling face was so irritating...ugh. Whatever. He ran a hand through his hair, letting the hood on his head fall. 

          “ ... ”

“I mean its not like i could do that but….im bad with my hands…you uh..haven’t seen me kill someone have you? a quick shot to the throat is the best i can do ya know anything else and it takes a toll….” keeps picking at his gloves, its cause he’s not like the rest, and he’s damaged.

Plus he’s to nice…just..has a short breaking point.

“I guess my life is just going to be getting picked on….it happened out there and it happens in here.” ah there he goes.

“But you said no pity shit right? so hows about we hop on to another topic right fang?”

          “ Mm. ”

A simple grunt was all he let out, acknowledging what the other said. Yeah, exactly, no pity shit. Honestly he didn’t know what else he’d listen to Candy talk about. He held no interests, no empathy, no bonds...there wasn’t really anything he’d tell Candy himself, so what was the point. 

Vain at that moment put one of his hands in his pocket, took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. From the box he took out a cigarette and lit it. He inhaled quickly and then, blew the smoke aside. After it, he looked at Fang and decided to offer him one.

     ❝ Dunno if you smoke or smoked before, but if you want to try here you go. Maybe it can help you to feel more calm? No friendship, just, not always we can be alone y’know. ❞ 

Staring at the cigarette, he debated taking it before sighing. Okay, he’d do it. He took it and looked at the other. He’d have to take off his mask but...they were alone right? Vain was an ass but he doubt he’d go shouting around that he saw his face. 

          “ We don’t talk ‘bout this. ”

Was all he said before he pulled down his mask, revealing the rest of his face. He put the cigarette against his lips before glancing back at Vain. 

“Huh?” was he upset with him? oh no. “I uh…could never beat someone up..murder sure but punches and what not? i’ve never done that” picking at his gloves, he was nervous about this talk.

          “ If you can murder someone, you have the capacity                  of hurting someone. Punching, clawing,                 whatever the hell you do. People don’t take you                 seriously so you’ll just keep gettin’ picked on. ”

Vain blinked. Fang had noticed that he looked ansty? Oh shit, did he show it that much? Wait wait, was he worrying about him? That was an advance? Could he hug him for it? No no— control yourself, you really need to smoke.

    ❝ Sometimes even someone like me needs to smoke, it’s my way of de-stressing. I need a cig right now, but dunno if it bothers you. Can I here? ❞ 

At that moment he blinked, had Fang ever smoked? Maybe he could offer him to de-stress too, he did not mind sharing with him.

A smoke huh? It’s been a long time since he’s smoked. When out on the streets, he used it as a way to feel less anxious. He doesn’t need them anymore, but...hmm...

          “ I don’t care. Go ahead. ”

“I uh, have a hard time talking to people believe it or not, mostly girls for reasons..i don’t know iv’e had bad experiences with em so im like fear ya know? but someone like rana isn’t that bad even if she picks on me lots…everyone picks on me a lot actually, i kinda don’t like it but what can i do right?” 

          Tch, again, could of seen that one comin. 

He glanced down at the other. Fine, he wouldn’t tune him out, but he wasn’t going to console in him or give him any pity. He got picked on, oh well, tough luck. He wasn’t his guardian or protector, so he couldn’t stop anything. Though he could...

          “ That’s your own fault. You’re a murderer right?                 Hit back, fight, do whatever. You’re not a child                and this isn’t a playground. If you want em t’                stop, show em. ”

It was how Fang dealt with things right? Someone messes with you?

When Vain saw that the other one returned the glance he smiled to him. He would say something, but he did not want to miss the opportunity to stay there. He was comfortable, he did not really like being alone, apart from his floor was very spacious. When he did not want to stay there, he moved everywhere.

He had planned to go and bother Fang at that moment, but when he saw him lying on the ground he changed his mind, that man with a mask looked exhausted and he wanted to stop. 

Oh— Fuck. He felt the need to smoke. Oh c’mon, he was having fun now. 

          “ You look antsy. What’s up. ”

“Never would i expect a pity party” considered joining him on the wall but decided to give him space, “Well….the obvious things is i like soft colors and animals, rabbits are cool but im more a dog person myself ya know oh or birds, birds are nice too and cats.”

          “ That much I figured. ”

Oh really? Did he really let him stay there? Great then. Vain remained sitting next to the other without saying anything, looking forward, although from time to time he glanced sideways at the other.

Why does Fang always wear masks? Could he see him without the mask? Why was he always so irritated? Well, he would ask him but he had said he would keep quiet there.

Fang closed his eyes for a moment. He didn’t want to let his guard down around Vain...but he was too tired to care. Still though, he was beginning to get irritated of the other just sitting there staring at him, so he opened one eye, glancing up at the other. 

    ❝ What about sit here without say anything? ❞ 

          “ ... ”

He thought about it, laying there in silence for a second....