Fortune favors the brave, dude.

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

There was really no winning that one

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

"That is Signal, the Last Follower of the Old Law."

youre supposed to not be like this by my age but whatever

hi oh no sorry i dont mean to disturb you but i was just in the parking lot and i wanted to um just let you know that somebody put an illustration of a young woman making a porno face on your vehicle

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

"incurious" still GOAT insult. You could be better but you're not. You could learn but you won't, and for no good reason, just a base dispositional apathy. Get fucked

Being hairy is so awesome #mammal