a collection of fanworks of dubious quality

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Rating: T Characters: Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou, Sugawara Koushi, probably more later Pairings: Kageyama/Hinata, Kageyama <> Suga

Fandom: Haikyuu!! Rating: T Characters: Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou, Sugawara Koushi, probably more later Pairings: Kageyama/Hinata, Kageyama <> Suga

Fandom: Tokyo Ghoul Rating: G Characters: Touka Kirishima, Yoriko, Ken Kaneki Pairings: Touka/Yoriko

Fandom: Homestuck Rating: T Characters: Dave Strider

Note: Based on a prompt from a prompt generator.

---

In Dave's nightmares, he was the puppet. It was him.

Fandom: Homestuck Rating: T Pairing(s): Equius<>Nepeta Characters: Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon Summary: You know you can’t leave her like this.

Note: Inspired by the fanart/headcanon post that went around a while ago.

---

She looks like a ragdoll, carelessly dropped on the stone floor. You hear her groan once before becoming still. Only the steady rise and fall of her chest reminds you that she’s still alive.

Fandom: Homestuck Rating: M Pairing(s): Karkat<>Kanaya, implied one-sided Rose<3Kanaya Characters: Karkat, Kanaya, Rose Summary: Karkat wakes up in an alley with no recollection of how he got there and a little more than a headache. An urban fantasy humanstuck AU.

WARNING: BLOOD, GORE, BODY HORROR, NEEDLES/SKIN STITCHING

Note: The original version of this fic was an entry for round 2 of HSO, and it actually made it into the second round of voting! This version, however, has been heavily editted and expanded, since a great deal was cut out to make the fic fit the 3k word limit. The original post also included two illustrations which I have not added here, since they weren't actually drawn by me.

Icy droplets pelted metal, stone, and flesh, dulling all sound but their own staccato beat. They created their own sort of silence in the outskirts of the city, a silence born of repetitive sound.

That, the cold rain and the quiet, was what Karkat Vantas awoke to. He pondered whether the roof of his room was leaking again until he opened his eyes. He was no where near his room—he laid face-up in an alley. The sky past the worn, dirty brick on either side of him was black. It was night.

It took a few moments for Karkat to recognize the area. He was on the edges of the city, the area called Dead Man's District that had been abandoned when the zombies first attacked en masse nearly twenty years ago. That was three years before Karkat was born.

Fandom: Homestuck Rating: M Pairing(s): Jake<3Aranea, Aranea<>Meenah, Meenah<3<Jake Characters: Jake, Aranea, Meenah (mentioned) Summary: This was an entry for the 2012 HSO Bonus Round 1. The prompts were Robinsade and Black Humor.

WARNING: CANNIBALISM

"This fish is great!" Aranea smiled as she chewed, her gaze on Jake across the fire from her. He was in the process of cooking more of the fish by holding sticks with skewered chunks of the meat over the flames. The one in his hand was already nearly done. "What did you say it was again?"

Fandom: Homestuck Rating: T Pairing(s): Rose/Jade Characters: Rose, Jade Summary: This was an entry for the 2012 HSO Bonus Round 1. The prompts were Post-Apocalyptic and Urban Fantasy.

The steady patter of half a dozen footsteps behind her was getting steadily closer, and no matter how she tried, she couldn't run any faster. It was as though her limbs were weighted with lead, heavy and tired and groaning with every movement of muscle. She wanted to rest, to collapse, to give up.

Blood leaked down her side, trailing from her dress skirt and splattering on the dirty concrete behind her. It left a clear trail. Even if she did manage to get away, it would be easy for them to track her down again. A wound like that would be barely a scratch to a vampire at most times, but now, when she was already so low on blood, it only made her weaker. It made her unable to reach her heightened speed, which could easily outpace the humans in pursuit, or even her greater strength, which could give her an edge if she turned and attempted to fight. The fact was, she was hopeless. An injured wolf, barely able to fight back, that limped through this steel forest until the hunters finally caught her and put her down.

Fandom: Homestuck Rating: M Pairing(s): Vriska<3Feferi Characters: Vriska, Feferi, unnamed OC Summary: This was an entry for the 2012 HSO Bonus Round 1. The prompts were Horror and Slapstick Comedy.

WARNING: CONTAINS BLOOD AND GORE.

"I'm telling you, this is THE BEST place to make out!" Bushes and tree limbs parted at the edge of the clearing, allowing a bright eyed, grinning Vriska Serket past. With the hand not being used to hold back branches, she tightly clutched the hand of Feferi Peixes. The seadweller, if possible, looked even more excited than her companion.

"Are we finally… here…" The excited tone in her voice trailed away when she saw the scene that waited for them. Vriska, who hadn't been entirely paying attention to the familiar surroundings, finally got a good look around. When she did, she held back the urge to vomit.

Fandom: Homestuck, Transformers: Prime Rating: T Characters: Airachnid, Mindfang Summary: There was a reason that Airachnid crash landed on Earth. Part of the Circuit Breaker continuum.

The rest can be found here.

Airachnid knew that she was going to have to land and resupply her ship soon. Energon stores were getting low. Replenishing them, so that the ship could continue to function and she could continue to live, was her first priority. And she knew just where to stop.

Earth. For whatever reason, the flyspeck of a planet had several large deposits of energon. Some were quite deep in the planet's surface—not that depth had ever been an issue for her. The best thing about the planet, though, was the native species. Humans, from what she understood, were weak but resourceful. They would be entertaining to hunt and add to her collection. Her thoughts of sport, however, were cut short as she was approaching the planet's gravitational field and her ship detected an attempted transmission. She traced the signal to a ship that was much closer than she would have liked. How her scanners didn't pick it up sooner, she wasn't sure. The ship was a familiar make, but not Cybertronian design. It didn't look large enough to be carrying weapons, though. Airachnid opened the link, humoring the alien.

She recognized the organic creature on the screen. The gray skin and bright orange horns were a dead giveaway. Airachnid ground her dentas. Trolls. They were a violent, disgusting little species that bred like scraplets and spread across the galaxies, conquering all they met. Airachnid had run into them once before while hunting on another planet and discovered all she wanted to know, including the fact that they had different shades of blood. This troll looked smug, her blue lips curved with a satisfied grin. Her horns weren't symmetrical—one had a crooked tip and the other forked at the end, forming a U shape. One of the troll's eyes, Airachnid noted with revulsion, had seven black pupils instead of the usual one. Abhorrent, bizarre creatures.

"Airachnid, correct?" The troll said before Airachnid could respond. Her voice, in the former-Decepticon's mind, was a little too cordial. "The spider-like Cybertronian."

"Who's asking?" Airachnid asked. The troll smiled wider, bearing a mouth full of jagged teeth.

"Spinneret Mindfang, captain of ship 1025 of Her Imperial Condescension's Third Fleet, the Marquise," she said. "Airachnid, were you aware that the Empress had put out a bounty on your head?"

Fandom: Homestuck Rating: T Characters: Dave Strider, Jade Harley Summary: The dude was dead as a doornail. The Universe was a thorough hitman—or maybe that was just Jack. Either way, Dave was still left with the hard part.

The blood from the wound in the dead Dave's chest dripped off the edge of the metal ledge and into the lava twenty feet below, each new drop hissing and evaporating before it even had a chance to reach the molten rock. The body itself had been dropped haphazardly and allowed to fall like it was some sort of shitty attempt at playing QWOP, only the loser got stabbed in the chest instead of having his neck broken.

Previously Wizardstuck: Animagus

Fandom: Homestuck, Harry Potter Rating: T Characters: Nepeta Leijon, Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley, Terezi Pyrope Summary: When Nepeta happens to read about animagi, she naturally wants to become one. However, a little research reveals that the spell is more complicated than anything she's ever tried before. With help from her friends, and a little guidance from past students, she might just be able to perform it. A sidestory of Wizardstuck.

The rest can be read here.

It was Nepeta's intention to keep lunch short and sweet, but fate, it seemed, had slightly different plans for her. Just as she began digging into a plate of food, someone sat down beside her. She caught a glimpse of them in the corner of her eye, but before she could turn, they spoke.

"A little birdie told me that you were trying to become an animagus," a familiar voice whispered in her ear. Nepeta started with surprise before turning and giving the newcomer a quick hug. Terezi cackled in response.

"Terezi!" Nepeta exclaimed. "How did mew find out? Oh, wait, Dave?" Terezi's grin slowly widened, and she nodded once.

"He thought I might be interested," she said. "And I am. But you never once mentioned it. I thought we were friends!"

"Sorry!" Nepeta said sheepishly. "I was so excited, and it really only started yesterday. But I'm furmally inviting mew now." She paused long enough to turn on the bench and sit with one leg on each side. "Her honorable legislacerator Redglare, would you assist me in this most noble of endeavors?" She held out a hand. Terezi clasped the proffered hand in both of hers.

"Naturally, my dear purrsecutor! I shall sniff out the information you seek, and drub out its meaning with my cane!"

"Yes! It'll really be fun now!" Nepeta laughed, dropping the act. "Rose and Jade are helping, doo. I'm supposed to meet them after lunch." Terezi's expression fell slightly, but only for a moment. That was when Nepeta remembered; Terezi and Jade never really liked one another. Nepeta couldn't quite understand why, and she tended to forget about it altogether, since they weren't around one another often. "Oh, Terezi, sorry, I furgot—"

"It's fine," Terezi cut in. "I can… get along with her. I'm not surprised that she would get involved. It's her sort of thing, I suppose."

"Well, Rose suggested her, actually," Nepeta said. "She and I were doing some research in the library this morning. The spell is really complicated! It's not even just a spell—there's a potion, and, uh, arithmancy, which Rose said that Jade knew more about than she did."

"I've heard of arithmancy, but mostly from older students complaining about how difficult it was." Terezi frowned slightly. "Alright. I'll do my best to get along with her."

"Thanks, Terezi," Nepeta said with a grateful smile. The two continued to catch up as they ate, ignoring the glares from other Gryffindors. Most of them had gotten used to students from other houses coming to the table, but they still seemed to bristle whenever Terezi or Equius came over. Divisions between Gryffindor and Slytherin seemed almost impossible to break.

They finally left the Great Hall and headed for the library, a little later than Nepeta had intended. The library itself was practically empty, but Nepeta was able to lead Terezi to the spellcasting section, where Rose and Jade were waiting. Rose looked up at them with a small smile and a little surprise. Jade started to grin, but it faltered a little when she saw Terezi. The teal blood returned the look coolly, and Nepeta began to wonder if this was such a good idea.

"Terezi was interested in helping out, too," Nepeta said quickly. "I thought that, you know, the more help we get, the better."

"Of course," Rose agreed diplomatically. "Another set of eyes—or rather, another sense of smell?—would help immensely." Jade stayed silent for a moment before speaking.

"I can work with her if she promises to behave," she said as she went back to looking at her book.

"I'm always on my best behavior, Jade," Terezi replied with a sly smile. "You might just not—ow!" She scowled at Nepeta, who had elbowed her in the side. Nepeta gave her a scolding look in return. Terezi finally conceded.

"… Sorry," she said, not sounding like she meant it.

"In any case, I have found one of the other books on your list," Rose cut in. She pulled out the yellow scrap of paper and held it out to Nepeta.

"It's a note I furound in a book," Nepeta explained to Terezi as she retrieved it from Rose. "I think it was left by a group of students who tried to become animagi, too." She unfolded it and showed it to Terezi. The other troll sniffed it gingerly.

"'Moody, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs,'" she said aloud. "It certainly smells old. I wonder if they're even still alive?"

"They certainly aren't still students," Rose replied. "We may never find out who they are. In any case…" She closed the book she was holding and held it out to Nepeta. "Transfiguring the Self was in the transfiguration section, obviously. It has a lot more information than Permanent Spellcasting." She sat back down, and Terezi and Nepeta joined her. Jade, still looking a little warily at Terezi, went back to her own reading.

"There seems to be four major parts to the spell," Rose went on. "There is the spell itself, of course, and then the arithmantic circle, the celestial requirements, and finally the potion." She frowned. "Permanent Spellcasting gives us the celestial requirements, at least, and told us about the other three parts, if not much in the way of specifics. Transfiguring the Self had greater details about the spell—which, I can tell you, is more than just a waving of your wand and an incantation." She flipped open the book, which Nepeta had set down on the table top, to a page that Rose had marked with a slip of paper. The heading on the page read "Spell of the Animagus." The text underneath was extensive, Nepeta noted after flipping through pages.

"And the other two parts?" Terezi asked. "The arithmantic circle and the potion?"

"The potion is most likely in Deathly Draughts," Rose said. "There's a problem with that, though. I was unable to find the book myself, and after consulting with the librarian, I discovered that it was in the Restricted Section."

"You mean that purrart of the library that's blocked off?" Nepeta asked. Rose nodded.

"You can't even look at the books there without permission from a teacher, let alone check any out." The blonde girl looked thoughtful. "To be honest, I was expecting at least one of these books to be there, especially that one. The title alone seems to suggest it belongs there. I think, though, that I might be able to get permission to go into the Restricted Section. If I can, I can take notes on the potion."

"But who will mew ask?" Nepeta said. "And what would mew tell them?"

"Well, Professor Flitwick is the head of Ravenclaw," Rose said. "And he's taken a liking to me. I believe if I tell him that a book I read suggested to do further reading on a subject in a book in the Restricted Section, he may very well give me the needed note."

"And you are lying as little as possible," Terezi added with a sly smile. "A good tactic that too few people learn."

"I try," Rose replied with a sardonic smirk.

"So," Nepeta said, "that's the potion. What about the arithmancy stuff?"

"I'm working on it," Jade quipped. She looked over the top of her book with a smile. "The books seemed to suggest that what to do with the circle would be obvious to someone knowledgeable in arithmancy. It involves careful notations about the people involved. I've taken a few arithmancy classes already, so I'm familiar with the basics, but I'm reading about more of the specifics now."

"So you're attempting to learn a lot about a very demanding aspect of magic in a short amount of time," Terezi said. "Are you sure you can even manage that?" Nepeta noticed Jade's flinch.

"Do you have a better idea?" Jade snapped back. "When you do, I'd like to hear it." Terezi merely shrugged.

"In the meantime," Rose cut in, "we can start getting acquainted with the rest of the material. Here." She pulled Permanent Spellcasting out of her bag and set it in front of Terezi. "While Nepeta starts reading Transfiguration, you can help me find out exactly how long it will be before all these celestial alignments will match up."

"All right," Terezi conceded with a small smile. Nepeta noted it as well. It was a little funny how easily Rose slipped into the role of auspitice, whether she realized it or not. As the two walked away to another portion of the library, Nepeta only hoped that Terezi would remain as acquiescent as this venture continued.

Nepeta delved into the text, trying to make sense out of it. Her biggest problem was that it was simply hard to read. Each sentence seemed like an individual puzzle, and she had to decipher it. That made reading much longer, and by the time she was done with a single page, she was ready for a break. She set the book down and looked around.

Jade was still there reading, but Terezi and Rose had yet to return. As she watched Jade read with an attentive expression, Nepeta began to feel guilty. Jade and Terezi usually simply avoided one another, but Nepeta had forcibly brought them together, and of course Terezi couldn't quite contain herself.

"Sorry," Nepeta said aloud. Jade started and looked up.

"What?" She said. "What for?"

"Just, Terezi," Nepeta replied. Jade blinked.

"No, uh, it's okay! I know she's your friend, so I have to just get over it!" Jade said, perhaps a little too cheerily. "And she hasn't been… so bad, I guess."

"If you don't mind me asking," Nepeta said, "why don't you like her?" Jade stayed silent, and, for a moment, Nepeta thought she was going to refuse to talk about it. Then, she gave a tired shrug.

"Mostly, I don't think she likes me," Jade said. "Dave introduced us, and I just sort of felt like she had something against me since then. She teases me whenever she gets a chance and makes rude comments."

"That's kind of just what she does," Nepeta said. "Don't take it purrsonally. But Rose and I will make sure she doesn't get too out of paw." Jade nodded.

"Thanks," she replied. "I'll try to… not take offense, too. If she and I could get along better, it would probably make things easier for Dave and Karkat, too." Nepeta nodded. She had heard Dave complaining about the fact that Jade and Terezi couldn't get along, but she wasn't going to say anything about that.

"But," Nepeta said, "what do you think about this spell?"

"It's really complicated," Jade replied. "I didn't even know that spells could take this much preparation and thought!"

"It might be because we aren't fur enough in our classes to have come across any," Nepeta said. "Maybe in our seventh year?"

"Maybe," Jade said. "But I wonder what we'll change into? Do we choose?"

"I don't know!" Nepeta said. "But I hope so. That would be really great. I'd love to be a cat!" Jade nodded.

"I'm kind of hoping for a dog." She said. "Maybe like Bec. I really miss him."

"Yeah," Nepeta said. "I miss Pounce, too."

"Well, talking isn't getting us any closer to figuring all this out," Jade said. "Let's get back to reading before we have to leave for class." Nepeta nodded and went back to her book.

It wasn't much later that Rose and Terezi both came back. Rose looked somber, and even Terezi's grin was a little subdued.

"Is the wait that long?" Nepeta asked. "Will we be able to do this befur our seventh year?"

Rose sighed. "It's not that it's too far away. It's too soon."

"We've got less than a month," Terezi added.

"A month?" Nepeta said, incredulous. "Can we even be ready in a month? When's the next time we can do it after that?"

"The next alignment isn't for a year," Rose replied.

Fandom: Homestuck, Transformers: Prime Rating: T Characters: Jade Harley, Dave Strider, John Egbert, Everyone from TFP Summary: Change is an inescapable part of life. For many, it is a matter of changing schools, meeting new people, or finding a new job. For Jade Harley, it means a bunch of giant robots arriving on her island and accidentally taking a portal to Jasper, Nevada.

The rest can be found here.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is the last chapter of the first section of the story. The next section will actually be written by my co-author, but I'll post notifications when she posts chapters on AO3.

Chapter Seven: Putting Together the Pieces

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

EB: jade? EB: oh thank god you're on. GG: what is it john? GG: i thought youd be asleep by now! EB: haha, yeah, me too! EB: but listen, i got taken hostage by these giant robots, and one of them said you shot him in the face! GG: oh nooooooo GG: john how did you get captured by decepticons??? EB: decepticons? whoa, they sound kind of cool. GG: no theyre not cool! theyre mean and they are the ones that destroyed my house >:( GG: especially the one i shot! EB: hey, i'm not arguing! hostage, remember? EB: i mean i sort of got away. half way away. GG: how do you only get halfway away? EB: well, they tried keeping me hostage with these weird handcuff things, but they weren't really small enough for me and i was able to slip out. EB: so now i'm in the vents of their base or whatever. i think we took this weird green portal to get here, so i have no idea where i am. GG: im pretty sure that the only base the decepticons have is their ship :( EB: like a space ship? that's kind of awesome! GG: and really hard to escape from!! D: GG: but i think i have an idea… EB: what? GG: well its sort of complicated GG: just when i tell you to jump through another green portal make sure to do it! EB: uh, ok! EB: but how do you know so much? and what's with the portal? GG: it has to do with why im in nevada! GG: long story short i am living with the autobots who are the decepticons enemies GG: they are also giant robots EB: i guess that makes as much sense as anything else right now. GG: anyway just stay away from the decepticons for as long as you can ok? GG: it is going to take a while to set things up on this side EB: ok, i'll stay in the vents for now. no one can follow me in here! GG: just be careful! GG: im going to go but stay connected so that i can tell you when to look for the portal EB: alright!

John sighed as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. He'd almost forgotten he'd even had it until he got a call from his dad after walking past a few bends in the vents. He'd had to lie, of course, about why he was so late in calling back, but once he'd gotten off the phone, he was able to start pestering Jade. Luckily, Jade knew more of what was going on than he did, and she was going to get him help. Or a portal, which was as good as help.

He briefly considered chatting with Dave, but he didn't know what Dave knew about all this, or how much of it was a secret Jade was trying to keep. Although, Dave had said that he had checked out what was going on with Jade…

John shook his head. Anyway, he was too antsy to sit and talk. He didn't know how long it would take for them to find out he was gone, and he wanted to be as far away as he could. He'd sat down in a corner to talk to Jade, but he stood now and started walking quickly.

He still had his phone out to see by, but even with it, he couldn't make out much in the darkness. He took every turn he came across and tried to remember them all, but he soon gave up. Maybe, he thought, if he got himself thoroughly lost, no one else would be able to find him, either.

At some point, he realized that the vents were gently sloping up. They angled upwards more sharply at one point, and John nearly decided to go back and find a different route, until he noticed a patch of light at the top. It was the first illumination he'd seen since coming into the vent, so he began climbing towards it.

The slope made the going tough. He crawled most of the way up on hands and knees to keep traction and try not to make too much noise. He eventually reached the top, panting quietly. The opening that let in the light was only a little farther away, so he sat down next to it.

It was nice to be able to actually see again, but he flinched away from the light when he saw something moving in the room below. Then, he heard nearly silent metal footsteps. Slowly, John turned to look through the vent.

The grate in this room was much higher on the wall than the one in the hall. He could look down upon the room's occupants, even though they were both robots.

The first robot he noticed was one laid out on a metal slab. He was all red, aside from his yellow chest plate, and he appeared to be sleeping. His eyes were closed, at least. He (John had decided he looked pretty masculine) was also hooked up to tubes and wires that trailed away to meet a set of computers. He looked a lot like a very sick patient in John's mind. It surprised him a little. It seemed almost bizarre that robots could get sick, but then, computers could get viruses. Also, a little strangely, John saw that he had a symbol on his chest plate. It was sort of like a stylized face. His attention was drawn away from it when he saw the second robot move towards the first.

Its back was to John at first, as if it was doing something on the computers. It was dark purple, with broad, almost wing-like arms, but deft fingers. John guessed that it was a doctor, or maybe a nurse.

The doctor robot turned slowly, and when it did, John saw that in the place of its face was a shiny black surface. John wasn't sure if it was some kind of mask or shield, or if maybe the robot simply didn't have a face at all. It stalked over to the patient quietly, and if the room hadn't been silent except for the whir of computers, John was sure that he wouldn't have been able to hear it at all. It came to stand beside the sleeping robot and, gently, lifted a hand to run across the sleeping robot's cheek. John's eyes slowly widened. The action couldn't be interpreted as anything other than intimate, which boggled John's mind. Intimate robots? Could that really be a thing? Apparently, it was. The scene suddenly took on a very different meaning. It was like a movie where the talented doctor was racing against time to discover the cure for his wife's terrible illness—except, robots. Also, the wife was a husband. Was the doctor a girl? Or could robots be homosexual? John didn't know, and it didn't seem like the best time to ask. Regardless, something about it seemed to scream "photo opportunity." If nothing else, maybe he could joke with Dave about it being Robot General Hospital? He suppressed a giggle at that. He pulled out his phone and quickly snapped a picture.

Of course, he'd forgotten that his phone made noise whenever he took a picture. He froze, unsure if they could hear him or not. Luck wasn't with him that day. The doctor robot's head snapped up, and even though John couldn't see its eyes, if it even had any, he knew it saw him. He stood transfixed for a moment, and it hit him that this robot, for all that it was caring for this other one, was still his enemy. Then, a silver plate on the doctor robot's chest detached and flew at the grate. John choked back a scream and stumbled away before turning and running through the vents.

Even as he ran, John heard the grate being ripped open and something scrabbling its way inside. John kept running as fast as he could, but he was already getting tired. He needed sleep, and his body still ached from the crash. Adrenaline was giving him a boost, but he'd need to rest soon. He was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of Pesterchum alerting him to a message. At least now it didn't matter if he made noise. He pulled out his phone quickly and glanced at the message, glad to see it was Jade.

GG: ok john were ready! GG: you need to stay still for a moment so raf can track your phone signal GG: john? EB: uh, that's a little hard right now! EB: i'm kind of running for my life!

"Raf!" Jade said, looking towards the boy. He was sitting on the floor in his pajamas, his hair a mess, but he was typing away on his laptop. A black cord connected it to Jade's lunchtop. Bumblebee had picked him up and brought him back to the base so that he could trace the signal from John's phone and use the coordinates in the ground bridge. "John's running from something," Jade went on. "He can't stay still!"

"Okay," the young boy said, never once stopping typing or looking away from his screen. "Just a moment…" Jade waited impatiently as the seconds ticked by, before finally Raf nodded. "He'll be running towards these coordinates. I'm sending them to Ratchet." He hit one more key, and an envelope instantly appeared on the center of the monitor of the base's computers.

"Got it," Ratchet said.

"Okay!" Jade replied.

GG: thats ok! we messed with things on our end GG: youll be coming to a green portal GG: just jump through it! EB: ok

John was breathing heavily now. He was trying to pay attention to Jade's messages, but it was hard, and he was slowing down. Worse yet, the clacking of metal on metal of the robot thing following him was getting closer. He chanced a glance back, and his heart nearly stopped. It was closer than he thought. It was vaguely bird-like, but it was hunched over to maneuver in the vents, scrabbling forward on metal wings. What really terrified him, though, were the tentacles. Mechanical tentacles with clawed ends snaked towards him. He turned forward again, trying to get an extra burst of speed.

And then, the green portal like the one Knockout had dragged him through opened up. John leaped for it and into it—just as a tentacle closed its claws around his chest. He screamed in pain as the metal clenched his bruised chest, and when his feet hit the ground, his knees gave way. The tentacle started to pull him back, and he let it. The pain and exhaustion was too much. He couldn't fight anymore.

A pair of hands, human hands, grabbed his arm and pulled back against the tentacles.

"John!" A girl's voice yelled in his ear. "C'mon, John! Don't give up!" Grudgingly, and with the help of the hands, John pushed against the claws and stood. Every inch was agony, and the pulling seemed nearly impossible, but with help, he could make it. He flinched when he heard metallic footsteps, positive that one of the robots had followed him, but instead, the pulling on his chest lessened.

"I've got it," an older, masculine voice said. "Arcee! Pull the switch!" All at once, the green light faded. John carefully opened his eyes, but it was a struggle. He was so exhausted, they didn't want to stay open. A familiar face, a human one, met his gaze. Jade smiled broadly at him.

"You made it, John!" She said. "You're safe!"

"Yeah," he answered tiredly and looked behind him. A robot, white and orange, stood there, gazing down at the severed end of the tentacle that still gripped his chest.

"Soundwave," he said with the same voice that had spoken before. "You're lucky to have made it over, human." By this point, black was surrounding John's vision, turning into a tunnel of light that was steadily shrinking. He was going to pass out. He tried to say something, but his mouth wouldn't work right, so he quit trying. He closed his eyes and fell backwards into blissful darkness.

---

"I think he's waking up." That was the first thing John heard as he drifted back to wakefulness. The voice was feminine, but not one he recognized. It was older, deeper than Jade's. Kind of… motherly. He opened his eyes to nothing but fuzzy shapes. Someone had taken off his glasses. He started to lift an arm to reach for them on his bedside table, but then the recognition of where he was fully clicked. One of the shapes moved.

"Here." That was Jade. He felt the glasses being set on his nose, and suddenly, the world cleared up. He found himself facing a dark haired woman in nurse's scrubs, and Jade was standing beside her, smiling. What startled John was behind them: three robots. One was the white and orange one he'd seen behind him after getting through the portal, and the other two, one blue and red and the other a smaller blue one, he didn't recognize at all. Regardless, they frightened him. After everything that had happened with the robots that kidnapped him, he didn't want to see any more. He yelped in surprise and tried to push himself away, only to realize he was on a gurney and nearly pushed himself off. The woman and Jade rushed forward to steady him.

"What's wrong?" Jade asked.

"Robots!" John exclaimed. "Oh god, they followed me here!"

"No, John, you're fine!" Jade grabbed his hand. "They're friends of mine. They're not Decepticons!" Slowly, John calmed down.

"Decept—oh, right." He shook his head slightly. "You told me that was what they were called. The ones that held me captive. Then these guys are—"

"Autobots," the blue and red one finished for him. Its, or rather, his voice was deep. "We are enemies of the Decepticons—and friends of mankind." John was hesitant, but he nodded. In any case, they had helped him, and Jade trusted them, so he was inclined to as well. He lifted a hand to his head, trying to stave off a headache, only to notice his arms were covered in bandages.

"You cut your arms," the woman said. "My name is June, by the way. I'm a nurse, and my son, Jack, is a friend of the Autobots. When you collapsed, they brought me here to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm just… tired," John said. "All this confusing stuff about robots that are and aren't good is only making it worse. Can you just, like, start from the beginning? Like with why you are here in the first place?" This he addressed to the red and blue robot. To John, at least, he seemed like the leader. The robot nodded.

The red and blue Autobot, Optimus, introduced John to each of the other Autobots, which, John noticed, there weren't very many of, even though two more than he had originally noticed were in the room. Optimus explained the war, started by Megatron and his Decepticons, and how it finally came to Earth. Jade gave her own explanations, about how she came to be at the Autobot base, how Dave came to see her. Finally, John gave his story of the crash and resulting kidnapping.

"That explains your bruises and cuts," June said. "I was afraid the Decepticons had done that to you."

"They might have, given a chance," John replied. "They locked me up in what looked some kind of like a torture room."

"Oh, John, I'm so sorry!" Jade clasped his hand in both of hers, looking close to tears. "I wanted to keep you out of all this, and look what happened instead!"

"It's not your fault!" John assured her, and then laughed, if forcedly. "If we didn't look so weirdly similar, this wouldn't have happened at all!" He smiled, and she halfheartedly smiled back.

"Anyway," she said, "rest for a bit longer. I've got to go tell Dave what happened. He'll probably want to come see you, too."

"He'd better!" John said with a laugh. "With flowers, and a get well soon card!" Jade giggled.

"I'll tell him, but there's no guarantee!" She said as she walked away.

"John." John looked up as Optimus said his name. The other Autobots had trailed off, too, leaving just June and the Autobot leader with him. "After some thought, I believe it would be best if you stayed here at the Autobot base with use for a time."

"Why?" John asked. "I mean, I'm not driving home immediately, not with my car wrecked, but how long do you mean?"

"At least until your injuries have healed," Optimus said, and June nodded. "I fear that the Decepticons will continue to target you, and I don't have an Autobot to spare to look after you in Washington." John sighed.

"Yeah, though I'm not sure what I'm going to tell my dad."

"We'll think of something," Optimus said.

"By the way," John asked as something occurred to him, "how do you tell an Autobot from a Decepticon, anyway? I mean, other than just recognizing them as one or the other."

"We both wear specific insignias of our alignment," Optimus replied. He turned, showing John the face symbol embossed on his shoulder. "This is the Autobot insignia. The Decepticon insignia is different." John stared at it for a long moment.

"But… I saw a Decepticon with that symbol back in their base place," John said curiously. Optimus stared.

"What?" He asked. "Tell me what you saw." John blinked, surprised by Optimus's sudden forcefulness.

"I took a picture, actually," John said as he took out his phone. He showed it to Optimus, and the Autobot's expression hardened.

Fandom: Homestuck Rating: T Characters: Dirk Strider Summary: The words are succinct. Perfect for the occasion, in your own opinion.

The steady drip of blood from the severed head under your arm strikes a staccato on the pavement as you float. Plip, plop, plip, plop, it's somehow precise, like a beat, and you feel like you could rap to it. More blood soaks into the Derse pajama things you're wearing, leaving behind a cloying stickiness on your side, but it's easier to ignore that. It's just a feeling you can push away, not an echoing tattoo that fills your ears.

The Dersites are silent. You know they're following you past the amethyst towers and through the violet streets—fuck, you can see them, hordes of them, not talking or laughing or even acting disgusted by the head you're carrying. Their faces have no expression, just a staring, wide-eyed countenance.

You finally reach your destination with the head still dripping and the crowd still silent. It's easier than you expected to pull the flagpole from its base, and you lift it high. That, finally, catches their attentions. The expressions of the Dersites changes a little in shock and awe, like they think you're raising the pole to rally them to fight or something, and you wonder how they'll react to what you're about to do next.

You slice the flag from the pole, so quick that, to the audience, it probably looked like it fell off on its own. There is a collective gasp. It's almost deafening, after near silence and from the sheer number of Dersites, but you aren't done yet. You lower the tip of the now-flagless staff, take the head you've been carrying all along, and pierce it straight through with the staff. It gives a wet shlick as it punctures the hard carapace on the top of the head, and more blood splatters your shirt and the ground, bright crimson against the purple. You think it's a color that suits you a little better, anyway.

You pull out your informal declaration of war and skewer that as well. You can't help a smug smirk as you fit the pole back in place, blood dripping down from the head and coating your hands. The words are succinct. Perfect for the occasion, in your own opinion. You can see them as you float upwards, bright orange and vibrant.

Fandom: Homestuck, Transformers: Prime Rating: T Characters: Jade Harley, Dave Strider, John Egbert, Everyone from TFP Summary: Change is an inescapable part of life. For many, it is a matter of changing schools, meeting new people, or finding a new job. For Jade Harley, it means a bunch of giant robots arriving on her island and accidentally taking a portal to Jasper, Nevada.

The rest can be found here.

Chapter Six: Never Drive At Night (Or You'll Get Captured By Decepticons)

Night had fallen on the desert landscape, and John Egbert was still at least an hour out of the Nevada city with the Holiday Inn where his dad had booked him a room. He probably shouldn't have tried to get in so much driving in one day, especially when he was known for driving carefully (not slowly!). He was dead tired, and the darkness sure as heck wasn't helping. He barely noticed the monolithic shadows of rocks or the silhouettes of cacti along either side of him as he drove, getting slowly closer to the smudge of light on the horizon that was his destination.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if the douchebag behind him would turn off his brights and finally pass him. It was too dark to even tell who might be in the car or what color it was, but it had been following John for several miles, and in all that time they hadn't passed another car going in the opposite direction. John had actually slowed down some in an attempt to get the guy to pass, but no such luck. He simply stayed there, his front bumper appearing to be glued to John's rear.

Okay, so maybe John was a little irritable when he was tired. It happened to the best of people.

Truth be told, he was pretty excited. After all, he would be seeing Jade for the first time tomorrow. However, he was too tired to be as excited as he was earlier in the day, and now all he wanted was a bed to sleep in. And this guy wouldn't get off his ass.

"Jackass," John hissed. He'd no sooner said it than finally, FINALLY, the guy started to pull over into the other lane. John took his foot off the pedal then, hoping to get the guy past him sooner, but instead, the other car simply pulled up along side him. John got a slightly better look at it from that direction: it was a sports car, definitely, and a nice one. It was still too dark to really see the color, though. Not matter how much he slowed down, the other car stayed even with him. Starting to feel a little worried, John sped up instead, but the sports car remained even then as well. Then, it decided to inch closer to him.

The other car was trying to push him off the road. That was the only conclusion that John could come to as it continued to rush closer, threatening to collide. He did the only thing that immediately came to mind—unfortunately, that was also exactly what the other driver wanted him to do. He drove off the road.

The area next to the road was little more than parched dirt and dust, scattered with the occasional, and mostly dead, plant. John only really noticed the latter when he ran them over because of the sound of dead branches scratching along his car. However, he wasn't particularly worried about those. He was more worried about the fact that the car was still sliding towards him. The same frantic thoughts kept running through his head, that this person was part of a gang and that they were running him off the road to rob him and kill him and rape him or something, and that this whole idea had been horrible. Why did he decide to go on this road trip again? What was wrong with him? He couldn't think of anything else to do, any better method of evasion, so he continued driving out into the desert wilderness.

Then, almost as suddenly as the other car began threatening to run into him, it left off. John was still able to follow the path of its headlights as it let him draw ahead. He tried to take the opportunity to turn back towards the road, but he didn't see the cactus until he drove straight into it. John didn't realize just how sturdy cacti were—this one was big enough to be like hitting a tree. John jerked forward, straining against the seat belt and feeling like he'd been socked in the chest. A second later, the airbag popped open and smashed into his face. The wind shield cracked on impact, and all it took was the force of an upper branch of the cactus falling to shatter it. John threw up his arms just as shards of glass rained down from above, some tearing bloody gashes on his arms and face. Finally, everything settled. John was left feeling battered and bruised, and his car was probably totaled, but at least he was still alive. Then, amongst the tinkling of glass on the floor, John heard the sound of huge footsteps.

They weren't just footsteps—there was on odd, mechanical whirring along with it, like some kind of giant mechanized contraption. John glanced at the rearview mirror to see a pair of robotic legs standing just behind his car. Less than a second later, a matching robot hand came smashing down on the front of his already severely abused car. Another snaked its fingers into the hole left by the shattered windshield and yanked the top of the car upwards, tearing it away with a deafening screech of metal. John could do little more than look upwards in shock into the glowing red eyes of the robot towering above him. It grinned with what John couldn't describe as anything other than malicious glee, but slowly, the smirk subsided. Before John could react, the robot plucked him out of the car. The seat belt that had stopped him from flying through the wind shield was hardly helpful when he was being pulled upward. The robot brought him up to face level.

"You're not the human I was looking for," it said.

"I… what?" John replied. The robot gave him a scathing look.

"I said, you're not the human I was looking for. You look a lot like her, but you're not even female." He, for the robot certainly sounded male, continued to stare at him for a moment, as though analyzing him. "Your hair isn't long enough, either, and your optic magnifiers are the wrong shape, but your face is very similar," he added. "Also, you don't have a gun." He glared at John as if it was somehow his fault. John, however, was more interested in the description.

"That sounds like my friend Jade! How do you know her?" He asked excitedly.

"She shot my face," the robot replied angrily.

"Oh," John said, all excitement gone. If Jade had been fighting this robot, then…

"But you know her, don't you?" The robot said. Slowly, a sly smile spread across his face. "And when one of Optimus's pet humans is squealing in his audio receptors, he'll do just about anything for them. Maybe I won't kill you after all."

"You were going to kill me?" John asked, his voice suddenly high pitched with fear.

"Quiet, human, or might change my mind," the robot snapped back. Then, as though addressing someone else, he said, "Steve, open up a bridge to my location. I've found something… interesting." A few seconds later, to John's amazement, a huge portal, swirling green and white and blue, opened up in front of them. The robot, by comparison, didn't seem amazed at all. From the light of the portal, John could see more of the robot's features. He was mostly red, and on his chest plate was a pair of headlights, which finally drove home to John the fact that the car that had been following him was this robot. That was all he had time to notice before the robot stepped, with John in tow, into the portal.

The vortex of light seemed to close up behind them. It was hard to get a real good look around, since the robot was holding him around his middle and he couldn't exactly turn, but John could tell that much. A speck of darkness opened before them and grew gradually larger until the robot was stepping out of the portal entirely and into a metal room. There were stark lights above them, but to John, after the brightness of the portal, it looked bleak and depressing. Monitors displaying figures that John couldn't begin to understand glowed gently, but most of John's attention was focused on yet another robot slinking towards them. In comparison to the robot that captured him, mostly red with broad shoulders, this one was lanky, looking almost sinister. It was more silver, and, John noticed, it looked as though it had high heels. John thought it might be a girl robot, if that was even possible, until it spoke.

"Your object of interest is a human, Knockout?" The voice was almost grating to John's ears, but it was certainly masculine. "Don't tell me that you think keeping fleshlings around like the Autobots will give us an edge over them." The comment was mocking, and the way the new robot stared at him certainly didn't make John feel any safer.

"Hardly," Knockout replied. "It's a 'friend' of one of the Autobots' pests. It seems to me that we can use it as leverage."

"How do you know that it is?" The other snapped back.

"It told me," Knockout replied. "Does it look like it's able to come up with a good lie? It's terrified." The second robot bent down closer to John, his face only a foot away. John didn't try to hide his terror, hoping that maybe that would convince them he was being truthful.

"I suppose not," the robot said, pulling away. John heaved a mental sigh of relief. "But have it locked up. I'll see exactly what it knows, once I have a chance to talk to Optimus."

"Of course, Starscream," Knockout replied with a mock bow. "But shouldn't you consult Lord Megatron before acting?" Starscream scowled.

"You'll mind your own business, Knockout, and keep this finding between you and me. This is my chance to renew my favor with Megatron." Knockout simply chuckled darkly as he carried John away and down the hall, like he doubted that Starscream had much chance in that. Whoever Megatron was.

The two eventually entered a nearly empty room. It was only dimly lit, with an array of what looked like heavy metal bracelets, among other not so pleasant-looking things, set out on a long table. Knockout picked up the smallest pair and said, curtly, "Hold your arms out." John, deciding that playing along would do him more good than struggling, obliged. Knockout snapped the metal bracelets, which John finally realized were actually handcuffs, over his wrists, but the robot scowled.

"You humans have scrawny wrists, but they ought to hold," he said. He carried John over to a pair of strange electrical-looking devices hanging from the ceiling. He held John up, and, almost immediately, blue electricity shot out of them and seized the cuffs, leaving John hanging up in the air by his arms. John flinched from the pain in his shoulders, but he did his best to stay silent. Knockout didn't miss the expression, though.

"Comfortable?" He asked sarcastically. "Just wait until Starscream comes to see you. He'll make sure you're very comfortable." He laughed sadistically as he turned away and left through the automatic doorway. John didn't like the sound of it, any more than he liked the look of the tools lying out on the table with the handcuffs. They looked like torture devices. And Starscream had said that he would "see exactly what it knows." John needed to escape this room before that.

He started with just one wrist. Like Knockout had said, the cuffs were still pretty loose. They may have been made for slender-wristed robots, but definitely not humans. It didn't take much wriggling before he got one free. Doing so apparently broke the circuit for the electrical chains; he fell, handcuffs and all, to the ground below. It was a long drop, but thankfully nothing he couldn't survive. John fell on his backside, and though he was quite sure he'd have a bruise there, he could get up and walk. He slid the remaining cuff off his other wrist and began to search the room.

There was nothing else but the table and the door, and, while it would have been nice to grab one of the devices off the table to use as a weapon, it was too high for him to reach. It was an odd situation, not being able to reach the top of a table, and one John hadn't thought he'd ever find himself in. Luckily, walking up to the automatic door still opened it, so he slinked out into the hallway.

No one was coming from either direction. He stepped carefully, trying make as little noise as possible, as he searched for a place to hide or, even better, a place to use to escape from. He came to a turn, but, when he glanced around the corner, he saw a pair of matching purple robots walking briskly towards him. He pulled away quickly and looked frantically for a place to hide, but there was none near by—until he caught sight of a grate. The grate, John reasoned, had to lead to a vent. He scampered towards it, only to find that the slots in the grate were fairly small. They seemed just big enough for him to fit through, but it was hard to tell exactly. He didn't have time to guesstimate, so he pushed his head in.

It was a tight fit, but he just made it. As soon as he had squeezed through, he heard the heavy footsteps of the robots turning the corner and walking past. He sighed with relief and then took a better look at where he found himself.

It was a vent alright, a long metal vent. There were no lights of any kind farther in, but it seemed safer to John than the hallways, where he could run into more robots. The only things he could think of that might be running around in vents were mice or rats, and since he wasn't sure where exactly he was, he didn't know if either were possible. Maybe robotic rodents? He hoped not. That would be strange, and a little scary. Regardless, he had to keep moving. Pulling out his phone to use as a light source and keeping one hand on the metal wall, John began his trek through the depths of the vent system.

---

Jade awoke suddenly to an incessant beeping noise. She sat up immediately in her makeshift bed on the couch, knocking over her squiddle plush as she instinctively reached for her gun. She looked around blearily, trying to find the source of the noise, before it finally occurred to her to put on her glasses.

The alarm was coming from the monitors. On the screen was an image of an African American man that Jade didn't recognize. Ratchet, though, who still seemed to be awake (or at least woken up by the alarm like she was) appeared to know him. He pressed a button and spoke irritably.

"What do you want, Agent Fowler?" Jade recognized that name. Didn't Optimus say that Agent Fowler was the guy from the FBI that was in contact with the Autobots?

"What I want is for you to deal with these 'Cons!" A voice snapped back. "We've got an issue. They've kidnapped someone.

"What?!" Ratchet exclaimed. "A human? Who?"

"They don't say," said Fowler. "We only found out because of a one-way transmission they sent to us. They said that the kid's a friend of one of your kids. And if you don't contact them ASAP, they'll kill whoever it is."

"Scrap!" Ratchet pounded a fist on the control panel. "I'll get Optimus online. We'll deal with this.

"You have to," Fowler replied darkly. "We've already tried to make contact, but they won't give us the time of day. Keep me posted." The communication disconnected, and Ratchet rushed away. Jade was fairly sure he didn't even realize that she was awake, let alone that she'd heard the exchange. She laid her gun across her lap and huddled in her blankets, feeling useless. Who did the Decepticons have? One of the other kids' friends? Or one of hers? She immediately thought of Dave. He was the only one who knew about the Transformers, after all. She pulled out her lunchtop.

Jade found that Dave was online and fine at home in Texas. Ratchet had come back with Optimus and the other Autobots by that time.

"It's not Dave," she said as they did, and Optimus nodded.

"That was my fear, but it is good that he is safe," Optimus replied. Then, they began to speak amongst one another, and Jade focused on her conversation with Dave.

TG: man i pity the idiot that got picked up by the evil gundams TG: they sounded like bad news GG: evil gundams? GG: but yeah i hope theyre alright! id hate to hear that the decepticons did something awful TG: yeah TG: hey speaking of idiots TG: have you heard from john yet tonight GG: oh! no not at all GG: but you said he was coming? TG: yeah and he said he would text me when he got to the hotel TG: but he hasnt yet GG: really? its super late! TG: yeah but he probably fell straight asleep after driving all day

Jade was about to respond when she heard a voice she didn't recognize. When she looked up, she found Optimus staring intently at one of the monitors. It was there that the coarse voice was coming from.

"Optimus," it drawled. "So the humans sent my message to you?"

"Yes, Starscream," Optimus replied. "Who is the human you claim to have captured?

"Hah, you expect me to know the human's name?" The Decepticon replied haughtily. "He has dark hair and those optic magnifiers that so many of those humans wear. That's all I can tell you." Jade's heart dropped into her stomach at that comment. That sounded a little like…

"What do you want in return?" Optimus asked.

"You." There was no mistaking the demand. "Contact me again in three hours. If you do, we'll discuss our rendezvous point. If you don't, I'll kill the human. It's all quite simple, Optimus."

"And what do you need three hours for?" Optimus snapped back.

"To interrogate the human, of course." There was too much humor in Starscream's voice for Jade. She swallowed dryly. The communication cut off.

"Slag!" Arcee growled. "He's going to torture him, that sick—"

"Calm down, Arcee," Optimus said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She seemed to calm slightly, but her hands were still clenched into fists. "He said he would not kill the human if we conceded with his demands. In the mean time, we can try to stage a rescue."

"A rescue?" Ratchet scoffed. "We don't even know who the human is! Or if there is one!" At that moment, Jade got a new message on Pesterchum. It wasn't from Dave, she noted with surprise, but from John.

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

EB: jade? EB: oh thank god you're on. GG: what is it john? GG: i thought youd be asleep by now! EB: haha, yeah, me too! EB: but listen. i got taken hostage by these giant robots, and one of them said you shot him in the face!

"John," Jade whispered, the obviousness of his statement hitting her all at once. Of course none of them had heard from him! And worse yet, he had no idea how much trouble he was in.

Fandom: Homestuck, Transformers: Prime Rating: T Characters: Jade Harley, Dave Strider, Everyone from TFP Summary: Change is an inescapable part of life. For many, it is a matter of changing schools, meeting new people, or finding a new job. For Jade Harley, it means a bunch of giant robots arriving on her island and accidentally taking a portal to Jasper, Nevada.

The rest can be found here.

Chapter Five: Enter the Coolkid

Dave Strider pushed his chair away from his desktop computer as the green name illuminated on his chumroll faded to gray. He carefully slipped the shades on his face away from his eyes long enough to rub them tiredly. Finally, FINALLY Jade decided to get back online, and then she started spouting cryptic bullshit about being suddenly in Nevada, and that she couldn't tell him why because it "wasn't her secret to tell."

No. That wasn't even what bothered him the most. What really irritated him was the fact that he didn't know who these "nice people" were, or how "nice" they might actually be. He wanted to find out who the "mean people" who fucked up her house were, too, so that he could kick their asses, but that was less imperative. No, what really bothered him was that he didn't know if she was really safe, or if she just thought she was.

Without really thinking, Dave scooted closer to his computer again and started looking up how to reach Jasper, Nevada from Houston. It wasn't too bad of a drive. It would take seventeen hours to get there and back, and he—well, he had the money for gas now. He'd been saving, along with John and Rose, every penny he could for the last three years in hopes of making enough between them to take a plane or a boat out to that island, grab Jade, and bring her back to civilization. Namely, the US.

Even after so long, they weren't anywhere near their goal, but that was a moot point. For whatever reason, Jade was in Nevada now, and Nevada was a hell of a lot more easily accessible than a remote island in the Pacific. Dave had the means to get to Nevada. He printed out the Map Quest directions. He'd have to skip school, but that wasn't a big deal.

Bro had understood his plans even better than Dave had expected him to. In spite of his general lax attitude, he'd always been a hardass when it came to school. To Dave's surprise, he'd even offered to call Dave in sick.

"If it wasn't important, you wouldn't have asked," Bro had said. "Now, if I find out you actually went to Las Vegas, I'll kick your ass for not bringing me along." As a result, Dave was able to leave the next day.

Dave didn't tell Jade anything about his plans. He wanted to surprise her, but he was also afraid she would set things up so that he couldn't meet her "friends " if he told her. It would also likely mean he'd have to search for her, but he was prepared for that.

Although he'd left pretty early in the morning, it wasn't until late in the evening that he finally reached Jasper. It was all he could do, after a day of driving, to find a cheap motel and crash for the night. The next morning, he renewed his search. Unfortunately, Jasper was a small town. Even on a Saturday morning, it was pretty quiet. He found a school, some various shops, a grocery store, and a burger joint that somehow hadn't gotten bought out by McDonalds or Burger King yet. There were houses, too, but Dave didn't see much point in lingering around those. Jade had said she lived near Jasper, not in. Finally, he bit the bullet and pulled into KO burger. He pulled out his phone, planning to message her on Pesterchum, only to find that she wasn't on.

"Dammit," he hissed, sitting back in the seat. "What am I supposed to do, sit around in the truck until she decides to get on?" He waited for a few seconds for inspiration to hit him (or for Jade to miraculously get on), but neither happened. Instead, his attention was caught by the guy leaving the restaurant. He looked to be about Dave's age, wearing the uniform of the restaurant. He was just an average employee. What Dave primarily noticed, though, was that the guy was walking towards a motorcycle. A pretty sweet motorcycle, truth be told, though Dave would have gone for red and black instead of blue and pink.

That was when it occurred to Dave that it wouldn't hurt to ask about Jade. If she knew Jasper was here, even if she didn't live here, some of the locals might know who she was. At the least, they might recognize a description of her. As the kid was pulling off an apron, Dave hopped out of the truck, stuck his hands in his pockets, and started to walk over.

"Hey," he said. The other boy started, pulling off the rest of the apron. He watched Dave uneasily.

"Uh, hi," he said in response.

"You know a girl named Jade Harley?" Dave asked. "Long black hair, green eyes, big glasses, natural tan. Ring a bell?" He noted that the other boy's eyes widened a little in recognition when Dave gave her name and description, but then he looked away.

"Sorry," the other boy said. "Never heard of her." He clenched the apron in his fist and threw one leg over the bike, obviously intending to drive away. He couldn't see it, but Dave's eyes were narrowed behind the shades. Dave covered the distance between them (just a few feet, no big deal) in less than half a second and put a hand on one of the handle bars. The boy looked up at him in shock.

"And you're a terrible liar," Dave said in a deadpan voice. "Where is she?"

"I told you, I have no idea who you're talking about," the boy growled back. "So hands off the bike!" Grudgingly, Dave released his grip, but he was far from done.

"I'm a friend of hers," he said carefully. "Dave Strider. Ask her, and she'll verify it. I just want to make sure she's okay."

"That's nice, but I don't—" the boy started to say, but he was cut off by the squeal of tires. They both whirled as a green SUV swerved suddenly into the parking lot, skidding across the pavement. Dave raised an eyebrow, but a glance at the other kid told him what he needed to know. The kid recognized the car.

The SUV drove in a wide loop until it came to a quick stop almost directly in front of them. As soon as it did, the back door burst open, and a black and green blur all but tackled Dave.

"Dave!" Jade screeched, wrapping both arms around his chest and gave him a bear hug, in spite of being a good head shorter.

"Sup, Jade," he managed to gasp out with his remaining air. He stepped back and finally got a good look at her.

She was better cleaned up than what he remembered from the webcam pictures and the frequent Skype calls. Her hair was a hell of a lot shorter, for one, and the bright Nevada sun brought out the streaks of green like nothing else. Her clothes were different, too: a blouse decorated with blue flowers and a knee-length skirt.

"You're taller than I thought you'd be!" She said with surprise. "And you don't look out of place with those shades now!

"Yeah, well, look at you. Since when did you dye your hair?" He asked.

"Wait, what the heck is going on?" The boy on the motorcycle cut in angrily. He climbed off of it and tossed his apron to the ground.

"Shh, let them have their moment!" Dave looked up to see a girl sitting half out of the front passenger seat of the SUV, looking amused.

"Oh! Dave, this is Jack and Miko! They're some friends I've made here in Nevada." Jade gestured to each in turn. "Miko, Jack, this is Dave Strider! He's one of my best friends." She then faltered a bit and shot Dave a bemused look. "But why are you here?"

"I came to see you, dumbass," Dave replied. "You think I'd miss the chance to see you in person? And besides that, I want to find out what the hell is going on." Jade looked confused, and, Dave noted, Jack and Miko looked a little nervous.

"What do you mean, what's going on?" Jade asked.

"C'mon, Jade," Dave said, "did you honestly think I would just accept your vague story over Pesterchum? I want to find out who these 'nice people' that you're staying with are and how exactly you got here from the middle of the fucking ocean." Jade sighed.

"Dave," she said, "I told you, I can't—"

"I can't even meet them? Jade, I'm not letting this go. We—Egbert, Lalonde, and me—until recently, we were the only ones who knew you existed, and now that you're someplace else, we're not going to just forget about you and hope you're okay. We're gonna watch out for you. And if you'd told Egbert or Lalonde first, they would have done the same thing."

"I know, but—" Jade began.

"Also," Dave added, "does it have anything to do with the fact that the SUV doesn’t have a driver?" He pointed to the driver's seat beyond Miko, which was quite obviously empty. Jade, Jack, and Miko exchanged hesitant looks.

"Alright," someone finally said. Dave looked around. The voice didn't belong to any of the kids. It was pretty obviously an adult woman's voice. Then, to his shock, Jack's motorcycle started moving on its own. It turned around to face them, and it was all Dave could do to act like he wasn't stunned.

"We'll tell you what's going on," the motorcycle (woman?) continued. "It's obvious that you won't leave until we do, and it's better just to tell you and make you swear to secrecy than to let you snoop around and try to find out the truth on your own."

"Are you sure Optimus will go for that?" This was another voice, a man's, and it came, a little unsurprisingly at this point, from the SUV.

"He'll understand," the motorcycle assured him. Then, she turned her headlights back to Dave. "But understand this, human. If you ever betray us, or spread knowledge about us, I'll take care of you personally." Internally, Dave shivered. Something about the tone of the motorcycle's voice convinced him that she was serious, and he didn't particularly want to find out what she could do.

"Sure," he said aloud nonchalantly. "As long as I find out what the fuck is going on."

"Good," she replied. "Then follow us. Jack, let's go." Jack shot another searching look at Dave before climbing on the motorcycle.

"Miko, Jade," the SUV said. Miko nodded, but paused to get in when Jade went to Dave first. She grabbed his hand, squeezed it once, and spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry I worried you," she said. "But you'll see what's going on real soon." Then, she released him and got in the SUV. Miko grinned and pulled herself in as well, but Dave ignored it. He got into his truck instead, hand still tingling a little from where she'd squeezed it.

Dave followed the motorcycle and SUV through the streets of Jasper and, eventually, out of it and into the desert. Dave was beginning to wonder exactly where they were going when both the motorcycle and the SUV started driving straight for a rock face. Just as Dave started to slow down to avoid a crash, an automatic door lifted up from the rock face, easily big enough for all three of them to pass through. Dave drove through it hesitantly and found himself in a hall of steel, lit by florescent lights. Dave was beginning to wonder exactly what he was getting into.

They finally came to a huge open room. It looked reminiscent of a military base, only Dave noticed that the control panels were much larger than what any human could use. That alone set off red flags to Dave. There was a platform with human sized stars, and some computers that were more accommodating of humans, but that looked to be about it.

The motorcycle and SUV came to a stop and let off their passengers. But, as Dave started climbing out of his truck, they did more than that. They transformed. Dave literally stopped halfway out of his truck to watch as the two became humanoid robots that towered over the humans they were with. The motorcycle became a slender, shorter feminine robot while the SUV was a bulkier, taller one. Just as they finished, yet a third robot walked towards them. This one was designed in white and orange, and its (his) figure was with broader shoulders but less brawny than the SUV 'bot.

"Good, you're back, help me—" the new one began, until he caught sight of Dave half hanging out of his truck.

"Who is this?!" He all but yelled, pointing angrily. Dave picked up immediately that this guy, robot or not, apparently had a stick up his ass. Dave climbed the rest of the way out of the truck as the new robot turned to the others. "You brought ANOTHER human here? As if we didn't have enough of them running around!'

"Ratchet, calm down!" Jade yelled back. "This is Dave. He's a friend of mine." That seemed to calm the robot, Ratchet, down slightly. He still didn't look very happy.

"Look, I'm just here to find out what the fuck happened to Jade," Dave cut in. "Obviously, it's something pretty big. Motorcycle chick here said I'd get an explanation, provided I swore I'd take it to my grave or whatever. So?" The blue motorcycle 'bot glared at him, and Ratchet glared at her.

"My name is Arcee, not 'motorcycle chick,'" Arcee said irritably. She turned to Ratchet. "He came to ensure that Jade was safe. I could tell he cared about her, and although he's annoying, I thought he deserved an explanation." Ratchet looked at Dave.

"And how long have you known her that you would care about here so much?" Ratchet asked.

"Six years," Dave replied. "And how long have you known her?" Ratchet winced.

"Enough, Ratchet." Dave turned at the sound of a new, booming voice. From behind a door came yet another robot, this one primarily red and blue. Something about him screamed "leader" to Dave, something about the way that he held himself and how the others reacted to him.

"Optimus," Arcee said, stiffening.

"It's alright, Arcee," Optimus replied. "What has been done has been done. The important thing to do now is to properly explain why we are here." He knelt down close to Dave, looking directly at him. The boy started to feel nervous, like those bright blue robot eyes of his could see straight past Dave's shades and into his soul. Hell, Dave thought, maybe they could.

Dave listened intently as Optimus told him everything from the beginning. About the war, who they were fighting, and why. About how Jade got involved, and how she was living with them now. Dave wasn't immediately sure how to take it, but it was hard to doubt. Not with the proof of it right in front of him, and Jade agreeing with every word.

"Alright, so you guys are nice and all, but what do you know about taking care of a teenager?" He asked, folding his arms over his chest. "Yeah, she's kind of a weird kid, but she's going to have to find a way to live on her own eventually. That means school, and college. Not to mention food and clothes." He stared back at Optimus, waiting for a reply. "Do you guys even have any money?"

"No," Optimus admitted. "And schooling had not occurred to us, either—"

"If she goes to school, she's gotta have an address and a guardian. And my guess is that you don't exactly want people knowing that you're here, and it'd cause a bit of trouble if one of you showed up for a parent teacher conference," Dave added.

"Then what would your suggestion be to remedy this?" Optimus asked.

"You don't have to go to all that trouble—" Jade began, but Dave cut her off.

"Yes, they do," he said. "Jade, you can't function without schooling and, eventually, a job. These guys may be nice and all, but you can't depend on them your entire life." He turned back to Optimus. "I'd be hitting up that FBI friend of yours. He probably owes you a favor. Get money, maybe some paperwork on Jade. Explain the situation, and he'll probably know what to do, or where to start."

"Yes," Optimus said, standing as he did. "I believe Agent Fowler may help us with this. Your are a wise young man, Dave." Dave shrugged.

"I'm just looking out for Jade," he replied.

"We understand that," Optimus said. "We want to do what is best for her as well, but sometimes that is difficult when we do not fully understand human culture."

"As long as someone's doing something about it," Dave said.

"How long can you stay?" Jade asked, cutting in. Dave shrugged.

"I'll probably need to get going soon." he admitted.

"But you just got here! How long does it take to get back?"

"About seventeen hours, give or take," he said. Jade looked aghast.

"You mean you drove seventeen hours to get here? How did you make it that long?"

"Perseverance and the promise of seeing your beautiful face," he replied with a smirk, and Jade laughed.

"Well, couldn't Ratchet ground bridge you home? That would be a lot quicker!" She suggested.

"Now wait a minute," Ratchet cut in. "Our energon supply is severely limited. We don't have enough to waste on—"

"Ratchet," Optimus cut in, "I believe we have enough for one short trip." Ratchet looked like he wanted to argue more, but he finally begrudgingly nodded.

"Wait, what's a ground bridge?" Dave asked.

"It's a portal that can take you anywhere on Earth instantaneously!" Jade said excitedly. "It's how I was able to get here from my island."

"Okay then," Dave said.

"Anyway, it means you can stay longer!" She gave him another hug. He stiffened in response, but accepted it without a word. Finally, she relinquished him and grabbed his arm. "C'mon! I want to show you around the base!" He let her drag him along. Jack and Miko followed. Miko began chattering to Dave immediately, asking him about his favorite music. She was ecstatic about the fact that he did his own mixing, and even more when Dave told her that he had heard of many of her favorite Japanese metal bands. Both girls told him excitedly about all the Transformers, including Bumblebee, the one who was currently gone. He was out with Raf, the fourth kid who knew about the Autobots.

Jack was a lot more reserved. He didn't say much, and seemed to do his best to simply avoid Dave. When he did speak, it was usually something sarcastic. Dave noticed, though, that Jade and Miko seemed oblivious. He didn't entirely want to leave on bad terms with Jack, and though it took some doing, Dave finally got them alone while Jade and Miko left to find a video game.

"Hey," Dave said. "Jack, right?"

"I'm surprised you even remember it," the other boy replied coldly. Dave sighed.

"Look, if this is about pressing you for info about Jade—"

"More about you forcing your way in here," Jack snapped back.

"Like I said, I'm just looking out for Jade," Dave said. "You guys can have your little secret base here. I'm only going to stay here for a while, and then I'll be headed off back to Texas."

"Then why don't you go?" Jack said.

"Because of Jade," Dave replied. "This is the first time I've gotten a chance to see here face-to-face. We've known each other for forever, and I've seen pictures and shit, but it's not that same. You think I'm going to abandon the opportunity to spend some time with her?"

"I guess not," Jack admitted.

"Anyway," Dave said, "I wanted to ask you to do something for me." Jack stiffened.

"What?" He asked tersely.

"Watch after Jade when I'm gone," Dave said. Jack's eyebrows went up in surprise.

"What for? She can take care of herself, probably better than we can."

"With fighting and shit, maybe," Dave admitted. "But she's going to be going to school for the first time. She doesn't know shit about people and how big an asshole most of them can be. We never told her much about bullies or anything like that. The only exposure she's had to them are internet trolls, and I can tell you, she didn't take them well."

"What would you know about bullies?" Jack said snidely. "You look more like the type to be doing it." Dave blinked. So this was the guy's issue? He thought he was some sort of prep? Dave sighed.

"Shows how much you know," he said. "I'm not a jock or a prep. I'm not good at sports, and I don't have a lot of money. And I was pretty damn awkward until I hit about fifteen." He shrugged. For a long moment, Jack didn't say anything.

"Sorry," he said finally. "I guess I just sort of assumed."

"It's cool. That was sort of the point, but I didn't want to leave here with you hating me for something that wasn't even true." Jack looked as though he was about to say something in response, but he was cut off when the girls came back. Regardless, for the rest of the afternoon, Jack was a little less icy and a little more open.

However, the time soon came when Dave had to leave. It was getting later in the afternoon, and Dave knew it was nearly the time when Bro was expecting him back.

"You'll come back, Right?" Jade asked hopefully. "Ratchet can bridge you here!" Ratchet spluttered, as if to say "I'll do no such thing!" but Dave just shrugged.

"We'll see, Harley, but if things work out, you'll be busy with schoolwork pretty soon." Jade looked crestfallen, but she smiled regardless.

"You better come back!" Miko said. "And bring your mixing gear! We'll have a jam session!"

"I'll see what I can do," Dave said. He finished getting in the truck, started it, and rolled down the window.

"Since you have not been seen by Decepticons, I do not think you will require our protection from them," Optimus said as Ratchet locked onto the coordinates they'd found for Dave.

"That's cool," Dave replied. "We don't get much in the way of giant robots down in Texas, so I think I'll be fine." As the ground bridge started up, Dave turned to the kids. "Seeya Jade, Miko. And Jack—don't forget what I asked you." With that, he rolled up the window, revved the engine of his truck, and sped through the bridge. He was transported to a deserted area not far outside Houston, from where he could easily get home.

"What did he mean, 'what I asked you'?" Jade said, turning to Jack.

"Oh, uh, nothing," the other boy replied. "Just guy stuff."

"Now Jade," Ratchet said, walking over to where they stood as the ground bridge fizzled out. "You don't have any other annoying human friends who are going to come and demand you tell them what is going on, do you?" Jade visibly flinched at that.

"Dave did say something about two more friends," Arcee added.

"I, uh, might have told my friend John?" She admitted. "But not Rose! I won't say a thing to her, I promise!" Ratchet just groaned.

---

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]