Eat clean, Train mean

Thank you so so so much, this means so much ♥  ♥ 

I don’t know if it’s weird for me to write this here but tumblr was the only place I felt it would be appropriate :). Sooo, I haven’t posted on here for over a year. The reason for that being that I relapsed and my previous eating disorder got much worse than ever before. I went from bulimia to anorexia, from 104 lbs to 85lbs in just two months. I became severely underweight, depressed, my period stopped coming, hair started falling out and I isolated myself from everyone who loved me. In other words, I was a complete wreck. An eating disorder is not a choice, I didn’t choose to be unhappy. I starved myself and I forced myself to take long walks every day when in reality, my body didn’t have the energy to do anything. My incredible mom pushed me towards recovery and I forced myself to get healthier. I was in and out of the hospital and by the time school started again I started gaining weight. Recovery was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I cried every day, had panic attacks and binged as a form of punishment. I wanted to die. I didn’t think I deserved to be happy, loved and healthy. I don’t know how but eventually everything became easier.  After six months I was eating normally again and I was focusing more on school than my body. When my period came back I was ecstatic. Haha don’t think I’ve ever been happier about having my period than at that moment. So this is me one year later. I'm stronger, happier, faster, have more energy than ever. I eat what I feel like, I run, lift and my legs are strong and healthy. At my heaviest weight ever I feel SO happy and content with myself. Recovery was the hardest and best thing I’ve done for myself. I fought my eating disorder and I WON :)