PAINTED LIPS, DIRTY KNEES

Ah, hello! That’s really nice of you, thank you! 8]

No clue when you sent this to me [I haven’t logged onto tumblr in...shit, it’s gotta be at *least* a year by now? 

Logged on tonight, on a whim, due to insomnia.] but I figured I’d let it be an opportunity to announce to whomever on tumblr wondered where I went:

Planning my spring/summer tour! 

I’ve got a loose itinerary already, but wanted to put out feelers. So...where should I go?

Well, when I’ve got demons to chase away, I’m more likely to do it by jumping into cold bodies of water at night, crawling naked up sand dunes, climbing fire escapes, disembarking at random bus stops and then singing to myself while wandering, partying with people who think my accent is funny, or hiding from everybody and watching Rick and Morty with other people’s pets.

Ah, that’s always such a hard question for me to answer without just giving a cop-out general response.

Really depends on the context [my mood, what I’m doing, the present company]. I just got back from Kiwiburn where, of course, there was quite a bit of EDM and that sort of thing. Some great live performances, too [gypsy folk and such]. But I appreciate a diverse spectrum of varieties and genres.

Cool story, bro.

Quick PSA for all occupants of the tumblr-verse [because this is the *least* vulgar/rude/annoying ask that’s still managed to make me roll my eyes–the *really* bad asks I don’t even dignify with a response]:

There is a difference between a well-meant compliment and invasive comments, and it seems like some people [who may not have ill intentions] genuinely can’t tell the distinction.

So here it is, at least according to me:

I don’t want to hear about what you’d do to me or what you want me to do to you, or whatever. I also don’t want to hear about how you fetishize me [or parts of me]–people yammering on about the shrub on my crotch as if it’s a unicorn-stocked Taj Mahal gets old fast, even when it’s meant to be flattering. If my photos prompt you to put my nads on a pedestal, that’s dandy, but it doesn’t concern me and I don’t need to hear about it.

Why do some people [usually men] think that, just because they have a sexual thought, they need to share that thought with the person they had it about? When I’m physically attracted to a stranger, I don’t take that as a license to go barf fantasies upon that stranger. 

Save that stuff for the people you go to bed with–or for the people who’ve been flirting back at you and seem to be indicating that they’re receptive to receiving that sort of attention from you.

Desire is natural: people are completely allowed to think and do whatever they want…in the privacy of their own heads, and behind closed doors, and with consenting partners. Fantasies are fine. What all you people on the Internet think about doing to my body is your business…but keep it that way by not subjecting me to it, yo.

Why is this so annoying? Because it’s dehumanizing…particularly when directed at a woman, since we’ve been culturally conditioned to measure our worth by our desirability according to men, and not by our own self-determined metric of value. And I’m using my platform [i.e., modest social media following] to gently call it out.

That’s an important thing for men to understand: if you yourself are not perpetrating these negative interactions, then experiences that are nearly universal to women may be completely invisible to you. 

For example, grown men regularly began cat-calling me on the street when I was eleven years old [i.e., before I was menstruating, and before I was even old enough to really understand what they were doing], and several of my bosses and teachers have made uninvited advances towards me in my late teens and early twenties [which is frustrating to a girl who’s trying to earn respect in an academic or professional setting]. 

This is such a common in-the-background experience for women that it often goes unspoken of. I recently mentioned this offhand to my childhood best [male] friend and he was shocked. He’d never noticed that I [and our female friends/classmates] had regularly received that sort of attention all through our adolescence…it wasn’t really happening much when he was around, because creepy men who know that they are being creepy tend to behave better when other men are around.

So, understandably, women have usually got a bit more of a chip on their shoulder when it comes to not being dehumanized in this way.

Okay, I’m done soapboxing.

Have a good night, everyone. Masturbation-fodder is in the eye of the beholder, and sex-positivity is rad, and there are plenty of exhibitionists on the Internet. Being sexual does not make you a bad person. But imposing upon the objects of your attraction when they DGAF is not flattering, it’s unkind [and obnoxious].

This week, someone very rudely asked about my sex life, another person called my hair “unfeminine”, and two people felt the need to tell me that my photos were affecting their gonads in some-kinda-way. Yo. It’s getting boring.

Man, that’s tough to answer. But I’m going to have fun with it. This answer is going to be longer than any person in their right mind will bother reading [but I’m waiting for the dentist so I’ve got time to kill].

I grew up largely on Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Adams, and Oscar Wilde [Catch-22 deserves a shout-out, as well]. My favorite book as a teenager was The Count of Monte Cristo.

I read contemporary and classical literature from various periods and places, and the nonfiction I read runs the gamut from personal/travel/essay stuff to math and science. And I’ve gravitated lately towards writers who are [or are influenced by] Buddhist and Sufi thinkers. But I’ve had all sorts of phases: manga phases [what’s up, nerds?] to existentialist phases [to an Ayn Rand phase...easily the most embarrassing phase of them all]. 

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This last month has been a contender for “hardest time of my life” so far [which is part of why I haven’t had much of a social media presence lately--gotta go slay some dragons IRL without worrying about what’s going on on the Internet], so the books I’ve been reading lately are reflective of that.

For anyone who’s going through a hard time--undergoing a breakdown or major change, dealing with a crisis, coping with a loss, or just feeling anxious/stressed/overwhelmed/confused/hopeless about life in general--I would recommend Pema Chodron lately [currently reading The Places that Scare You, but I’ve got three of her books, her best-known of which is When Things Fall Apart]. While I’m not much for spiritual or self-help books in general, I really like her approach [she’s a Buddhist monk and began writing these books after she divorced her husband]. I would also suggest Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, which I’ve revisited many times over the years.

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Before that, I was reading 1493 by Charles C. Mann which I found very interesting [but not the quickest read--it’s pretty dense with information]. This year I’ve also read some Alan Watts [usually I listen to his lectures], Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods, and Cheryl Strayed’s Wild.

Off the top of my head, what I’m hoping to read more of in the near future: Bill Bryson, Tom Robbins, Kim Addonizio [poetry], Haruki Murakami. I love David Foster Wallace, but his work’s a bit to bleak for me to get near right now. And Philip K. Dick--I’ve haven’t yet read any of his books, but several of my closest friends have been harassing me about doing so for years.

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As for movies...what genres I like really depends on my mood.

The biggest adventures of my life aren’t documented on camera. 8]

At this point, the idiosyncrasies of modeling are pretty resolutely within my comfort zone [I’ve racked up almost a thousand clients], so I’m not easily surprised or intimidated by people or situations within the industry.

Pretty simple! 8]

A. Contact me via one of these sites, ideally following the inquiry guidelines I’ve outlined:http://www.modelmayhem.com/533961http://freyagallows.com

B. Have model references and/or a portfolio [as much as you’re able to provide] so I can adequately vet you to feel confident that I’ll make it out of the shoot fully paid and with my life and well-being intact. ;]

In general, no. I’m not in this for validation, and meeting people who know me only as a symbol on the Internet, a projection of some female ideal, isn’t really a recipe for friendship.

However, I have met *one* fan/patron through social media; he’s been especially generous and courteous and so *I* reached out to *him* when I was in his town. We hung out a couple times and he was really cool [though I probably made a pretty weird first impression since a girl friend and I showed up to an event after we’d been running around drinking, as she and I are wont to do when we get together]. So that was cool. 8]

But in general...no.