Words Make Heat

It is painfully obvious that I'm on my period right now.

So fucking tired of feeling this way.

Supposed to be starting another 40 day elimination diet tomorrow and it is much needed, but I am also going through a stressful time personally and trying to decide if I should start the 40 days and risk failing, or wait until things are less stressful to start. I feel like it's now or never, but I'm afraid of not being able to maintain the mental strength that this requires. I guess there is no real risk, if I fail, I fail. "Failure is not permanent," said someone...

So my neurologist RX'd an antidepressant to help me sleep and relax my jaw (I have TMJ and I grind my teeth). I can't believe how much better I feel overall. There are exceptions, but it's almost like I just don't care or worry as much. I can focus on the positives more. I have been sleeping much better. I am more interested in sex. I actually want to workout and do things and go places. I still grind my teeth, but not as bad. I am constantly dehydrated and have trouble drinking enough water. I am still dizzy, but it's no longer constant. Hoping I can discontinue the BP med that I'm on, but won't know for another two months. Neuro wants to see how I'm doing after 3 months on both before changing anything. As much as I'd like to not take medication, I am hopeful that it will allow me to feel better and be happier long term.

I'm so excited for what's next. Life seems to be going in exactly the right direction at exactly the right time.

From this day forward I am recommitting to focusing on: Healthy living Romance Adventure That includes taking medication 😢, allowing myself to take rest days, and limiting stress. It also includes going out with friends, hiking and getting outside, and adventuring with my love. I like this plan.

Does it mean I've had too much coffee if my poo smells like coffee?

Got my first chest to bar pull-up yesterday, but no one was watching and I haven't been able to repeat it yet. I'll be there again this afternoon and will give it another try, but if I'm still not super close, I throw a band on and practice with switched grip. My goal is to get a bar muscle up by the end of the year. I think I can do it; I'm surprised at how strong I feel considering how my body had felt over the last several months. Oh! Also PR'd my bench press! 105# and failed at 110#. Always go until failure so you know you maxed out. Loving Crossfit lately...

Went indoor climbing last weekend with some friends for the first time in over 2 years and it was amazing! I had no idea how much stronger I had gotten since my last time climbing and it was exhilarating! I can't wait to go again! Will probably sign up for an outdoor trip with a local gym for this summer and get some outdoor experience! Ooh this is going to be the best year ever!

Started my reset yesterday and all is well so far except: I have a monster headache I'm constipated I gained a pound Haha! It's crazy that one full day without sugar gives me a rip roaring headache, but I quit coffee (temporarily) with no ill effects... It's also that time of the month, so I think that's probably contributing. Seeing a new specialist this Thursday. Hoping they find something that could be causing my symptoms.