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@wordsbyt

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You know,
when you write with a tear in your eye, the words look smudgy.
They seem hard to read,
and even harder to come by.
How do you explain what someone means to you,
when they have meant so much for so long?
She knew. Iām sure of that.
She knew what she meant.
You want to hold on forever,
but you know that time runs out.
You know, Iāve forgotten you. Just like I said I would. Unless of course, someone mentions your name. Then I remember.
But, I have forgotten you. Yes I have. Until our song comes on. Then maybe not. Besides that, I have forgotten you, just like I told you.
Except when I look in the mirror, and donāt see you behind me, then maybe I think of you. Only then though.
Not often.
I forgot you.
Maybe you could count the times I called your number, or almost texted, but that was only late at night.
That doesnāt matter, right? Because I forgot you.
Yes I have forgotten all about youā¦
āWhen I asked the Devil if he was reconsidering the devine, he only said āwhy?ā He added, āAm I not Devine? After all, what am I? Thatās easy. I am that second slice of pie you want but maybe shouldnāt eat. I am a yes when a no should be the answer. I am the ālast drinkā, the ājust one moreā, the āwatch thisā. I am everything you want. The yes you want to hear. I am the giver of a good time. The no holds barred. I am the giver, but also the taker. Is that not Divinity?ā
I held our love, in my clenched fist.
Never letting it loose.
Never letting it go.
Never letting it be free.
But, when I opened my hand, love was gone.
Let loose
Let go.
Let free.
And when I reached to grab it, to hold it again, love flew away......
Loose,
Go,
Free.
Thatās when I realized, you canāt hold love.
You have to unchain a heart for it to stay.
The tighter the grip,
the more love wants to fly.
Let love go, to let love remain.

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I was in my backyard last night. Sun on my back, dogs in my yard, and I realized that this may just be as close as I will ever get to Heaven.
And I was ok with thatā¦ā¦
Causeā right now Heavenās right here
The moon was still awake. Just a silhouette, but still there.
She wanted to share the morning.
For the sun gets up early, and shines his light so bright.
And the moon, she gets tired from lighting up the night.
But today she wanted to share.
She wanted to share the morning.

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āGlitterford Reserveā
Notes from a lifetime Second Banana;
The naive person in me wants to make a difference
The idealist in me knows I can
The realist in me knows that someone else will probably take the credit
--so, what I need to figure out is, am I seeking the result or the regard?
Can you accept me?
For me?
What Iāve found out about people in general, is itās okay as long as you agree with them. There are two opinions in their world. The correct one, theirs. And the wrong one which is if you disagree with them. And, people assume about you based on your looks, or sexuality, or ethnicity. Especially the ones that want to call you out because of it. And usually, they are the same ones that assume of you based on the things they are calling you on. " I hate _______ people because they allā¦..ā
-do you realize that makes YOU the same or worse than what you hate?
Live your life.
Love your life.
But donāt hate someone that YOU DONāT know, because you assumed something about them that is based on a generalized idea that may not be true. THAT is racism. THAT is hate. THAT is the problem.
Itās not white people,
Itās not black people,
Itās not gay people,
Itās not straight people,
Itās not.
Itās BAD people.
And they come in all colors,
And all lines of work,
And all sexes,
And all sexualities.
Donāt be one.
Itās that simple.
āCan you accept me?
For me?
Because Iām gay, you assume?
Because Iām straight, you assume?
Or, because Iām white you assume?
Because Iām black, you assume?
Because Iām red, yellow, brown, you assume?
Iām everyday people.
Not good unless Iām good.
Not bad unless Iām bad.
Everyday people are like that.
If you assume,
You may be the problem.
Can you accept me?
Me, for me?"
Interpretationsā¦ā¦
I think love,
should kick me in the heart. Should smack me in my teeth.
Should squeeze the tears and drink them,
before they hit the ground.
I think love,
should grab me by the guts. Should tear the smile right from me.
Should punch me in my face and laugh,
before I turn around.
I think love,
should hurt the pleasant places.
Should pull the strings and break them.
Should look at me and wonder,
before I come unwound.
I think love,
should sing a song that haunts me.
Should say the same verse over.
Should repeat the lines that hurt me,
before I make a sound.
I think love,
should take a knife and cut me.
Should crack my ribs and crush me.
Should leave me to die slowly,
before Iām stitched and bound.
I think love,
should pick me up and hug me.
Should press the air right out me.
Should collapse the lungs that breathe me,
before I choke and cough and drown.

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She said, āIāll be yours for a song.ā
And I said, ābut, I canāt sing.ā
She replied, āthen speak the words to me....ā
So I did.
I said āThe day has come for you to know. That I love youās can come and go. But a love like mine will last forever. From yesterday until the twelfth of never. For I have wanted this because I loved you. And my words have been silent, but always true. For to say nothing would be terribly wrong. Iāll be yours for a song, Iāll be yours for a song.ā
She smiled and said,
āA song in the heart can be heard without singing. A melody of words like a bell ringing. To hear you speak the words you dared, makes me know you are the one who cared. To never hear them would have been terribly wrong. Iām yours for a song. Iām yours for a song.ā
I was looking for you. I was lost, and couldn't find my way. You seemed so close, but I couldn't see you. Maybe you didn't want to be found. By me. The more I looked the clearer that became. I could look for you, or even right at you, and never find you. That's when I found me. I found a way to look past the past. To see the unseen. To find me. And now, I'm not looking for you. I've found myself, and I like what I see.