25. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully heal, like I’m so weird. There’s this void space inside me that when I’m alone I feel, and when I’m with someone it’s covered. I don’t know how to fix myself, or to change my core. Ya know, like this has always been me, how do you change what makes you, you? I wish I could go back. Before all this. Before every fucking thing. I wish I took time to know myself before I jumped into relationship, after relationship; praying that these boys can fix what I cannot. It’s not theirs to fucking fix. It’s mine. But yet here I am, 25. Not really progressing, not really any happier.... just older. I like to this wiser. I would like to think I learn from mistakes, or realize these catastrophic flaws. But here we are, older, still sad. Still depending on someone else to fix what I don’t know how to fix. Is that a thing, to not be able to fix yourself, like ever? Like am I always going to be like this? Rationalizing my life... I am better then before. I am stronger then I believe. I can be happy with myself. I guess it is different, like I’m sad but I use to be really sad. Like I’m mad but I use to get really mad. Like there’s a void, but it use to be wide open. I am 25. And my heart has been so fucking broken before, and honestly it helped so much. Because nothing can be worse then going through that alone, and now I’m here, alone but not broken. Ramble ramble ramble.
snowghoul
gamechangershow
gummygunk
stormborns
