🐾

I don't pray for salvation... God!, don't let me forget her eyes... that's all I ask.

when Sharon Olds said "If I pass a mirror, I turn away, I do not want to look at her, and she does not want to be seen."

when Rachel Mckibbens said "It’s okay to wave good-bye to yourself in the mirror. To write, I don’t want anything. It’s okay to despise what you have inherited, to feel dead in a city of pulses. It’s okay to be the whale that never comes up for air, to love best the taste of your own blood."

but then also when Dale Cooper said "I don’t know who I am. We search and search, and always end up looking into the same mirror, at the same reflection, hoping that we will find something different. Heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … please."

the overwhelming feeling of sadness sometimes when someone treats me with kindness

*lights a cigar with a match and leans back in my plush leather chair, looking out through the blinds at the city. my fuckin city.*

Hamsterdam

“To try to not be more interesting but be more interested” literally changed my life perspective btw

To do things not for the sake of coming off a certain way or fitting a certain aesthetic or to grab ppl’s attention more …. But to simply do them bc you’re curious and invested and would do them regardless of whether anyone was perceiving you or not …. That is literally the point

I’m genuinely understating how important this lesson has been for me bc we literally live in a world that’s all about aesthetics and branding and how to package urself even if you’re not even an influencer… dating tips that advise you to “focus on yourself” “take on more hobbies to have something to talk about and be interesting” like what if you just did those things bc you want to …. for the whimsy ….. bc we have one life ….. and then the rest just naturally follows . What if being interesting does not presuppose the interest. What if that sabotages it actually . What if the only actual way to be interesting and to evoke something in ppl and to capture their interest is by doing things bc you truly love them and for no other purpose

#this! #it's the: #you're so obsessed with how you are perceived that you can't fully enjoy living #let's enjoy living!!