Itās difficult to create a straight answer to this because my head is still all over the place with it, thereās a lot of contributing factors that Iām hoping Iāll eventually find the root of and break free of it.
A big factor is that having such a large following has me intimidated, I canāt stand to release something that I donāt think is up to standards. Which leads to the next thing, Iāve always been a perfectionist and my standard of whatĀ āperfectā is has skyrocketed as my music taste evolves, I do not have the skills to create what my mind thinks is a releasable standard. My style is evolving and this new direction still feels so primitive in comparison to what I've released in the past.
I also have a huge fear of failure now, Iād much rather not try to create than create something that just isnāt that good, which leads into a vicious circle of becoming rusty as Iām not creating for very long periods of time, so my fear rises.
I no longer ask for help with mixing or mastering advice because my ownĀ āstatusā as aĀ āpopularā musician makes me think people expect better of me, mixing and mastering is a big part of what I hate about what Iām creating and Iām embarrassed by the work I create and donāt want to share it for advice.
I should also just say Depression with a full-stop, I imagine this could be the biggest part of me second guessing myself so often, and itās taken me 3 years of not releasing music to finally seek help and medication with it.
All in all Iām disappointed in myself and the lack of content on my channel, I want nothing more than to start creating freely again, with no anxieties of creating things that might not be my best work, but itās the best I can do at the time.
If anyone has advice or a pep talk, they are more than welcome, and thanks for reading.
origamiaround
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
kianamaiart
izzy806
